They Set out To kill Fate
by KitKat Roar
Summary: The convolute nature of the imprint set against the back drop of Bella's 'supposed' happily ever after. . . and the awkwardness of being a shapeshifter/vampire/human hybrid and having Leah Clearwater as your 'guardian' to top it all off.
1. What Happens in Russia

_She is so beautiful… perfect baby… she has her eyes._

_Jacob?_

_Leah…_

_You imprinted. You imprinted on it…_

_On her Leah. She is perfect, she is everything… She is Renesme._

_Renesme._

"Leah… wake up…!" her tiny vanilla voice whispers sharply in my ear. "It's Renesme…!"

"Gerrof!" I swat her hand away from me, not bothering to open my eyes before reach around for something to cover my head from the sound of her stupid _perfect voice _and snuff out the irritating _pleasant scent_

She huffs delicately before rising up and away from my position on the floor, her expensive shoes tapping softly on the wood floor as she walks away from the slowly sobering She-Wolf splayed on timber. I can imagine her looking around at everything, scoffing and sneering at my little crappy apartment with one mangy brown sofa-it used to be cream-and an ancient TV set. And then there would be the matter of forty empty bottles of Vodka carpeting the floor…

"Ngh…" I groan, getting up groggily and swaying a little when I am upright. Little balls of light pop up abruptly in my vision and when they desist I realize that my guest has cleaned up my mess.

"You are naked" she states, watching me from were she is seated on the kitchen table-brown eyes impolitely raking my form. "And you don't shave…"

"Uh…" I gasp hoarsely, hand immediately covering my daisy. "Do you … how do you even know were I …?"

"You got sloppy" she says calmly. "Well, Jake decided he was done trying to find you and Seth… he is busy with Bethany so… it was up to me. And you know how I love doing things on my own…"

"Right…" I look around my little sleeping area-it's scattered with ribbons from my destroyed clothing. Nothing like a drunken Wolf stuck in a little apartment…

"Hmm" Renesme murmurs "The floor manager thought you were being murdered. Also, you have an eviction notice for numerous things"  
>"You read my mail?"<br>"I read your mail" she smiles a little. "You might want to get dressed…after a shower" 

You might want to stop acting like my mother when you are a ten year old _married_ brat.

Xx~xx~xX

"It would mean a great deal to Jacob if you came too…" she says softly, sipping the coffee distastefully-her face puckering after she swallows.

I wonder if she does that when Jacob asks her to swallow… pinching those beautiful marble features into uneven cement…

"I don't…" she sighs, removing her sunglasses and placing them on top of the little coffee table. "It was obviously before me… what happened with him… Jacob…"

"Nothing happened with Jacob" I say coldly.

"But you left"  
>"No…" I laugh sarcastically. "You left and I stayed. I wasn't you <em>personal <em>Labrador…"

"Even when he asked you to visit…!" her visage slips and the emotions of a ten year old lock hard in place in her brown eyes.

"Renesme…" I say in mock patience-thinking if we hurry this up she can go back to her mansion with her family, we can leave this stupid girly coffee shop and I can begin my search for a new place to stay.

"Dear sweet Nessie…" I murmur smiling at her.

"Don't patronize me Clearwater" she snaps. "You and I no better than that…"  
>"You are right" I laugh. "We do, don't we… anyway. You shouldn't believe the version of why I stayed in La Push or in fact any story to do with me… if it is told by Isabella. I was not in love with Jacob but I cared for him… maybe a little over what was necessary but it wasn't like with Sam. Some of us 'close to human' beings don't play that whole love at first sight…"<br>"You imprint, that's kind of like…"  
>"Kid, how many times do I have to tell you to never correct or prove me wrong!"<br>"It isn't… I am twenty years old!" she huffs.

"Renesme" I grin, watching her attempt to keep her lips from pouting childishly. "You are physically eighteen and technically ten years old. You don't get to start adding years after you stopped aging at eight naturally…"  
>"You don't get to make me feel guilty" she whispers. "You don't get to make me wonder…"<p>

"You aren't supposed to question the imprint, Idiot" I laugh and she loses her battle with pouting. "Do you want me to buy you a lollipop?"

"I wonder of so many things, Leah" she says seriously and I hate that I am always the person she comes to for this emotional crap, turning into a skilled tracker every time I change addresses. Rustling up my phone number somehow…. I just want to get drunk, does she know how hard it is for a Wolf to get drunk… properly fucked up… it takes concentration and determination and even after achieving the goal, you have to remember that you can't leave the sanctuary of your den, you can't howl or move about too much… you just lie there like a broken down machine with no spares…

"I wonder about you a lot these days" she says, her eyes-eyes I had thought stupid when Jacob had over analyzed them on Bella's face-deep and full of a curious sort of compassion.

"I wonder why you have to disappear…" she continues. "I wonder why you can't be this way… the way you are with me now, when we are alone… I wonder why you can't be this way when everyone else is here…"

"You come up with any answers, Kid?" I ask, hating when my voice pitches.

"I think you wanted to hate me" she says, smiling a little. "But you don't"  
>"I don't necessarily like you, Spawn"<p>

"I like you too" she beams, little white teeth flashing in the light filtering through the yellow blinds of the window. "You are… I think, my best friend"

"Your selection sucks"

"No, this is the one thing I got right" she says stubbornly.

"That's bullshit and you know it!" I scoff. "You get _everything _right… perfect little _Nessie_"

She frowns when I say it like that and takes another sip of her coffee, her wedding ring gleaming on her finger when she raises the cup through the light, to her lips and my heart squeezes painfully.

"Leah…" she says and she does the oddest thing-she reaches for my hand, placing her cooler one on top carefully-wearily-and bombards me with her stupid ostentatious gift.

_She wonders why I left… she wonders why Jacob is immensely sad, feels guilty over it and simultaneously angry with him self. She knows if she asked him about it… he would tell her, but she doesn't want the imprint-coated version._

_When she starts realising that Jacob's words, encouragement and careful joking around are all imprint-coated, she wonders some more. She is jealous of how I would fight with Jacob, she is even jealous of the time we got into it physically-to worked up to phase and I ended up with a dislocated jaw and a remorseful Jacob Black hovering over me with raw emotion-an emotion she is certain had been fighting of the imprint tooth and nail when it saw angry tears welling up in my eyes._

_She loves him, she wants him… but she wonders. What if the imprint… what if it wasn't there…?_

"You are not supposed to _wonder_!" I hiss, snatching my hand away violently and startling her and two primp socialite rich girls seated next to our table.

"Why…?" she whispers.

"You will break him…!" I hiss, leaning on the table and holding her stupid vulnerable eyes. "You will destroy him… he never wanted to phase, you know….!"

"He does it for me?"

"Because you are _special_" I say scathingly, my heart pinching, twisting and beating in a painful fast rhythm-Sam never wondered. He never questioned… no one has ever questioned… she shouldn't… make me think that I didn't try hard enough… I am over it.

"I thought about it… in private of course…" she says, her face suddenly looking slightly aged. "I thought that maybe… just maybe… Jacob and I were meant to be as friends. Like my relationship with Seth. And when I found out mother was… well, had been in love with him, I stored that information for further…"  
>"You are a married, happily in love young woman" I snarl. "You don't have the luxury of <em>masochism.<em> Go back to your husband and…"  
>"I am pregnant" she whispers.<p>

"What?"

"Pregnant?" she repeats, her hand ghosting over her flat stomach under the cashmere cardigan she is wearing. "With Child… I had sex…"

"Right" I lean back in my chair and heave. "You had sex"

"It was awful" she smiles shyly. "It felt like… _incest_"

"Was this when you returned to your anti-imprint thoughts?" I ask. "When Jacob couldn't deliver…"

"We did it a few more times" she says guiltily, like she is on trial before me. "Always awful… he doesn't like touching me like that, or seeing me naked."  
>"When you started sprouting boobs, it was all he could think about…"<p>

"Well, now everything is settled" she says thoughtfully. "I feel like we have both been imprisoned by this, Leah"

"By the imprint?"

"He would never say it or think it… but seeing me birthed, come on!" she laughs a little crazily. "He saw his wife being birthed…!"

"Keep your voice down, Renesme!" I say sharply and she just rolls her eyes.

"He saw me being birthed" she repeats. "I didn't see him being birthed…"  
>"Oh, so you want him but he doesn't … I am so confused right now" I groan.<p>

"He loved my mother…" she whispers. "She loved him… he was going to fall for you…"

"And then some Idiot named Fate who writes our lives came and fucked it, right?"

"Right"

"So, you came half way across the world to Russia to vent" I ask, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of my leather jacket.

"Those things will kill you" a man murmurs in a thick Russian accent, shuffling to our table and taking out a lighter anyway. "Eventually"

"Even then…" I chuckle, balancing the cigarette between my lips and peering up at him. Not too bad on the eyes… "After 'eventually' I'll still be alive"  
>"Pretty ladies with a good sense of humour" he laughs, looking over to Renesme (Super hybrid vampire with looks crafted by Da Vinci) who blushes-for the average looking human-and hides behind her menu. He grins at that, lighting my cigarette and pulling a chair to our table.<p>

"Do you mind?" he asks.

"Nessie, do _we mind_" I laugh, as she shakes her head no-only proof of this being that the raised menu covering her face moved with her. "My friend is shy"  
>"Shy…?" he laughs. "You are too beautiful to be shy"<p>

"But I am sorry" I sigh in fake regret. "We were in the middle of something important"

"Oh" he says disappointed, leaving the chair next to our table. "I will see you around though… when you are less… in the middle…"

He grins, completely missing the little implication his bad English left and salutes us before retreating.

Renesme drops the menu, face still red and glares at me.

"There is only one married woman here so don't give me you Edward death glare!"

"I do not have an Edward…"

"You look like him" I laugh. "Maybe that's why Jake was finding it hard to… deliver"

"You would have thought the imprint would fix that up" she grumbles. "Smoking is bad for babies"

"You've seen a smoking baby?" I ask her grinning. "Now that would be cool, rebel since brith…"

"No!" she huffs. "In the womb…!"  
>"Smoking is bad for human babies… not freaky… What the hell is even <em>growing <em>in your body?"

"I don't know…" she says softly.

"I would think the Good Doctor would be all over that…" I eye her suspiciously. "Edward should be glad o have something new to obsess and find pain from…"  
>"They don't know… that I am… pregnant" she breathes. "Not even Jacob"<p>

"You flew across the Earth with not a single Cullen trailing you" I murmur, putting the cigarette out.

"It involved a lot of top notch lies" she says seriously. "Jacob… is… in France. Waiting for our return"

"Our…?"

"You have to, Leah…" she pleads. "Leah…"

My heart squeezes with familiar but unwelcome pain for her pain. I remember when she last came on La Push land as a child, nervous…entirely shy besides the fact that she had a bunch of beautiful vampires telling her she was exceptional and perfect and when Jacob said she could go play with the other kids-she came and sat beside me on my lone log by the bon fire, telling me about the particulars of the war in the middle east and how the Bible could help to somehow understand how it began.

"It had been predicted in the book of…" I remember her saying, ignoring my huffing and muttering about Scottish monsters and mutant X babies.

I had had to tell her to keep the information to herself. Of all human tribes… the ones from the Middle East could cause grave harm to a vampire most probably with their expertise on bombing.

"Whatever, I'll… do it." I mutter, shaking the memory out of my mind. "Shouldn't you be craving or something?"

"Uh… yeah" she blushes. "Blood. But I haven't indulged!"  
>"Nothing new there, Big Bronze"<p>

**AUTHORS NOTE: REMEMBER TO REVIEW! Thoughts, suggestion, criticism, likes and dislikes truly help a writer. **

**This has nothing to do with 'A twisted Love' which is halted indefinitely. 'As I Am' is one third complete.**


	2. Leah's two Babies

**AUTHORS NOTE: chapter one was one shot so things have been changed, will re-edit it.**

"I never ever in a million years…"

"You are twenty seven Black, so I think you have to wait a while before a million…"

"Thought this would happen" he finished.

"The Renesme getting pregnant part?" I grinned. "Or the losing your virginity part?"

"Actually… both" he smiled sheepishly, his mature hard face turning soft and boyish instantly. How Isabella managed to chose cold hard and dead over this would always confuse me…

"So when you were having sex with her…"

He grimaced, looking out the grand window of their swanky Paris apartment and avoiding my gaze.

"You didn't think she would get pregnant?"

"She had stopped the… _womanly_ monthly thing at eighteen" he murmured.

"You mean eight?" I asked and his grimace contorted violently into a masochistic puckered scowl.

"Leah…" he sighed, taking a little blue Lindt chocolate from the silver tray on the glass coffee table, unwrapping it hastily and with a mouth smeared with soft decadent chocolate "She is… so… fragile"  
>"She is a bloodsucker" I murmured.<p>

"No that's not what I mean" he sighed. "Emotionally… she tries so hard to play her physical age, to prove her expansive mental range… but she is…"  
>"A ten year old" I finished.<p>

"And no amount of Edward telling me its okay, he condones or Carlisle giving me reassuring medical papers can change that" he almost groaned. "And I know it… I know it in my heart… it felt like we were playing a role, the whole marriage thing. It's what was expected… we were doing what was written out for us…"

"Right" I watched his bright eyes become overcast with an incomprehensible shadow.

"I mean… I imprinted" he laughed sarcastically. "I should not only love her, I should _be in love with her_…"

"You are…" I whispered. "You are in love with her. She is your Renesme. Perfect Renesme…"

"I should want to touch her…" he sighed closing his eyes. "Like a man touches a woman"

"You did, Jake…" here I was accusing everyone else of courting depression when I was wrapped up in the beauty that was a tortured Jacob Black. "You made love to her…"

"I went on top of her, struggled to get an erection…" he laughed hard and bitterly. "And just…well, finished quickly basically"

He opened his eyes and gazed at me with indifferent eyes to what he was saying. Lips pulled down into a sneer.

"My first time with my imprint and it sucked" he snarled. "And every other time subsequently… tell me that isn't a sign…?"

"She loves you"  
>"That's the worst part Leah" he rasped, gulping a rampant emotion that had escaped back down through his throat and into his heart. "She shows me how she <em>wants <em>me… and it makes me… sad and ill at the same time. A little voice yells at me to tell her it's wrong and I don't know why…"

"She is pregnant, Jake" I said softly. "You can't think like this… she has only ever known you"  
>"Me" he scoffed. "Her only choice… a dog"<p>

"A man"

"A man… Leah?" he looked up at me from his place on the couch-eyes wide and vulnerable. "I haven't stopped being sixteen… do you understand…?"

"Jake, you are her man…" I insisted. "Be her man"  
>"I am a boy in <em>this"<em> he waved a hand disgustedly over his perfect form of a man. "She is ten years old and pregnant and you know the sick part is when Bella finds out she is going to be so _overjoyed._ They all are... every single one of them… from La Push to the Cullen's… overjoyed"

"You don't want a baby?" I asked.

"I want a baby" he laughed. "I am happy Leah, don't get me wrong… a kid I can do right by, give a full _eighteen years of life_… as normal as possible…"

"But..?"

"It's at Nessie's expense" he said sadly. "I wanted her to have that, eighteen years of life but she can be stubborn and then those fucking hormones hit and she was Nessie with boobs and… well, and it wasn't so innocent but still _wrong_"

"She is scared, you have to hold her hand… you have to tell her that you'll love her… tell her she wont have to worry"

"When did you get so wise Clearwater?" he grinned.

"When Sam got the beer pouch" I laughed. "Made me realise fate saved me from having to sit over _that _during sex…"  
>"Way too much information, Clearwater"<p>

"You just told me about your Premature problem" I said and he blushed. "So I think that information rationing system flew out the window long ago"

"I am glad you came… that she found you" he said, smiling a little.

"I am always your Beta"

"For always"

Xx~xx~xX

"Did he tell you how I had to seduce him" she asks, peering at me from her shades.

"No… not really" I murmur. "I really don't want to be here…"

"Leah…" she said her voice shaky. "Stay, we need you"

"Right"

"You hate me still?" she asked, prodding a leather bag experimentally in the little Boutique store we are in.

"I am just going to be frank kid" I sigh. "I hate your family…"

"Especially my mother"  
>"this is nothing you don't already know"<p>

"Does it hurt you to see us married and expecting?" she asks, taking her shades off and watching my face with a sick narcissistic fascination-her little evil vampire personality filtering through her humanity.

"It hurts me to know the baby is going to be _fucked up_ either way" I smile watching the pain flash over her dark brown eyes. She does this every time, tries to play a game she doesn't get… I was a bitch first, sweet Nessie.

She tries to do it-be the bitch-but her large doll like eyes give her away. Those little lips and stupid dimples… they give her away every time.

A side effect of being spoilt by fashion crazed self absorbed vampires makes her want to make sure every one is watching and envious. The Jacob incident-the booby incident-it came after I made him _feel _outside their imprint. I wasn't trying to steal him; I wasn't even contemplating it… that ship had sailed when she had been born… but the emotions- they always resurface. They always make it hard to be around him for too long unless I succumb and just… fall.

"Right" she says dryly, putting her shades back on. "We are going back to the house…"

"Okay then…"

**AUTHORS NOTE-I am well aware that the first chapter contradicts a few things and I will fix that-in the first chapter.**

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW ON THIS IF YOU ARE READING-IT REALLY HELPS TO KNOW WHAT THE READER IS THINKING.**

**Nessie and Jacob are married. Everyone is aware of that. The pregnancy is a secret though.**

**Nessie and Leah's friendship is tricky. They fight and hate each other at times because they both care for Jacob. But at the same time this is what brings them together. This is not going to be a documentary of Nessie's pregnancy but rather:**

**A look at Leah's own challenges with a similar imprint to the one Jacob had (which is having difficulties erasing the fact that he practically brought up Nessie and suddenly they have to be romantic partners). Incest and child grooming tones-Jacob wouldn't sit well with such emotions.**

**Renesme's _specialness_ being her weakness. How to act like an adult when you are ten years old with a body full of hormones for your adult werewolf Brother/Uncle/Best Friend/ Husband/Mother's ex-Love. And have a baby…**

**Jacob dealing with it all-getting over his own hang-ups of the imprint. Being a dad, a husband…**

**And as is customary, there will be adventure time.**


	3. The Universe's Redemption

There are things the universe does not offer us out of pure sadistic cruelty.

"Do you want to feel the baby kicking…?" Renesme asks me, lounged on the chaise by the picture window. We are living in a large cottage in some wine country, the place is rented out from some old French couple… the area large, the trees plentiful and the peace floating around us like a warm blanket.

"No…" I mutter. "I don't…"

"Leah…" she whines, rubbing her not so prominent bulge tenderly. "She wants you to rub her…"  
>"No she doesn't…" I snap and rise from my chair, throwing the book on Botany to the side and standing in front of the giant window.<p>

Jacob is in the garden, lying flat on his back, his eyes shut tight and mouth a hard line. He looks dead… he looks like he is pretending he is dead…

"Your husband needs your attention" I murmur, watching hypnotized as Jacob lets the sprinkler rotate and sprinkle his exposed upper torso. "He needs your attention… only your attention, Renesme"  
>"You deal with him better" she snaps. "He is being unreasonable"<p>

"He is concerned… you have to tell your parents" I murmur. "They must be going out of their minds… how long do you think it will be before they go all 'Vampire Tracker' on you…"

"Leah… stop" she bubbled, wiping her moist eyes delicately. "I don't want to argue with you… not you, please"

"Okay fine" I sigh. "Fine… we'll do it your way but you have to be good to him, Nessie".

"Okay… I will talk to him"

Xx~xx~xX

The pregnancy moves slow… all most human like but with _less _complications. With each day that goes by, Jacob changes.

He is withdrawn although he will appear at Renesme's side with a word of encouragement, a gentle nudge of affection and a hand to help her move although her durable body is more that capable of housing what could only be a more human child.

He loves her, I see it… I can imagine it easily without the imprint, I have told her so and she beamed for an hour straight. What I didn't tell her was that, without the imprint… he would love her but not be her lover. I see it now, how he touches her… looks at her.

He lacks what Sam had for Emily. Those starry eyes that made you want to hurl. He lacks that intense lust Paul had for Jacob's sister, that made you hot and bothered inappropriately from watching him watch her. He lacks… he lacks a lot of things. But the love he has for her is different from all of them.

He knows her. He speaks her _language_ and he knows how to care for her outside of her half-vampire status. This is supernatural, this is unique… that is his love but for Renesme it will never be enough and as long as she is his imprint… he will have to conquer the invisible barriers formed around his heart and cock and brave the unknown.

Xx~xx~xX

"Clearwater" Jacob sighs. "You are different"

"Whatever"

"No, its not _whatever_" he says softly. "I… you seem happy"

"You don't want me happy?" I ask him.

"I just never thought I could bring that to you" he murmurs, snagging a vine from the grapes and slowing down his walking. The sun is out, a cool type of heat falling over our backs and the air is thick with the smell of grapes and moist earth. This is paradise, we are in paradise but it won't last forever…

"I did" I whisper and he looks at me with wide eyes; wondering how I could dare to speak of feelings everyone already knew about. Feelings that had passed anyway. "I thought once… you could bring me happiness"  
>"And I have…" he whispers back. "I have made you happy"<br>"You have made yourself miserable at the same time" I sigh.

"I am not miserable" he murmurs. "Just… confused… and not about you-you will always be my Beta"

"Always" I laugh uneasily. "Always your Beta"

Xx~xx~xX

"What is it like hurting?" she whispers to me, turning her head around carefully to check for nonexistent eavesdroppers, her bronze curled hair fanning and bouncing with the simple motion.

Did I ever think I would get to this point? Did I ever envision myself sprawled in Jacob Black's house, feeling the warmth of a fire and the softness of a woolly rug? Yeah, sure… I envisioned that… and here I am in that dream and yet it isn't the right role.

It's Jacob Black's house-but he is Renesme Cullen's.

The very fact that I am sprawled and relaxed by the fire-without the urge to fling some cinders on to her-is a feat the old me would have been dumbfounded by. The very fact that I allow her freely to lean against me, her cooler skin making contact with my own without any revulsion… is a miracle working independently.

The very fact that she and I are what you would call _friends_ is an impossibility playing out in real time.

She is pregnant with Jacob's child and I couldn't be happier for them. Not a single dollop of jealousy fills my soul because-as we lounge on the floor eating jelly beans and laughing freely-the fact that it was I she told first and I whom she requested for… makes me feel like I found a hidden purpose in the world.

She is too young to be a mother. She is ten years old, in the body of an eighteen year old, with the mind of a fully matured Einstein but her soul remains that of a _ten year old._ She had cried and confessed the fact; admitted to luring Jacob into her bed, twisting the imprint to her lust because her hormone fuelled eighteen year old body corrupted her logical Einstein mind and thoroughly traumatised her ten year old soul.

Where are Bella and dear sparkling Edward? Somewhere… we don't really worry about them. She doesn't want the attention, she doesn't want all supernatural eyes on her… she is glad Alice is blind to this… she is glad her father is too far to read her mind and know of the child growing in her. She just wants to be free.

Free of their suffocating love and slight obsession.

"Hurting…" I murmur, popping a random sweet from the candy bowl into my mouth and chewing thoughtfully. "Is life's way of letting you know you are alive"  
>"Hmmm" she murmurs nodding her head like she knows a single thing about pain or hurting.<p>

"It can be addictive… you get so used to having it that when it is gone, you subconsciously go searching for it again" I finish adding "Hurting to know you are alive"

"Why do you think you don't hurt now…?" she asks, leaning back on her hands, her round stomach prominent and brown eyes dark. "Why do you think now is the decided moment that you have healed and through this…"  
>She fans a pale hand over the length of her torso and smiles a little.<p>

"I…"I murmur, looking at her stomach and envying the feeling of producing life but the initial envy is outweighed by my excitement for the unborn child.

"Hmmm" she hums softly, rubbing her belly. "She likes your voice Leah; she kicks so much when she hears you…"

"You can't know that" I say softly, watching Nessie's face enthralled.

"But I do" she laughs. "Because I like your voice too"

"When will you tell them?" I ask her and the smile vanishes.

"Well, _after_ I guess" she says, frowning a little. "You do understand that I don't want a whole birthing brigade… I don't want to be overwhelmed."

"They are so good at overwhelming" she finishes in a drawn out tone. "I think I'll pop any day now… not the longest pregnancy but it was much safer than Bella"  
>I frown when she says Isabella's name and roll my eyes. She just smiles apologetically. She can't help it, she is her mother.<p>

"Jacob and I were wondering" she whispers conspiratorially "If you would… be godmother?"  
>"Uh, Nessie…"I say uncomfortably. "Why not wait till <em>everyone <em>knows the position of Godmother is available…"  
>"It's only available to<em> you<em>…."  
>"I don't plan on living forever…" I grumble.<p>

"We aren't even sure if _she_ will live _forever_" she says a little sadly.

"You keep saying 'she'" I mutter.

"I don't know" Renesme chuckles. "A baby girl with Jacob's eyes and smile… what a stunner!"  
>"Yes" I coo, rubbing her belly and feeling the little nudges "You're going to be quite the beauty!"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

I never wanted to live forever, it held no appeal for me and the very fact that I never got hold of my temper to stop phasing long enough felt like a curse. But I think about it sometimes… if I had managed to cool the She-Wolf and halt the phasing… I would have missed out on the greatest gift ever given to me. The universe redeeming its unlawful sadism on my life…

I would have missed out on imprinting on baby Charles Edward Black and having him imprint on me too.

**AUTHORS NOTE: Okay, these first chapters were like an introduction to Leah's imprint history. The story itself won't focus on her alone but Renesme, Leah and Charles. Review please… reason why this took a while to continue is lack of response. It is great to know that people are reading, helps to find inspiration to write-when you let me know you enjoyed or have a suggestion.**

**Xx tj.**


	4. Little Charles

"Charles"

"I don't want to..."

"Please" Jacob pleaded. "You have to take your medicine"

"I don't have to take it _now" _Charles whined, pressing the pillow harder over his head.

"Charles... do you want your asthma to start acting up?" Jacob asked exasperated.

He lay still in his little bed, his tiny form wrapped up in the cocoon of his blue Superman blanket, the orange lampshade casting tiny starry shadows around the dim room. The room was too large for Charles small frame for the age of six but the Cullen unit was never known for being subtle with their love. A large picture window lay on the east wall with the Superman symbol plastered all over its remaining expanse, his carpet was a soft velvety beige colour and his work unit a blue.

He was all about Superman, Jacob thought.

It wasn't about Werewolves and Vampires with Charles. It would never be about that for his little boy because his little boy was human and _weaker_ than human. His little boy had a variety of ailments, his little boy was skinny with startling large eyes-large green eyes that no one had known where he had gotten them from until the day they set foot in the Denali Clan household with him bundled up to meet his grandparents. He had Edward's human eyes set in wide bunny like shape and thick Quileute type eyelashes and eyebrows. It was Carlisle who had murmured it, revealed it.

Their little baby boy struggling with his unique genetic makeup.

"Baby please" Renesme whispered sitting on the edge of his bed, prying the pillow carefully from his hands. "Take your medicine for mummy?"

"No!" he shouted, a feeble fleeting sound followed by a rough coughing fit.

"What about for your Aunty Leah?" she murmured and he flung the pillow over, turning around to stare at her, a small smile tugging his lips and his large disarming eyes wide and rimmed with redness.

"Will she come?" he asked followed by a phlegm filled cough. "Will you call her to come?"

"Surprise Superman" Leah sighed walking through the door, her hands shoved in her jean pockets.

The two parents watched dazed as that monumental aura passed between their son and their dearest oldest friend. She stood between the door frame of Charles room, the light from the passage shining behind her and casting a sacred glow about her and her face a conveying a nervous love, a strong love, a _shattering love_. They watched as Charles crawled in the middle of his bed, blankets pooling around his small form, his eyes trained on her-on his Aunty Leah-in wide wonder and confused need and forgetting the two frustrated adults who had been heckling him about horrendous medicine.

Jacob quickly put the spoon in Charles mouth while Charles stared at Leah who laughed at his dumbfounded expression. She didn't understand why he was always surprised when she appeared when he needed her, wanted her... He grimaced at the taste of the medicine and then grinned goofily at her. Such a Jacob grin perfected on his face. A grin especially for her...

"You going to go to LaLa land now, Clark Kent?" Leah asked him and he yawned widely, revealing tiny teeth with the exception of two bottom teeth missing.

"Yeth, Ms Lane" he smiled, allowing his frowning father to tuck him in-his eyes still on her. She would leave the moment they shut tight.

"You are a lifesaver" Renesme sighed. "He can be most stubborn... like his father"

"Still awake!" Charles yelled sleepily. "I can... hear..."

"Out cold" Jacob mumbled, tightening the lid of the bottle of medicine. "We need to take him to Carlisle early tomorrow morning"

"Another day of school missed?" Renesme asked.

"We have to" Jacob sighed. "He hasn't put on any weight in two months"

Xx~xx~xX

Charles didn't know about vampires and werewolves.

They decided he was too young. They decided he was too human. They decided he was not immortal. She decided he was going to be a lovely man with a lovely home one day. Leah decided... and they understood.

There was enough to worry about. He was ill, he was on the verge of leaving them numerous times, he was on the verge of giving up but it was always Leah who brought him back. He was too young and fragile to deal with the likes of Aro... he was too young but there it was. He was part of the supernatural world whether he could run as fast as a bullet or turn into a giant wolf. The only thing saving him was his pitiful frailty...

His hair might have had the slight Quileute texture in its blackness, his eyebrows bushy in their Native American way but the shape, face rounded slightly with a seriousness that contradicted his sunshine nature and the very abundance of all these features was all courtesy of _Edward Cullen._ All the way down to the eyes... He looked like Edward-not in a Renesme way either that would have been tainted by Bella. It had bugged Jacob for a while, much to Edward's amusement.

It was when he smiled that Jacob came out. When he smiled one knew he was capable of exponential love. When he smiled at Leah one felt the supernatural bond...

Charles thought his Grandpa Edward was Superman when he had somehow (something so strange they discussed it time to time) managed to _climb_ up the stairs _unheard _in a house full of super powered beings with indescribable hearing. Climbed up and opened a window... and fell.

Unheard except for his thoughts.

Saved because of his thoughts.

Xx~xx~xX

"Aunt Leah…" he wheezed rubbing his little nose violently. "Leee ah"  
>"Charles?"<p>

"I don't want to have check up" he groaned, dropping his head back theatrically and watching her face closely. She was staring out the window of the car, watching the trees fly by.

"Nor do I" she sighed. "I don't want you to ever have a check up again"

"Then let's…"

"No" Edward stated not bothering to turn his head to look at Charles.

He prodded Leah's side conspiratorially, making sure his grandpa and dad were concentrated on the road before them in the front of the car. He nudged Leah and pinched her till she gave in and looked at him. With his little index finger, he motioned for her to come closer. She grinned and lowered her head.

"I swear he reads minds" Charles whispered in her ear and they giggled the remainder of their journey, with a smiling Edward pretending not to have heard.

Xx~xx~xX

He doesn't like how cold Grandpa Carlisle's hands are. He doesn't like how cold everyone on his mama's side of the family is. It's nice at times when he is too hot and has a fever but most of the time it isn't. He is used to his dad's heat; he enjoys Leah's never ending lovely warmth…

"Stop squirming Charles" Carlisle sighed.

"Can't you put a jersey on?" Charles whined, catching Carlisle's finger in his small hand to stop it from brushing over his skin in a fiery frozen touch, his fingers wrapping over the cold index finger in mock-tightness, the alabaster colour contrasting interestingly with Charles golden tinged skin.

"A jersey…?" Carlisle asked frowning slightly.

"Yes Grandpa" Charles sighed shaking his head disappointedly. "The way you are so cold, you are going to catch a sickness like me"

Xx~xx~xX

He doesn't wonder why some things happen.

It is normal to him when Uncle Emmett appears suddenly in the middle of the room, disappears in the same instance and then reappears with a slice of cake for him. He is sick and that's why he can't do all the other things everyone else does…

Everyone in his Mama's house gets to have their eye colour change and when they turn black-people get cranky and don't really want him to be around. That's okay, he spends the day with his daddy and Leah, if Mama isn't running around somewhere doing something.

He likes the Black house too. He likes his ancient Grandpa Billy and thinks he is funny when he is with Grandpa Charlie. He likes Sue, Leah's mum and how she says he is the reason Leah stays in their sights. He likes Sam… but Leah pretends not to like him. He loves his Uncle Seth and how warm he is and that he is like Superman with his muscles and never wears a shirt.

They never stay too long in Washington and even when they are there it is all 'Top Secret'.

Its okay, being sick…

Its okay not zooming around to get a slice of cake, or having muscles….

He has Leah and no one else does.

Suckers.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Not really going to explain each chapter as I go along… the past chapters started in the midst of things and I had no intention of documenting Jacob and Renesme's get together because really it was implied all the way back to Breaking Dawn. They imprinted, they will be together whether they like it or not, right.**

**If you don't understand uhm…, state what EXACTLY is confusing you. If I understand your ailment, I can treat it better.**

**Remember to review. Till next time… tj**


	5. Growing Pains

"…And…" he stammered, stirring his cereal messily, milk splashing out of the bowl with little care, right onto the table and pooling below the green bowl "He didn't choose me!"

"Come on now, Charles" Jake sighed. "You don't even like basketball"  
>"That… that…"<br>"Slowly" I whispered to him and he smiled his small smile before taking in a breath and continuing.

"That isn't the point, _Dad_" he stated, rolling his eyes. "I am supposed to be his best friend… he was supposed to choose me first….!"

"He is a _bugger_" I growled and Charles giggled.

"A filthy little…" he began and Renesme cleared her throat in warning, while Jake tried to pretend he was not entertained.

"He didn't choose because I am small" Charles murmured after a pause, in a small detached voice. "He didn't choose me because… I am weak"

"He is an idiot" he finished, concentrating on his cereal and ignoring Renesme's indignant scoff and I ignored her pointed look on the subject of his way of talking "Wait till Maths Homework rears its head at the end of the week… we'll see who is weak and small then…"

Xx~xx~xX

He is small, by all accounts. He is to thin for his age, his hair limp and unlively and skin rough and dry in its golden russet tone. His hair was about the closest thing Charles was ever going to get to supernatural aside from his array of venom-clashing-with-wolf-genes illnesses.

It was supposed to be dark. At its lightest his hair should've been ebony night but no… in some weirdness, it shone in russet hues through the blackness, like a flames dancing in the night. It shone in tones that were exactly the same colour as his father's fur…

It was a very human mess on his head-a very human version of Edward's disorganised hair but instead it flopped and lacked body and gave him a perpetual untidy look. He doesn't care; why should he-he has the most beautiful people on the planet letting him know he is the most precious gift to ever be had.

He doesn't care because he has me-and I never allow his illnesses to turn him into self-pitying easily satisfied with life human. If everyday is a battle, he had to have his armour on all the time.

Xx~xx~xX

**Five years Later**

"I was wondering Leah" Charles said slowly, raking the leaves with little interest and botching up his chore in the process.

"Could you do that properly or else you aren't going to have enough money to go for movies with your friends" I sighed, flipping the magazine and eyeing him under my sunglasses.

"Oh" he grumbled, pulling his sun hat tighter over his head, placing the rake against he tree and pulling his loose pants up.

He had gotten surprisingly tall after a very short period of time; he still wasn't any wolf child but at least the wasn't the shortest in his year anymore. The height however gave his already thin frame at the age of twelve a now sickly look and coupled with his green eyes-he was in for a terrible awkward teen life…

"I was saying…"  
>"Tie the string so your pants don't keep falling, Legolas" I muttered "No one is interested in your Superman underwear"<p>

"Argh" he huffed, tying the string and pouting-making him look eerily like Renesme.

"You were saying, Elf?" I laughed.

"I do not look like Legolas" he grumbled, grabbing the rake petulantly from the tree and raking the leaves with new found irritated energy "Legolas has blonde hair"  
>"Technicality" I smiled.<p>

"Anyway…" he rolled his eyes. "I was wondering something… and please… don't say I am over thinking or..."  
>"Spit it out" I sighed, placing the magazine on the side table and removing the shades. "The sun is going down…"<br>"Uh… yeah…" he murmured, sweeping the orange coloured dry leaves into a pile. "It's about… well, Grandpa…"  
>"Which one…" I asked.<p>

"Well… its about Grandpa Charlie" he said slowly, reaching for his large bin bag and stuffing the leaves in with effort-in twenty minutes he would need his inhaler.

"Oh, are you worried about him now that Billy passed?" I asked quietly.

"Kind of" he breathed, pausing his working and watching me-unnerving me with dark green eyes in the fading light and pinched Edward-like face. He seemed too mature in this instant, his face so serious.

"Leah" he said carefully. "Sometimes it's like Grandpa Charlie is scared of… well, not really scared but not comfortable with like… _us._ He never visits outside of Forks…"

"No" I murmured. "He is comfortable… just spit out, it's about _Sue_"  
>"Well… yeah, she is more uncomfortable than he is" he said "But that is not to say she doesn't <em>love<em> us"

"No, it's not to say…" I whispered. "Are you done... The temperature is going to drop and you need to clean your room still"  
>"Why do you think you are the boss of me" he growled, swinging the lumpy bin bag over his shoulders and stomping to the bins.<p>

"Cause I am" I laughed.

"No you are not!" he huffed. "This is a _partnership_"

Xx~xx~xX

"He is starting to notice…" Renesme whispered, her large brown eyes trained on Jacobs face.

"No, he has always noticed" I sighed. "He is starting to ask questions now that he understands what a proper human life looks like"  
>"We give him a proper human life!" Renesme squealed and Jake put an arm around her.<p>

"You give him this visage" I said tensely. "You are never home… when you are here, its all smiles. You think he doesn't notice that?"  
>"We are dealing…" she tried but Jacob shushed her.<p>

"I understand Leah" he whispered.

"Of course you do!" Renesme shouted. "You get to see him through her eyes! All I get is his concise answers to my every question on his well being…!"  
>"Nessie…" Jake pleaded.<p>

"When last have you _touched_ me?" she hissed and Jacob went rigid. "You going to give a concise answer to that!"

"I have to… go" I whispered but they didn't hear me, already pushing to the front of the house and away from the stairway leading upstairs to the bedrooms. Away from Charles.

I left quietly, making sure he was in bed and not trying to be smart about listening to his parents issues. He was in bed, fast asleep and _wondering things…_

Xx~xx~xX

No one ever really knew the torturous side of an imprint back in the tribe. They had had it easy; imprinting on the 'obvious choice'. They had had it easy; imprinting on someone wherein the whole tribe gave you their full support.

Renesme and Jacob didn't have that. People had 'accepted' their imprint instead of 'being happy' for it. He still had the queasy feeling when he though of her as the mother of his child, when he thought of her as his wife… he got the queasy feeling.

She tried to act like she didn't but I knew. She had too many thoughts running around in her little head, thinking that he had loved her mother-never able to get over that-and thinking that he had seen her birthed, thinking that he had never been allowed to grow up.

They thought too much and sometimes Charles got lost in the mix. They over thought his mortality and gave him a human life with no talk of vampires and werewolves but that could never work when his best friend was a werewolf, when his father was a werewolf and his mother a vampire-sort of being.

It was only a matter of time… and this emergence of Nahuel's name was not helping them deal with things. Why the fuck did she have to go to South America when she needed a 'Break'.

Xx~xx~xX

"Argh…" Rosalie frowned, pulling the soap tray for the washing machine out. "This is filthy"

"It just seems that way because you have microscopic lenses for eyes" I grumbled, arranging Charles clothes carefully.

"You need to clean this dump" she hissed at me. "I can't have my nephew…"

"Your nephew is not a spoilt pompous half-breed" I muttered, folding the clothes into the clothes basket. "He can take care of himself"  
>"So you as his imprint have decided not to care for him?" she laughed. "I knew it was too freaky"<p>

"I as his imprint care for him to the point that I will have him able to care for himself too" I sighed. "Rosalie… he isn't a weak floating piece of paper because he is human…"  
>"He has asthma" she said softly. "He is… even weaker…"<br>"No, he is not" I snapped. "You keep comparing him to Renesme who could lift up pianos and tackle wild lions"  
>"Maybe…" she sighed, sitting down in the chair. "I just feel… with what is happening with Renesme and Jacob and how they keep him away from us for so long… I feel so <em>protective<em> and _left out_."

"Yeah"  
>"I wanted her to be with Nahuel" she whispered, peering up at me with golden sad eyes. "How evil… and now it seems…"<br>"They will have to deal" I sighed. "They are adults and have a child. I may be his… he may be my imprint but they can't just shirk of their responsibilities to chase each other around the globe…"

"Thank you Leah" she whispered.

"For what?" I grinned.

"For being here for him" Rosalie murmured and I was sure she was doing the vampire dry-crying thing. "For imprinting on him"

Xx~xx~xX

How do you tell someone they are _loved_ beyond their comprehension? How do you tell someone they are _wanted_ beyond any value they have put on themselves? You don't… you just do it, you just show them…

His friends ditched him at the movies-they were never really his friends and he never really manages to get any. He doesn't say a word, he doesn't smile or frown or get angry. He just sits next to me, eating popcorn in silence and we watch Iron Man with little thought on the two missing parents in his life.

His green eyes are terrifying me with each day, the level of too mature understanding swimming in them, the way they turn from bright vibrant green to dark dusky nighttime emerald. I haven't seen Jacob in him in a while-he doesn't smile his sunshine inducing grin. His voice is becoming clinical and his intelligence is hidden behind video games and snorting jokes.

There is nothing wrong with Charles. He is perfection. However…

There is something wrong with the days we are living in, there is something wrong with the man who stands at the corner of our street at five pm every Friday and the odd little gadgets we find sprinkled in random places in the house.

This is our world, the world we live in and it's just us.


	6. The Beginning

"Argh…."

"Breathe Charles" I cry, rubbing his back furiously, his body propped back on my arm as the cold water swirls around his heated body, the bath almost filled to the brim.

"Leah…" he rasps "I didn't mean to…"

"No, I know sweetie" I murmur, stroking his head, watching pained as he tries to pry his eyes open, green spectres visible momentarily before his eyelids crash back down.

"I don't know what happened" he says softly, his heart rate decreasing, the exhaustion weighing over him, he would be asleep soon.

"It's going to be okay…" I whisper. "You are going to be okay…"  
>"Don't leave me Leah" he whispers "Don't leave me ever…"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

The dining room is a war zone.

The table is broken in half, glass fragments litter the hard wood in reflective crystals, the flowers I had picked from the garden-petunias-crunch softly beneath my feet. I almost thought he had phased, when I heard the noise-I thought I would find a giant wolf in the middle of the room, growling and howling in confusion.

I listened as he answered the telephone, heard his terse responses to his mothers questions and statements and when he had asked if she would be coming for his thirteenth birthday-when he had asked her in his soft voice, expecting disappointment anyway-and she had said no, I heard the stammer in his voice. But it was the last question, the question I had seen playing in his eyes lately…

"Are you with Dad?" he had asked.

"No" she had said. "I am not… he and I… we are not, I can't be with him but I love him"

"Okay" he whispered and then asked "Are you with another man?"  
>"Yes"<p>

He cut the phone. He cut the phone then, he breathed in carefully but his heart gave him away. Staccato beats fast and furious. He knew without knowing of the imprint how much his father-Jacob-needed Renesme. He knew then why his father had needed to return to La Push after Renesme had to extend her 'business trip'…

And when the crashing and roaring had begun, when I had rushed down he stairs to fast ad expected to find what we had feared since he turned thirteen-I had found him curled in the middle of destruction, curled in pain and clutching his chest.

He broke the dining table. I don't know how but he broke it.

Xx~xx~xX

"I'll get you a new…" he said shyly, watching me nervously as I prepared his breakfast.

"No, there are enough vases in this house" I sigh. "Eat up"  
>"I broke the dining room table didn't I?"<p>

"Yeah, you did" I whisper watching as he pokes his sausages around in his plate.

"You know they call me a freak at school" he murmurs not looking up at me. "I haven't even been there a month and I have filled the spot of 'resident freak'"

"You are no freak, freak" I sigh, messing his too long hair up. "I was thinking…"  
>"Its always good to be <em>thinking<em>, Leah" he smiles, crooked grin in place and green eyes twinkling mischievously

"Don't be smart with me, Einstein" I huff. "I was thinking we could go visit the Cullen Clan"

"Hmm" he murmured, eyes back on his breakfast, still not deciding whether he would eat the sausage or potato wedges first.

"I had a different thought" he said softly. "How about you and I go and visit my old man?"  
>"In La Push?" I asked dumbly.<p>

"That's were he is Clearwater" he smiled. "Besides, all these strange men following us around… I need a break from them"  
>"Hmm" I murmured sipping my coffee. "There was times were I wouldn't have minded strange men following me about"<br>"I bet there was!" he scoffed, his mouth full of potatoes.

Xx~xx~xX

The trip is long. We have to go on a round about way, unnecessary but crucial to remaining anonymous to our destination. We haven't told Renesme and Jacob about our paranoia or the humans… it wasn't a problem we couldn't handle at first but now, after he broke the sturdy mahogany dining table with what I can only assume to be his bare hands… now I have to say something.

Now, he may find out how crazy-protective the Cullen's really are. He may find out that just because they don't pop in on us every five seconds doesn't mean they are not there. Same with the few wolves that remain… same with Jacob, maybe his son's safety will wake him from the depression off his fucked up imprint. I gave him time, I gave them time and now… they had to deal.

He is staring out the window of the train, brow creased and eyes distant and I feel uneasy. I would have preferred he badgered me about the dining room incident, I would have preferred he asked me why I had gone out in the woods late one evening-ran into the woods-and came back naked. He doesn't ask anything, just watches with his disarming eyes and nods to whatever answer I give him.

Xx~xx~xX

"You okay Dad?" Charles murmurs, touching Jake's arm. "Can I get you anything?"  
>"A beer"<p>

"You have had too many" Charles sighs, picking up an empty bottle from a crowd of beer bottles.

"A wolf can never have too many" Jake says abruptly and Charles freezes his inspection of the bottle-tilting the bottle in the sunlight-his expression going rigid and eyes wide. He puts the bottle down without another word and disappears into the kitchen.

"What happened?" I ask Jake-trying to suppress the uneasy feeling in my stomach, listening intently as the refrigerator door opens and Charles opens the bottle.

"She is with Nahuel" he whispers, his eyes staring at the television set. "She is with him and I am here"

"Okay…" I murmur, holding his hand carefully in my own. "Jake…"

"Leah" he says, rolling his eyes slowly over to my crouched form at the foot of his chair. "I want to be were my son is, I am done chasing her around-trying to understand this imprint and understand what she needs of me. If she needs Nahuel then I accept"  
>"You accept" I reiterate wondering when he had aged, looking exactly like he should be Charles father.<p>

"I accept" he whispers. "All her 'I need a breaks' and 'Give me space' are wearing thin… She was eight when we married. What the fuck did she know?"

"Mum was eight?" Charles asks waltzing in and startling both Jake and I.

"You heard wrong kid" I laugh and he eyes me carefully before surveying Jake.

"Dad?"

"You heard wrong" Jake says monotonously. "Hand me my beer please…"

He hands him the beer quietly, shoving his hands in his hoody, giving us one last reproachful look before disappearing out the door with a 'I am heading to First Beach'.

Xx~xx~xX

"It's the Volturi" he sighs. "Who else could it be… they sent an invitation to us, to have a 'dinner' with Nessie and I and our new baby years ago… turned it down, of course"  
>"Of course" I say, watching him gobble his dinner-two boxes of large pizza's.<p>

"Edward says it's not anything serious yet" Jake sighs, offering me greasy slice and shrugging when I refuse it. "They want to make sure he is human"  
>"He is human" I say quickly, pushing the image of the broken diner table out of my mind.<p>

"Hmm" Jake sighs. "Well, anyway… his birthday is coming up and I was talking with Esme-I think he should spend the remainder of the year with them, with us…"  
>"The Volturi are apparently not a threat even though they are sending human spies…" I say watching him through narrowed eyes "And now you want us to move in with the Cullens?"<br>"Why do you have to be so sharp" he sighs, leaning back on the chair.

"That's my job, Alpha" I smile softly. "So they aren't a threat but precautions…?"  
>"Precautions" he whispers. "And… Nessie asked me too"<br>"Hmm"  
>"Leah…" he heaves, grabbing my hand and imploring me to look at him "I know you don't get Nessie and her distance…"<br>"You mean fucked up mothering skills?" I snap.

"She was too young emotionally" he whispers.

"He isn't immortal" I hiss. "She doesn't have eternity to bridge their gap… do you know she told him she was with another man…"  
>"No" he frowns.<p>

"He doesn't say her name, or call her directly-its 'Mother'" I sigh. "It's 'I received a call from Mother'"

"She is his mother"

"It's the way he says it Jake!" I stress. "He is growing… he is maturing much faster than you think, and he needs normality"  
>"That's why we will go stay with the Cullen's" he says.<p>

"Normality in a house full of vampires?" I ask and he closes his eyes in frustration.

"I know he is your imprint but you can't have him all to yourself Leah" he says in one controlled breathe. "I need him, he needs me and goddamit he isn't immortal and I have only now"  
>"Fine" I snap. "We go to the Cullen's… and then when he starts seeing strange things like, I don't know… how no one goes to sleep, how Grandpa Carlisle is eternally gorgeous and Uncle Jazz is constantly going for long walks… strange eye colours…"<br>"We'll cross that bridge when we get there" Jake says softly "We are all family, Leah… all of us"

"You don't understand" I growl. "There is more to all of this than just men following us, following him, Nahuel and Nessie… I can't explain it, I just feel like something is coming up Jake… I need him to be safe and under the radar. He wont be under the radar living with the Cullen's…"  
>"I understand" he sighs.<p>

"Do you?"

"Yes…" he looks me in the eye, and I see the heartbreak, unrecoverable and etched all over him. "A few days and we can sort out something you will feel comfortable with; that he will feel comfortable with"

"Right" I sigh.

"Clearwater" he sighs. "Sometimes I think you are a blessing to my life"  
>"That's cause I am, Black" I huff, grabbing the last piece of Pizza from him and stuffing my face.<p>

**AUTHORS NOTE: REMEMBER TO REVIEW, THOUGHTS DISLIKES, LOVE.. ALL WELCOME.**

**I want to reach Charles to a certain age, then might shift to his point of view.**

**If you are reading Avatar: a day in the life of Zuko-the next chapter is about two thirds complete.**

**Xx tj**


	7. The Last Day

This is living, this is breathing and this is life…

"Charles" she whines, sitting turned in her seat in front of me. I am trying hard to ignore her, letting my hair fall over my face and hide her from my vision but she is adamant. This would be her third 'Charles' if I prolong this…

"Charles, come on…" she groans, rolling her eyes and her friend seated besides her snickers abruptly. "Don't be such a dickhead…"

"Leave me alone" I drawl-pausing my writing momentarily to glare at her. Her eyes go wide when they meet mine, her breathing halts momentarily before a pompous scowl graces her face.

"I just want to know…" she murmurs low and venomous "If it is true that your sister… has been in jail"

"She is not my sister…" I sigh, doodling circles next to my little philosophical angsty poem.

"Whatever…" Abigail snaps. "She was in jail right…"

"Whatever" I sigh grating her with my professionally conducted evasion. "Whatever makes your life more bearable… if my 'sister' being in 'jail' helps keep things interesting then… lets go with that"  
>"You're a weird hot mess, you know that?" she hissed, the rest of her cussing droned out by the bell.<p>

"I know" I murmur, collecting my stationery and leaving Abigail and her gossip partner to giggle and glare at my indifferent form walking away. "Believe me… I know"

Xx~xx~xX

This would be my last day at this God-Forsaken school. This would be the last day they had me as the subject of their mystery induced gossip and pathetic creepy list. This would be the last day it would be just Leah and I… everything was going to change.

The lawns are parched-a sad yellow colour gracing the front of each house I pass, cars coated in a thin sheet of dust and the sun bearing down hard on my head. It's hot, unbelievably searing hot and I wouldn't have it any other way. There is no one outside, there are no people staring suspiciously at my awkward skinny dishevelled form looming through their perimeters. And more importantly there is no one from my school with a ready comment or brutal shove waiting at the corner before I reach home.

There are a lot of things I don't have a say in-never directly anyway-and moving to Alaska was one of them. Moving to a family I hadn't really seen in years for whatever reason, moving for a more permanent time period and moving with my _Dad_ to stay with my _Mom's _family. There are all kinds of strange coating this little development-and I am used to odd developments with Leah-but this one, it makes my skin hot and my mind cloud over.

Leah and I being alone is easy and uncomplicated. She never lies but she never says the truth; ask no questions hear no lies in the single rule between us. She never wants to lie to me and I never want to put her in that position and because it is _Leah_… there has to be a good reason for things being the way they are.

Because it is _Leah;_ I wont let it be known that I have dreams of giant wolves, that when I get angry my senses go into over drive and I hear, feel and taste the air like it has increased exponentially to my reality. I wont ask why she always insists the houses we live in be near woodlands, why she kind-of-sort-of hates my Grandma Bella and blames her as the root to everything (I can't even ask what '_everything'_ entails), why she wants me to understand Mum's situation but on the flip side she gets terrifyingly angry every time Dad has his severe despairing depression episodes because of _said_ situation…

I keep it to myself because I don't want to hurt her and I know she is protecting me from it.

Protecting me from my fucked up sixteen year old life with the joy's of absent mother's and miserable alcoholic father's…

But it doesn't mean I am not on a mission to decipher it and this crappy move might be the biggest clue to all these non-answers and quiet-drama's…

Xx~xx~xX

"You are early" Leah murmurs, waltzing through the kitchen door-still buttoning her shirt and simultaneously trying to free her choppy hairs glory of leaves and twigs sticking out flamboyantly.

"Hmm" I mumble eyeing her carefully from behind my sandwich as she dances to my side, ruffling my hair easily from her height and making a bee line for the refrigerator.

"You're usually like…" she huffs, prodding things back and forth in the fridge and grumbling when she can't find the chocolate sauce-which is seated prominently on the table in front of me. "Maybe an hour late" 

An hour late due to fighting of neighbourhood rejects and defending my 'homeless look' and weird hair colour not to mention my super hot "aunt's" reputation…

"I didn't dillydally today" I sigh, waving the chocolate sauce in the air, watching mesmerized as her 'chocoholic grin' spreads on her face and constricts my throat, when she sees the bottle finally.

She hums excitedly while squeezing the gooey sugary spread on the bread.

"Don't you worry about diets and getting fat?" I murmur and she picks the bread up slow and deliberate while locking my eyes to hers, sauce spilling over and oozing down onto the counter-grinning evilly behind the bread before taking an exaggerated bite-sauce going over her lips and dribbling down her chin.

"What I worry about…" she mumbles with her mouth full of bread while chewing, talking and breathing simultaneously-before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and smearing brown all over "Is you talking like that"

"Talking like what?"

"I didn't _dillydally_ today" she mimic's me-hitching exaggeratedly were my voice croaks and splinters before smoothing over awkwardly and I blush, looking away from her and glaring at our crappy refrigerator.

"What's wrong with that" I grumble.

"You talk like Edward"

"Well…" I say carefully watching as she looks away-never intending on mentioning a 'Cullen' "That can't be right… I haven't seen Grandpa Edward…"

"Uh… cousin Edward" she squeaks-a quirk when she is sort-of-kind-of lying to me.

"Okay then…" I roll my eyes, remembering how a few years ago Grandpa Edward had become Uncle Edward… "I haven't seen _Cousin _Edward for me to be adopting anything remotely like him"  
>"Hmm" she mutters, preparing another two chocolate sandwiches and trying to rush our conversations ending.<p>

"Any other family relations that have suddenly change that I should know about?" I ask her dryly, picking my plate up and taking it to the sink-trying not to let the oddity of this subject get me worked up… I can't afford to be angry on such a hot day.

"I mean…" I breathe, grabbing the yellow sponge rather violently and pouring the dishwashing liquid on it and dipping it into the water "You are my aunt-sister-cousin-friend Leah…"

"No" she murmurs and I pause my controlled ranting-the edge in her voice prickling my heart. "I'm _your_ Leah…"

"Hmm" I murmur hiding my shaking hands in the soapy water. "And what am I… to you then?"

"My Charles" she laughs. "For always"  
>"You promise that wont change in Alaska?"<p>

"Not a single bit"  
>"Just one question" I sigh "Why haven't you packed anything…?"<p>

"Trust me kid…" she chuckles "There ain't a single square centimetre available for our junk in Alaska…"

"I thought we were living on our own" I say-hating when it comes out like a whiney cry.

"We are" she says stoically, leaning on the edge of the sink and folding her arms-a frown on her face "Sort of anyway, but Alice…"

"This would be my Aunt Alice or…"

"Your cousin Alice" she says sheepishly and I frown cynically at her, rinsing my dishes. "Well, anyway…. Alice has furnished our home and well… I think…we will be staying alone mostly but your parents…"  
>"Hell no"<p>

"What do you mean 'Hell No'" she growls her eyes flashing. "They are your parents…"  
>"I don't need…" I huff, wheeling around-trying to glare at her but stumbling backwards, my vision blurred and muscles twitching. "I don't…"<p>

"Cool it…" she whispers. "Calmly… you are allowed to be upset Charles just not _too_ upset, you'll be sick…"  
>"Yeah" I murmur hoarsely, holding my midriff and gulping the aching pain away. "Cool and calm…"<p>

"I get it" she says slowly-her hand hovering over me, anticipating a breakdown and causing me to will control over my shaking; I hated being this weak…"They suck… you know I am with you on that one and I have let them know it too, but they love you and you love them…"

"So…" I breathe "I get to do this traumatic move from this lovely weather…"

"You _know_ this hellhole weather sucks" she groans rolling her eyes "There are like three trees for me to… uhm, enjoy"

"Moving along from top-secret _forest walks_" I mumble and she blushes, causing me to blush "Uh… where was I…?"

"Weather change causes trauma" she grins.

"Hmm… traumatic weather change, random family that have more titles than a hillbilly house hold…" I ramble flailing my hands and grinning when she doubles over giggling.

"And now I have to deal with Renesme and Jacob Black's never ending string of lies and secrets?" I finish despondently.

"You are not going to deal with _anything_" she growls and I know that anger is directed entirely on the two absent parents. "You are going to go to high school and _finish…_"

"Was I never going to finish high school?" I ask her and she frowns at me.

"With the way you were going…" she says all authority-like, back to 'Aunt Leah' "When your report gets viewed in _that_ house… well, your 'poetic William Shakespeare writing days' will be long gone"

"Never"

"Never say never kid" she breathed.

"So this is really happening huh?"

"Yeah" she sighs. "It really is… but hey, at least you'll have me"  
>"Yeah… you're a regular Ms Brightside" I grin.<p>

"And no more creepy stalker men" she mutters.

"Now why would they stop stalking the Beautiful Leah Jonas just because she is going to Alaska" I ask her playfully-although I watch her every reaction carefully.

"They just _will_" she says coolly and I know that _there_ is the main reason I am being reunited with my mother's family instead of just schooling it on the Reservation in Forks.

"If they know what's good for them" she mutters as I leave the room.

Xx~xx~xX

I haven't seen a single Cullen in years-my mother doesn't count as she is a Black and I get to see her maybe once a month for a day and talk to her every weekend on the phone. They are the oddest bunch, the strangest family any one person can have…

I mean, fine… my dad's family can be loud and too _touchy_; Leah's mum is on a mission to get me into the Guinness World Record's for fattest kid one day and Uncle Seth… well, he hasn't changed at all-always up for a good time and as understanding as always about my silly little drama's. Sam-Leah says I don't have to call him Uncle "for shit"-looks at me funny and always slaps my back to hard and Emily is always asking me if I am okay like I have been released from a mental institution recently. But I get to see them always, I get to talk to them normal-like and they huff and puff and make everything seem normal when I speak to them on the phone. They complain about stuff, they whine that I am away for too long and Uncle Seth-well, recently he has asked to be referred to as 'Just Seth'-badgers Leah about all the name changing we do that makes us difficult to find when we move…

It's normal stuff with them-stuff I can compare to with other kid's minus how Uncle Seth walks about half naked or that Uncle Embry and my dad look alike (when I asked Leah about this she squinted her eyes, staring at them and finished with a "Now, why is it the kid with bad eye sight and asthma got to solve that problem us idiot Quileute's have been trying to decipher for donkey's years… oh, keep that to yourself Charles…") or how Leah hasn't got a single wrinkle on her face. Just normal weird stuff I can handle…

But with my mum… my chest tightens when I see her each time-more lovely and young than the last. Our hair is alike, we look alike but at the same time… we couldn't be more different. She couldn't be more different to any woman walking the streets… and after everything, _with_ everything… I feel like she needs me. She needs me and Dad but she is running from us because… _of something_… and it makes me love her and hate her more because she won't let us in…

The Cullen's have never let me in outside of their controlled phone calls and questions if I 'need anything'.

Leah and I have _never _needed anything. We have each other-she does her Environmental Work and Veterinary Work wherever we go, and it has never been the most paying of jobs but it's enough.

We will always be enough for each other…

**AUTHORS NOTE: this is going slow but steady. A very different writing style to what I normally do…**

**Not sure if I will be writing in Charles perspective but it might become crucial. Let me know if you found this comfortable in his perspective.**

**AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW.**


	8. Welcome to Alaska

**WELCOME TO ALASKA**

Change is good.

Whoever said that needs to get whacked with a hammer on the side of the head. The trees whiz by us, indistinguishable looming figures blurring in the darkness as she speeds over the lone road down to some unknown house in the Alaskan little town. We've been at this for three hours now; silence topped in nerves as Dad fills the quiet stressed void with his snoring from the back seat.

The sun had gone down suddenly after minutes on hours of gracing the skies for too long. The sky had been a momentary cold red burn before the navy had chased over it with sprinkles of stars and then the _trees_ had arrived. Leah had sighed almost in relief when the first batch of greenery sprung up on either side of the road, her eyes relaxing only slightly and showing that hidden secret of hers that I was beginning to fear I would never be introduced to.

I have a feeling the Cullen's sent money for plane tickets, I have a feeling they sent money for a new car but we are still in our rickety little van so of course the money is sitting in some account collecting dust and interest. I have had bout three months to prepare for this emotionally and mentally but I still feel like I am going to the front lines of some war in a desert foreign country.

"You are too quiet" Leah sighs.

"I am a quiet child" I murmur back, slouching further in the passenger seat.

"Yeah" she breathes "You are… but I mean…"  
>"What do you want me to say, Leah" I sigh.<p>

"That you are excited"

"I am excited" I mumble glaring at the shadows of trees flying by us. "Undoubtedly and entirely excited"

"Argh… my phone is ringing" she groaned, reaching for her oversized worn leather bag with one hand and peering over the steering wheel in frustration when it was too far for her to grab.

"No it's not…" I begin then sigh-when had I ever been right about anything involving sound, sight and smell with Leah and Dad "Okay, let me get it…"

She straightened up, smiling slightly while I manoeuvred around her legs for her bag. I could feel the insistent vibrations of her Motorola through it and the sound of Justin Bieber's irritating first hit song came fleeting through the leather in muffled drones when I raised the bag up and shook it slightly.

"Why do you have Justin Bieber as a ring tone?" I asked her frowning and she grinned.

"That would be your hillbilly relative Edward" she laughed and Dad half-snored and snorted from the back seat before propping himself up and attempting to squeeze in the little gap between Leah's driver's seat and my own. "He sticks in your head like that idiot song"

"You still got it Lee" he laughed groggily.

"Right" I grumbled-lost in translation at their decades of memories and 'good-times' as usual.

"You better not call him that-hillbilly Edward" Dad murmured-still laughing, rubbing his eyes violently. "I don't want to have to receive a lecture from his Spark-uhm, from Edward"

"Or think it…" Leah laughed. "Gosh, we are one freaky little…"  
>"Cool it" Dad sighed. "Are you going to take the phone out or stare at the bag, Charles?"<br>"Uh…" I looked over to Leah and she smiled-still staring at the black road-and nodded her head.

I took the phone out, the song and sound of prepubescent angst filling the car with steadily increasing volume as the little phone escaped the confines of Leah's bag-I took the phone out and stared at it for a minute. Stared at the caller id that said "Mind Rapist".

"It's not… uh, Edward… it says uhm…" I stammered-blushing furiously "Mind Rapist?"

"Just answer the phone" Dad groaned, the song starting over again as it rang for over three minutes.

"Why can't you answer it…?" I whined, pushing the phone back and into his face.

"Because if you answer it, and mumble how tired you are and how you want to just sleep when we arrive home…"Leah cut in when Dad did his stuttering-depressed-pained explanations "They will really just leave us alone till morning, okay kid?"  
>"I don't want to talk to him" I mumbled, watching as the screen flashed 'Missed Call' before 'Mind Rapist' crossed the l.c.d again and Justin Bieber began whining for his 'Baby'.<p>

"This is the only time you will ever be able to talk to him without him…" Dad muttered. "Just do it Charles, if Leah answers-it will be a string of swear words and if I answer… it will… hurt"

"Hello?" I mumbled into the receiver, pressing the phone too hard on my ear. "Hello… is… uhm, this is Leah's uhm… phone…"

"Charles?" he whispered-his voice smooth and bringing up a memory of mine from long ago when he would sing to me.

"Charles speaking" I muttered, staring at Leah's red face as she giggled and coughed.

"Stop laughing" I sighed at her, covering the mouth piece briefly.

"I am not laughing?" Edward murmured.

"I was uh… talking to… Leah" this was too strange.

"Right" he laughed-a strange fleeting sound. "Could I speak to…"  
>"I don't want to talk to you, Edward!" Dad hissed loudly-startling me.<p>

"Right" Edward murmured into my ear. "Shall we come over…"  
>"Uh, you know what Uncle… uhm, cousin…" I stammered, a string of 'shits' hammering in my mind as Leah swerved the car slightly when she paused her driving to wipe the laughter tears from her eyes "Let me put you on loud speaker…"<p>

"Okay" he breathed and I quickly flipped the phone and pressed the 'loud speaker' icon. "Am I on loudspeaker, Charles? I have put you on loudspeaker too"  
>"Great" Leah laughed. "This is just…"<br>"Hello Leah" Edward droned. "Shall we come and help you unpack"  
>"No" Leah said in a monotone. "Try tomorrow"<br>"What are you unpacking anyway" a strange tinkling voice from Edward's end murmured. "Esme and I already furnished the house"

"I thought we were staying in an apartment?" I asked, looking at Dad's controlled face. "Dad?"  
>"Listen, Sparkling Pants" Leah sighed. "We are all tired, I'll call you tomorrow and we can arrange a meeting at your crypt"<p>

"I thought we are all past hostilities" another singing female voice murmured. "We would love to have you for dinner, Charles"  
>"And Jacob" Edward added over Leah's giggling of "Have him for dinner… really?". "I need to speak to you. Please"<br>"No" Dad said dryly-snatching the phone from my hand. "You'll speak to Leah only. And of course Charles will come to your house-that was the whole point. Goodbye"

He snapped the phone shut, the screen crunching audibly as it broke and flung the phone to the other side of the car in his little space at the back. If I had thought that the silence before was strange-this new red aggressive quiet my Dad had brought into our little vehicle made the cool air seeping from the cold Alaskan outside heat up.

"You aren't coming with me to see them?" I asked him softly.

"No" he murmured. "Not… yet"  
>"I'll come" Leah breathed-her smile turning painful as it stuck on her face with difficulty.<p>

"Why… why do you hate them?" I asked him. "Besides with… with everything with mum"

"'Nother time Charles" he growled, shaking his head and clenching his jaw. "But believe me when I say-everything I am doing is for you and I am trying hard not to let this… I am trying…"

"You want me to drop you here Jake?" Leah asked timidly, pulling the car on the side of the road. "We'll see you at the house"

"You can't leave him on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere…!" I yelled, watching confused as Dad stepped out of the car-shaking and cursing. "Dad?"  
>"I'll see you in the morning, Charles" he whispered-that fake smile plastered horribly on his face. "Take care of Leah"<p>

"Leah can take care of herself" I whispered in unison with Leah as we drove off, leaving him standing in the darkness momentarily-his outline shimmering before he jumped off into the shadows of the trees, behind the 'Welcome to Alaska' sign.

Xx~xx~xX

"Why did you leave him there" I asked her-trying to stay calm and controlled and busying myself with lugging my bag into the house.

"He needed to cool of" she sighed, lifting two huge bags easily in both her hands and overtaking me into the house. "You get your temper… from him"

"So if I had gotten angry" I huffed, dragging the duffel bag over the overly polished hardwood floor "You would have dumped me on the side of the road?"

"If you were seven foot and bound in muscle with a high temperature" she grumbled flipping the light on by the passage, the foyer burning in yellow hues of ostentatious wallpaper and carpeting "Then yeah, I would have dumped your ass on the road too"

"So what" I huffed, giving up on the bag, and propping myself on my knees-trying to fight the tightening of my chest "You think I can't take care of myself?"  
>"In the woods or in general because that there is a very broad statement" she muttered, looking over at me and not making eye contact. "Give me your bag… I'll take it up for you"<p>

"No…" I laughed sardonically "I wouldn't want you thinking I can't take care of myself"  
>"You seriously want to go into teenage sulk mode because you want to be left on the side of the road?" she asked, her eyes wide and confused.<p>

"I want you and Dad to stop speaking in coded words and _include me!_" I shouted and then coughed, ending the sound with a throaty wheeze.

"Charles" she whispered, walking over to me slowly. "Us moving here… your dad and I being as normal as we can be and talking about old times…"  
>"Oh come off it!" I yelled, flailing my hands "You talk about old times in codes!"<br>"Well, that's what I am getting to" she pleaded and I looked away-I wasn't going to let her large eyes wheedle at my heart, I wasn't going to feel like I was the one wronging her by making us go through this.

"Charles" she said softly, touching my hair "Him and I… we wish we could bring you into this but at the same time-and believe me when I say this-it's best you stay out of it"  
>"Bull shit"<p>

"Yeah, but it is what it is" she groaned. "I want to give you everything you need but sometimes, what you need isn't necessarily what you want… I learnt that a long time ago"

"Why?" I whispered, staring at my reflection on the giant picture window. A thin pimply pale boy stood before me, limbs too long and hair limp and bland in its strange colour with too large green eyes staring angrily at me…

"Why what?" she asked softly.

"Why do you… take care of me?"

"I love you" she laughed uneasily. "You know that"  
>"Hmm" I mumbled, bending over and lugging my bag towards the stairs, a silly little desperation in me telling me that hauling it up the stairs will some how prove something "Goodnight then"<p>

"Charles…" she sighed but I wouldn't look at her. I wanted to be angry-as angry as Dad and break something but I couldn't even lift a stupid bag without wheezing…

Xx~xx~xX

The room intended for me-when I had finally managed to reach it with my bag-was huge.

I could spend a few minutes musing about the large windows facing the forest, the chocolate brown couch laying by the window in velvety softness or the ridiculously large bed on the far wall covered in red lush duvets and blankets… I could talk about the mini-fridge or the large plasma mounted on the wall with a gaming unit in a lovely cabinet…

But I won't, because although the door of that room had a silver template nailed to it with my name on it, I decided to sleep in what appears to be a miniature attic on the far east of the wing. Its small-still larger than any room I have ever slept in, the bed is a single bed with blue covers on it and the window is just right.

A round wooden framed window that let the light of the moon in softly.

Perfect.

Xx~xx~xX

"Charles…" Leah whispered through the closed door "Why aren't you in your room?"  
>"I am in my room" I drawled, readjusting my hands behind my head-still staring at the ceiling and listening to the droning sound of a wolf's howl.<p>

"Charles" she sighed and I heard her slump on the floor, possibly leaning against my door. "Please, forgive us"  
>"For what my <em>child<em>" I sighed closing my eyes. "What is it that you are about to confess to '_Father_ Charles' in half truths and omissions"

"You are very clever" she sighed, thumping on the door once with her clenched fist I would imagine. "So I am going to let you think about what I am about to tell you and make your own conclusions… I guess you are slightly old enough"  
>"Go ahead" I said controlled. "Speak"<p>

"Every little thing you think I keep from you is because…"  
>"You love me" I finished, rolling my eyes.<p>

"Yeah… that too" she muttered. "And I… not just me actually, all of us… we want you to have a normal.."  
>"You think this is a <em>normal life<em>" I hissed.

"No, its not…" she sighed. "It's as normal as we could ever give you, let me finish?"  
>"Okay" I snapped rubbing my brow in frustration.<p>

"We want you to live normally because you are normal" she whispered through the door. "You don't have any of our baggage, you are free from it. And it's a blessing Charles, because if you had been born like Renesme… or ended up like Jacob… it would have been a constant battle for your life"  
>"My life?" I snorted.<p>

"Strange men following us" she breathed. "What do you think that is about?"

I remained quiet, thinking of my Dad and his anger and depression and my mother's immaturity and selfishness when it came to responsibility and her own emotions.

"Charles… you are turning sixteen" Leah sighed. "We just want to be sure… we need to convince… people out there that everything is fine and normal and they don't have to pay attention to you because you are at this age when… things start happening to your… uh, body"  
>"Is this the sex talk?" I asked-my voice cracking on sex. "I don't think… hitmen are after me because I am going through puberty"<p>

"You'd be surprised" she finished.

"Leah" I murmured, sitting up and staring at the closed door-imaging her curled on the floor on the other side.

"Yeah" she sighed.

"I know you can't tell me everything… and I am not going to think up reasons for this" I said tensely "But like you said, I am _smart_… and I won't take this as the end answer"

"I didn't think you would" she laughed sadly.

"If there is an ailment on both sides of my family" I whispered. "I have every right to know"  
>"And what if knowing put you in danger?" she asked, her voice wavering.<p>

"You do realise that one day…" I sighed. "Some time soon, you will have to accept that I can take care of myself"  
>"Not even when you have grey hair, kid" she laughed tensely.<p>

"You won't be around for that" I chuckled, falling back on the bed as she opened my door.

"I plan on being around for you forever" she whispered, switching of my light. "Sleep tight kid"

"Goodnight old lady" I mumbled, letting the slow droning sound of the howling wolf lull me to a semi-state of conscious before adding "I'll love you for always"

Xx~xx~xX

My body was in shock. If I had thought my little trips to Forks was the coldest place ever born, if I had thought Fork's was some sort of backyard refrigerator… this was a wake up call to nature's power. Leah forgot all about switching on the heating system because she of course has a mysterious Quileute ailment that lets her walk around with a fever forever. Seeing as how I was half Renesme-who seemed to be a different form of Caucasian all on her own in her pale glory-I had no permanent heater under my skin. Maybe choosing the small attic like room wasn't so great an idea…

"I can hear your chattering from downstairs" Dad chuckled nervously, walking into my room and surveying my huddled form in the middle of my bed. "I put the heater on… let's get you warm"  
>Next thing I know, Jacob Black is attempting to cuddle me in my bed…<p>

"I… am…going to be… sixteen…" I stammered, trying to fight his arm of me. "And a _dude_… there has to be another way you can show you are sorry for running of into the night other than _cuddling _me Dad!"

"I just don't want your asthma…" he began but I gave him an indicative look and he shrugged, his shoulders slouching. "Yeah… okay… uhm, I am sorry"  
>"'Kay" I shivered.<p>

"Did you look after Leah" he asked looking at me tensely.

"I always…do"

"Okay…" he breathed. "You should never… stop… looking after her"  
>"What is this about?" I whispered. "Leah and I look after <em>each<em> _other_"

"Like it should be" he smiled softly. "I made you pancakes… like you like…"

"Like I liked them when I was eight" I rolled my eyes.

"This is me _trying_ Charles" he sighed staring at his large hands.

"Okay then" I whispered. "Let's go eat pancakes"

Xx~xx~xX

"The woods reek of sugar and spice and all that _isn't _nice…"Leah hissed, walking in through the kitchen door in her usual dishevelment of leaves-in-hair and clothes-still-being-adjusted. She paused her ranting when she saw me, eyes wide before a goofy grin spread on her face. "You look like death… like Edward actually"  
>"He's got a cold" Dad sighed and I frowned at that. "Want a pancake…? You know you don't like the food they serve at Cullen Manor"<p>

"I thought Grandma Esme was a good cook" I mumbled stuffing my face with pancakes.

"It's not the recipe…"Leah sighed, plopping next to me and pushing her plate out for Dad. "It's the _smell_ they manage to coat everything in"  
>"You really are going to be prejudiced about 'pale-faces' when I am half Cullen?" I laughed and she looked at me intensely, frowning a little.<p>

"You smell great-like roses kid" Dad sniggered, eyeing Leah funnily.

"I smell like a man" I grumbled.

"Sure, sure… we can go with that too!" Jacob laughed. "Now get going… so you can be back _quickly_"

Xx~xx~xX 

The house… no, the mansion is surreal. I had never been to the house the Cullen's owned in Forks, but I had heard Leah and Embry talk about it with Seth. I had heard about their wealth-wealth that somehow both Renesme and Jacob had agreed would not rule my life or deprive me of normality.

It stands in the middle of a clearing with tall thick trees surrounding, looming delicately in its height and casting a feint glow around its surroundings from the large windows and thrumming light escaping each glass pane. Almost cottage style and yet throwing a humble vigorous beauty….

"They always think they are subtle about their wealth" Leah grunted, parking the car way of from the front of the house. "How are you feeling?"

"I… a little scared" I muttered, chuckling involuntarily-it felt like the first day of school somehow.

"Charles" she sighed, leaning her head back on the headrest, eyes closed and a soft frown on her full lips. "I know I talk trash about them a little…"  
>"A lot" I snorted and I saw her eyes roll underneath her silky eyelids at my correction.<p>

"Anyway" she grumbled. "I don't do it because I don't like them or something…"  
>"So you like them?" I asked.<p>

"What the hell is wrong with you and cutting people…" she grumbled. "Can I continue our little deep meaningful conversations before our privacy is stripped away form us?"

"Continue…"  
>"I was saying" she breathed "They aren't the worst folk and I guess in their freaky weird Stepford way they are going to be good for you… they are very committed and obsessive about the ones they love-ask your mum…. But I won't let their obsessive love ruin you"<p>

"Uh, thanks for… looking out for me?"

"So… give them a chance" she sighed, looking at me suddenly and I felt my heart squeeze when her eyes raked my face with an exponential intensity. "They love you and I know they are going to do their utmost to make things non-weird for you…"  
>"Right" I whispered.<br>"Right" she sighed, starting the car again. "Let's do this…" 

Xx~xx~xX

"Charles!" a beautiful small woman breathed, rushing over to me with her arms extended. "Oh, honey… how I have missed you. You have grown so much…"

"He has" an ethereal blonde woman murmured, watching me with a gentle smile as the caramel haired woman embraced me-squeezing me tightly. "Oh, my… he looks so much like…"

"Me" Edward finished from somewhere behind me.

"He doesn't remember you" Leah stated standing tensed to the left, her arms crossed over her chest. "It's been that long…"  
>"Oh honey…" the woman murmured releasing me "It's your grandma Esme?"<p>

"Nice to… uh… meet and see…" I stammered, looking at Leah who nodded her head in encouragement. "To meet you"

"He still stammers?" a big scary man asked-as though I wasn't really there.

"That's your… cousin Emmett" Leah sighed standing closer to me-the heat of her skin engulfing me. "That's Rosalie…"  
>"You don't remember me, sweetie?" Rosalie asked taking a step towards me-her beauty making me uncomfortable and I blushed at 'sweetie'.<p>

"N…" I tried but I felt the stuttering coaxing in my throat and then just shook my head dumbly, swallowing hard and wishing I was blind so I didn't have to witness my own embarrassment.

"Where is Bella" Leah growled looking behind me at Edward I presumed.

"She…" he began. "I would have preferred speaking to Jacob…."

"She is with my mother" I said abruptly-shocking everyone into silence including myself.

"Did she tell you that…? Renesme, when she called?" Leah asked and I nodded-lying. I don't know how I knew it… the answer just came to me as she asked the question and I knew it was the truth.

"Let's move to the TV room" Carlisle murmured. "Esme …?"

"Yes…" Esme murmured. "I'll go prepare some cinnamon buns and hot tea for you Charles… We can't have you getting sick in this cold"

I wanted to mumble how I was fine but I could feel the tenseness around me. That tingling feeling you get when you have stumbled over a sensitive subject in a strange house and everyone is trying to rush over it…

"I hope Jasper and Alice don't take too long… I could really use Jasper's help right about now" Edward murmured, walking beside me. "Do you like playing video games, Charles?"

I hadn't looked at him closely; I didn't really want to. It felt weird finally seeing the man-or boy, this was too strange-that everyone said I looked like. It felt weird being near someone I had a resemblance to after years of being the 'pale-face' at any Quileute functions and being the strange boy with weird eyes and hair at every school. I let him lead me a few feet into the house through a large door, half-listening to his smooth voice asking me questions and Leah gruffly answering them for me when I didn't bother trying to converse with him.

"How long…" Leah began.

"Maybe we should talk about this later" Edward said carefully. He was crouched in front of the large-ridiculously large plasma fiddling with the gaming system. His back was facing me but I could tell easily that he was much taller than I was-much more built, that his hair was almost the same shade as my own but where mine flopped and lay in paralyzed dim glory… his stood in a weird formation of shining lushness and freaky baroque movement…

"Bella has been gone three weeks" I murmured-half dazed and Edward froze his movements, whipping his head to stare at me.

I blinked rapidly when our eyes met, stammering a badly thought through lie on how I knew that bit of information and the opted to look to Leah for assistance.

"Renesme told you?" she asked frowning and I nodded vehemently-my head moving like one of those bobbing dolls truckers place on their dashboards.

"So you spoke to her?" Edward asked softly and I could feel his eyes on me… I could feel that his mind was concentrating on me…

"A while… I can't remember" a half truth. "What games do you have?"

"A few… Emmett went into town and bought the whole gaming section… just for you" he murmured but I refused to look at him, watching my sweaty hands folding over themselves in a furious nervous dance.

"Hmm" I mumbled-realising that everyone here must have been excited about my arrival and I couldn't even remember them.

"I'm going to go talk to Rosalie" Leah announced rising swiftly and I knew she was giving Edward some coded look. Damn her and her _codes_…

She left and Edward returned to fixing the X-box to the television and I sat still and uncomfortable on the white wide couch.

"Do you play any sports, Charles?" he asked, rising from the ground and switching the TV on.

"Uh…" was falling constantly and running from bullies considered a sport. "No"

"What interests you?" he asked, smiling a little.

"Chess" I muttered. "Reading…"

"Leah told Rosalie you write?" he asked and I frowned. When had Leah told _Rosalie _that…? I didn't know she spoke to her…

"Nothing of importance" I mumbled. "And you…?"

"I used to play sports a long time ago" he murmured. "But I suppose wrestling counts… I wrestle Emmett and Jasper sometimes"  
>"You wrestle <em>Emmett<em>?" I half shouted and laughed-when he wasn't standing next to Emmett he was still obviously built but Emmett… had been as big as Dad…

"Size isn't everything" he laughed, sitting on the other side of the couch and handing me a gaming control. "Everyone has a talent specifically designed to help them…"

"Where is everyone?" I asked him-slightly more comfortable.

"Hmm… Leah and Rose are probably catching up" he murmured. "Esme and Carlisle have gone to organise the days meals for you and Emmett…"  
>"Has gone to see my father?" I asked and he frowned.<p>

"You are very intuitive" he breathed still frowning.

"My father isn't in a talking mood" I muttered, ignoring the two fighting figures on the TV of our players and throwing the control on the side.

"I think… he will be more willing to talk to Emmett" Edward murmured placing his own control slowly down on the table. "They have a history…"

"Hmm" I grumbled. "So… we are cousins huh"

"You know we aren't cousins" he chuckled. "It's just easier to say that"  
>"Why"<p>

"I can't tell you… but I can tell that you are more than capable of figuring that out on your own" he sighed closing his eyes.

He looked like me-how right everyone had been-but he was just as extensively different if not worse of than my resemblance to my mother. He looked like me but it was like every flaw I ever had was perfected on his face. No pimples, no whimsical sloping jaw and smooth skin…

"Charles" he murmured. "You are loved here"

"Okay" I muttered uneasily.

"We stayed away because it was necessary at the time"  
>"So it's necessary now that I be here…" I mumbled.<p>

"Exactly" he breathed. "Leah has told you that the less you know, the safer you will be…"  
>"Some Bull..."<p>

"_Language_" Edward said coolly opening his eyes and giving me a reproachful look and I blushed-the strange authority in his voice contrasting oddly with his youthful face that seemed no less than two years older than my own.

"No one has changed…" I sighed. "I think… from what I remember…."  
>"Does it bother you?" Edward asked.<p>

"I expected it" I laughed. "Seth told me some B.S about 'good genes' and I have mastered some of this coded dialect to know what that entails"  
>"Abbreviated swearing still counts Charles" Edward laughed. "And I wouldn't call them 'good genes'…"<p>

"What would you call them?"

"An affliction that has skipped you" he said tensely.

"Everyone left so you could talk to me" I said and he nodded. "Make sure I am okay?"

"Something like that" he sighed. "I had no doubt Leah would… make things easier. Would explain our life to you in a way you could handle…"  
>"She didn't explain anything" I grumbled.<p>

"Oh, but she did…" Edward sighed. "Jasper, you may join us…?"

"Huh?" I murmured but then a tall blonde man-as handsome and pale as all the Cullen males were-walked through the door slowly.

"Hello Charles" he drawled "It has been… a long time it feels, by the way you have grown"  
>"Alice…?" Edward asked and Jasper sighed.<p>

"Gone to shop for school equipment for Charles" he sighed. "She heard that you were having a moment with your… cousin… and used the opportunity to utilise her many plastic cards"

"Very Alice like" Edward chuckled. "Charles… you have to believe when I tell you, no amount of preparing could quell our excitement to have you here…"

"But it has quelled our frustration and anxiety at _not_ having you here" Carlisle sighed, walking through the door in an apron. "Not having both you and your father…"  
>"And Leah" Edward murmured. "We are stronger when we are all together… because we are all family"<p>

All my fears and worries had vanished. I believed him when he said that because I had seen it in the way Leah had looked at Rosalie with old never ending familiarity and trust. I had seen it on Esme and Carlisle's face through undiluted compassion and love… I could hear it reverberating with doubtless conviction in my mind when Edward spoke.

But I felt this gnawing sensation scratching under this new born happiness. A soft uneasiness at their presence near me even though I knew they wouldn't harm me in any way. I was accepted here just like I had been in La Push-but the acceptance I had quietly wanted, subconsciously craved… the love and joy of my mother was absent and it could not be more pronounced as I sat with _her_ family.

Bella Cullen and Renesme Black's absence prickled at my mind that this new joy was just a highlight to a bigger more disturbing emotion that would shock me when I finally saw them. My 'intuition' had never failed me.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**LEAH CLEARWATER**

"I have missed you so much, She-Wolf" Rosalie sighed, walking slowly at the edge of the frozen lake, her hair flying through the air like light.

"Missed you too, Barbie" I sighed.

"He doesn't remember me" she murmured-and I was sure she was doing her dry-vampire-crying thing but I chose to ignore it.

"He has a bad memory" I sighed, my hand hovering unsure over her back before I patted her twice quickly. "Don't take it personally, his memory is worse than any humans"  
>"He knew Edward" she spluttered.<p>

"Edward looks like him" I breathed. "And Jake talks about him a lot"

"I guess…" she conceded finally. "He is so skinny…"  
>"I feed him Rose" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "I feed him, I over feed him… he wont ever be anything but that but he is perfect"<br>"Oh, he is your imprint… you would say that" she laughed. "He needs to do boys sports not sit around starving himself…"  
>"Good luck with that" I chuckled. "He is his father's son… and some of Edward's pompousness found its way in there too"<p>

"Does he hate us?" she asked suddenly-intensely.

"He doesn't know you" I sighed. "He just needs to know you…"

"Of course" she whispered.

"You going to tell me about Bella or what?" I asked finally and she froze. "Jake, fuck how do I even… listen, the only reason Jacob hasn't gone over the edge is because of his son. Forget Alice's vision, forget the Volturi and Charles needing to be protected… the real reason Jacob is still somehow sane is because of Charles. Charles needs his father… and Jake is trying so hard dammit… and its not easy when Charles is so fragile and stubborn simultaneously. It's not easy when Charles is so perceptive and mature when he is supposed to be just a kid with a mother and father…"  
>"Bella… well, you know about Renesme and Nahuel" Rosalie said coolly, folding her arms over her chest and frowning beautifully.<p>

"Yes, we all know about _that_" I hissed.

"Bella decided to intervene" she breathed.

"So she has gone to talk sense into Nessie?"

"Hmm" Rosalie murmured, staring at the hard ground by her pink expensive shoes. "No one knows… the truth"  
>"No one knows the truth in a house with a psychic and telepath" I scoffed.<p>

"Alice can't see Nessie and Nahuel and Edward…" Rosalie sighed. "I think Charles will not only save Jacob but Edward too. It's like he woke up…"

"What the hell is going on" I hissed. "Are you seriously telling me that amongst everything…. You leeches have the audacity to throw in 'marriage problems' on top of Charles being in danger?"

"I don't know Leah" Rose whispered. "Edward was never one to talk about his personal… well, not with me at any rate and Bella didn't say _anything_. She just left for Nessie-apparently. And he has been so… _miserable_. Distraught about Jacob, distressed about Renesme and Bella leaving was like the final straw… it was like a confirmation that there were things about Bella he didn't know. And her refusal to share her mind with him; not allowing him to know the truth when he asked for it…"  
>"And when the news about the Volturi waking up to Charles <em>arrived<em>" Rosalie sighed warily, her beautiful face desolate "He just… I don't know, threw himself vigorously into caring for Jake and Charles and it didn't help that Jake doesn't want to see him or speak to him. You know how close they had gotten… it's like he feels _he _broke Jake's heart… like not having Jake to talk to is breaking his heart too. Maybe if Jacob and Edward…" 

"It kills Jacob Rosalie… that Edward looks like Nessie…" I whispered absently-remembering how Jake would rush over any memory of Edward and Renesme in his wolf mind-rush over Charles face before I had reminded him how Charles looked like him when he smiled. He didn't need to fear Charles…

"But Charles…"  
>"Charles is his son…" I muttered looking away from her. "Not even the imprint can get in the way of that and it is because of that we have 'Jake the Man' and not 'Jake the Wolf' here."<p>

"Well…"Rose sighed. "We have to… forget all this turmoil for Charles"  
>"Vampires never forget"<br>"And wolves love forever" she finished grimly. "This imprint has doomed him"

"He will be fine" I muttered, grimacing when the memory of Jacob's broken mind popped in my head after finally managing to push it back. His feral distraught mind, his pained barbed emotions all lost to the wolf-an instinctive part of us Quileute wolves that didn't understand human emotions tortured beyond understanding under the power of an imprint strained and massacred.

And I had to convince him there was someone who loved him-that he had his son. Who has to convince someone that they are loved… how he could have thought he wasn't… that terrifying inaccessible dark void of despairing dejection in him… I _feared_ it.

"Leah?"

"He will be fine" I said shakily. "I couldn't leave him alone; I had to bring him…"  
>"We will take care of Jake, Leah"<p>

"I don't know what seeing her will do to him" I breathed hard. "This feels too much like that Bella-epic… if not worse…"

"He will be fine" Rose muttered, trying to convince me and herself "We will all be fine"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Right, welcome to Angstville; population-many broken hearts.**

**Review responses and pm's:**

**To those who reviewed and expressed frustration that Charles doesn't know much-I hope we are on the same page about that but if not here is the explanation. (I hate explaining stuff… but anyway)**

**Charles has to be excluded from the supernatural world because he is supposedly human and we know what the Volturi laws state. The Cullen's and Wolves are being very thorough about that to protect him but obviously that wont fly with a young curious teenager no matter how mature.**

**I had opted for Charles perspective so we can get to know him a bit and see how his mind works but I think I will be flipping perspectives later on.**

**Other responses: Charles looking like Edward. Vampire coated human genes are strong I would imagine. **

**Yes, he is actually supposed to be weaker than your average human. That was deliberate.**

**And everything else will be revealed within the story, just be patient… can't exactly give away the ending when the story is just beginning.**

**Remember to review**

**tj**


	9. A Family that Prays together

There are many things that staggered my perception of the world, that blew my understanding of what it meant to be alive in death and _broke me_-many things that I only _discovered _in my immortality after marrying Bella. It felt like I had been coddled, naïve even… after awakening to the repercussions of living forever. The biggest of these things was Renesme-the truest surprise to my living death. But I could never regret it, even when dark thoughts filtered through my mind that Renesme's presence may have caused this catastrophic dishevelment to all that I had once thought good and true…

Because even if her presence had done this-it had never been her fault; in fact, Nessie was not the 'up heaving factor' but simply 'the light that shown' on all the hidden warped fragments of my relationship and love for Bella. Renesme was the one good thing born out of my immortal mistake in falling in love so suddenly and forever permanently.

I do wonder at times how I would have been if I were human.

It isn't envy that makes me stare at my grandson; who looks eerie like I do-I would imagine if I were human and had a slight tan, who retains green eyes I had thought lost and continues a Mason line I feared had ended with my immortal daughter. It is our wondrous connection that I keep to myself-willing him to discover and share with me; bring us closer… maybe that is the part that is envious. My need to have a bond with him just as strong as he does with Leah. To have him gaze at me with an undiluted love, compassion, understanding and sympathy like he does Jacob. But all I have to stand on is this thin connection…

How is it he finished my sentences at times or knows things-simple things-I don't wish to voice out.

_Strange young man…_

How is it indeed he has come to us finally and healed a wound that had been scabbing and being torn afresh, that Bella had picked at ruthlessly and set to bleed freely once more? How is it he pulled Jacob from the dark abyss his mind had ventured into when Renesme had told him she loved him no more, when Jasper had felt that rupturing emotion threatening to fissure into tangible reality from the Alpha wolf… and I had broken with Jacob, through his mind and through our awkward friendship born out of loving two women differently and yet similarly.

Xx~xx~xX

"He is so…"Jasper murmured thoughtfully, recalling Charles silent awkward form on the couch "_Human…"_

"Yes" I sighed.

"I haven't felt you this… well, happy is not the word" Jasper chuckled uneasily, recalling a feeing in memory of my depression-a depression that rivalled what I had gone through when I had had to leave Bella to save her. "Hopeful… maybe?"  
>"I hope to have a relationship with him" I said softly, watching him unpack his bag and trying not to let petulance get in the way of their love for me. They didn't have to remain with me; they could have gone with their wives to Paris… I wasn't some cripple because my wife and daughter left me… "I hope to make up of years that I had missed, teaching him something about life…"<p>

"What does an immortal know of teaching about _life?_" Jasper smiled, removing the silver suitcase of his and Alice's large modern designed bed and sitting on the beds edge.

"Point taken" I grimaced "I just… he is so _young_. You can see it in his eyes-behind his older patience and intuition to the things around him-he is just a _child_"

_Do you want to do right by him, teach him what you couldn't-weren't allowed to teach Renesme…_

I frowned at him and he smiled nervously. My daughter was a delicate topic that I tended to reserve for Carlisle… who managed to be objectively compassionate through out.

"I want to be in his life" I groaned-frustrated with Jasper's ever hard mind to convince of simple emotions. The irony of an emotional reader not able to grasp certain sentiments.

"Okay then…" he sighed, leaning back on the bed.

"I am just happy you are talking and walking" Emmett murmured from his position on the door, leaning on the frame.

"Leave the statue act for Aro and his goons" Emmett muttered, his mind filled with violence for the Volturi Guard, face contorted into a scowl.

"Alice says things are fine" Jasper said carefully. "They may not visit…"  
>"Leah's involvement in the matter means we cannot count on <em>Alice<em>" I hissed. "And even then, Jacob keeps popping up in blurred points and out again… it's worrying… its frustrating…"

"Edward" Jasper said calmly "Jacob will be fine"

"You do not understand!" I shouted, rising from the chair and stepping away from Jasper, watching Emmett. "He imprinted, you need to see it from his mind, it's like Jekyll and Hyde…"

"Edward" Emmett said sternly "Jake's here, that's what counts. I spoke to him and he wants to be there for the kid-Renesme or no Renesme. We all want to be there for Charles. The Volturi want to see Charles…"  
>"They will not…" I growled.<p>

"…and everyone agreed that if Charles is with us, things will be better. More manageable and better protection" Emmett finished, thinking that not allowing the Volturi to see Charles would definitely result into an altercation.

"If Bella was with us they wouldn't have dared" I said softly and they both remained quiet, trying not to let their anger for Bella seep into their thoughts, Jasper's slight hatred for her prickling my temper.

"But she isn't…" Emmett said delicately.

"If Nessie returns… and tells her of Charles… she'll come…" I whispered, the familiar dreaded pain of heartbreak-eternally resilient venom coated emotional pandemonium-cracking my voice and contorting my face while leaving Jasper wincing slightly.

"Bella will come" I said trying to regain my composure, pushing away the image of Bella's 'sorry expression' as she left me with no explanation or understanding and pulling on Charles image in my mind, of his frowning pallid face and large emerald eyes "He is our grandson"

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

**FAMILY'S THAT PRAY TOGETHER…**

"… so in essence" I continued, feeling unnerved as he thought I could go _on and on_ like an old man "That is why Carlisle and I are _for_ Obama"  
>"That's… he is a good president" Charles sighed, still gazing out the window and thinking of Renesme-his mother-and wondering if she would come soon now that he was here and his birthday was approaching, torn between wanting her here and wanting Jacob to continue healing...<p>

"And he is _cool_" he added, grinning at me briefly before returning his gaze to the wall of pine trees just outside the window.

"You mean his policies are cool?" I asked.

"I mean he is _cool_" Charles grumbles rolling his large eyes. "Edward… Leah says I am going to school with you?"  
>"Yes" I smiled as he thought how awkward that would be.<p>

"Well…" he breathed, tilting his head in my direction but still maintaining a slight dismissive posture "When we start school… would you _not _say that you think the president is _cool _because of his _policies._ That's a sure way to find your self in a _dumpster, _trust me_…_"

"I do agree that his other policies leave a lot to be desired…" I began and he frowned, his thoughts one big snarled up web of '_he is going to cost me my life…_'  
>"Say something else to describe your <em>love<em> for your president, like…" he thought for a moment, replaying a rap song Leah had blasted in the car once "My president is black, my lambo is blue and I'll be damned if my rims ain't too…"

"My Lamborghini is _yellow_" I said dryly. "And my rims have what to do with…"

"I thought we were supposed to be pretending you were _seventeen_" he threw in quickly, offhanded and slyly before smirking at me-disrupting my thoughts a little when his lips quirked up and flung my resemblance on him immediately into a younger Jacob.

"I don't get it" I frowned, trying to listen on his thoughts but they did their odd fuzziness, hiding his mental tone and only revealing my face staring at him with a confused expression.

"You sound like someone's _grandpa_ when you go _on_ about policies and the civil war" Charles grinned, his eyes flashing suspiciously. "I mean, you know too much about Al Capone… I'm starting to think you have met the guy personally" 

Xx~xx~xX

It isn't a well kept secret that no one sleeps in the house.

Everyone has started slipping up and it really isn't because we have forgotten that Charles is not to be told anything directly, not to be alerted in callous display that he is living with strange beings… its _Charles_. It's Charles ingenuity when it comes to putting people-vampires and wolves-at ease. When he wakes up at three in the morning for a glass of milk, he passes Esme sluggishly and throws in an "It's a bit early to be baking, Grandma" before shuffling back to bed.

A remark that translates to; _I see that this is strange but I do not judge you. I see you, you see me and that's what matters_.

He handles, like Leah said he would and it both enthrals me and terrifies me. He takes it in steadily, he holds it in his mind in reason and stores it in compartments reserved not for suspicion alone but understanding of who his family is.

She has brought him up to wield secrecy like it was nothing more than a drifting feather, to treat perception with functional detachment and dissect it easily in two sections; potentially hazardous and essential to harmony. Leah has given him normality in the abnormal with meticulousness none of us would have managed.

Xx~xx~xX

"What's for breakfast?" Charles yawns, sliding into the aluminium stool clumsily, almost toppling over before steadying himself by hoisting the counter top.

"What do you want?" Leah asks him, folding her arms over her chest. He doesn't acknowledge me audibly but nods his head in my direction-wondering why I am here and where Jacob is. He knows Jacob is never in the same place as me…

"Pancakes but the pancake maker went AWOL" he sighs, adding an internal… _went AWOL thanks to Eddie._

"You refer to me as 'Eddie' with Charles?" I glare at Leah and her eyes bulge before she frowns back-a rendition of her once fierce scowl now soft and half-hearted. Charles in turn frowns-for a different reason-his already growing suspicion of my talents piqued some more.

"No!" she gasps finally but she isn't really sure, trying to recall all the times they spoke about me and realising that she never uses my actual name but a series of snarky nicknames instead.

"You are here for my father?" Charles asks, peering at me seriously with disarming green eyes.

"Yes" I sighed "I was hoping to catch him…"  
>"He hasn't been home in two days" Charles states, giving Leah a quick look before ending things there suddenly.<p>

Jacob was in the woods according to Leah but Charles thought he was staying in a motel somewhere to be away from _me_; the assumption he had formulated for himself after Leah was unable to explain Jacob's disappearance.

"Well…" I breathed, smiling painfully as the fact of Jacob avoiding me was hurting more and more each time "How about you have breakfast at our place, maybe spend the night again… Leah, wont you come too?"

"Charles?" Leah asked instead, her eyes trained on his face.

"Sure, sure…" Charles sighed, his thoughts thinning into images lost of any mental narration-something I was now starting to think required a lengthy discussion with Carlisle in its oddity.

"It will give me a chance to beat Emmett in Street Fighter" he breathed before smiling mischievously at me "And maybe I can teach you more about being _seventeen_ before we start school"

"I don't know how you're teaching Edward _that_" Leah sighed wearily, attacking his long darker bronze hair in an adoring ruffle "When you aren't even _sixteen_, squirt"

Xx~xx~xX

"It's really just going to be me…" I continued.

"Where have Esme and Carlisle gone too?" Charles asked absently, flipping through my CD collection with a slight frown.

"Esme…" I began, bewildered when the memory of Esme and Carlisle bidding me good bye fleeted across his mind gently and too quickly; a fuzzy chipped image of Esme's worried expression that I would be alone in our Alaskan home, a memory of Carlisle asking Emmett and Jasper to preferably remain with me while their wives went to Paris -a memory that was _mine._

"They went for a weekend getaway" I said tensely, looking at Leah briefly in the rear-view mirror-she had not caught the little exchange between Charles and I. She was worrying about Jacob.

"We were really planning on a boy's weekend…" I said smiling at him-his face was hidden behind his rather dirty hair while he sighed and huffed at my selection of classics. He found something finally, exhaling shakily before coughing a little and popped the CD into the player; oblivious to my staring, oblivious to his own mind and the impossible oddity of him seeing something in his memory that he had not witnessed.

"So won't I be interrupting?" Leah asked-a little hopeful. She wanted to go and find Jacob, she wanted to try calling Renesme again-for the fifteenth time today… she was stressed about Charles impending birthday that she was secretly trying to get him to celebrate…

"Not in the slightest bit" I murmured-staring out the window at the whizzing trees. "It's supposed to be your Welcome party…"

"A party organised without the awareness of Alice Cullen?" Leah scoffed.

"Will…"Charles began, looking back at Leah who shook her head-sighing internally.

He wanted to know if Jacob was going to be there.

There was silence after that, Charles opting for his compulsive tree gazing as we drove the long gravely road that lead to the house. A tense stillness filled with uncertain sadness and hope lost.

Xx~xx~xX

"How did my mother and father meet" Charles murmurs, surveying my bedroom with mild wariness and unwanted curiosity; this is my bedroom, the bedroom I share with Bella he thinks. It doesn't look like any seventeen year-olds bedroom, the strangest thing being the lack of a bed-a bed I had flung out the window in week two of Bella leaving me.

"That… is a long story" I muttered, moving a stack of albums from the couch so he could have somewhere to sit. A long story or a rather short one depending on ones outlook on the phenomenon of 'imprinting' I suppose…

"What…" he breathed and I saw in his mind the image of Jacob-a young Jacob post-imprint smiling at me, holding a baby… _my_ memory of Jacob trying to explain what had happened, why he wouldn't kill me like I had asked him too if Bella was dead and how grateful he was for Nessie.

"What was that?" he whispered his eyes large and confused and staring at me accusingly. "What did you do?"

"I did nothing" I murmured controlled. "That was all _you_, Charles"  
>"No" he said stubbornly, backing away from me-this he knew he had no way of knowing, this he could not deny or ignore like all the other times he had seen into my mind briefly. "That was you… I see how you talk to people without them saying a word and how you know <em>things<em>…"

"Charles" I tried, my insides contorting; I had thought I had time for him to figure this out, for him to come to me and say he could pick up on my thoughts and this certainly wasn't the reaction I had imagined. Suspicion and mistrust…fear….

"No…" he said pushing his hand out for me not to come closer to him. "_What did you do?"_

Leah stopped her ranting with Emmett on the differences between the timbre wolf and normal wolves-her thoughts immediately pulling onto a need to find Charles-ignoring Emmett's question if she wanted to see his new car.

"I am a telepath" I said quickly as Leah bound up the stairs, terror in me that his look of fear would be the last thing I would see (a terror I knew was born out of having Renesme and Bella leave…)-realisation that there was no room for non-answers at this point in time, there was no even-handedness in lying to him and the final realisation that my longing for him to know that he had this talent, slight and similar to my own-possibly inherent-had backfired. He was human, such oddities and talents of telepaths and psychics would never be the easiest thing to accept.

"A tele…" he frowned shaking his head. "So you put that…"

"I didn't put that in your mind" I whispered, Leah shuffling outside the door, her every twitch fuelling my unease. I expected her to barge in here and grab Charles and return to their home in the Greenstone Suburbs, muttering how this was too much for her imprint, how all the stress of worrying about Jacob and Nessie had caught up to them.

"Right" he said slowly, exhaling a shaky breath. "Right…"

"Charles?" Leah said through the door.

"I am fine Leah" he whispered, knowing obviously that she would hear. "Just… talking to _Cousin_ Edward here"

"Edward…?" Leah tried caught between breaking the door down and letting me deal with my grandson. _Is he alright… what happened. His figured out you are a mindrapist…? Surely you could have managed that little detail better… seriously… mindrapist can't even manage…_

"Telepath!" I hissed at the door and Charles gave me a dubious look. "Uh, I was talking to…"  
>"Answering Leah's thoughts" he breathed, nodding vehemently. "Right… completely… okay, right"<br>"You kinda-sorta-knew kid" Leah chuckled nervously, opening the door slowly and peering in.

"Hmm" Charles murmured falling back onto the couch. "Telepath… I need a drink or something"

"We have orange juice, kid" Emmett chuckled from behind Leah. "Unless you want one of Nessie's favourites…"  
>"Emmett!" I roared and he sniggered derisively.<p>

"So you are a telepath" Charles asked again, folding his arms over his chest and keeping his eyes closed. "You hear thoughts and put them…"  
>"I didn't put any thoughts in your mind" I sighed, sitting down besides him. "That's what I have been trying to explain…"<p>

"Well I definitely didn't put them in my own mind!" he yelled suddenly, rounding on me "I don't do any weird things…"  
>"I don't…" he heaved, standing up and then going into a full out rant from all his pent up frustrations "I do not disappear into forests, come back covered in leaves or worse in <em>nothing<em>, I do not stay up _forever _or never eat. I definitely _age _and I don't have eyes that change colour at will…"

"Not really on _will_…" Emmett interrupted and Charles rolled his eyes.

"I don't walk around with a fever or… or…" he stammered, air coming out in stutters and hitches, his hands shaking slightly and face flush.

"Charles" Leah said wearily. "Stay cool…"

"Take it easy, buddy…" I murmured, walking over to him and attempting to pat his back and free the coughing fit but he tried to knock my hand away-a quick reaction I had no time to process and his soft breakable hand whacked my marble one with a sickening slap.

"Charles!"Leah hissed rushing over to him and pushing aggressively out of the way-I allowed the movement. "Argh…!"  
>He cradled his hand, flinching and cursing while throwing me annoyed looks. It wasn't that it was my fault, it was that he was angry-he had been angry for a while now and he hated that it was me that he had blown of on.<p>

"I am so sorry" I muttered. "Let me…"  
>"No" Leah huffed. "I think… maybe we should…"<br>"No, don't go…" I whispered and Charles sighed.

"Its not broken, just some ice maybe…" I smiled uneasily waving my cold hand in the air for assistance.

"I am fine" he mumbled, trying to free himself from Leah's frantic hold-feeling emasculated by how easy his hand had been hurt on contact with my own and Leah's insistent surveying and inspecting.

"Seriously, the _kid_ is fine" Charles grumbled, finally manoeuvring out of his imprinter's grip.

"Okay then" Leah said shakily, grinning pained. "I'll…"

"Esme left the ingredients to a few possible meal choices on the refrigerator door" I whispered and she gulped, looking quickly at Charles who nodded once more that he was fine.

"Right…" she sighed "A lot of excitement for one day…"

"I said I am fine, Leah…" Charles breathed, fighting to stay calm and keep his anger at bay-his thoughts fusing over into mental pictures without a narrative voice.

"Okay" she whispered and left slowly, taking much longer to reach the ground floor than she had to rush up, still listening out for Charles.

He frowned at his hand, turning it over in the air and sighed at the angry pink bruise that appeared with purplish edges.

"I really am…"

"I know you are Edward" he sighed. "I shouldn't have hit you"

"I think he hit _you_ kid" Emmett muttered, entering my room fully and standing by the window. "You bruise easily huh, worse than Bell.. well, worse than _most_"

"Yeah" Charles sighed, rubbing his aching hand. "I need thicker skin"

Xx~xx~xX

Happiness is a state of mind someone once said.

To imply one controlled their own joy was ridiculous. Your environment controlled you, everything and everyone around you had a share holding in your happiness; whether you were willing to admit such a fact or not. It was up to you to fight to retain the larger portion of control.

And fight I did…

**A few years ago…**

"You went away last month" I said softly, watching her pack her things in a matter of seconds, she never glanced at me or acknowledged my still form by the door.

"I am going away _again_" she sighed irritably. "Edward… I have to… I must…. It's necessary to us"  
>"It's different this time" I murmured, her mahogany hair blurring with each motion, pale skin glimmering where she passed stray rays of sunshine.<p>

"It's for a while"  
>"Why wont you let us fix things" I tried again "Why won't you let me in your mind, Bella"<p>

"Because I love you" she whispered, finally looking at me and I believed it in her eyes-after she had hid this love for me, but in them-in her golden eyes-I saw only a fraction of the love I had gazed upon in her humanity.

"Then… don't do this" I struggled, listening as my family left the house, willing us privacy.

"I have to"

"You don't have to do anything" I hissed moving to her and touching her hand and watching as she flinched.

"I have to find Nessie" she murmured looking away from me and into the forest. "I… I am going to pack everything of mine up and put it in storage… so… you won't have me…"  
>"As if you never existed?" I scoffed manically, stepping away from her. "Really Bella… <em>really<em>"  
>"It's for Nessie…" she whispered again, never looking at me.<p>

"We all know were Renesme is…" I breathed. "With Nahuel"

"I have to go to were she is and look after her"  
>"She is a grown woman" I said "You said so yourself when I objected her marriage to Jacob"<p>

"You will never understand" Bella hissed shaking her head "You will never know the confusion of …"

She stopped, her face contorted in angry fury and eyes flashing with annoyance that I had mentioned Jacob-the one name she had grown to hate second from Leah and Rosalie-a name she hated with no true explanation, for Jacob tried desperately to regain his Bella, like I did. He too didn't understand why he was losing her, lost her…

"You told me this would be enough forever" I whispered.

"When forever has no limit…" she murmured, looking at my feet "I may have been hasty in saying such a thing. This… is too… little"  
>"You are not going to Nessie" I sighed-exhaling a barbed breath. "You are going to someone different… someone…"<p>

"I am not"  
>"Alice saw you" I whispered looking up at her. "I know you made her promise to never show me such a thing, but sincerely Bella; she was <em>my<em> sister first… how did you think she would manage such treachery on your behalf"

She remained silent then, her head poised high and proud in the face of my damning accusations-never blinking and determined.

"You made another to love?"

"She saw me with a _man_. It was not in any incriminating manner _Edward_" Bella whispered controlled although her eyes were flashing with something fierce I had never seen. Something I knew someone else had awoken in her-a feral power. "It could mean any number of things. I am going to Nessie… I am going to South America. I need a break… these talks of infidelity due to uncertain visions of vampires… you need to put them out of your head Edward"

"I don't understand…" I begged, reaching for her hand but this time she growled low and threatening.

"I want _space_" she insisted finally looking at my face-an apathetic impatience dancing in her eyes. "I love you, but I want something outside of _school and college and hunting bears_… something higher… I need to go and discover…"  
>"I can't hold you to me no more, my love?"<br>"Edward" she sighed, moving towards the window and glancing down once. "If I had known this wasn't going to be enough, I would have saved you from this… But I was young, naive and you were a _sparkling _vampire…."

"What are you saying?"  
>"I am saying goodbye" she whispered and leapt out the window with her large suitcase, staring up at me once-sad and free before bolting through the woods.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

It had all happened within the months of Renesme and Jacob's marriages disintegration.

Hearing thoughts always meant I could not be surprised. I had thought once that my not hearing Bella's thoughts was the ultimate gift the universe could afford me after having her reciprocate love for me. But it turned into a curse, both of these boons were the highest curse…

She left once-insisting she wanted to go to South America on her won accord, then twice and then she returned more permanently after her little trips. But she had returned different. Colder, cooler and distant. A distracted vampire…

And when she went to the Volturi with no consultation with the rest of the family, I couldn't ignore that she was not my Bella anymore. She was restless and still, poised and unnerved-a natural vampire and a Cullen rolled up in one beautiful body. She terrified me…

Suddenly Renesme was hers _alone_, suddenly Renesme needed her mother's every consultation for anything-from which home to buy to which lingerie to wear for Jacob to get him to… be with her.

I understood finally why Renesme had run away when she was pregnant. Why she had begged for Leah and Jacob and maybe she should have stayed hidden from us…

Rosalie would never forgive Bella for Charles. Bella would never forgive Rosalie for Charles and Leah and Renesme… they didn't care as long as Charles was away from Bella and Rosalie's feuding. He had been almost five, the last time we had all truly been involved in his life, the first time a vision of the Volturi immerged but this had been before Bella's trips to South America. Sometimes I wonder if it was the catalyst for her needing to go 'exploring' alone-that one comment made by Rosalie that threw everything in disarray and suddenly Bella's mind was a no-go territory for me, at times Renesme's mind was included in Bella's mental sanctions.

That one comment that I tried not to obsess about:

"_You wish he was yours, Bella. You want to be his mother… I can see it. You want him to be yours because he is Jacob's. Nessie may be your child but just because he is Nessie's child doesn't make him yours either"_

Rosalie had always had difficulty controlling her razor tongue when she was angry. More especially when she was angry over something she _loved_ and _cherished_ highly… Renesme.

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Okidoki**

**Tried to delve into the mind of a heartbroken, still healing Edward who was now trying to play the role of grandfather without actually 'playing the role' and oh, how messed up he is.**

**Here is hoping he doesn't resemble any of my other 'Edwards'.**

**Loves….**

**tj**


	10. Not so Sweet at Sixteen

I guess it was inevitable that my mother would return. It was also highly likely my father would appear at exactly the same time she would be there. It had seemed like permanent bliss as the days merged together, as Leah and Edward became the two stars floating around me as I prepared for school and I learnt many things about being a part Cullen...

It had seemed our little wonderland would last forever.

Xx~xx~xX

"So you go shopping monthly?" I asked him.

He was wearing shades-expensive ones and a shirt in a muted green colour. I had said he looked goofy when he had asked for my opinion and he had shrugged, stating that his care for fashion began and ended with Alice Cullen and as she wasn't around... he could get away with a faux-pas.

I laughed, saying his hair and the green were an odd contrast. And he pointed out that my eyes were green and my hair a similar shade to his... that had shut me up. My eyes, hair and skin were an odd contrast _together_.

"We'll, it will be monthly now" he sighed "Alice isn't here to force us to do it weekly"

"Weekly... huh" I mumbled, following him into the large department store, shoving my hands into my pockets. "Leah went to the vet?"

"You saw the note" he murmured.

"I thought we agreed you will pretend to _not _hear my thoughts" I grumbled.

"I am just wondering why you are asking about something you already know" he chuckled, not taking his shades of in the dim store.

I looked around us-at our reflection in a passing mirror; we were so entirely alike and incredibly different... he had convinced me to wear a dark green hoody (I think he may have a secret wish for a twin...) after failing to get me in a shirt and I had down right refused to leave the hoody down. It was pulled over my face and in the reflection-Edward was smiling knowingly while I seemed to be pouting...

"You are allowed to miss Leah" he chuckled and I frowned at the back of his head. "And you _are_ sulking... you _have_ been for about thirty minutes. Do you want me to call her so she can reassure you...?"  
>"I prefer you when you are broody" I snapped and he laughed out loud-a weird clear sound.<p>

"You are always broody too" he chuckled.

"I wonder were I get it from" I murmured, picking at a section with various hoody's and jeans.

"Hmm, Jacob was never the brooding type... just... angry..." he said thoughtfully "Maybe before he... well, hit his uhm... growth spurt..."  
>"You knew my father when he was kid?" I guffawed and he paused his retracting of anything I put in the basket back on the rack.<p>

"Not a kid... not really" he said slowly, not looking at me. "Just an irritating teenager who refused to stay in La Push"

"Freaky" I exhaled.

"Can we try something outside of jeans, hoody's and t-shirts?" he asked wearily.

"I am not dressing like a dork" I breathed. "You are really making me look bad..."

"Are you referring to the giggling happening at the other section of the story, in the ladies department" he asked amusedly.

"No" I lied, thinking how if I were with Leah-she would have tried to pimp me out.

"She pushes you to have girlfriend?" he asked.

"No mind reading for the last time!" I said too loudly and he shushed me.

"Okay, I apologise... not that I can help it" he said and I could imagine the smile in his eyes behind his dark shades. "I suppose we should continue the tradition?"

"What..." I asked and then caught on "No, we have no need to go over _there_..."

Xx~xx~xX

Today I learnt that my Cousin-Uncle-Grandfather Edward has a weird sort of humour and too much confidence after he stops being depressed about everything.

I also learnt that what I had thought to be a _dorky outfit_ somehow managed to make five college girls hover around us for thirty minutes and inadvertently do most of our clothes shopping for us. He was in a good mood-a very good mood-and although it made me feel good too, he was irritating. He was caught between asking me a thousand questions and demanding a thousand answers. I was not a good conversationalist to begin with... but it helped that I seemed to be the only person-I wasn't sure how far this went but it was nice thinking I was the only person-who could successfully hide his thoughts from him with a little effort.

"Are you hungry...?" he asked.

"Hmm" I breathed, tired of walking all over the place-buying random things and watching as Edward managed to attract every possible female we came in contact with, with little knowledge of the action. Even if I did try to get a girlfriend... I wouldn't do it with him as my wingman...

"I know a nice little restaurant..." he said, pushing his shades up slightly.

"Number one..." I said slowly "You don't eat. And number two... why are you wearing shades!"

"I have sensitive eyes" he smiled, leading me left of the street and grumbling that I was walking too slowly.

"That's a lie..." I scoffed.

"No, not really..." he chuckled, indicating that the next shop was the little restaurant in question "I have very sensitive eyes... not necessarily _bad _eyes"  
>"So what do the shades do then?" I asked him.<p>

"No, they don't stop my x-ray vision" he laughed, never completely staying out of my head. "That is such a Bella... uhm, let's sit at the back"

We walked in and a young woman tended to us, turning the whole way to glance at Edward-who was pointedly ignoring her exaggerated smiles and humming a tune. We sat at the back... we sat at the very end of the _empty_ restaurant...

"So what are _you _having?" I asked him, pushing the menu over to him. "I'll have what you are having"

"You are way too smart for your age, kid" he laughed.

"You are way too young for your age, Grandpa" I said deliberately and he laughed loudly.

"You like chicken..." he said flipping through the menu "Have the chicken peri-peri and pineapple pizza?"

"Are you having that too?"

"This is too strange" he murmured. "When I met... Isabella... she made me eat her pizza"

I frowned at him in confusion. Isabella wouldn't be able to eat-like him-so why would she be running around trying to get _him_ to eat _pizza._

"I am not even going to try and make sense of that" I sighed and he smiled sadly, his head still bowed as though he was reading the menu but I had learnt from Jasper that all the Cullen's could read a whole newspaper in mere seconds...

"Will Leah be joining us" I asked.

"Do you want me to call her and ask her if she wants to come?" he asked knowing full well that I didn't want to appear like some _baby _and _kid _for always wanting Leah around. I shrugged my shoulders and glared at the wall.

"It's okay for you to miss her" he murmured. "She will be very busy with work and you with school..."

"I am not missing her" I lied. "I saw her in the morning"

"Right" he chuckled.

"And what's with you and women anyway!" I deflected-trying to rile him up. It wasn't an easy thing do when he was so adamant at being sunshine and joy because of our hanging out. Even harder if I enjoyed hanging out with him just as much and felt guilty for always wanting to have Leah with me...

"What about them?" he laughed.

"All the... the..."

"Ladies" he wiggled his eyebrows and I couldn't help myself then from laughing. "It's a Cullen thing"  
>"Guess I got the short end of <em>that<em> in the genes department" I murmured-thinking that my Dad only seemed capable of scaring people when he was really a big softie with penchant for gardening and walks on the beach...

"You got the better end, Charles" he whispered. "Do you want a coke with your chicken?"  
>"Can we try for tequila?"<p>

"You can try all you want..." he laughed and then took his shades of finally, peering up at me before acknowledging the waitress with a smile "One coke and Chicken Peri-Peri Pizza"

"Only?" she asked and he laughed making her blush.

"Yeah, only"

"What's funny...?" I asked him when she stumbled away. "Are you getting some kind of high from that?"  
>"This day has been all about de já vu" he chuckled. "I wonder what it means"<p>

"It means you have lived it before" I said slyly.

"I know what... oh, never mind" he smiled. "My glasses are off"  
>"Hmm, yellow today" I said thoughtfully. "Maybe green tomorrow?"<br>"I am afraid the option of green has long flown out the window"

"Jasper's eyes were yellow today too" I said "You and him went hiking the day before..."

"We can go hiking tomorrow, if you want" he sighed.

"Will my eyes..."  
>"No, your eyes will always be green... thank God" he said sternly.<p>

"I guess that's you closing that chapter?"

"Yep" he said popping the 'p' like my dad used to in the good old days.

There were little markers that everyone did that reminded me they once lived together happily. Little things that had rubbed of all of them. Like how Leah and Rosalie refer to my dad as 'Fuzz-Ball' or 'His-Alphaness'... thinking they are talking in a code I can't dissect.

How Emmett says "Sure, sure..." A very 'Jacob Black' thing.

"Leah says you smell" I blurted.  
>"She smells too" Edward laughed, watching me closely like I was a bag full of goodies and excitement for his sole amusement.<p>

"No..." I sighed. "She says you don't bath... and I actually have never seen or heard of you taking a shower or anything"

"Do I smell to you?" he asked and I sighed, shaking my head.

"But dude, seriously... a shower is only five minutes..." I frowned.

"On the subject of showers..." he murmured and I blanched, quickly busying myself with my drink when it arrived-pulling on all my focus to block my shower-hour moments this morning.

"When are you going to wash your hair?" he asked and I sighed in relief-he frowned at my reaction and I guessed he was trying to pry into my mind now.

"I did wash my hair" I breathed, taking another sip of the drink.

"With soap?" he asked dryly.

"With water"

"It's oily" he said frowning. "Try shampoo..."

"It's my hair and maybe I like it oily" I said stubbornly.

"The oil is what is causing your break out" he countered, raising an eyebrow. "You have your hair all over your face, hiding your eyes... you are such a good looking young man"  
>I had to laugh at that; I always found it funny when he let his 'teenage self' go and revealed his true age.<p>

"You have been bugging me about my looks for a day straight" I mumbled through a mouth full of pizza. "I don't bug you about dressing like an accountant"  
>"You don't?" another eyebrow raise.<p>

"If it's in my thoughts it doesn't count" I murmured, drinking the cold drink. "And have you thought that maybe the break out is a sign of... I don't know, puberty for some of us _real teenagers?_"  
>"You have your father and mother's arguing methods" he said dryly and I shrugged.<p>

"Did you have bad skin once?" I asked.

"You would have to ask Carlisle that" he sighed.

"Did you ever have problems with... girls?"  
>"I never had time for them" he murmured.<p>

"So you were _kind_ of gay"  
>"How does 'not having time for girls' translate as gay?" he asked frowning and smiling at me simultaneously.<p>

"I am just wondering what you were doing with your time... how many years ago is it?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Now that there is _my _method of sourcing out information" he laughed. "Plenty of years Charles"

"Okay... uhm..." I thought for a minute and gave up, figuring that he would only answer in more non-answers. It still felt good that he tried to answer my questions... Leah always panicked and rambled before pitching and stuttering nervously till I gave up out of pity.

"What grade are you going to be..." I asked instead when the questions-that were plentiful before-ran out.

"With you?" he said frowning that I hadn't caught that little detail. "We will be in the same grade Charles... you are sixteen and I am seventeen"  
>"I am not sixteen yet" I murmured.<p>

"What are a few days, Charles?" he chuckled.

"Or a few years... till you are seventeen again"  
>"I get it..." he smiled. "You know... you can stop the allusion and innuendo's"<br>"But its fun!" I laughed.

"It is, isn't it" he smiled. "We should get you home... Leah might be having a mini panic attack too from being away from you"  
>"I was not having a panic attack"<br>"Yes..." he breathed. "You were only attacking _me_"

Xx~xx~xX

"...and they brought in this injured wolf..." Leah continued, dancing about the kitchen and making a production about fixing desert. It was only ice-cream... she only needed a scoop and two bowls-there was no need for all the hand gestures and smiling.

I get it, you are excited to be working somewhere and having something to do either than hovering around a fifteen...

"Sixteen" Edward murmured and I paused my internal ranting. He fixedly paid attention to Leah when I huffed angrily.

"Sixteen?"Leah asked.

"Lucky number" he murmured, pushing the glass bowl to me.

"You are so irritating" I murmured and Leah paused her scooping of the ice-cream to look at me in surprise. "I meant Edward"

"Whether he is irritating or not..." she whispered dangerously "You don't to say it out loud"  
>"He'll know even if I think it!" I hissed at her-confused at being so angry at her suddenly.<p>

"He has a point" Edward said dryly. "Ice-cream in Alaska?"  
>"Shut up" Leah hissed-pulled into my moody aura.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

It would be my birthday tomorrow.

Sixteen. For only one time.

There is nothing special about the number-I always associated sweet-sixteen with girls and Alice and Rosalie's phone calls from Spain (they never stayed for long in Alaska-it seemed more like they were checking on things than anything) were a serious of high pitched giggles on what I would like and what _Leah _would give me. Irritating Leah with her oblivion that I was not ready to start school-the day which happened to coincide with my birthday and her new job was keeping her away from me...

Not that I needed her. I didn't need her... or did I dream of her as the injured wolf... or feel terrified when she was away for too long... like some _animal _would hurt her in the animal hospital... there were only bunnies in there... no need to worry about Leah and feel...

"Are you going to get out of there any time soon?" she knocked hard on the bathroom door and I started, knocking my head on the open medicine cabinet door. "What's going on in there...!"  
>"Could you..." I stammered angrily, shutting the door with way too much force so it swung back and broke of on the one hinge. "Fuck"<br>"Charles..." she breathed in warning. "What is going on!"  
>"Can I have fifteen minutes to myself without you checking if I am drowning on my own spit!" I yelled and she shrieked, stomping down the stairs and I heard-something that I knew I was not supposed to be able to hear under any normal and natural circumstances to my biology-I heard her mumble about how this is how it had started with Seth.<p>

"... taking fifteen minutes to yourself... better make sure he doesn't waste it all for his hand..." her voice disappeared and I stared at the mirror in horror.

I felt like Peter Parker waking up the next morning after being bitten by the radioactive spider except... this wasn't great.

I looked like me-but more like _Dad._ My face wasn't as skinny and gauntly, my nose still managed to be too straight to fly as a Quileute and my eyes... I looked like me, like Edward except like... this wasn't making sense. I was too tall...

I shouldn't be this tall over night. My skin was riddled in angry pimples and although my face had filled out some-my eyes were larger. And darker... not bright green...

I guess this is why Sweet-Sixteen is only reserved for the girls.

Xx~xx~xX

"Stop staring" I grumbled, pouring more milk over my second helping of cornflakes. "Leah..."

"You..." she gasped, placing her hand over her mouth and _not _stopping her staring.

"It's a growth spurt" I mumbled, spilling milk from my mouth and cornflake bits. "You have a brother... you know about it"

"Yeah... I know about it" she whispered turning away and busying her self with the dishes. "Edward is here... he said he wanted to go hiking with you or something"

"Hmm" I shoved another spoon of cornflakes in my mouth and awaited Edward's silent entrance...

"Leah" he breathed, standing by the door and almost startling me.

"Hmm" Leah managed, washing the dishes too noisily. "I have... work... but maybe I should stay"  
>"You are so obviously telling him something with your thoughts" I groaned preparing a third bowl and finishing the milk.<p>

"No, just that..." she smiled a fake smile "Your asthma may act up with the hiking"  
>"I bet Edward knows how to do a <em>heart transplant<em>" I said derisively.

"I do" he said. "Have you checked his temperature Leah?"  
>"What!" I yelled pushing out the chair and they froze in fear and expectation. "The hell... what is wrong with you two today!"<br>"Let me check your temperature" Leah said calmly.

"With your hot hand?" I scoffed. "It's just a growth spurt... it's just a job you like and it's just high school and stupid sixteenth birthday. Why are you all being so weird!"

She placed her hand on my forehead anyway and I rolled my eyes. Her hot hand lay over my forehead for a second and she sighed in relief.

"Normal" she breathed.

"Normal" Edward repeated, all humour from the previous day gone. "Maybe we can stay inside instead..."

"Or maybe we can go hiking like you promised" I snapped.

"You didn't even want to go hiking yesterday" he said a feint smile on his lips.

"Maybe you and I will stumble on whatever magical place Leah likes to go to late at night" I hissed, storming out of the kitchen and ignoring their shocked expressions.

Xx~xx~xX

The trail was long.

I didn't mind; something about being away form the house felt good. Maybe the house had begun to feel like a prison or mental institution. Even with all the laughs Edward, Leah and I managed there was always that one factor looming in the corner like an elephant. Where was my father...? The Cullen's had started to leave their home almost like they were swapping turns for guard duty or something...? Why was I the freaky one among them with my normal age, normal sicknesses and muted senses.

Just normal Elephant's in the Room.

"...and he jumped right" I continued enthusiastically "And I was certain he was a goner... I mean, that cliff in La Push is really high! But Seth... he just emerged at the bottom, safe and sound. Of course I wasn't allowed to do that because of the asthma and I can't swim... I think Dad and Leah were just being their normal over protective fun poopers..."

"Hmm" He chuckled. "How dare they stop you from cliff diving just because you have _asthma_ and _can't_ swim?"

"Exactly!" I exclaimed ignoring his sarcasm "I doggy paddle really well!"  
>He laughed. He laughed hard and for a good fifteen minutes, closing his eyes but never missing a beat with out slow trekking through the dry cold woods.<p>

"... You want to hear more or are you going to give yourself a headache from all the laughing" I chuckled.

"I don't get headaches" he said dryly.

"Try listening to Leah singing..." I grumbled. "Now there's a headache machine"

"How is that going?" he asked mysteriously.

"What?"

"Pretending you don't miss her?" he said. "Just ask her if you can hang out at the hospital..."

"I don't like animals" I grumbled. "They get my allergies worked up"

"You aren't allergic to dogs" he stated.

"I think Leah is happy about that" I murmured, remembering our one neighbours Labrador she had fallen in love with. "She loves dogs but never gets one for a pet"  
>"That would be funny"<br>"I guess all our moving or something" I sighed and then stopped abruptly, Edward pausing and looking at me worried.

"My asthma..."

"It's acting up?" he asked, reaching in his pocket for my inhaler.

"No..." I whispered, feeling my neck. "No, not at all... how strange..."  
>"Strange indeed"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"It may have been her eyes I fell in love with" he whispered airily and I rolled my eyes, causing him to chuckle.

"You all have the same eyes" I sniggered. "You may as well have fallen in love with your own eyes, Edward"  
>"Her eyes were brown once..." he whispered detached-he was a thousand years away from me. "Like your mother's. Deep and wide and depthless... her skin pale..."<p>

"Guess she kept the skin"

"Guess she did" he said snapping out of his droning depression.

"What colour were your eyes once?" I asked him carefully, not really expecting an answer.

"Green..." he stated, moving ahead of me. "Exactly like yours... not as large. I have no idea were you get such large eyes..."

"All the better to see you, grandpa" I murmured but there was no humour left in me.

Xx~xx~xX

"So how exactly did Carlisle save Emmett's life?" I asked.

"I... okay, I am going to tell you Charles and I am trusting you to take what I say as it is and never repeat it"  
>"Yes" I said a little too excited and he frowned at me suspiciously "Oh, come on... I deserve to know my family history at least!"<br>"Rosalie saved Emmett from the bear" he said slowly and I felt my eyes widen "And then Carlisle saved Emmett's life by... healing the wounds"  
>"She shot the bear?"<p>

"Mhmm" he murmured, continuing up the mountain and then pausing abruptly-staring at a little clearing were there were no shadows and the sun filtered through easily, causing the snow to glisten.

"I sweat the weather man said it was overcast today" he hissed. "This is why I never bother with news when I have Alice Cullen... as reliable as a wolf not eating a whole pie..."

"Quil once ate a whole pie Emily had baked" I laughed. "She wasn't impressed..."

"My point exactly" he sighed. "We have to go around"  
>"Why!" I gasped-forgetting that I had promised myself to be well behaved and not show that hiking was working muscles that were not used to being worked.<p>

"I don't want to tan" he mumbled already moving deeper into the woods.

"You need to tan" I yelled at him. "Pale know-it-all telepath!"

"Very Bella" he laughed.

"It's _very_ Charles, thank you very much!"

Xx~xx~xX

"So Cullen's don't do sun?" I asked, huffing and grateful when he finally stopped.

"You got all of that because I wanted you to go the long way and do more exercising?" he asked.

"Yes..." I breathed, bracing myself on my knees and waiting for the wheezing to begin. "I did, actually"

"Have you ever considered that we _like _being pale" he asked arching his thick eyebrow.

"Rosalie goes on about how pretty my skin is" I murmured, ignoring the memory of how I thought she was talking bull because I happened to have a very big red pimple on my forehead that day.

"Rosalie loves babies" he shrugged. "It's a coochie-coochie catch twenty-two"

"Did you just call me a baby?"

"I said Rosalie likes babies" he smirked "It's your choice on how you want to decipher that piece of information, Charles"

"We reached the top" I huffed. "Let's go back... before you have to carry me home when I can't breathe anymore" 

Xx~xx~xX

The journey back was easy, Edward was back to his new happy self and humming different tones and promising to force-teach me to play them on his piano. I had almost forgotten that the next day was my birthday... and school. I had completely forgotten that Renesme Cullen had promised me she would see me on my birthday...

We were about fifteen minutes from the house when Edward had stopped suddenly. He had been exceptionally quiet for the past five minutes, moving slower and deliberate and giving terse answers to my questions.

"What is it...?" I asked but he didn't move. Literally remaining like a statue, not even his chest seemed o be moving as a sign of breathing... I thought he was having a stroke.

"Edward" I stammered, my blood rushing in my ears. He didn't acknowledge me... only remaining frozen in front of me.

It was then that I heard my mother and father's yelling from the house and just like this morning I knew I wasn't physically supposed to be hearing it. Nor was Edward... but he had been able to hear them for a good thirty minutes...

"Stay!" Dad begged.

"Jacob..." she whispered. "I am here for _him_..."

"Then stay for him!" Jacob shouted. "You want me away... I will stay in the fucking forest Renesme...!"

"I won't leave Nahuel!" she hissed. "Can't you understand that he gets me... why do you insist on this... Let it be!"  
>"Let it..." he roared. "You left me! You begged me for sex, you begged me for Charles and then you <em>left me...!<em>"

"Charles...?" Edward murmured and I realised I was shuddering, my vision popping and blurring. "You can hear that, Charles?"

"... you left us" Dad continued and I knew he was crying. "You left... with Bella to be with... Nahuel and his _father._ You and your mother left... to be... do you know how fucked up..."

"That is something you don't understand" Renesme breathed.

"I don't understand that my imprint left me to be with another man and managed to hook her married mother to said man's father?"

Edward was frozen again; his expression hard and unforgiving and I couldn't manage. The world was whirling and I could hear from the house that my mother knew someone was outside, now that they had paused their arguing momentarily. I knew this feeling... it had happened before when I had broken the dining table and Leah's vase.

I still hadn't gotten around to the vase...

It felt like blacking out only somehow I saw La Push; it was the dense forest and I was running through it too fast, the trees whizzing by. I blinked rapidly, wiling the vision of trees to desist and the heat and stinging in my veins to abate. They were rushing towards me-from the house-and after a second, I could see clearly again. I was on the forest floor and my body was on fire... it was another episode only Leah wasn't here. I could see my whole arm lying out before me, covered in leaves-I was sweating. The tendons stuck out angrily; dark black under my paling skin.

I was on fire... I was burning...

"Charles!" Renesme called.

"Move Edward, Nessie..." Dad mumbled, picking me up from the ground-I realised I was crying and groaning, the pain unbearable. "I'll get him inside, the telephone... that would be Leah"

"What happened to his clothes?" Mum cried. "Get him clothed... my baby..."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Uh, it took _another_ while... but it's getting done. The plot comes and goes. I thought I might as well establish Edward and Charles relationship while I work on the plot separately, so that's what this was. As well as an introduction to the imprint of Leah.**

**Anyhow...**

**Suggestions, likes, dislikes... queries and the such are always welcome and help to know were to improve in writing and plot so don't hold back.**

**Review... if you have something to say**

**Till next time, and I am praying it's soon...**

**Tj **


	11. What Makes Us Who We Are

_**Man's greatest battles are those that he fights with himself.**_

Xx~xx~xX

**WHAT MAKES US WHO WE ARE**

**X**

**RENESME C. BLACK**

**X**

"So you didn't think it was necessary to tell me he has these _episodes_" Renesme said softly, watching jealously as Charles subconsciously nudged his head into Leah's hand when Leah felt for his temperature "What are you even feeling for, Leah... your hot temperature wont allow you to read his temperature!"  
>"You know... I have found a way around that after raising him for sixteen years" Leah said gently, the words stinging Nessie even though Leah remained detached and unperturbed by her anger.<p>

"And I am checking..." Leah breathed, leaning back on the little chair at the other side of Charles bed, opposite Renesme "That his skin doesn't match my heat and remains cooler, do you understand that?"  
>"Oh" she breathed.<p>

"He has only done this one other time" Leah continued softly, reaching behind her-pulling Charles drawer open and rummaging through his many unnecessary items for the brush. "Only one other time and I didn't see... I just found him. I couldn't be sure what had happened"  
>"We didn't see anything either" Renesme said absently, looking away as Leah began to brush her son's hair-muttering something about how he needed to understand the benefits of shampoo...<p>

She knew Leah would protect him; she knew her defiant loyalty going beyond the imprint would ensure that and her violent compassion was exactly what Charles needed to grow up in this crafter world. That had been her one secret desire for her son; that he would not have her upbringing-no matter how picture perfect it had seemed. He wouldn't be coddled and who better to ensure that wouldn't happen that Leah...

She had wanted to be the one, still. But she was denied that by her own recklessness... her stupid reckless naivety. Now she had no innocence left...

"You should go and talk to Edward" Leah murmured, placing the brush on the table-never looking at Renesme directly-and proceeding to organise the untidy drawer, pulling comic books and small car figurines out.

"He has grown so much"  
>"More like overnight" Leah muttered. "Gave Edward and me a heart attack... well, me mostly with the beating heart..."<br>"Dad was talking...?" she asked. "He was _actually _talking..."  
>"Charles... "Leah sighed, stopping her busy movements and exhaling sharply "They are best buddies. Real wolves and vampires type of thing... pretending they are true enemies when all they want to do is have a barbeque together..."<p>

"Remember my barbeque" Renesme said absently, taking Charles large clammy hand in hers and clasping it gently but firmly. It was the worst gift she could give him... she thought. But it was better than leaving silently before he could see her.

_I am so sorry baby..._ she whispered into his subconscious.

"Do I remember that barbeque...?" Leah scoffed. "You guilted half of the pack to come... with your; "You don't accept me even though I am your alpha's imprint" sulk"

"I had friends there too" she mumbled.

"Fifteen year old girls you had promised there would be hot guys serving hot dogs" Leah laughed.

"Hmm" Renesme breathed, listening as Jacob made his way up the stairs slowly. "My baby... he is growing too fast"  
>"Not as fast as you did" Jacob murmured, standing in the door frame, his arms folded over his chest and eyes... she wouldn't look at his eyes. She couldn't look at <em>anyone's<em> eyes. "He isn't a baby or kid anymore..."  
>"Well, don't let him know that" Leah grumbled, picking up his clothes from the floor and flinging them angrily into his washing basket-swearing under her breath how Edward had promised to get him to clean his room and how she shouldn't have expected so much from a man who doesn't bath.<p>

"They... talk?" Renesme asked. "With Dad?"

"Best buddies, Nessie" she said again and then inhaled, letting the air out in one huge rant "He got him to heal... that son of yours is a miracle worker. And when he wakes up, he'll want to talk to Edward... and like hell I'm going to let my imprint mutter to a statue so you better make sure Edward starts moving and breathing and not taking up unnecessary space in my backyard as a garden ornament"

"He..." Nessie stammered.

"No, he won't move on his own" she said slowly, folding her arms over her chest like Jacob-except Leah wouldn't pretend she wasn't judging anyone. "Last time he went into vampire-shock mode... Rose said it was for a good two months"  
>"I don't know..." she began and Leah cut her swiftly, slicing her hand through the air and rolling her eyes in a 'no-nonsense' fashion Renesme had once seen Leah use on Charles many years ago when he was trying to lie to Leah about who ate her last slice of cake.<p>

"Look" she said dryly "I am not asking you to tell me what he heard that was so terrible he thought it was better to turn into 'the thinking man' and leave his grandson writhing on the ground and clawing his clothes off. I am asking you to ensure that when you leave-because I know there is no fucking way you are going to stick around... not you..."  
>"Leah..." Jake growled in warning and she ignored him, taking a step towards Renesme who shrunk back, holding Charles hands tighter.<p>

"When you leave, you will leave things as they are and not broken" she whispered her eyes flashing violently. "No more destruction Nessie... don't be like Bella. You either leave things as is or you start fucking picking up the pieces and healing a few wounds"

"You don't know anything about me" Renesme growled at her, dropping her sons hand and facing her. "You don't know the sacrifice..."  
>"A day away from Nahuel to be with your son!" Leah scoffed and Renesme saw Jacob cringe from the corner of her eye. "Shall we call you the new Nelson Mandela? You are so self-sacrificing...<p>

She didn't understand. It was the same... Renesme was in a prison and this was her one day off... she didn't understand and it had to stay that way. How else would Leah be able to protect him-to protect Charles and Jacob as good as she could?

"Go talk to Edward" Leah said coolly, her expression unrelenting. "He better move a finger by the hour... I swear..."

Renesme moved away from the bed slowly, her heart thudding too fast. She knew she wasn't exactly wanted here... she thought Jacob was misguided in his imprint, Charles... Dad... she walked past Jacob and he inhaled her scent so obviously, allowing her to move past him and once she was headed downstairs, she heard his sigh.

Xx~xx~xX

It was the sort of darkness that didn't inspire horror movies or fear.

That was what I had always loved about the Alaskan nights-stars and purple lights streaking over the skies. It was snowing slightly and it only made everything more beautiful. The snow felt pure under my shoes-the soft almost unheard crunch... the smell of the pine. There was little garden near the shed-everything was dead. Jacob wasn't bothering with this, if he was even staying here... he tended to spend more time as a wolf... I knew that much and it killed me. he had promised he would be human for Charles, hadn't he?

He is standing right by the fence were I had dragged him through the flimsy little back gate. There are two trudges dragging from beneath his feet and disappearing through the forest-I had to drag him like he was a piece of art work. He had literally froze-vampire trauma mechanism. I knew and it pained me to know it that he did this-he played statue-because he wanted to die. He wanted to die but maybe he hoped that one day things would change, and he could stand still in time waiting for that moment...

"Dad, wont you take a walk with me?" I tried but he didn't move.

His shirt ruffles around him, exposing palest white and his hair moved ever so slightly. His expression was neutral, his eyes cold and hard and distant. I would never know what he was thinking... if he was thinking.

"Thank you for being there for him" I whispered walking slowly over to him. I wove my fingers between his unrelenting ones and then opted to force them to wield-his strength much more than my own and I had to try really hard. I clasped his hand adamantly and readied myself.

I was going against all the rules mother had said were necessary... but Mother was liar and I had been a fool. They were never to know of the things we had gotten tangled up in... But this was _my _Papa and I wanted to heal him like Charles-to heal him were Mother had hurt him.

"Do you remember the barbeque Alice threw for me?" I asked him. The wind howled in response.

"I'll tell you if you have forgotten Papa" I murmured, looking at the stars. "Vampires never forget... but they neglect to remember at times..."

Xx~xx~xX

Jacob had been working as a mechanic in the town we were living in. He had done this stubbornly only because Mother had refused for him to do so. She had said it was unnecessary and Father had agreed with her naturally-he was the one sent to reason with Jake and Jake dropped it in the end. He changed after that... he was easily riled up, ready for an argument with Dad or Mother. He began talking to me more about life, La Push and _things_...

He was working on his rabbit-yet again-this one day. It was always breaking down and it was because he insisted on buying the parts in garage sales and sourcing them out in scrap yards. I was sitting on the wooden table in the garage; it had too many metal bits and tools and spanners, oil spills and other food stains on it. I loved that table because he loved it... I was probably thirteen or fourteen years physically and I had started to realise a few things about the love Jacob and I had.

He loved me exponentially, I knew that. I was his 'Nessie' and he was my 'Jacob'. But I also realised that he loved me in a way most men never love women, a way that was too powerful to be contained by any human man... but in his intricate love, he somehow missed the _one _way all men love women. It was okay then, it didn't really matter... I wasn't worried about such things... I didn't worry about it for too long.

"Rosalie goes to this website for parts" I stated, watching as he ducked under the bonnet, mumbling about the engine needing this and that and something about break fluid.

"Nessie..." he had said sternly, pausing his movements but not looking at me "We are never to forget the things that make us who we are... just because we have time and money"

I didn't add on to that. I was smart-how many times had Mother and Papa told me that, Rosalie praising me and Alice worshipping my beauty. I was smart and it irked me when he would say things, answer my questions or statement with things I felt didn't tie in to the conversation. And he did it with such finality, as though his random answer would answer _anything. _If I asked him for the time, I was sure he would reply in that same statement and I would be just as boggled.

In my little ignorant bliss I overlooked the fact that I wouldn't understand certain things because I was a four year old in a fifteen year old body. Mind being adaptive or not... my emotions remained tied into that youth. But no one knew that... till it was too late, I suppose. Till I left Jacob for Nahuel and my innocent ignorance and pompousness was exploited beyond recovery...

"Are you enjoying school?" he asked.

"Yeah... I wish you were there with me, though" I sighed, swinging my legs and watching him move about the garage, fussing over every little metal piece and the rabbit.

"I am too old for school" he mumbled, ducking under the car and wrenching at something.

"Mother said no sane parent would allow their daughter to marry an uneducated man" I said and he scoffed from under the car.

"She is just saying that because her husband is over qualified" he laughed and I laughed too-the sound of his low chuckle and my high one filling the space beautifully.

"So tell me about your friend..." he murmured. "What's her name...?"  
>"Amber?" I asked.<p>

"No, the other one... the one with the irritating laugh" he sighed.

"Oh, _Laura_..." I murmured, watching as my legs swung and then looking over to his legs.

They were hairy and the calves muscled. I hated how different our skin was... I wanted my skin to be like Leah's... I wanted to have Leah's hair and her eyes and her scowl... and maybe have Jacob laugh at everything I say like he did with her-even when she didn't seem to be joking. Like when she had said I looked like this one red-haired vampire my father had once killed. That wasn't funny at all... but he had laughed, nudging my side gently so I would laugh too-and I had laughed and it had stopped me from getting angry.

"Yeah, her... how is she?" he asked.

"She had her period this week" I growled. "I _smelt_ it"  
>"Ew, Nessie" he said and I didn't need to see his face to know the violent grimace on it.<p>

"Her and... a whole lot of other girls" I continued my rant, ignoring his request for a topic change. "Talking about _synchronization..._ bloody show offs"

"Okay, that was weirdly and disgustingly funny" he gasped, laughing. "_Bloody_... show offs"

"I want my period" I sulked and he coughed.

It was a problem of mine since I was a child; competitiveness and being petty even when I had everything. Leah said I may look like Edward but I was my Mother's child through and through... I had smiled at her forgetting she never gave compliments.

"Pass me the twenty-two..." he murmured and I passed the tool to him vampire fast-placing it in his expectant hand. "So... I heard something about a ball?"  
>"Hmm" I mumbled-going into what Leah called 'Brooding Edward Mode'.<p>

"Do you have a date" he asked.

"Ten boys asked me in the first day" I sighed. "I just can't make up my mind..."

"Oh, the _teenage drama_" he laughed, pushing himself from under the car. "Maybe you need to get them all together and make a selection"  
>"Your shirt has oil all over it" I sighed and he looked down at it frowning.<p>

He groaned, muttering something about wash-day and pulled at the hem, pulling it up slowly and stretching his back to get it over his head-covering his face but leaving his entire defined front exposed. I started in shock, my hand hitting one of the spanners when I pushed it abruptly over the table and it went flying with too much velocity to the other side of the garage, ricocheting of the wall and pranging the side of the rabbit.

He was beautiful... he was... what type of beauty was _that_. How could one man be entirely pure and clean and yet wheedled such vileness out of my mind and down my spine... electricity coursing through my veins and ending up pooled in my...

"What happened!" he asked loudly, throwing the shirt to the side and not noticing my odd flicking movements to _not_ look at him. "What was that?"

"Something fell" I mumbled, running my hands over each other and crossing my legs tightly.

"Oh, the paint... oh no...!" he cried. "Oh, you just know Blondie is going to do her 'I told you so' dance"

Xx~xx~xX

It sounds strange I suppose, coming from a beauty so revered. But Jacob's love began to feel like a curse-the sweetest addiction; I was chasing a high that I could never ever claim. A high that I only read about, heard about... never felt. I wanted to feel it... this exponential love of his-although lacking in one little area.

I envied my human friends of their hormone fuelled boyfriends.

The adoration of many a male did not even begin to substitute even a tenth of what Jacob was capable of... if he let himself. Why wouldn't he _let_ himself...?

I had been so sure it was Leah... and it had been because of the barbeque really...

That silly barbeque I had organised-that Alice and my Mother had convinced me was necessary to seal my title as Queen at the ball. That silly inconsequential barbeque were Jacob had over looked my short shorts and low cut tank top in favour of roughhousing with Leah... his attention entirely rested in making her comfortable because she didn't have enough etiquette to at least pretend she wanted to be any were but my barbeque.

Flirting with Seth hadn't helped-I didn't know how to flirt to begin with and Seth was terrified of his Alpha... or maybe Papa. This had felt played out, how many birthdays had I celebrated that year... I always had to fight for his attention.

But it had been that one little comment by Laura...

"_They are such a cute couple"_

What else could I do then but turn to vile teenage pettiness born from frustrated supernatural teenage hormones. Alerting Mother that Leah was interrupting the evolvement of my imprint seemed logical. Isabella did nothing to correct my wrong hypothesis and that only came into perspective much later after the chaos...

A chaos whose root was hidden from Papa so slyly by her shielding.

So it was alluded that Leah was too involved. So I _disrupted_ her and Jacob...

She had the option to return my pettiness-I was so sure she would. All she did was huff irritably and proceed to exit our lives in fractions... I thought it was a sign of victory.

It was a warning of strange happenings... and I found too late why Jacob was unable of allowing himself to love me the way I required of him.

Xx~xx~xX

I tried and I tried and my hard work paid of eventually.

One might call it manipulation and maybe coercion-but it gave me my high. I got my high.

And was it not short lived?

Mother was furious. Mother said I was horrible... and then she _changed_. She said I should continue on my path... and she was always right back then.

The details matter not-I chose to not remember them for my sanity but I am sure Papa has long since learnt of their ant like trail through minds and ingenuity. The details... not even Jacob knew and as I held his hand in the snow letting my mind flow into his through the touch... I realised it may very well be the last time I could do such a thing if they found out I _told_. Hold my father's hand...

Details...

It was as simple as being in love. It was as simple as having your heart broken-the worst kind because Jacob could never _betray_ me. He broke my heart by loving me all _wrong_... he broke my heart with a _memory_. A memory that wasn't even mine-he broke my heart by a past event that he contained with my Mother. He broke my heart with a love he had never given to me but had given to my _mother_.  
>After trying to be what he needed so he could be what I needed and to learn this... to learn I had been competing with a dead woman-the human Isabella. To learn this... after Charles... to learn this after tying so desperately to give him what I thought any man craved. A wife so beautiful, a house so wonderful, a friend so loyal and a baby boy.<p>

But it was learning this from my mother that spun my world over.

"It was kiss..." she whispered, this had been after I had informed her Leah would be godmother. "I thought you deserved to know..."

I am not sure if my _deserving to know_ entailed her describing the type of man Jacob had been with her. His fervour and recklessness with his love for her, his resolution to have her love him... his soul and fire all for her. It felt like she was telling me that that side of him had died when he imprinted on me and she had stopped having a beating heart and I was to accept what I got.

She could be most wicked and petty when she didn't get her way, my mother. Rosalie sealed any doubts I had that every flicker of her eyes on him or smile and push to touch his too hot skin-she had wanted him in the end. The magical story of her love for my father that I was told as a child was desecrated once I pieced together the real version of Edward and Bella's epic...

She had two loves vying for her and she had chosen her knight in shining armour-her dazzling vampire and after an imprint and venom change too late; she could not go back when she realised what she wanted. Or realised she wanted both simultaneously but now was forced to deal with only one.

And Papa could be easily veiled of the truth with his crutch of telepathy. Telepathy had made him lazy in the end, to use mental perspective... and it was all too late.

I had run to Nahuel who had always promised me a love to _die _for and Mother had to deal with Jacob not caring for her ever again with the inclusion of Charles in the small radius of his imprint. She had to deal with Leah being unmovable and impossible to bully when it came to her imprint on my son...

Mother had to deal with not having what she wanted and in the end, she actually couldn't deal.

Xx~xx~xX

So I went to Nahuel and he showed me a physical love.

And that physical love turned so suddenly to something vile that worked its way to my bones and disgusted me when I _enjoyed _it. It was like finding love... and finding hate at the same time. There is a world beyond the one crafted by civilised vampires-a world of wars and manipulation and human slaves. A world where the word _species _is pronounced as _gold._

I shouldn't have gone to him. He introduced me to that glamorous dangerous world-I told him of my son. He told his father of my son and husband. His father told my Mother she could have it all-when she wandered into the wild searching for the one thing that had always been hers-me. She promised she wouldn't give in. She said she just wanted a taste... and all was forgiven.

She can be so naïve... her gift of shielding was coaxed off her and Joachim's daughter used her gift of persuasion to have her infiltrate Volterra-a spy Aro could never see into their mind.

.

As long as Charles remained normal and Jacob away from me they would not end up dealing with petty jealous _dangerous _lovers with evil resourceful obsessed fathers who had the world influenced and panicked to discover and own the unknown breeds emerging.

A world dangerously glamorous full of blood, humans and the word _species _is pronounced as _gold_.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**LEAH CLEARWATER**

"Where is she..." he rasped sitting up and pushing my hands away-he glass of water swaying and tipping liquid on the bed.

"She left, buddy" Jacob murmured. He hadn't needed to follow Renesme this time around-running like a mad wolf the last time they had had their annual fight; trying to catch her before she hit the water... This time was different-he had let her go, he had let her stand in the snow with Edward for an hour at the back of the house and opted to remain watching his son and talking about the week to come with school and work.

"She left"

I started, turning around to stare at Edward standing still in the doorway, his eyes flat and black and face a mask of wariness. She had gotten him to move... what the hell had she said to get him to move or more importantly to _freeze_...

"She left for South America?" Jacob asked in fake calmness-forcing Charles to drink water with a stern look the boy couldn't ignore.

"Yes" Edward murmured. "And I am going to go to get her"  
>"Are you insane!" I hissed. "She wants to stay with the <em>fucker<em>..."

"She wants to be with Jacob, with her family but there are..." he said dangerously low "There are circumstances. And I want to get my daughter... and I won't be an idiot about it. It has to be planned. I have to plan it. I have to heal and plan it... and make sure Charles is safe.

"She told you this?" Jacob scoffed.

"She showed me this, Jacob" Edward whispered. "There is something else"  
>"Something else she told you" I asked derisively.<p>

"He phased"

"What?" Jacob and I asked simultaneously, Charles moaning in the background that he was too hot for all the blankets on him.

"He phased" Edward repeated softly-too low for human ears but I could tell Charles was listening. "Not completely... and it hurt him. More than what you showed me in your mind, Jacob... of a wolf's first time. He was hurting... badly. Like he was... like he was _changing_."  
>"Changing...?" I said automated.<p>

"Venom" Edward breathed. "He was reacting like he was turning..."

"You told Nessie this?" I asked my voice shaking. I ignored Charles question on what it was we were talking about and his smart remark that if it was about him he deserved to know followed by a comically long yawn.

"No..." Edward said carefully, watching Jacob's wide staring. "Her thoughts are not safe... she has taken a big risk to explain to me some of what is happening. I cannot ignore it, she is my _daughter_..."  
>"Ignore what?" Jacob asked too loudly, his frame quivering. "She wants to be with me but she is with Nahuel? What is there to fucking <em>ignore<em>..."  
>"I have just woken up...!" Charles grumbled, pulling a pillow over his face. "And you are shouting and refusing to let me know what..."<p>

"She is in danger, Jacob" Edward whispered. "Serious danger and believe me when I say everything she has done has been for you"  
>"Excuse me when I say..." I laughed sarcastically. "Bull-fucking-shit"<br>"You know of the scar on her neck?" Edward asked Jacob and he looked away. "You can't tell me you believed her reasons for the scar, Jacob"  
>"She... loves me?" Jacob murmured confused.<p>

"For always..." Edward whispered. "But first... Charles"  
>"Are you certain he phased" I whispered sitting at the foot of Charles bed and watching as he tried to piece the fast talking together; his eyes moving from face to face sleepily but determined.<p>

"Certain his body was trying to" Edward said. "We need Carlisle... we need the Cullen's..."  
>"We need the pack" Jacob breathed.<p>

I didn't know how to feel. The past week had been too surreal between Charles moods and Jacob's insistent refusal to phase and Edward's exponential recovery. I didn't know how to feel... but as I stared at Charles-stared at his longer face and broader shoulders-still too skinny, pale and pimply to be taken seriously as any potential phasing Quileute-I knew that we would be heading into war for him.

The only thing to keep Nessie away from what she wanted was if the thing she valued most was threatened.

Charles and Jacob were not safe.

**AUTOHORS:**

**See, I really tried and updated super fast!**

**Now, you know the game; review your thoughts, suggestions, likes and dislikes and I love concrit. Its angsty and slightly dark-it is about the dark side of imprinting... and having controlling mothers who kissed your boyfriends... issues!**

**Till next time**

**tj**


	12. Legendary Family Secrets

**Disclaimer, disclaimer and if you don't know by now... it all belongs to Stephanie Meyer... minus Charles.**

**LEGENDARY FAMILY SECRETS**

**Xx~xx~xX**

"How are you feeling?"

What type of stupid question was that...?

How was I feeling? Hmm, somewhere along the lines of being run over by a train, dragged over gravel road afterwards and then some sadistic demon that ruled over my life had decided to pour salt and lemon juice over my body to finish things of.

"Fine" I grumbled, tugging the duvet back from Dad's hand and pulling it over my head, hiding from the too bright sunlight.

"Feels like a hangover, huh?" he laughed uneasily. "The painkillers are wearing off..."  
>"Hmm" I breathed, wishing the rushing sound would desist. It felt like there was something thundering right by my ear and with each thump, there was an insistent droning like water moving through a hose pipe too fast and with too much pressure...<p>

"This is not the first time" I breathed sluggishly "I will be fine, I just need a few days... could you... could you not hover. Leah doesn't hover..."

"I am your _dad_" he said in a small voice. "I don't know how _not_ to hover"  
>"You were doing a perfectly good job of not hovering for the past <em>twelve years.<em>.." I snapped-feeling the edges of sleep returning. "Just continue from there..."

"Oh" he stammered and I immediately felt bad, but he was not going to leave any other way. I felt the bed bounce up as he got up fluidly, his shoes scraping over the wood and then shuffling further to the door. "I'll be down stairs... if you need anything"  
>"I know, I'll call" I sighed.<p>

"Take it easy" he murmured and as soon as he closed the door, I was out cold.

Xx~xx~xX

It's funny how when you oversleep, I mean _really _overdo the resting thing-you wake up feeling _tired._

My eyes were puffy and I didn't bother trying to open them fully; I just sort of peeped from the little slit I managed. I could feel my joints creaking as I swung my limbs over so I was sitting on the edge of the bed and every muscle that was forced to work due to the movement aching beautifully.

"Ngh" I rubbed my head. The rushing sound hadn't desisted and the hammering was down to a slow steady thump.

"I am up" I muttered to myself. "I am awake... this is not a dream. I have to... get ready for school... today is my birthday"

I sighed and fell back on the bed, giving up on moving. If I was going to go to school-they'd have to manually bath, cloth and take me there.

Xx~xx~xX

"Charles?"

"Hmm" I groaned, flipping my arm over my eyes. "Everything _smells _in here!"

"Uh, open a window...?" Leah stuttered. "I have breakfast?"

If I had thought that I had no energy left in my body, I was wrong. I bolted upright and as if my stomach was in on the act-it grumbled loudly.

"Are you dressed?" Leah asked and I groaned a yes.

The door opened slowly and the tray came in first. Eggs, toast and bacon-the smell wafted over to me and I could feel my mouth flooding with saliva. Leah had an apron on and her eyes locked with mine timidly and she started, gulping a little before torturing me by walking over slowly towards me.

I let her place the tray on my bedside table-thinking about just snatching the thing from her hands-and she placed her hand on my forehead; every movement she made was awkward and I knew I should have been alerted that something wasn't right but I couldn't think with the food in the room...

"No school today again" she breathed, stepping back from me and indicating with a flick of her eyes that I could take the food. "Edward and J-uh, your _Father_-are downstairs. Carlisle and Esme are coming home today... I think Rose and Alice have already arrived. Seth is on his way..."  
>"For my birthday?" I asked my mouth full of food.<p>

"Your birthday was yesterday" Leah whispered. "Happy belated"

"I was asleep for a day?" I mumbled, not stopping with the food stuffing, watching as she made it a point to not look at me.

"Hmm" she breathed, walking over to the round large window and opening it "Maybe take a shower, okay..."

She left quickly, taking the tray with the empty plate with her and shutting the door. I was still chewing with a piece of toast in hand. I sniffed myself experimentally-I smelt stuffy. The room smelt of all sorts of things... maybe that put her off.

Xx~xx~xX

It was only when I stood under the shower nozzle did I realise that the world had shrunk. That I was living in some alternate reality were everything had been chopped short by an inch and suddenly painted in vigorous colour by God.

The shower was warm. I had the faucet turned all the way to hot but all I could feel was warm water raining over my back. It still helped a great deal to relax some of my tensed muscles and when I finally did pry my eyes open-the light shocked me.

It was just too bright. I rotated around in the shower cubicle in confusion-my head was way too high up; the edge of the glass doors easily aligned with my height now. The tiles had changed colour and I realised suddenly that I had been neglecting to clean them and there were little grime trails in the crevices of the cement joints. I picked at it experimentally and frowned at the dirt that got lodged under my nail.

"Hmm, she was right" I breathed. "You do have to clean the shower after you use it"

Xx~xx~xX

The muscle relaxation only lasted the shower. The moment I moved from my bathroom to the bedroom-everything hurt again. It was a sharp aching and it bothered me how familiar the pain had become; as though my insides were wound up and tensed but it was such a regular thing that it didn't really disturb my mind.

My room was cleaned when I got in-I almost missed the tidiness while I convulsively rubbed the side of my head and prayed internally for the throbbing headache to desist. Everything was organised, the windows opened wide and the air sifting through freely. I paused my mumbling about headaches and broken geysers putting out cold water to stare at the too organised room. I had only taken a ten minute shower today-Leah never went overboard with cleaning after me. She always left enough mess to moan at me about and heckle me while I was cleaning it up...

And Dad wouldn't see a mess even if we moved to a junkyard.

"Edward" I breathed, feeling the cool air sifting through the sheer curtains.

They were acting like I had just woken up from a comma-after three years.

Xx~xx~xX

Jasper and Emmett never come over to our house.

I always put it down to Leah always muttering about bleach smells. The Cullen's were not dirty at all so she had no reason to start hinting that she would need to do spring cleaning and air everything every time they came. Maybe it was testosterone overload or something...

"You look clean" Jasper greeted from between Emmett and Edward on the three-seater.

"Uh, thanks" I mumbled. I stood unsure in the doorway of the lounge, all of them watching me like _I _was the _guest _here, in my _own house_. Or like I had a giant purple dinosaur named Barney sitting on my head... the television was off but they had all been staring at it. Leah was at the other side of the lounge, looking obsessively out the window-that awkward anxiousness etched over her face and her arms holding her frame possessively.

"Uh, why don't you borrow some of my sweatpants?" Dad offered, rising from his couch and moving past me to go upstairs. "You look ridiculous in those tight hipsters"

Xx~xx~xX

"You need a new wardrobe" Dad chuckled.

It was too strange. Everyone downstairs was showing different levels of agitation and aloofness. Leah... looked terrified about something and Edward had downright ignored my presence-he always said 'hi' first. He always ended up sprawled on my bed going on and on about some irrelevant topic to do with past politics or music and art.

But what made it stranger was _Jacob Black._ He was here-in the same room with all three Cullen males without as much as a frown. He had sat there in his chair holding a newspaper as though the little congregation of people watching a blank television screen was normal. And more importantly he was at ease-the epitome of calm and cool as he rummaged through his few clothes in his sparsely furnished room and spoke about Adidas pants and going shopping with me soon.

"What is going on, Jacob" I asked anxiously, looking at the door-half expecting to see _everyone _standing there and staring at me.

"Father, Dad or Papa" he frowned at me seriously. "Pick one"

"Papa?" I laughed-an abrupt nervous sound.

"It's what Nessie..." he paused scrunching his face up. "Okay, drop that one... it's a bit girly"

"Dad" I murmured, pulling my pants down and putting on the pants he handed me. "It's Dad... I call you that most of the time, anyway. Why so touchy now?"  
>"You seem to forget that sometimes" he said dryly.<p>

"Forget...?"

"That I am your _father_" he said looking at me severely. "I know I haven't been the best fathers out there... but this is me trying and at least try along with me"  
>"What is this about?"<p>

"Some comments are highly _unnecessary_, Charles" he said folding his arms over his chest-I shrunk back feeling a little embarrassed, remorseful and slightly worried at the obvious certainty and collected emotion radiating of Jac-_Father_. He seemed a little... happy.

"I apologise" I murmured, not looking at him. "But... what is _going on_?"

"You have been sick" he said calmly-as though he was just talking about a regular flu in comparison to the grim apprehensive looks on everyone's face downstairs-they seemed to think I had caught the Ebola virus or leprosy.

"Right... you would think everyone would get used to _that_ by now" I scoffed and he smiled at me.

"They are just being dramatic as usual" he said cryptically and I heard a loud cough from downstairs. "Don't worry about it, it's perfectly normal..."

This time it was a definite hacking that sounded like _Jacob._

"Anyway, let's go downstairs... to everyone" he rolled his eyes "And I'll tell you about it"

Xx~xx~xX

"I know the story" I sighed, reaching for the remote and then pausing when Dad growled.

"Well, you are going to hear it again" he snapped.

"Fine" I grumbled, trying to make eye contact with Leah-this would be the part were we both rolled our eyes at another 'Elder of the Quileute' act, like when Sam used to do it... but she remained seated on the beanbag and staring out the window; her expression unrelenting in its bid to remain twisted in worry.

"Maybe Jasper, Emmett and Edward are interested in Quileute Folklore" I grumbled, sitting down petulantly and trying not to look at Leah again-if she was ignoring me, I would ignore her too-trying to wash out the feeling inside of me, the abrupt anger...

It dissipated as soon as it arrived and I was left with the strange gnawing feeling that whatever the tale of the Quileute legend's relevance was-it was tied in with Leah's frantic eyes and possible impending global doom.

"Many years ago..." Dad began, closing his eyes and his voice taking on a low textured quality that was reminiscent of Granddad Billy "The Quileute's were believed to be descendants of great wolf spirits..."  
>"That's not the story I was told" I sighed and Leah finally stopped staring out to the snowy outside.<p>

"What story did you hear?" Dad asked. "That's the only relevant story in Quileute history... Leah..."  
>"Hey, you're <em>wives<em>..." Leah hissed, pointing at Edward and Jacob "Told me not to tell him and you agreed all too willingly and made Billy and every elder subsequently keep that tale hushed"

"Huh?" I looked at Dad and his eyes flipped to the top right in thought and then recollection dawned on him.

"What did you hear?" Edward breathed and before I could voice out an answer he said quickly "He was told two tales; one about the power of the moon and another about a magical pole that lead to burial grounds... I think, can't really hear his thoughts..."  
>"Right" Dad sighed while Emmett muttered how the suspense was killing him.<p>

"Well, Quileutes are believed to be descendants..."  
>"Is that why you are worried Leah?" I blurted cutting Dad. She blinked at me and looked over to Dad before smiling weakly.<p>

"Let Jacob continue..." she whispered. "This is important... and pay attention"

"I am not sure I appreciate the tale making me out like a bad guy" Emmett said.

"They know the story?" I asked Dad and he groaned.

"Will you let me get on with the initiat... uh, the story!" Dad growled. "No interruptions. Charles, this is serious..."  
>"It's a Quileute coming of age thing?" I asked looking around me nervously. They all knew and I didn't...<p>

"You'll know too if you let your Father continue" Edward murmured.

"Yes, Charles... it's a sort of coming of age thing" Leah said smiling a little more solidly at me. "Just... stay cool and listen"

Stay cool and listen.

Xx~xx~xX

_It was many years, decades and centuries in the past when a small group of men and women travelled over the lands to find a place to call home._

_The world was old then and the old world held many different creatures and beings with extraordinary talents and minds. Though these travelling people were ordinary, they had their passion and love for each other to keep them safe and united. They travelled after being driven from their lands by other larger tribes._

_And it came that they found a place to call home._

_And it came that the other creatures that had ignored them before grew jealous in their contentment with their quite steadily growing little village by the sea-they grew jealous of the women in the village with their beauty, they grew jealous of the laughter of the children and they grew jealous with even the ordinary lives that the villagers conducted with each day. _

_And it is from then, when the creatures became petty-that a need for spirit warriors grew._

Xx~xx~xX

_Taha Aki was the last Great Spirit warrior of the Quileute's. By then, the other neighbouring tribes of the Hohs and Makah's had made treaties with the Quileute's-wanting nothing to do with the magic that coursed through the Quileute's little tribe._

_A spirit warrior-the ability to move the spirit from the physical body to wonder through the natural world unseen or living through the spirit world. To leave ones body in a sleep like state... It was Taha Aki who changed the term Spirit Warrior for the Quileute's._

_After being tricked of his body by a treacherous soldier and Taha Aki entered his spirit into a loyal beautiful wolf._

_When a loyal soldier discovered what had happened and entered the spirit world to communicate with Taha Aki, the impostor chief sought to keep the truth at bay and killed the man's physical body thus sending him to the ancestral lands. Taha Aki was enraged-for he loved his people and warriors greatly-and when he returned to the wolf's body, that love and anger he had and that rage for the oppressor of his people was all too human for the wolf body._

_The greatest magic happened as Taha Aki merged with the wolf-the wolf shuddered and shimmered and before the yes of the people; it transformed into a man. The new man did not look like Taha Aki-he was glorious and magnificent-the flesh representation of Taha Aki's spirit and his warriors recognised him at once, for they had flown with him in the spirit world._

_The impostor chief tried to run but Taha Aki had the strength of the wolf coursing in his new human body and easily crushed the spirit of the treacherous soldier before it could escape into the spirit world. _

_And after the tribe rejoiced at having their true noble chief returned-he put an end quickly to the spirit travels knowing how seductive the ability to steal a life would be. It was from this point that Taha Aki was more that ether wolf or man-he was known as The Great Wolf. Taha Aki fathered many sons and some of them found that they too could transform into wolves when they reached the age of manhood. The wolves were all different because their spirit wolves reflected the man they were in the inside._

_Some of the sons became warriors with Taha Aki and they no longer aged while some found that they did not like the transformation and halted it-aging in the process. He married three wives in but it was in the third he found his true **spirit **wife and it was then he found the will to give up his wolf-form._

Xx~xx~xX

_The Makah's one day, spoke to the Quileute of trouble that had come to their lands. Several of their young maidens had gone missing and they blamed it on their neighbouring tribe and the giant wolves that protected them-they had always feared and mistrusted the Quileute warriors. The warriors could read each other's thoughts when they were in their wolf form and the warriors knew that none of them were to blame for the disappearances._

_As Taha Aki was no longer a warrior, his son Taha Wi decided to lead the warriors to investigate the disappearances. He led five other wolves in a search through the mountains and they came across a sweet strange scent that burned their noses. They followed the smell and they found the scent of a human and blood with it. Taha Wi sent his younger brother and half of the pack to report their findings._

_It was the last they would hear from Taha Wi and Taha Aki knew after a year, his son would not return._

Xx~xx~xX

_A year later, two Makah maidens disappeared from their homes on the same night. The Makah's-after believing that the Quileute were not responsible for the previous missing maidens due to Taha Aki's mourning of his sons-came to the Quileute with the news._

_The sweet stench was all over the Makah village and the wolves went on the hunt at once. Only one came back-he was Yaha Utah, the oldest son of Taha Aki's third wife. He brought something with him that hey had never seen in all their days as Quileute's-a strange stony corpse that he carried in pieces. All who were of Taha Aki's blood-even those who had never been wolves-complained of the sweet smell._

_The young wolf described how the creature looked like a man but was as hard as granite with the two Makah girls. His white lips were covered in blood and his eyes glowed red. Yaha Utah described the fierce strength and speed of the creature and how easily it tore apart their little pack. they had to reach the limits of their wolf strength and discovered only their teeth could harm the creature. The creature was as hard as stone and as cold as ice and they had to rip it apart piece by piece while they fought it. and even then, when Yaha Utah ripped its head of-its hands continued to mangle his last brother._

_In the end, he had destroyed the creature..._

Xx~xx~xX

_He returned the remains and laid them down to be examined by the elders. As they prodded the remains, the hand reached out to the arm and tried to reassemble itself. Horrified, the elders set fire to every piece till there was nothing but ashes. These ashes were cast far and wide and Taha Aki kept a pouch around his neck so he would be alerted if ever the creature did awake and try to reassemble itself._

_They called it the Cold one. The blood drinker._

Xx~xx~xX

He paused then, his eyes closed and breathing even.

I had been staring at him through out his storytelling. The pause shocked me and I was brought back to my surroundings, my heart hammering in my chest and palms tingling. The room was quiet, every one motionless and pointedly not looking at me.

"There is more to that particular legend" Dad murmured "But it is the last... well, not really last tale I guess. We kind of added a bit more to history with Bella, eh Edward"  
>"Hmm" Edward murmured stiffly.<p>

"Anyway..." he sighed, taking a sip of his drink-it seemed to be non-alcoholic today. "They returned"

"They returned?" I croaked and then coughed away the tightness that was constricting my throat.

"Not the same ones... just to clarify" Emmett muttered. "_Good ones_"

"Good ones" I repeated dumbfounded.

"Long after the Quileute warriors had defeated the red-eyed Cold Ones..." Dad continued and Leah coughed indicatively and he frowned. "Huh?"  
>"<em>Vampires<em>" Leah breathed smoothly, not removing her eyes from the window. "Stop the Elder Jargon... Long after the _werewolves..._"  
>"Shapeshifter's" Edward said ominously.<p>

"Just because you threw that one in last minute at the Volturi non-Showdown..."Leah growled, glaring at Edward-her eyes moving past me swiftly. "Doesn't mean you have to push it on us... _anyway, _Jacob... call it what it _is_"

"The Vampires returned" Dad said tetchily-glaring at the side of Leah's head.

"Not the same ones" Emmett mumbled.

"Who gives a...!" I hissed "They returned and what...?"

"The Vampires-who were not the same ones-returned to Quileute Land" Dad continued coolly "And the Wolves-I am not saying Shapeshifter _Edward_-had to rise once more to defend their tribe"

"From the Vampires who were not a threat" Emmett added quickly, raising his hands palms up as if to show he wasn't a threat either...

"The pack was smaller by then" Jacob murmured "But they were brave... they found the Cold Ones-oh, shut up Emmett-feeding on their lands"

"Feeding?" I sounded terrified-trying not to let my mind whirl too fast on the information overload.

"It was only one Cold One feeding!" Emmett interjected loudly and Dad snorted. "You were not even there Black!"

"And you were?" I asked softly. "Were you there Emmett?"

They remained quiet.

"What were you eating, Jasper?" I asked-my voice quavering.

"I wasn't there" Jasper drawled looking away from me "Maybe... let Jacob finish"

I sat down then, the quick fear and apprehension leaving me and stared at Leah. She didn't approve of these entire round about tales of spirits-I realised. She wanted it to be straight but all this 'coming of age' bull...

"These Cold Ones had yellow eyes" Dad said seriously, watching my face "And they claimed..."

"I am sure by now you can tweak the tale to more than a claim, Jacob... it's a _certainty_" Edward muttered and Dad sighed.

"They didn't drink blood like the other cold-uhm-vampires the wolves had encountered" Jacob said. "They fed only from animals... and the Quileute saw they were no threat but they still did not trust them..."  
>"Or maybe it was the fact that the wolves were outnumbered by the <em>Cold One's<em>" Emmett whispered.

"... so a treaty was made" he finished ignoring the comment. "They could stay as long as they swore to stay off Quileute Land and the wolves swore not to expose them to the pale-faces in return"

"And yet the idiot Chief over there was the first one to go blabbing to a pale face" Leah scoffed, tilting her in Jacob's direction.

"There is more..." Edward murmured and Dad sighed heavily.

"So the Cold Ones..." he said stonily "The Vampires..."  
>"The Cullen's" Leah stated and I cringed.<p>

"They..." Dad muttered-that sadness that I had lived and grown used to seeing in his eyes returning full swing. He stopped abruptly and looked to Edward to continue.

"We returned" Edward said. "I would prefer telling the _Cullen _History of things_..._"

"That doesn't paint us as revengeful Cold Ones with a thing for Makah maidens" Emmett mumbled

"Can you get on with it then!" Leah growled out what I was thinking.

"Carlisle..." Edward said slowly "He turned me"  
>"What?" I breathed. This was too surreal-sitting in the lounge discussing vampires and werewolves and my mind was screaming that my body wanted to go into panic mode-but something was quelling my emotions, making me listen and understand everything that was being said to me.<p>

"Venom" Edward said "Vampires have venom and that is what changes a human into a vampire. Carlisle changed me when I was about to die of the Spanish Influenza, he changed Esme when she... was about to die too and Rose and Emmett subsequently"  
>"Who changed Carlisle?" I asked abruptly and I could feel how wide my eyes were.<p>

"He never knew... it was an accidental thing" Edward sighed "He was... poisoned, if you may. In any regard, his conscious was great and so was his compassion and he refused to succumb to the nature of vampires. He satiated the incredible thirst that comes with being a vampire with animal blood and when he changed me he showed me this way of life"  
>"Of course I didn't want to be a monster and I was most willing and understanding to it" Edward said quickly "We lived as a small family then, and we came on the Quileute Land..."<br>"Can I say this part?" Emmett asked and Edward sighed nodding "It's just that you Quileute have it all wrong..."  
>"Go on" Dad said.<p>

"It was _I _who had been hunting..." Emmett said slowly. "I wasn't _with _Rose officially then but I was old enough to hunt alone and in control. Vampires don't go hunting in the woods together for a _single_ elk, take note Quileute's. Your great grandfather's chased me and well, the memory of the bear that ended me was still fresh and when I saw a bunch of large bear-like dogs... I uhm, ended up having to run and that's when Carlisle and everyone came to the... not r_escue_, I wasn't _rescued_-more like came to the _negotiations_"

"You ran from wolves?" Jasper grinned and Emmett huffed something that sounded like '_in theory..._'

"That had been the first time we were in Forks" Edward continued. "We made the treaty with the wolves. We upheld it and left... when we could stay longer due to our inability to age"

"We came back then... in this lifetime" Edward sighed, his voice taking on a different quality "And I met Isabella"

"The Quileute let her live on the lands...?" I asked.

"No, she was very much human then" Edward said absently. "I fell in love with her. We were not aware that our presence would ignite the wolf gene in the Quileutes... they began to shapeshift into wolves. But the treaty was upheld. While Bella was human, she had Renesme and well... here we are"

"Here we are?" Leah said slowly "You are the official King of Editing and Summarizing"  
>"I'd rather the gory bits stayed out" Edward said dryly. "For now, don't you agree... hmm?"<br>"Here we are?" I said confused. "In _FuckedUpVille_"  
>"Language" Edward growled while Emmett chuckled.<p>

"What are you telling me?" I hissed at Dad.

"You are a Wolf" he said proudly.

Xx~xx~xX

"So you fell in love with a _dreaded _Cold One?" I asked again-for the eighth time and he nodded; an odd expression between happiness and pain at the fact scrawling on his face.

"And here _you_ are" he finished.

"And venom is poisonous to Werewolves" I asked and he nodded. "So..."

"That's what makes you sick" Leah said looking at me finally-sadly.

"And why now... why are you telling me this _now"_ I had wanted the words to come out angry but somehow, sitting in the lounge with all of them-all I could manage was _irritated_.

"There is a vampire... law" Edward said slowly "That forbids humans from knowing of the supernatural and the consequence of such recklessness in keeping our existence a secret is to either turn the human... or kill them"

I shuddered. There was no point in going through the motions of denial-this was something I had known in the back of my mind for years now and all that they had done was bring it to the forefront of my sights. This was what I had been seeing with every odd movement both sides of my family made... this was what it had all been about... a sense of relief washed over me at knowing but it was momentary as the little voice in the back of mind told me I should be afraid...

"If you were told..." Edward said looking at me intently "And the Volturi-the ones who govern this single vampire law-found out, we would be forced to act on their laws. They would want it to end to that... they promised they _wanted _it to end to that and we couldn't play in. Do you understand?"  
>"You had to keep me safe from them by not <em>knowing<em>" I whispered, staring at my hands. They felt cold but they hadn't stopped sweating...

"So why now" I asked again looking at Dad this time.

"Because... you are a wolf" he said-that little happiness etching on his face.

"No, I am not" I said strongly, frowning. "I am me, I am Charles... I am human"

"Maybe he can be..."Leah murmured desperately. "He hasn't fully phased... maybe this growth and little temperature spike is a side effect and he will cool down and be normal..."  
>"Didn't we agree to <em>prepare?"<em> Dad growled and she shrunk back. "Carlisle will arrive and we will do all the necessary. But he cannot be in the dark when it is so obvious he is past normal"  
>"I am normal!" I hissed, my hands shaking at my sides but they all remained silent.<p>

"You are _loved_, Charles... and that is what matters" Jasper murmured and I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"That is _crap_... is this why my Mother isn't here!" I roared, rising from my seat and rounding on Dad-he shrunk away as though I had slapped him. "Where is she..? This doesn't make any sense... you knew Bella; you said you made _mud-pies_ together... Why the fuck would Bella make mud pies with you unless you were _both_ kids...!"

Of course they tried to calm me-my anger felt like it was fighting some other force that was pushing and shoving at it to quiet down. I began to shiver-like I always did when I had a panic attack. The familiar pain that I got when I had blacked out in our old home-when I had broken the dining room table and Leah's favourite vase-that familiar shimmering heat over my back came. I shuddered and coughed as the pain became unbearable-feeling many different hands over me-hot and cold before Jacob roared for them to back away.

The last thing I was conscious about was the stifling smells of sweet fruits and pine woods and spices mingling together and hitting my nose hard. I let go then, momentarily lost in another world filled with whizzing thick trees and heavy panting that was not my own.

_Charles? _Seth murmured in my mind and I blacked out.

Xx~xx~xX

_There was a picture I had seen in Edward's room. He was standing next to a girl-a normal girl-in a green dress. She was staring up at him with adoration. The picture was creased in the middle as though it had been deliberately bent to make the two individuals-who were by all means standing as one-appear as two separate entities._

_The beautiful bronze haired young man and the normal pale plain girl._

_I knew I shouldn't have been snooping but he never minded it. He seemed to like it when I asked him about every odd thing he owned and the history behind each of these things. The picture lay on top of another picture. He walked in casually, smiling at me._

"_Who are you standing with in this picture?" I had asked him and he had smiled a sad smile._

"_A girl I once knew" he whispered, staring out the window. I put the picture down and looked at the second picture._

_It was of a beaming young happy man with black hair falling on either side of his face, lifting a little girl on his shoulders. She had bronze curls and wide brown eyes and a dazzling smile on her cherubic angelic face. They were so happy... the sun warming the background in nuances of orange._

_I put that picture back underneath the thick encyclopaedia quickly, busying my mind with different thoughts immediately-deciding I didn't need to know anything about the other picture._

"_The innocence of youth..." was all Edward said before we preoccupied ourselves with other topics quickly. _

Xx~xx~xX

I had wanted to know everything and now-to some degree I did know _it all_-and I wished desperately I could push it all out of my mind. I didn't need to see giant wolves or vampires zooming in front of me to believe. The proof is in the pudding and now it was in my blood.

The little that I didn't know surrounding Bella, Edward, Jacob and subsequently Renesme scared me. As long as I was away from that weird situation, I could handle everything else...

As long as I had Leah with me on this, I could handle. She didn't have to be afraid anymore, I know and she wouldn't have to lie to me again. I knew how Leah hated lying to me and it was them who had made her do it to begin with...

Why my mother left-fine, she left... I was handling. I didn't need too many details about _other_ men or _whatever_. And if it turned out she left my father for _Shrek_...

Maybe that I _couldn't_ handle.

**AUTHORS NOTE: Responses**

**Charles is mostly level-headed but he is just a kid at the end of it all, lol. **

**And of course you have _hormonal_ part werewolf-vampire teenage boy angst to come... to answer Leah related questions and whether he is going to go to high school. And I included the little telltale signs of rebellious teen here.**

**I totally agree with anonymous guest on Nessie's situation-and I do hope I can one day write a fic were she doesn't end up collateral! There is a little twist in the Nahuel/Joham-situation with Bella but that's for later on... (I did hint on the contents of that, in previous chapters).**

**Till next time-and hoping you enjoyed this chapter, reviews and pm's always welcome with suggestions and insight...**

**Till next time**

**Tj **


	13. Nothing but the Truth

**CHARLES BLACK**

**NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH...**

This all felt so familiar.

"Just take your shirt off..."Carlisle murmured, smiling a patient smile that seemed so ancient on his young face.

I took the shirt of gingerly, still feeling a little remorse for shooing everyone from Carlisle's office but it was necessary. They had been hovering, they had been asking me a single question in a million variations; _are you okay?_

I wasn't okay.

Hadn't we established that with the torn up living room or the odd squiggle scar Edward was carrying on his cheek-which I was starting to think might not heal as he had promised it would? I didn't want them in the same room when I took of my shirt because all that hovering would turn into an intensified glued-onto-you type of love and protection.

The overbearing kind Leah had warned me about...

"_Oh my..."_ Carlisle breathed when the shirt was off. I tossed it to the side casually and tried not to flinch when he ran his ice cold finger up the inside of my forearm, tracing the bulging dark vein.

"It's just..." I started, trying to come up with the correct description to render the _very prominent_ almost _black _veins popping out around my arms and over my collar bone and across my chest-to render them a minor affliction. "Blood"

"Blood?" he asked, raising a brownish blonde eyebrow up.

"Yeah" I said, staring at my arm-it was considerably longer than when I had last really looked at it-and touching the black raised vein experimentally. "Just..."  
>"Blood?" Carlisle asked again-his voice a whisper.<p>

"You're a doctor so you can't tell them... doctor-patient confidentiality or something" I said quickly and he raised his other eyebrow giving him a comical surprised look. His fingers wrapped around my arm, not able to go completely around but holding my hand in place in an ice grip.

"I mean..." I huffed "It's just... you know, an overflow of blood or something"  
>"How did you come up with that diagnosis?" he asked casually, his other hand prodding the tender flesh around the veins.<p>

"What else could it be" I said eventually looking away form him. "I don't want everyone to worry about _nothing_"  
>"I have to take a blood sample" Carlisle said calmly, placing my hand back on the table and picking a notepad up. He poised his pen for a moment over it and then placed the notepad back down. For a moment I thought he hadn't written anything...<p>

He moved easily to the other side of his large clean office-office was too informal at this point, it had been changed into a mini medical room-and reappeared in front of me before I could blink with what I could guess as blood extracting equipment in his hands.

"What's funny?" he asked, smiling self consciously. I tried to straighten my expression but it wouldn't wield.

"I don't know" I chuckled. "Blood sample... vampire... I seriously didn't expect you to take a syringe..."

"You thought I would use my fangs?" he asked smiling and setting up the tube next to me.

"You have fangs?" I asked-beside myself with awe "Can I see?"  
>He laughed out loud this time, the gesture made his odd ancient youth evaporate and showed a very patient loving man who didn't seem to mind tumbling for fun after a serious gruelling meeting as a way to unwind. He had already finished setting the tube and odd syringe tool up and he rolled his sleeves, revealing very pale arms and sat opposite me.<p>

"You want to see my fangs?" he laughed and I frowned self consciously. He smiled then, a wide smile that lifted his lips away from his teeth-they were white-pure pearly white and even. Devoid of a pair of prominent pointy incisors.

"But..." I spluttered, peering a bit rudely at his mouth.

"Jacob is the only one with fangs, I am afraid" Carlisle laughed, sitting up from the stool and reaching for my arm. "Are you ready, this might sting a little...?"  
>"I thought Edward said vampires have little control when it comes to human blood?" I asked.<p>

"_Most_ vampires, Charles..." Carlisle sighed, wrapping the belt around my fore arm. There was no need to wait for the vein to show, he pricked the needle in easily, dabbing the tiny hole were it had pierced with a cotton ball dipped in _something_ and strapped the needle in place.

I watched a little mesmerized as the blood began pulling from the dark vein up-thick almost black liquid.

"Too rich" Carlisle murmured, holding the notepad again.

"Won't you set the paper on fire" I said absently, staring at the blood going into a blood bag propped beside me "Won't you burn the paper, writing so... fast?"

"Not with _this_ pen-a gift from Esme many years ago" he said quietly, placing the pad back on the table and rushing to me-holding the tube my blood was passing through up to his face. "As I feared"  
>"As you feared?" I asked still not paying too much attention to anything either than my arm and blood.<p>

"Silver" he said ominously. "Trace amounts..."

"Gold?" I laughed in confusion but his expression made the humour evaporate immediately "What about Silver?"  
>"I think that will be enough" Carlisle said seriously, removing everything fast and carefully. "Esme is making you breakfast downstairs... it should be done"<br>He removed the syringe carefully, placing it in a silver tray and I watched as a single crimson black drop escaped from the tiny hole on my arm-stopping right there by the tiny entrance in a weird little dark satin dot.

"Oh" Carlisle breathed stiffening were he was removing the half filled blood bag. "We might need to bandage _that_ up"

"Hmm?" I watched as he did a weird elegant-clumsy frantic dance, searching for something-rummaging through his drawers and cabinets in a slight panic before reappearing with a yellow Winnie-the-Pooh plaster.

"Your skins scent..." he laughed uneasily, unwrapping the plaster human slow and placing it over the dark miniscule dot "Is unquestionably not a true representation of what your _blood _smells like"

"My..." I frowned and then it clicked. "My blood smells... good?"  
>"Let's just keep that covered" he chuckled a little hoarsely "I have not... well, not since my early immortal youth in any regard-been taken unawares"<p>

"You have not what... taken unawares?" I asked, a little worried but more curious than anything.

"I have not..." he stopped abruptly, smiling sadly "It matters not; I think your blood will explain things better" 

I left then-realising that whatever had passed between Carlisle and my blood had embarrassed him and I knew enough from Leah that when people are embarrassed, its best to leave them be.

Xx~xx~xX

"How did the doctor's appointment go?" Edward asked, appearing almost out of nowhere behind me and catching up to me easily as I walked over the green lawn towards the forest.

"Did you just jump out of your bedroom window?" I frowned, looking up the face of the house, at the third floor were his window was wide open and too high and almost falling over when I stumbled over my own feet in my fascination.

"Maybe I did..." he said in a fake mysterious voice, propping me up by the elbow "And maybe I didn't. Maybe I flew, like a bat out of hell..."

"You didn't really take me seriously when I asked if you turned into a bat, now did you?" I snorted-rolling my eyes.

"I took your _thoughts_ seriously" he smiled. "Now, how did things go with Carlisle"  
>"I bet <em>you know<em> form his thoughts" I said dryly, staring at the surrounding mass of trees-anger that I had no control over me, fleeting through me.

"It's nothing to worry about" he said simply.

"Where is Leah?" I asked.

"In the forest" he said "With Jacob and Seth... talking"

"Discussing me" I said stonily, wondering how she was able to communicate with two giant wolves.

"Or maybe they are just talking" he said, standing beside me and mirroring my folded arms-over-chest stance.

"Or maybe you are just trying to cover the fact that she is distancing herself from me" I said in a low voice-a voice that scratched at my throat and came out a little too rough and menacing.

"She is trying to not let the Imp..." he paused and made his expression neutral once more "She is trying not to get in the way of things"

"What was that?" I asked. He had slipped; I had seen the odd memory of my father once more-the memory of my father telling him _something_ when all Edward wanted to do was concentrate on Bella _turning._

"Nothing"  
>"You said you wouldn't lie to me" I said coolly.<p>

"So don't make me" he stated. "It's nothing to worry about..."

"Right" I hissed, walking back into the house quickly. "I see your scar is healing..."  
>"Like I said it would" he called but remained rooted to the spot in the front of the house, staring at the forest.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**JACOB BLACK**

_He might not phase..._

She would like that. She didn't even bother to hide it from her thoughts anymore; this would be a God sent gift if Charles passed through this and remained normal afterwards. If Charles remained human, lived a human life and went to school; if he grew up and matured, got drunk and hurled at some party and met a girl... if Charles failed a few exams and had to cram hard for some. If he got married, learnt to drive a car in a month _instead of a day_ and had a couple of children.

She would like that very much... so many glorious ifs...

_And what's wrong with that!_ She hissed. _That is as much as paradise as any imprinter would want for their imprintee..._

_I know Leah_ I whispered. Seth remained quiet and listening to our passive arguing on what way to go if Charles turned out human or otherwise... he didn't really comprehend the dilemma Leah and I faced on different levels; a dilemma that was pushing us on opposite sides fast.

I wanted that normal sunshine life for him too. He didn't need to be worrying about Cold Ones and giant wolves... he needed to worry about regular stuff and it wasn't right that that was being ripped away from him so early. I had a moment of youth at least; I had a childhood that was full at least...

He would have something none of us were granted-everyday normal human pain and love.

Xx~xx~xX

"You know that's what I want too" I growled-she followed me easily through the forest, her feet crunching the snow behind me in her effort to button up her blouse and still keep up with me.

"For you to think I don't want that..." I hissed, charging through the door of the kitchen and making a beeline for the refrigerator "That is just..."  
>"Just as you can see into my mind Black" she laughed mockingly "So too can I see into <em>yours<em>"  
>"Your point" I scowled-I just wanted to get something to eat, take a long wolf run <em>alone <em>and then head over to the Cullen's and see my son without his irritating imprinter refusing to go to work on account of ordering everyone around...

"You _want_ him to turn" she laughed a little frantically, flailing her hand and accidentally hitting a silent Seth on the nose.

"What's wrong with that too?" I challenged, ignoring Seth's yelp and murmur about going to see Charles.

"It causes him pain" she said dryly, watching me through narrowed eyes.

"You know what I think causes him pain?" I watched her with just as much adamant will "_Not_ phasing"  
>"You don't know that!" she yelled.<p>

"You don't know _anything either_, Leah" I growled. "Now leave me be!"  
>"Charles turning into a wolf won't solve anything, Jacob!"<p>

"It will solve my impending sense of doom" I muttered, walking out of the house and ignoring her call that this wasn't over.

If he changed... he would live forever. If he changed... he would always be there and I would have a purpose... If he were a mere man, he would age, he would marry and then he would be gone. And I wouldn't have any promises to keep.

Renesme had said I needed to be there for him and I had promised myself that I would be there for him as best as I knew through a distorted imprint. He was the reason I had managed to phase back to a man after a year of... torment. He was the reason why I could think again, feel again and everything wasn't one big vortex of pain and despair.

Maybe I was being selfish-but she was being selfish too, if she thought that she could skip over her being a she-wolf and the imprint if he was just _human _at the end of this all.

Xx~xx~xX

"I really need to talk to you" he sighed, pausing in front of my path and causing me to jerk to a clumsy standstill.

I had been very content to pretend I couldn't hear Edward calling me, running over the thick frozen undergrowth easily and praying old age had caught up with him and slowed him down.

"Not in this life time, Black" he laughed uneasily and I rolled my eyes. "How are you?"  
>How was I?<p>

Wasn't that how he had begun to greet me when Renesme had started her little dalliance with Nahuel...?

"You know full well I had no knowledge of that" he frowned. "I had no knowledge... of a lot of things..."

Maybe he should have remained an overprotective leech like he had been when Bella was human. Maybe that would have solved a lot of problems rather than him allowing Bella total and free control of every single decision...

"I didn't come to you to fight or point fingers... not today" he sighed, moving through the cold shade of the trees-momentarily flashing over a patch of sun light and glittering like a disco ball-before reappearing over a boulder.

"I came... well, to ask you to do something with me" he sighed, looking up at the sky. "We are all invested in Charles... and I have no doubt that his affliction will be solved and handled with due time"

If there was one quality that was not endearing to Edward-was his inability to ask for help easily. He frowned at that thought, and moved to stand in front of me-taking in a deep breath.

"Will you come with me to South America to retrieve my daughter?" he asked coolly. "I know she made you swear to never go there... and I understand why she would say that Jacob. A lot better than you do, for you see-Shapeshifter's are a rare species and there is a warfare of sorts going on there... it spreads to the rest of the world... and Renesme is in the dark to the extent this struggle of species range" 

She made me swear because she wanted to be left alone with Nahuel. I was not opening that up again; it was semi-healed, my attention invested between being a wolf and being a father and I may not be any good at the last of these things but I had to keep _trying _till I got it just right. I would never be good at being a father if I was busy trying to rescue something that had long fissured and broken off, something that tore me up from the inside out every time it set its dainty foot in America...

"She loves you still" he whispered and I groaned-a whimper that escaped my muzzle in a billowing heated cloud of hot breath through the cold air. "Jacob... it isn't what we thought it was" 

I couldn't deal with this in my wolf form. There were certain emotions that seemed trebled when they passed through an instinct ruled heart...

"Okay, phase then" he sighed and then groaned when I made no move "Now you care about your nudity... oh, come on..."  
>He turned around petulantly and I phased, quickly untying my sweat pants and putting them on.<p>

"Done?" he asked.

"You know I am" I sighed and he turned around slowly.

"I don't know why you think anyone is interested in seeing you naked" he muttered.

His daughter had been very...

"Bellow the belt, Black" he hissed. "On to more important..."  
>"I am not leaving Charles" I said simply.<p>

"It is not what we thought it was!" he stressed, taking a step forward. "I am glad to have you, brother... son... I am glad you are healed somewhat and you know it pains me so much to know it was my daughter who... please Jacob. Listen to me?"  
>"I am not going there" I mumbled-my heart wrenching familiarly whenever I allowed Renesme to play an active part in my mind.<p>

"Yes, she had the affair" he said, his eyes wide with something that resembled animation... anticipation?

"You are not telling me anything I don't already know" I whispered "Bella told me that first"  
>"She..." he paused-frowning before smoothing his face quickly-he hadn't known that little detail. "Of course she would be the one to tell you"<br>"She was my best friend, she _would_ tell me"  
>"Don't be <em>naïve<em>" Edward growled. "She told you because she didn't know what she wanted. She never knew what she wanted in her humanity and it just intensified as a vampire..."  
>"I have lost you there, Mind Reader" I murmured.<p>

"She wanted you with Renesme" he said

"I was with Renesme... I imprinted on Renesme... spit it the-fuck out, Edward" I growled and he frowned.

"A part of her wanted you with Renesme... the part that wanted Nessie happy" he whispered then looked away "And a part of her never got over wanting you for her self"

"Your mad" I said, looking around me for any proof that this conversation was only in my mind.

"I keep trying to save the old Bella I have in my memory" he whispered-detached-a million years in the past I imagined, a time when Isabella Swan was a clumsy girl with brown eyes "Keep trying to tell myself that she had accepted the Nahuel situation as a way to free you from this imprint and not to try and have you for herself"  
>"I don't want to be free..." I choked shaking my head a little as the pain in my chest intensified-my heart squeezing.<p>

"You acknowledge the imprint is distorted, disfigured and gruesome..." he asked calmly-the tirade of awful words that best described my magical connection to his daughter causing me to flinch. "If you acknowledge it then the silhouette of the pre-imprint-Jacob resides in you still and it is _that man_ who wants to be freed"

"Do you know what you speak of...?" I said-my voice coming out shaky and pathetic-like a cry of pain.

"I speak of healing you" he murmured "You spoke of the ability to transport a spirit... in your legends?"  
>"It can't be done"<p>

"I think I know why it can't be done" he said slowly. "You are all set-you have all merged with the fate Taha Aki set out for you, no?"

"I don't..."

"The other Spirit Warriors did not accept this _magical merging _of he wolf and they were free from imprinting. Guaranteed they were forbidden from ever going into the spirit world... but they were free from the traits of the wolf ruling their lives through phasing"  
>"You have to much free time" I growled.<p>

"Free time to wonder how to rectify this" he murmured, waving his hand in my direction "Your thoughts and emotions-however exponentially healed in the last five years-are still a form of medieval torture for Jasper and I"

"What the hell has this got to do with me going to South America...!" I hissed "Or your request that I leave my _son _alone"  
>"He has Leah" Edward responded quickly. "And you and I both know her little attempt to keep the imprint from twisting her involvement in Charles medical treatments is not going to work for long... it's all elastic band, really"<p>

"Elastic Band... is that like a seventeenth century term..." I frowned at him.

"I was a nineteen hundreds man" he said dryly and I laughed. "Elastic Band... you know... you pull on it, you pull on it and when it finally strains and releases it rebounds with as much intensity as that in which you had been pulling it with... if not _more_"

"I don't understand the application to Leah's imprint"

"We really should have made you go to college, moving along..." he turned around, his back facing me and stance professor-like "The connection is... to retrieve my daughter you cannot be imprinted on her"

"You have gone mad"

"Charles will be safe here..."

"I am not leaving him" I snapped.

"So in essence..." he said softly, as though he wasn't really talking to me "I need you to be the old Jacob who didn't listen to what Bella said. In other words, I need you to _not_ take every request Renesme has bestowed upon you with titanium obsession and burn it to ashes. I need you to be reckless and not hovering between the realm of half-wolf even when you are standing on two legs. I need you to have conviction born out of your own soul..."

"I get it" I whispered "You can stop the poetry"

"Right" he laughed-sounding relieved as an edge in my mind unwound and I mulled what he had said over.

"And Bella" I asked.

"Bella..."  
>"Did Ren... did she say anything about her mother?" I asked him softly, tentatively as I saw his own form of distorted love flash over his face.<p>

"Bella isn't Bella anymore" Edward breathed-fighting to keep his expression hard. "Joham has a talented daughter, very persuasive... and she has managed to _persuade_ an all too willing Bella to be part of whatever Joham has planned against the Volturi or something. I care not for it"  
>"Bullshit" I laughed.<p>

"I need to get Renesme away from South America and safe with me; that is all that I care for" he whispered seriously. "What Bella and Joham have begun is the root in which the poison has been delivered-the venom does not remain in the neck, it ends up in the heart. Bella made her decision and the out come is hers to bear"  
>"That's not how love works, buddy..."I sighed sadly and then raising my eyebrow I thought on something that had caused me many an abrupt phase. He had gotten in the habit of allowing people to voice their thoughts out but now, this topic required he forget his telepathic etiquette.<p>

"From what I have deduced after spending my _free time _thinking" Edward said stonily "Nahuel may have fallen to his sisters talents and been ordered to keep my _daughter _in check" 

So he may _not_ be evil? He may be at the mercy of whatever talent of persuasion Joham's daughter possessed but he had still stolen my imprint from me prior to running into his father...

"He hated Joham" Edward murmured "That should have been our first clue; why would he go to Joham if he _hated _him so..."

"Because he has no morals" I said dryly, watching as my hand shook and shimmered, the heat clawing at my back. "No honour... he stole her... he..."  
>"Jacob"<p>

It was too late. I was wolf again, carrying the anger and hatred of many a man who had watched a grave injustice, who had witness a heinous violence-a man who was under the mercy to the cruelty of a near unbreakable bind.

The Imprint.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**CHARLES BLACK**

He isn't so tall anymore. It s not that he has shrunk or something, I have just filled in to some of our previous height difference. He is still Seth but it's hard not to notice the change in his _eyes_. They are harder, they know pain and they carry a maturity that now-after being told the tale of Taha Aki and the return of the Cold Ones-becomes the first telltale signs of a grown man living inside the youthful body.

"How are you dealing?" Seth asks. He was the only one who hadn't bombarded me with this question and somehow because it is him asking I don't have this urge to take a swipe at him.

"Dealing... I am _dealing_" I sighed. "I just wish for all of it to just _stabilize_"  
>"Normality" he chuckles, shaking his head a little before folding his arms neatly behind his head "The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow..."<p>

"You don't think I will ever be normal?" I ask softly, sitting timidly at the edge of my bed.

He has taken up most of the space of the bed with his large body, limbs tossed carelessly from end to end. He had been in here when Esme had dropped me of, lounging in my room and acting as though he was not permitted to venture any were else.

"Honestly?" he asked, tilting his head at an odd angle to look at me.

"Honestly" I whispered.

"You weren't normal from the day of your conception" he said, his face stoic and the humour only evident in his eyes. "But it depends on what your idea of normal is, Charles"  
>"My idea..." I sighed, shifting his arm so I could lie next to him "...of normal"<br>"Yeah, everyone has an idea of _their _normal" he breathed, closing his eyes.

"What's yours?" I asked him, watching as his face went tranquil and yearning for that feeling he seemed to pull so easily from within himself. A feeling that I wanted to counter this anticipation inside me, anxiousness for something... something violent and angry...

"There was this one day..." he said evenly-his voice warm and somehow wispy "Leah and I got home from school, she was with Sam then... early stages, you know-the most intense stages of infatuation-and she had been happy. We got home and Mum and Dad were at the back of the house, arguing as people in love do about _something small_... trying to fix the barbeque stand..."  
>"We had barbequed meat that day for supper" he grinned "It was impromptu-they had just been trying to fix the stand but Leah and I got involved and it just ballooned. We got the meat out, we got the fizzy drinks out and we had a barbeque in the middle of the week... just us four"<p>

He opened his eyes, blinking a bit-the smile still in place and then when he looked at me he frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked and I realised I was staring-glaring-at him.

"Leah... which Sam is this?" I asked softly.

"Sam _Sam_" he frowned, rising from the bed "We were kids, you know"

"But Sam is with Emily" I said putting on a fake smile to cover the odd feeling of betrayal welling inside me.

"Exactly" Seth said smiling with me-we stared at each other for a second, the fake smiles in place. "Now, uhm... what do you think of when you think 'Normal Day'?"

"Uh..."

"Close your eyes and picture something... you can describe it to me" he instructed and I did as he said.

I closed my eyes and tried to start in the past as he had, the very past... and nothing solid came up-it was all snarled in odd happenings around me, it was filled with the sound of my father crying violently and with no control in the bathroom this one time when my mother had been away for the first time and another time Jacob had tried to teach me baseball-he had crushed the ball in his hand. My mind threw images around; my mother putting my jumper over me awkwardly when I was five, her impatience with me when I screamed for ice-cream, my first smack from Renesme and subsequently the first time Leah and Renesme had a go at each other, when my mother had told Leah I wasn't hers and I had spoken up that Leah was mine for _always_.

It was chaos... it was windy and filled with clouds and stray rays of sunshine-here and there things would stabilize somewhat. There were fragmented times when my mother and father had smiled at each other with what had seemed an unparalleled love, there were moments when I had watched Leah and my parents laugh together... there were moments in my childhood-brief moments that seemed _normal_.

"The second month it was just Leah and I... completely" I whispered, not opening my eyes. "I noticed how we had a _routine_... I must have been twelve... I would go to school, I would come back home and she would be there... and she would talk to me about things-the sound of her voice was enough, I didn't have to reply or respond-and we would have dinner. She was still learning to cook so it would be an _experiment _on our stomachs. We taught each other things, I taught her what I knew about gardening from Dad and she taught me how to punch-not that it helped anything. It was Leah who taught me to make my bed the _proper_ way just like they do in hospitals. We went to parks, we went to diners and cinema's and football games..."

"When Leah and I are alone" I finished, opening my eyes and not acknowledging his staring-opting to gaze out of the round window "When it's just Leah and I and no one else has anything to do with us... that's normal for me"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**LEAH CLEARWATER**

"It's venom, no doubt" Carlisle sighed, passing the paper to Edward.

I didn't make a move for it, there was no point-I wouldn't understand it. I stood there, my arms folded over my chest and an intensified panic welling in the pit of my stomach. Venom was poisonous. Venom was lethal to Wolves...

And what made it worse was the fact that I didn't know to what extent venom's danger was to a wolf. No wolf had had the pleasure of being bitten by a vampire and actually allowing the venom to stew in the blood stream. That made it worse, so much more worse-because now my over active grim imagination was spinning scenarios on what my imprint producing trace amounts of venom meant for him...

"It's like an allergic reaction, Leah" Edward breathed "Not as serious... like getting uncomfortable rahs"  
>"What I suspect is..." Carlisle murmured, walking slowly and deliberately to the front of the fireplace, in front of six vampires and three wolves and still giving of a calm complacent leadership air around him:<p>

"What I suspect is that his body is going through puberty-and it's at a Shapeshifter scale" he paused then, his eyes flickering to Edward "The venom may have always been there-always been produced by his body but the amount was so small that I wouldn't have been able to discover it in our past medical assessments. And with regards to vampire characteristics; I am not certain if the venom will bring that out in him. Like I said-he is producing trace amounts and somehow his body stops the venom from merging completely with his DNA"

"And as far as I can tell..." he folded his arms over his chest and exhaled "This is also interrupting with his body's natural reaction to phase when upset, threatened... but after greater study, I fear his body is at war"

"What do you mean _at war!_" I hissed.

"I mean the vampire and Shapeshifter side of him are _fighting_" Carlisle said patiently "And it is his human side that bears the brunt of this conflict"

"So... is he..." I stammered, smiling hopefully "He will be fine right"

"I don't know, Leah" Carlisle said "What I know is the venom wont harm him in the exponential manner we had initially feared. It is the same as when he was younger-it interrupts his human side to deal with sickness and..."  
>"But he is healthier!" I cut him vehemently.<p>

"He is healthier because his Quileute side is now awoken" Edward said for Carlisle.

"What do you suspect?" Rosalie asked, I felt her cold hand brush over my back briefly-comfortingly. "What are your theories for the future..."

"You say he wont have any _vampire burdens?_" Esme asked.

"I can't say, my love" Carlisle breathed sadly "Theories, all of them... I theories very strongly that the probable outcome of this war is _only _to reach a deadlock; on one end Charles will be burdened with anxiety pills to ward of partial-phasing incidents and control his anger..."  
>"Or the two supernatural genes will merge with his humanity and we can only hope the Shapeshifter in him won't succumb to the venom" he finished and I shuddered, looking over to Jacob pleadingly.<p>

Did he understand now...? 

Xx~xx~xX

"Leah..."

I had been feeling cold, my finger tips numb and glass-like to everything I touched. Of course I was still running over the legal normalness of any human but being away form him had set my nerve ending on fire.

"Charles..." I sighed, relief washing over me "Come in"

He entered timidly, the door opening too slow and then he shuffled unnecessarily over the wood. There was no way I had not noticed his increase in dexterity-maybe to the level of a natural human athlete. I missed him tripping, huffing and needing me. I missed him needing me...

He stopped in front of the door-still holding the handle and stared at me. He was taller, he was fuller... he was now showing his age. He was sixteen and looked sixteen. I had spent the day obsessing over the fat; if he was a wolf, if he succumbed to what it meant to be a Shapeshifter-I would return home one day and find my sixteen year old imprint looking the same age as I did.

The thought scared me. It terrified me to a standstill. I wouldn't have much time then... no time to adjust-just _sudden. _And although Seth had questioned it, wondered if it would turn out like with Jake and Quil-if I would suddenly feel for him... I knew it was not possible. It would not happen, it could not happen...

He was Charles and I was Leah. We were in a partnership against all the odds the world could ever throw at us.

"I missed you" he murmured, taking two steps towards me-towards the bed-and then pausing awkwardly, looking around the room as though he had landed on an alien planet. He looked around as though everything was strange. He looked around as though he had never been here when he would come in here easily and lounge on the bed with me and tell me of his worries and dreams.

He looked around as though he wasn't _supposed_ to be in here...

"I missed you too" I murmured and he smiled-a small fleeting smile that didn't last on his face.

"How was work?" he asked taking another step.

"I didn't stay long" I sighed, dropping the book I had been trying to read "The wolf died"  
>"Must be weird" he chuckled, another slow step-another glance around everything "Caring for a wolf when your brothers turn into giant wolves"<br>"Hmm" I gulped hard, looking at the purple bed covers guiltily. "How are you holding up?"  
>"Strangely" he said "I am holding up <em>strangely"<em>

"It will pass" I sighed. "It has to, you know..."

"Yeah, I know"

"We just need to figure out our rhythm, like we did with each city we moved to" I said smiling at him-he smiled back, still guarded but I knew we had needed to be together, alone. Whatever the awkwardness... we had needed this. He knew something was up with me, naturally-and that was the reason for the awkwardness, I was sure. There were so many other people he had connected to, and I had to allow those rekindled relationships to blossom fully.

"Our rhythm" he said, sitting at the very edge of my bed. "I would like to go to school"

"I would like you to go to school" I breathed, wishing he would relax a little more. "Is there anything you need, anything you need to know about what it means to be a Quileute...?"  
>"Yeah" he said softly "I would like to know about the past"<p>

"Jacob would be more than excited if you went to him and asked..."  
>"I want to know of <em>your<em> past, Leah" he said quickly, hiding his face from me.

"I want to know your past Leah" he said seriously "I want to know why you don't age, the truth only from you. I want to know about Sam and Emily. I want to know why you ended up being Renesme and Jacob's only friend... I want to know Leah, I want to know _everything_"  
>"Everything" I gasped.<p>

He looked at me then and grimaced sadly.

"Would everything be too much for me, Leah?" he asked softly and I nodded manically. "Then tell me what won't hurt _us_ so much..."  
>"What won't hurt us so much" I said the word experimentally, my heart thudding violently behind my chest.<p>

"Just _don't_ lie to me Leah" he whispered "Not now, you have never done so... so don't _do it now_"  
>"I won't..."<br>"Promise me, Leah" he said desperately "I couldn't handle it if _you_ lied to me"  
>"I promise"<br>**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**A little light shed on Charles genealogy thanks to our good doctor Carlisle Cullen. Thank you for all the reviews and alerts! So inspiring to write, write and write when I see your thought on things and constructive criticism!**

**Remember to review! They bring me smiley faces and twinkling hearts...!**

**Tj **


	14. The Distracted vs Distractions

"Carlisle and I have more than enough knowledge between us..."

"You are not the only one with a PhD, Edward" Rosalie cut him, folding her arms over her chest and rolling her eyes. "We could _all _teach Charles"  
>"Yeah, they probably could" Dad agreed, nudging me with his shoulder. I scooted further from him down the couch "They could form a whole University Faculty with their brains..."<p>

"A whole _University_" Edward corrected haughtily.

"Home schooled kids are weird" Leah stated evenly, winking at me.

"That is _prejudice_...!" Alice yelled.

"Name one..." Emmett demanded.

"Renesme" Leah said with finality, countering Rosalie's aggressive stance with a defensive one. "She is like the mascot of home schooled kids gone wild"

"Renesme is..."Alice tried, squinting her eyes the way she did when she was having a vision "Well, she got an education didn't she. I mean, she was allowed to go to school in the end"

"In the end, it's what _Charles _wants that matters" Esme said softly. "What do you want sweetie?"  
>"To go to... school" I said slowly. This was too strange, I was negotiating <em>school...?<em>  
>"The worry is that you can't be <em>alone<em> at school" Carlisle breathed, looking around the lounge "You will need someone there with you..."  
>"Edward had already volunteered" I stated calmly. Leah and I had already rehearsed this-she had warned me that high school was the vampire's least favourite activity thanks to the Bella tragedy.<p>

"I had" Edward said grimacing a little "But that was before... there are things I need to do with your father Charles"  
>"You can do them after school" I grinned and he frowned at me.<p>

"It will take a lot of my time and energy..." he murmured.

"Good thing you have limitless energy and time is on _your _side, Oh Immortal Mind Reader" I said excitedly and they all laughed.

"You have me cornered there" he sighed. "School... I hate school, it's like..."

"_Purgatory_" Jasper breathed wearily "Yeah, we know... you tell us every time we have to start a high school, so that's what... about sixty times..."

Xx~xx~xX

It felt like a holiday, going back to high school.

It wasn't that the Cullen Manor had turned into some form of luxurious prison-well, in a way maybe-but the thought that I would be returning to books, pens and teachers filled me with excitement. I would be returning to teenagers who didn't know anything about Mozart or how to fine tune a European sports car... just regular bumbling people like me...

It also turned our Alaskan move into just another city were Leah had to find a job and I had to go through the pain of starting school again. The whole part vampire and giant wolf business could fall into the background. I could just walk through the doors of a government institution, stumble my way through a crowded hallway, knock over someone's books and be given the death glare before taking a seat next to the school bully and be harassed the remainder of my stay.

Paradise...

"That's rather... sad" Edward breathed. I realised it took quite a bit of conscious effort to tune my thoughts just right so he didn't _hear my voice_, as he put it... and in times like these when I was happy and unfazed, I didn't mind him prodding around in my mind.

We were back in town. We were shopping again. It all felt new and clean-truly like I hadn't half-changed... or was it turned... it may have been morphed...

"_Phased_" Edward sighed irritably. He was using every second of our shopping time to illustrate to me how much he _didn't _want to go to school-literally. I had already been told that back in his day, sometime in the Tyrannosaurus era-a boy his age was considered a man and ready for marriage.

I had laughed; he had done that already-gotten married at seventeen and had a child-and now he was a seventeen year old grandfather.

I was now the same height as Edward-no were near my dad's towering height but it had helped considerably to wake up and realise you could reach the top shelve without standing on your toes awkwardly. The joy was short lived when I stood in the mirror fully and saw how lanky I had become even though my appetite had returned with a little extra oomph in it. I could join the basketball team maybe, if my eyesight and throwing skills would go through a growth spurt like the rest of me...

"No hoodies" Edward stated. "Or jeans"

"You want me to go naked?" I huffed. "I like them..."  
>"They make you look like an outcast"<br>"I am an outcast, Edward" I said and frowned when it came out whiny "Stop..."

"Bullying you?" he said humorously, raising a dark eyebrow "I didn't quite catch that thought...?"  
>"It was <em>nagging"<em> I hissed, attempting to grab the black hoody from his white clenched fist and then having to tug on it hard "Let the hoody go"  
>"Choose something else" he said dryly. "Anything else... a sweater..."<br>"Let it go!" I growled, pulling on it with both hands now, comically trying to twist and shove at Edward's immovable hand that seemed to be relaxed against my violent tugging.

"There is a yellow cardigan over there" he said bored, flipping his eyes in the direction of the cardigans but not releasing the hoody.

"I hate yellow" I said "It looks weird on Quileute skin"  
>"Firstly, you are pretty pale for a Quileute..."<p>

"Seth is pale..."  
>"Not as pale as you" he stated "And secondly, Leah has a favourite yellow sundress that very colour; and she <em>is <em>Quileute and you have uhm, similar tastes"

"No we don't" I mumbled, releasing the hoody and walking away from him to another clothing section-my mental barriers immediately being raised.

I knew the corrupting sundress he spoke of. It was the reason I hated the colour yellow...

Xx~xx~xX

"Let's go in the Aston Martin!" I chirped, practically bouncing in the garage. "Or maybe Rosalie..."  
>"Not in this life time" Rosalie laughed, touching her cherry red Mercedes lovingly on the bonnet. "Edward doesn't know how to handle curves like these"<p>

I stared at her for a minute and then looked at Edward, who was pointedly ignoring the jibe by busying himself with a chunkier car under a grey cover-at human pace. He pulled at the bottom carefully and then unclipped the rear end from the cover before slowly removing the canvas from the car.

"A Volvo?" I said in shock "No way, we are surrounded by sports cars and you want us to arrive in that Volvo...?"

"We need to blend in, Charles" he sighed-he and I had been at odds since I put his name on the school-babysitter-chopping board.

"_You_ need to blend in to just be popular!" I hissed, running my hand over the Black Mercedes "You have shiny and sparkly _built in_ dude... I need something to make _me_ sparkle"  
>"You sound gay" Leah stated and I stuck my tongue out at her; she giggled a little, her eyes gleaming and finished with a soft smile. She was enjoying this part-the part were I tried to get the Cullen's to help with my <em>built in dorkiness <em>when she thought they were even bigger dorks-except they shimmered in sunshine instead of getting sunburnt...

"You are supposed to be yourself, Charles" Edward breathed.

"Maybe I have a split personality, then what?" I challenged, stopping the inspection of the yellow Porsche.

"We are going in the Volvo tomorrow" he said shaking his head in disapproval. "There is nothing wrong with that car, I love Volvo-that's the new model I got this year"  
>"You get a new model each year?" I asked<p>

"Yes" he murmured, crossing his arms over his chest "They are very good cars; very safe..."  
>"Why do you get a new Volvo...?" I tried and Rosalie and Alice waved their hands behind him-signalling I not go there-and Edward rolled his eyes.<p>

"I can hear your thoughts" he said dryly "Does everything have to end up being _Bella's _fault"  
>"Uhm..." Leah pretended to think "Yeah... maybe not global warming, but pretty much <em>everything<em>"

Xx~xx~xX

"Your Grandfather is a weirdo" Leah laughed. I followed her out of the garage, marvelling how I was now taller than her-she didn't seem so intimidating and older now.

"No one beats Charlie in the weirdo department" I laughed back.

"I bet not... that there is the catalyst for the Bella pandemic" she muttered with a slight indignant tone "I can't believe he was _doing_ my mum..."  
>"<em>Was<em>...?" I laughed. "Uh, he is still alive Leah..."

"Thank God for old age, is all I am saying" she breathed in relief.

"And I bet he is thanking God for Viagra... _everyday_!" I chuckled, dancing away from her playful swipe at my head.

Xx~xx~xX

It was the first day of school and I was already in the shower at four in the morning.

I had managed not to wake Leah up-Dad had said, with much relief in his voice; that he was spending the night as a wolf. He was thrilled that he didn't have to tiptoe around that fact and he could be natural about it. I felt like I had let him down by not morphing...

By not phasing; he wanted me out there with him, I could feel it. He wanted me to know exactly what it meant to be a Quileute protector and the good side of shape shifting.

"And here I am" I whispered to the tiles, the water spilling through my hair and over my back "Not phasing but aching..."

I woke up to the aching sting of my joints, I woke up to wet sheets tangled with my limbs and my own soft moans and I had lain there in silence. Listening to the sound of the wind and waiting for Leah's door to open; she almost always heard me. I hadn't been that loud I concluded and tried to move slowly inch by inch.

I had initially thought it had been a nightmare-maybe I was being dramatic about it, I guess in context it was actually a _dream. _A dream that I had was possibly the reason I had woken up confused, vigorous and moaning. Nightmare... there was nothing remotely scary about dreaming about Leah and her sundress except being _found out_. Edward was to blame for that, he was to blame _entirely_; hadn't I managed to suppress that particular memory somewhere in the vault of my mind?

Aches and pains were more manageable- three painkillers and a shower would have to work.

There was no way I was backing out of the whole going to school thing. I couldn't handle sitting around at the Cullen Manor waiting on _something _to happen to my body while being home schooled by vampires... that I loved... but they were still vampires and in my all too humanness-the zooming, not moving and not blinking got distracting at times.

"Charles?" Leah whispered through the door.

Dammit.

"Hmm?" I murmured, not trusting my voice coming out through my sore throat in a normal pitch.

"You okay?"  
>"Peachy" single words would be safer to start with "Just... eager"<br>"Oh, okay..." she sighed. "It's four thirty, you know..."  
>"My watch is ahead then" I said. "I'll..."<p>

"We didn't move from frigging England to here, Charles" she said dryly "Just be a little more quiet, no moaning or singing... whatever it is... I don't want to know. I have an operation to do this morning"

"You are doing operations now?" I asked, a little in awe.  
>"Okay, I am <em>watching <em>but it's kind of like _doing_ it" she said self consciously "Anyway, goodnight... or morning... I am afraid I won't be holding your hand to school today"

Right, she had held my hand to about three of my schools before telling me my equilibrium wouldn't be off balance if I walked with my hands by my own sides. She had walked me to preschool holding my one hand while Dad held the other...

"Uh..." I blinked stupidly as water glided over my face with trails of shampoo, ending up rubbing my eyes furiously as my vision blurred and eyes stung. This was one of the main reasons I hated shampoo...

"Night!" she breathed irritably and I heard her bedroom door slam in the next second.

Xx~xx~xX

"I thought we agreed on the grey turtleneck?" was the first thing Alice said when she walked through the kitchen door. "I would love to support you on this quest to be the 'misunderstood rebel' but it's hard when you refuse to do it fashionably"  
>"A lot harder to bully than Bella, eh?" Dad laughed, grinning at me. It was hard not to feel warmer with the pride radiating from him. It was hard not to feel <em>hopeful <em>with the light dancing in his eyes. A light I didn't remember seeing in my childhood.

"Okay, I came with back up..." Alice ignored him and moved towards me-I barely felt her ice fingers tugging and removing the green hoody and only when she said, "Dip your head" did I understand what her fleeting movements around me were.

"Put the black jersey on..." she instructed "I think I saw that you liked it"  
>"You <em>think<em> you saw...?"

"Jacob and Leah" she sighed, pointing at Dad accusingly and pointing up at the ceiling, through the concrete slab at a sleeping Leah in her bedroom. "In any case, it makes you and Edward look like brothers"

"Hmm" Edward breathed from the door, his face unrelenting. He was wearing a dark grey jersey and an annoyed scowl to match.

"I would hate to be _you_ in shotgun" Seth whispered to me.

"Maybe you can sit in the back..." Emmett laughed.

"I am not a _chauffeur_" Edward snapped "He will ride in the front and bear witness to this"

"You would think as my grandfather he would be a lot more supportive of my education" I laughed, following a broody Edward to the Volvo and waving goodbye to them.

"If you could hear thoughts..." Edward sighed "You would understand my reluctance to be in a closed up space with a bunch of hormonal angsty teenagers"

"Said the hormonal angsty _perpetually_ teenage vampire" I chortled strapping the seatbelt on "At least we mortals can out grow that faze..."  
>"Humph" he scoffed "<em>Most<em> of you..."

Xx~xx~xX

It was bigger than my last school.

A building propped between the encroaching forest and a few large houses with a stone face and small car park. I could feel my nerves working up already, that tingling sensation that starts in the middle of your palms before spreading to your fingertips; the foreplay to sweaty hands.

The cars were more or less similar in price range to Edward's Volvo and I was thankful my momentarily juvenile need to show off hadn't swayed him. I didn't want to be stared at-I never faired well with one pair of eyes watching me and I couldn't handle being propped under a public telescope. Whatever dreams of popularity I had been entertaining on our way here vanished immediately-my only dream was falling to the background now.

I realised that was how I always entered each new school, with that singular intention...

"You can unfasten the seatbelt now, Charles" Edward sighed, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently "We have arrived to your... Paradise"

"You seriously don't want to be here?" I asked-my voice shaky and hitched. He looked at me, boring at the side of my head when I refused to allow the soft prickling of his telepathy to enter my mind.

"I have been here many a time before" he murmured "You have to understand; it's like watching a bad movie a hundred times for me. Don't mind my surliness... I am just dreading going through the first week of staring girls, swirling lurid fantasies and boyfriend requests"  
>"Sounds terrible" I said sarcastically.<p>

"You have no idea..." he breathed heavily, opening his door and letting in the cold Alaskan air "Now let's get this done..."

Xx~xx~xX

"Edward Mason" he said fluidly, frowning just the tiniest bit at the audience-at the classroom that was dead quiet and staring at us.

The teacher had decided to let _everyone _walk in and take their seats before figuring out where Edward and I could take our seats. She had done this, with us standing awkwardly-well, I stood awkwardly while Edward huffed once and went into Armani Model pose-while every student had the chance to gawk at us as they passed and then stare freely when they found their seats.

"And you?" the teacher asked. She was an old woman with thick glasses and greying black hair.

"I am..." I forgot my alias, did I have an alias... "Me"

"He is my brother..." Edward said over the many giggles. She raised an eyebrow, frowning a little and scrutinising Edward and me's resemblance; pale glorious hypnotising beautiful slightly athletic built young man against scrawny awkward slightly tanned pimple-sprinkled boy.

"Half brother" Edward sighed and I didn't need to have a telepathic link with him to know the Edward-pinched-nose pose he was fighting off. "Charles...?"

"I am Charles" more giggles and I felt my face heat up.

"He is _painfully_ shy" Edward smiled at the woman-our teacher, Ms Potter-and she smiled ahead of fluttering her eyelashes and pushing her glasses up her long hooked nose. "If we could sit together?"  
>"Of course" she said breathily, her smile revealing creamy stained chipped teeth and drawing my eye to her chapped lips. "At the back... we are starting on Macbeth, Charles and uhm... Edward. I hope you are prepared"<p>

"Marginally so" Edward smiled again, leading my stumbling self to the back and ignoring all the whispering around us.

Xx~xx~xX

"Why Mason?" I asked him and he smiled.

"My actual last name for a change" he said "It's... refreshing"  
>"Am I Mason too?" I asked.<p>

"Only a Quarter" he chuckled, writing in the notebook although the teacher hadn't begun dictating the note's on Lady Macbeth's character. "In this school... you are a Black"  
>"I really wanted an Alias" I sighed. "Leah and I..."<br>I frowned. I had wanted this to be like all the other times and had foolishly and childishly attempted to disregard all the other factors playing in my life.

"There is no need for an alias, now Charles" Edward said "The Volturi knows you are here, they know you are protected. We can only hope the change will reveal something on their side"  
>"The Vol..." I begun and he shushed me, passing me my pen.<p>

"Time to do school work" he whispered grinning "The joys of paradise, eh?" 

Xx~xx~xX

Maybe I picked the wrong vampire into being my babysitter.

Edward pulled in all manner of attention by simply sighing, pretending to cough or raising his hand in class to answer a question. He was dead on about the staring; almost all the girls were staring at us, I was sure-as we sat in a far off corner of the cafeteria. Staring at us-staring at him and being forced to acknowledge my presence by his side eventually.

He was muttering something about wolves and actually missing hunting them now that it had been a few decades since he had the joy of facing a pack.

"But my Dad..." I squirmed. I hadn't seen Jacob as a wolf yet-I was secretly terrified after watching the werewolf transformation in Van Helsing and comparing it to my own pain when I half-phased. I just imagined he was about the size of a large timbre wolf maybe, as a high as my middle...

"Of course I wont confuse a normal wolf with Jacob" Edward laughed out loud-startling a nearby table with a group of nerdy girls with his musical laugh. "And he doesn't smell anything like food..."  
>"Smell like food?" I said absently, remembering Carlisle and the single drop of my blood. "How does food smell like to a vampire?"<p>

"Food smells horrid-but I know you didn't mean human food" he said, a ghosting smile on his lips. "How doest a vampire decide on whether something is edible-or rather suitable to quench a vampires thirst?"  
>"Yes" I looked behind us-a group of teenagers, a mixed group with boys and girls was throwing us obvious looks and then whispering furiously.<p>

"Let me put it this way" he said finally after thinking for a minute "Human's would be the gourmet meal and animals... animals would be _dry bread"_

"How do I smell like to you" I tried and he looked at me suspiciously.

"Why?"  
>"I am curious" I murmured.<p>

"What has this got to do with Carlisle?" he asked.

"Nothing really, I am asking you... I want to know from you" I deflected and he sighed.

"You smell... good" he murmured and then smiled softly "You would think that being part wolf would make you repulsive!"

"So I am... the opposite of repulsive?" I asked and he sighed again, flicking his eyes up to something behind me before straightening up.

"Back to high school now" he said pursing his lips. "We have a brave teenager coming our way"

"Huh?" I asked and then felt the presence of someone behind me. I remained still, looking at Edward instead-who went back to pretending to enjoy his fruit salad.

"Sorry" a girl murmured from behind me "You must be Edward... and Charlie"  
>"Charles" Edward corrected stiffly.<p>

"Oh, you are Charles?" she asked him and he exhaled impatiently.

"No, he is" he stated and made no move to acknowledge her again.

"I am Julia" she said timidly and shifted, entering my view.

She was pretty-not Cullen pretty-just regular pretty. Blonde hair was shiny somewhat, blue sparkling eyes and a slight stylish flair to her clothes. She was pretty and definitely popular-would explain her guts to approach Edward and his death glare of doom. She was the resident High School Queen.

"I uhm..." she said shakily, casting her table a longing look. She wasn't used to this type of response. "Well, if you two need anything, be sure to let us know"  
>"Us?" I asked abruptly.<p>

"Oh, I am the president of the student committee" she said proudly "Also head cheerleader..."

_She is a cheerleader, Edward. _ I thought with maximum volume and added recollection of the movie 'Bring it On' for visual reference in case he wasn't aware of what that meant in this day and age. A cheerleader... this was as close to...

"We'll ask" Edward said detached, not looking at her and mashing his fruit into an orangey paste "If we need anything, Julia..."  
>"Oh, my number...?" Julia breathed.<p>

"I didn't ask for it, but thanks again" Edward finished, rising suddenly and saying ominously "The bell"

The bell rang and I backed away from a shocked slightly traumatised Julia and followed Edward's quick gliding step out of the cafeteria.

Xx~xx~xX

"I hate gym" Edward grumbled, pulling the green t-shirt over his head. I stared jealousy at his defined toned body. Stupid vampire who didn't know how good he had it...

"I am going to ignore that" he murmured, tying his shoelaces in a single blur "Are you thinking of doing any sports?"  
>"<em>Why?<em>" I asked, folding my arms over my chest and rushing to lead this time in a petulant quick step ahead of him. He laughed from behind and then zapped _unnoticeably_ in front of me-prodding my annoyance further.

"Because you will be alone there" he chuckled "I can handle the physical taunting of P.E but sports... now that's an insult to my speed and dexterity that I cannot take lightly"

"You are a bag of fun, you know that"

"Is 'Bring it On' not a movie for girls?" he asked, trying to make eye contact with me. I ignored him and searched for Julia amongst the girls at the far east of the indoor court.

"Leah likes it" I said-a half truth, trying to source the pretty head cheerleader out.

"Do you like it?" he prodded.

"She made me like it" I murmured, checking the entrance for Julia and her group of friends.

She entered then, hair flowing in the air delicately and smiling at something funny. I was aware that I had begun to smile with her even though I didn't know what was funny and the fact that Edward was still talking and looking at me fell into the background.

"Oh, please" Edward huffed. "You can do better"  
>"No, I can't" I said loudly, staring at him in disbelief. "Head Cheerleader, President of the student council and did you see her..."<br>"You better say eyes, Charles" Edward warned.

"Eyes" I finished dryly "She is a ten and I am _just_ above average and that's only with the new height. Your stupid hair colour works weirdly on me..."  
>"I thought you didn't worry about girls?" he frowned.<p>

"I am a teenage boy" I laughed derisively "the past few weeks with the half-phasing and Dad and Mum... that had been a holiday from _worrying_ about _girls_"

"Give it more time at least..." he sighed. "There are more girls in this school besides her"  
>"But she is the... the... Alpha of the Girl Pack" I said.<p>

I was being ambitious but I was allowed to do so if my grandfather slash half brother was a compellingly beautiful vampire with light reflecting bronze hair who could get women do just about anything-be it old, young and blind-with the sound of his voice and brooding mystic.

"I am not being... I don't even have a word for that" Edward glowered distastefully.

"_Pimped_ is the word" I grinned. "Please?"

"No"

"I can't quite remember what you got me for my birthday" I tried and he laughed.

"You know, this isn't about anything but you trying to prove something to yourself" Edward chuckled shaking his head "Firstly, you are shy and have no actual interest in what Julia's group stands for. Secondly, why the sudden need for a girlfriend..."

A distraction...

"A what?" he frowned looking at me through narrowed eyes.

"Uh..." I thought about my dad's smile quickly; stretching from end to end all because I was growing tall too fast.

"Let me guess..." he said raising an eyebrow "A distraction from... phasing. No, that's not it... hmm, from Renesme? No, that can't be it either..."  
>"The coach is here" I whispered quickly, walking away from him.<p>

I knew he knew. I don't know how, because I was always meticulous with my hidden personal thoughts with him and I prayed I wasn't showing anything strange outwards. But Edward knew... he was going through formalities with his one-man guessing game.

I needed a distraction from the little prickling sensation I was under when near Leah.

Xx~xx~xX

"How was school?" Leah asked.

"Okay" I grumbled. I could hear the soft purr of Edward's Volvo as he pulled out. He would return later on foot to help me with my mathematics.

"Did Edward meet any mental mute plain girls with muddy brown eyes?" she asked and I laughed weakly.

"No, but he has a new supernatural gift" I grumbled, poking at my early dinner. She was heading to work for a late shift. "He is _unbelievable_ in the art of cock-blocking"  
>"So there are pretty girls in Alaska after all!" she laughed, ruffling my hair the way she always had and I stiffened at the contact-an entirely new thing that was proving difficult to shake.<p>

"Pretty enough..." I murmured. "I shouldn't really put all the blame in him, I guess. He can't help it..."  
>"Being a pretty boy or having no game?" she asked standing opposite me.<p>

"Both" I grumbled. "Irritating telepath"

"So it was bad?" she asked.

"No, not really… better than most" I sighed. "I didn't manage to get on any bully's list"

"Kind of difficult when you are pushing for six foot three, there kiddo" she murmured. "Have to go, enjoy the extra lessons with Eddie"  
>"I'll miss you" I said unexpectedly and felt the heat crawl up my neck.<p>

"Miss you too, kid" she winked and left me to deal with my blushing, conga heart beat and warring jumbled thoughts.

Xx~xx~xX

I have my suspicions about Leah and the worst part is I don't _want_ to have them. I don't want to think about them, to feel them let alone dwell on them. It is hard to go back to the safe haven of my intentional ignorance when everyone has decided to be true and clear in front of me... everyone but her.

My father and Seth are giant wolves. My mother's entire family is vampires save for two. My mother ran off to South America to be with the only male of her kind.

Maybe said male has a half-Shapeshifter daughter... there's something to enquire on a dating site;_ seeking girlfriend who goes through freaky growth spurts and hairy panic attacks like me_.

Leah...

It was like having that feeling of impending doom when I thought on what Leah _could_ be hiding. It felt like if I found out, anything I ever thought extremely bad-from puppies being drowned alive to world hunger-would immediately be dimmed in the light of that discovery. If I found out... it would kill me because the only reason she would keep something from me is if she thought it could hurt me and right now, the only thing that could hurt me is if she left like Renesme...

So this thing... would make her leave.

Why was she even here? Why did she even bother...? She didn't need to be around this _freakiness_. In a small glimmer of selflessness in my rather overprotective love-no, not love... it wasn't... If it was _love_, it was _platonic_. It had to be platonic-I would make it that way because I couldn't be the freaky mutant child with a slightly incestuous... Leah and I were not related so... it mattered not. It mattered not because I would make it platonic because it was one sided in the end and _creepy to my own self_.

In a small glimmer of selflessness in my rather _platonic_ overprotective love for her-I wanted her to be gone, to be away from this and become a vet somewhere with a husband and her own kids instead of looking after someone else's fucked up child with an inappropriate _thing_ for her.

X

I almost missed the pale ghosting movement in the shadows of the trees under the giant moon. I was pacing my room trying to work out my thoughts quickly and I hadn't noticed that something was imitating my pacing outside the large round window.

I paused, freezing completely and my heart rate rising. Palms sweaty and eyes wide-I thought it was Edward. He may have developed a sadistic sense of humour...

I turned to the window slowly; sweat sliding down the nape of my neck in an astute chill and my eyes threatening to pop out of my skull. I almost didn't want to know what was outside in the forest watching and imitating me. A very prominent part of me wanted to jump out of the way of the window, away from the moon's bright wide light and hide under my bed-whether it was Edward or not. I felt _naked _and _humiliated _terribly after what I had been thinking with abandon.

But I turned slowly, terrified and irrepressible; and standing in the woods right by the fence of our little yard, in front of the many tall menacing trees and before the harsh almost white unveiling light of the moon was a pale beautiful woman with strawberry blonde hair.

She grinned at me and I gulped.

She tilted her head one side and exposed a long elegant neck, her blue blouse billowing around her gently. She made the outside look inviting; she made the Alaskan outdoors appear like a holiday destination instead of an alternate location for hell where it was freezing instead of hot. She was beautiful, she was everlastingly beautiful...

She waved at me and I felt my right hand rise on its own accord and wave timidly back. She smiled gently this time and motioned for me to come out. I shifted dumbly, making a move for the door with the intention of heading outside and then frowned.

She was a vampire and I was behaving like a stupid idiot male human...

_You __**are**__ an idiot male human who seems to want to crush on every pretty girl who walks past you... older than you, in the position of guardian over you or head cheerleader..._ a tiny voice that resembled Edward's reproachful tenor murmured in my mind.

I was alone in the house. I had been under the spell of a vampire for a good two minutes and now I had awoken to the realisation that I was very possibly in danger and Edward wasn't here yet...

There was a knock on the door. I ran back to the window-stupidly expecting her to still be outside and gasped when I saw nothing but trees and moonlight. She was at the door... she was at the door... I was going to die... I smelt like the _opposite of repulsive..._

"Argh!" I jumped in shock as my ring tone went off; knocking my lamp from the bookshelf and watching it fall in slow motion, bounce once on the floor before landing back in several pieces.

My phone continued to ring on my bed while I tried to calm myself. While I tried to make the shaking stop. I picked it up in a shaky hand-anger flashing in me when I saw Edward's name on the screen.

"Where the hell are you!" I shouted "There is a vampire outside my door... I am going to _die!_"  
>"..." I heard him breath and then a tinkling laugh erupted from his end before he joined it with his own deeper baritone.<p>

"Edward...?" I whispered and he took in a breath, the other female voice carried on laughing.

"Charles, would you please come down stairs and _unlock _the door for Tanya and I" he instructed traces of laughter in his voice. "She would like to meet you, finally..."

Xx~xx~xX

"Of course relations where a bit strained with the Cullen's after that" Tanya said sadly, looking away from me and gazing wistfully out the window. "But we had to try... in the end you have nothing but time to work things out in the midst of such eternal adversity"

"It was the Volturi's fault... in the end. There was nothing to be done" I murmured.

I had been enraptured in the tale-in the memory-as she spun it out. The details of her sister's death and the pain that it had caused her family-extended and immediate. Tanya stood by the picture window in the lounge while I sat still and huddled on the couch, Edward had propped our homework on the coffee table and moved to the dining room while Tanya told the story of Irina's death.

I had no doubt he felt guilty to some degree-Irina had died in essence because of witnessing _his _daughter, my mother and making an understandable assumption of Renesme's uniqueness. An immortal child... there was so much _I didn't know_, I realised. More than just what Leah's past held that threatened her existence with me but the connection with my mother's own existence and the Volturi's unyielding interest in all things to do with the Cullen's and their singular descendants.

"I came to your first birthday though, do you remember?" she asked smiling.

"Uhm..."

"He has a very human mind" Edward said entering the lounge finally and taking a seat adjacent to me.

"You say that like it's a mental disability" I muttered and Tanya laughed her tinkling captivating laugh. I blushed slightly; vampires were beautiful and glorious-but it was different witnessing a vampire who wasn't your family... not really...

This family thing. I just wanted a line to be drawn and those who shared DNA to step over it.

It all came to light somewhat, my questions on vampirism. How was any human to fare against this celestial creature even if they didn't possess superior strength, agility, a vast adapting mind and speed? All they had to do was smile at you and ask if they could sink their teeth into your neck...

Which man could refuse _Tanya?_

As if she could read my thoughts-which I knew was currently impossible with all the little barriers I had propped up against Edward-she winked at me and pursed her lips ruefully.

"He looks like you... so much" she breathed. Her voice was slightly husky-not like Leah's but it gave her a very tempest sort of allure that was worthy of any playboy bunny type scenario a teenage boy could conjure.

"Yes" Edward stated frowning at her. She was watching me and ignoring his disapproving look on her face-I wished desperately I could hear _her _thoughts.

"He smells _delectable_" she laughed, her hair bouncing slightly and shimmering like white gold silk. I blushed, hands sweaty and berated myself for taking such a comment as a compliment but when it came from those lips...

"I think we should start on Maths, Charles..." Edward said and I snapped out of my daze and looked at him in surprise. "It's six-thirty..."  
>"And I am sixteen not twelve" I grumbled and Tanya laughed.<p>

"Will he shoot up like Renesme?" Tanya asked and Edward grimaced as if in pain.

"Highly inappropriate, _Tanya!_" he growled "I am glad you are interested in mending things with me..."  
>"I am glad you are moving again instead of standing around like a statue for months and letting pigeons shit on you" she snapped, her face going hard and showing a very inhuman edge.<p>

"Just remember that he is my..." he began and the rest was said to fast and swiftly for me to catch.

"The joys of living eternally means I can wait" she sang waltzing into the kitchen before throwing a "Maybe I will end up having that cherry after all Edward. A duplicate will do... unless you want to _trade yourself in_"

"Inappropriate!" Edward roared and she laughed.

"I still count you as _new_" she chirped from behind the kitchen door "When you go to an amusement park-you can't just try one ride, Edward. More especially, the _kiddies _ride-you try them all!"

"She is the rollercoaster of _doom_" Edward grumbled, flipping the math text book too violently and ripping the thick book in equal halves before huffing. "Maybe let's start with _English_"

"But..."  
>"Get the damn English books out, Charles!"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

**Edward really doesn't like high school, huh. Back to pre-Bella brooding stick in the mud-if anyone has read the _not to be read _Midnight Sun.**

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Ooh, the mind of a teenage boy. lol. Thank you all once again for the reviews, love and favourites!**

**Hope you enjoyed Charles first day at school with a grumpy vampire**

**Xxx**

**Tj**


	15. Let Loose and Die

**LEAH CLEARWATER**

"How do you even expect this to work!" I hissed, glancing at Jake briefly. He was busy licking his paw-apparently he had injured it a few seconds ago running from La Push. Running from La Push without consulting me...

Trying to break an imprint without consulting me...

"I don't expect anything" Edward said in a technical tone "I expect neither any change nor lack of change"

"It hurts..." I said "You don't know how it hurts to do what..."  
>Jacob huffed, the snow swirling around his head with the release of hot air from his wolf nose.<p>

"He wants you to change..." Edward murmured, walking off deliberately and turning around "It's important you help with this"  
>"I don't know..." I said softly, Jake turned his massive head around but that was just formalities. Neither of us cared about nakedness anymore. I took the dress of and sighed, letting the ripple carry over my spine and falling forward onto my paws.<p>

_I don't know... if I want to help with this. It feels like an __**abomination**__._ I told Jake and he sighed, half of him agreeing with me but then he pulled on a fraction of the pain he felt under the imprint, flung it at me and I grimaced.

_I just want to feel freely..._ he sighed _I can't remember what it was like... _

"The imprint has him jailed, Leah" Edward stated, walking over to us-his scent intensified in my wolf form but that stinging bleach quality it once held had long become almost undetectable. Only for the Cullen's did the peroxide tainted smell appear to have abated greatly from our human noses but still marginally in wolf form-every other vampire was a walking chemical sweetness. And if they were blood drinkers-unlike the Denali Clan whose scent was tolerable now-if they were blood drinkers, my senses went into overdrive...

Jailed by the imprint. It had jailed all of us to some extent, some of us just happened to have more compassionate jailers, freer range... fighting the imprint hurt. How could Edward understand, of course he would lure Jacob into his little experiment because he didn't know...

"It's not an experiment" Edward said tetchily "I am trying to help him. When Charles is older Leah, and if he manages to move away from the pull of the imprint..." 

It won't be 'moving away' from the pull of the imprint. You can't just turn the other direction and walk of from this. Trust Edward to treat such etched magic with arrogant...

_He is trying to help..._ Jacob repeated patiently and I groaned. The only way he could help is if he understood exactly what he was asking of Jacob...

"Then tell me, Leah" Edward whispered. I sat still, the moon was going to be full tomorrow night, I realised and maybe we would hear the distant natural wolves howl to us.

You don't walk away from the imprint. If we could just pack up and remove the shackles, then that would be beside the point of this being the ultimate magical love. This wasn't just about the wolf that had imprinted-this was about the imprintee... maybe the intensity was different and the burden of the imprint not equal between the imprinter and his imprint either but it was just impossible to walk away...

You couldn't just denounce it and turn around and walk of...

"_She_ did it" Edward murmured.

Renesme had turned herself into a stone witch with a lump of coal for a soul when she did this-Billy had ensured the new Quileute records of our legends engraved her this way before he had died. Edward grimaced and Jacob sighed, he wanted to have the story changed-of how the red wolf had wandered mindlessly in the Forks Peninsula-out of respect of his imprint but at the same time it would be tarnishing the love Billy had for him.

She walked away from it, she pulled and tugged at the imprint and it left Jake a mindless zombie for how long?

"My point..." Edward said his face hard and controlled "She was tugging, she was pulling..."  
><em>And it wouldn't break<em>. I thought. _Not with all the force she was applying..._

"Because it takes two" Edward murmured looking at Jacob who sat silently and detached by the tree. "Jacob has to pull too"

_Never! _Jacob and I growled together and then Jake whimpered-that split personality in him that wanted this imprint gone fighting with the other side of him that wanted Renesme back by his side. He would die... I thought about it in relation to Charles and I was sure I would die too, just from watching him try to break it, like jumping up in to the air to get away from gravity. He would come splattering back on earth-her earth-and be killed by his stupid attempt at flight. Splattered on the ground, a red bleeding mess of fur...

"No walking away from it" Edward said thoughtfully watching me "So _what is it _you are attempting with Charles?"  
>Attempting...? Charles and I had established our imprint without <em>establishing it.<em> He was Charles and I was Leah and I couldn't remember a point were I was some half-witted version bumbling to conform to my imprint... I remained as I was and he grew as he was and there was no reason for us to try and merge each other into one being...

"And if the reason arose?" Edward challenged and I growled.

_It would never... that is why..._

"You are keeping your being a wolf from him" he murmured "And if he found out about the imprint, Leah?"  
><em>I am his Leah... if he found out about it then it would just be <em>_**finding out**__. Nothing has to change; I don't know why everyone thinks things __**have**__ to change..._

_Because they do change, Lee. _Jake whispered. _Whether you want them too or not... _

_They can change in a different way! _

"She is right, Jake..." Edward said "Different way... you aren't pulling against the imprint... just... walking around it, Leah?"

Walking around it...

It would be like growing a beautiful rosebush in the middle of a desolate parched garden. Instead of snipping all the blooming buds and selfishly taking them with you to hide and gaze upon on your own, you let them remain as they are in the garden. Beautiful, enchanting and calling on all the birds to sing and love... every being appreciating such a beauty and you know you can walk around that single beautiful thing in your dying garden and that it will spread over the land eventually and fill everything with colour.

There was no need to end its life by taking the buds and hiding them so they would wilt and die eventually or walking away from it and denying your self its beauty. Why not tend to the bush, walk around the rosebush and let everyone enjoy in its beauty and the birds carry its seed to far of lands so that beauty would never die...

_You do poetry?_

_Shut up Black. _I growled, ignoring Edward's severe gaze on my form. He didn't want to understand... but he did.

"I see" he said eventually. "Selflessness... so the rosebush can thrive without knowing of its desolate surroundings"  
><em>I don't understand...<em> Seth murmured trying to decipher my thoughts. He was back in La Push; he had been running between here and there. He wouldn't understand, he hadn't imprinted... he had a woman he loved once... but it wasn't the imprint.

"Turning the imprint into a form of altruism to keep it from oppressing the fate of the two" Edward stated and I snorted on how perfectly _Edward_ it was to confuse more than explain.

"I mean to say" he frowned at me "Selflessness so the _imprint_ can thrive without knowing of the barren surroundings it is born into, without knowing the oppressive nature the imprint is meant to deliver on the hearts of the two-the imprinter and the imprint" 

_Sort of got it..._ Seth chuckled.

"Walk around it..." Edward said to himself. "I think..."  
><em>It's too late to walk around the rosebush with no rosebuds left.<em> Jacob finished. _All you can do is cut the whole damn..._

He paused, groaning in pain.

"Cut the whole damn thing down" Edward stated grimly. "For it will never bear any blooming buds again"

Xx~xx~xX

"Do you think I am mad for trying to do this?" Jacob asked.

"The crazy ship sailed with you aboard it years ago" I sighed "Years ago, I think... before Charles even. You had the ticket sitting heavily in your pocket"  
>"I have to do this" he insists, his brow crinkling and eyes shadowed. "I have to go there... I love her. And if you won't..."<p>

"I promised I would always be there, Jake" I tell him softly "But where you want to go, I can't follow..."

He looked at me and understood. South America, Renesme... all of that had nothing to do with what I was living for and there was no need for me to touch on it. He backed away slowly, turning once to look at me with a sad smile and leapt into the shadows of the tree, away from the light of the kitchen.

"I'll love you for always, Jacob Black" I murmured to the too high up brown flashing eyes "You are my Alpha... for always"

He left then and I was left with Edward and his frown. He followed me into the kitchen and sighed, holding the door open.

"I have to go"

"Of course" I sighed.

"Will you be okay?" he asked gently.

"I'll... take a shower and try to get some sleep" I breathed, sitting heavily on the kitchen counter. "Brave face and all"

"A face only you can pull, Leah" he smiled, ghosting out the house.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

He had had this dream before...

The russet wolf stands at the side of the road solemnly, as he and Leah drove over the long never ending expanse of gravel. Each kilometre they cover, the wolf reappears, watching them with bleak brown eyes...

It changes then. This part is new to the dream. The sky that was always baby blue and had streaks of hot sunlight flashing over it is bulldozed over and in its place is hard grey clouds and the sound of thunder in the distance. They are in darkness momentarily before Leah turns the headlights on...

He waits for the wolf... watching the warm yellow glow of the headlights intently-preparing him self for the large russet wolf but instead he sees the unmistakeable form of Jacob Black staring desolately at their approaching car.

"Dad!" he yells, turning frantically behind when they speed past a sad Jacob "Leah stop for him...!"  
>"I promised I would always be there" she says softly, her voice far away "But where you want to go, I can't follow..."<br>Jacob reappears again, tears streaming down his face... tears... they aren't tears, its blood. She continues talking in the distant voice and Charles cries come out as silent breathes.

"I'll love you for always, Jacob Black" she says sadly "You are my Alpha... for always"

Was this a dream or a nightmare...? He doesn't care anymore as he falls back into his seat, screaming and cursing-crying for his father and demanding what Leah's words meant. The car reaches the end of the road-literally-and the car fly's over the cliff, over the edge of their world and they go hurtling into the dark abyss and before they reach the bottom, he wakes up.

There is a thick sheen of sweat all over his body.

"Just a dream" he whispers, bolting upright, wiping his brow and lurching up from his bed onto his feet "Stupid crazy..."

For a brief moment, as he gazed out of his window in the light of the partially full moon, he thinks he sees a mass of russet move through the shadows.

"Dream" he tells himself again, shaking his head and grabbing his towel "Shower... I'll sleep better..." 

He walks slowly over the floor, continually glancing back down the passage at Leah's slightly ajar bedroom door. It's three in the morning and his new shower-remedy to ease the pain of his growth spurts would become highlighted if she caught him again.

He opens the shower door slowly; sliding into the small open space he allows himself and closes it quickly and with as much silence he can muster. He pauses, trying to comprehend what the strange sound behind him is and if Leah has woken up...

There is steam around him, he realises. But he hasn't gotten around to the shower to turn it on...

He turns around quickly; the odd sound is the water streaming out of the shower nozzle, he realises.

"Leah!" he yells and she turns through the haze of the water abruptly, steam silhouetting her form from behind the thick glass.

Steam, thick glass... not enough to stop his male mind from drawing out the detail of all the hazy bits... she spun around quickly, coughing dryly when she sees him standing through the steam. She feels like a rabbit in the headlights and behaves just like one-standing stupidly for a second. She was so in the habit of prancing around woods naked that feeling exposes while naked felt like a... unnatural reaction.

Or maybe it was because he was _shirtless_ and staring unashamedly with wide unbelieving eyes.

"Uh...!" the spell is lifted and his mind is unlocked, he turned around too quickly and with definite inhuman velocity and crashed loudly and painfully into the door. He forgot he had closed it...

"Sorry!" Charles manages, fumbling with the handle, remembering after a few grunts how a door handle is to be pushed down and _then _pulled to open a door, stepping our of the hot steam of the bathroom and into the cool passage before slamming the door.

His heart was thudding violently against his chest, his mind clouded like the steam had filtered into his skull.

"Could you move from the door?" Leah yelled and he jumped dropping his towel "I can see your feet...!"

"Could you _lock_ the damn door" he counters, picking the towel up angrily-heat tinting his cheeks and clawing down his neck. "It's like you were _deliberately_ setting a booby-trap... shit, a trap... no booby... I saw _nothing_..."

"You know what...!" Leah growls but as soon as he hears the shower being turned off, the shower door sliding violently open... he bolted to his room and locked the door hastily.

His Ipod would have to produce an anti-nightmare play list... as well as a plausible reason for why he didn't hear Leah knock on his door if and _when _she decided to 'talk' or more likely 'yell' about the shower-booby-trap mishap.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**CHARLES BLACK**

Years of being bullied have turned me into the most proficient type of coward. One text to Edward that I was having a slow day and if he would pick me up fifteen minutes later than normal and listening intently to Leah's positioning in the house before rushing to the toilet and back to my room and then awaiting the sound of the car pulling out saved me from...

Something that would leave me embarrassed and half-dead.

"If you are dead..." I asked Edward as he drove too fast towards school "Then does that make my mother half dead and am I a quarter dead?"  
>"Precisely" he stated dryly.<p>

The conversation ended there... he was in a mood, it seemed to be getting worse the more he went of with my father and the more days he spent at school, but today I didn't mind. I wanted to disappear from any radar and hold a little corner so I could huddle and grip myself to not think about showers and dreams.

Xx~xx~xX

I actually wished Edward was with me.

If Edward was with me, my mind would have had more conviction in not trying to analyse the dream... but somehow, this had turned into the one class Edward and I didn't share. He said he had no patience for Maths, especially if it was on a standard level...

Cocky vampire...

The dream. I had this itch to just buy a dream journal and one of those dream deciphering books. Then a little voice told me not to be daft; I knew what it meant. The words said it all... but they were just words. It was just a dream and I was trying to put value to my own personal worries...

But then that reflected what I was subconsciously always worrying about.

I worried on why my mother left... why Leah cares for Jacob and my self and why Jacob and Leah are as close as they are. Little silly inconsequential worries that really should not even exist... they had history; Jacob and Leah.

A history I didn't know about...

Renesme left. Why would she just leave? She didn't get along with Leah...? Why was I insisting on being daft about things...?

"You are too cute to be sitting alone" Julia giggled and I snap my head up. "Where is Edward?"  
>"He is in advanced math" I tell her, sitting up and leaning away from the desk. She is sitting opposite me, on the desk in front.<p>

"Hmm" she murmurs thoughtfully.

She was all about Edward; the Alpha of the girl pack wasn't as easily intimidated as the other human girls and she had tried and tried and it was a rather impressive sight how she went around Edward's sulking and deliberate death glares.

"Well..." she smiles and I smile back at her nervously "I am right here... if you need a different sort of company"  
>"I'll keep that in mind" I tell her, hearing the internal cheers in my head for not stammering when she deliberately bit her lip for me.<p>

Julia's little distraction didn't cover the fact that I had let the flood gates open, the thoughts and pain were wheedling over my little flirting high and this was the last lesson of the day and I was too exhausted for mental barriers...

"Listen Charles" she called softly "You know about the Dance right?"

"Right" I breathe

"Well... I need a date" she smiles coyly eyeing me with interest "And you look like you are about ready to join the football team in less than three days, I thought you were skinny...!"

"Uh..."

"You are right" she sighs, packing her bag swiftly "We need to discuss this in private..."

I blink at her stupidly, recapping our entire conversation for some loop I fell from but then the bell went off.

"Well...?" she taps her foot insistently and huffs over the sound of our bustling classmates, looking at me impatiently.

"I am in no rush" I tell her. I was trying to figure a way around this Edward hearing something situation...

"I am..." she sighed, grabbing my arm and leading me out of the classroom "I run on a schedule!"

Xx~xx~xX

She is rambling about the Dance, telling me how she dumped her quarter back boyfriend recently and that she likes my hair colour. Or more correctly Edward's hair colour... but I am lost in world were my father and mother possibly had affairs against each other... and my best friend could be a lying home wrecker and I had seen her naked and had a serious hard on afterwards...

"...it wasn't easy" Julia sighs, weaving her fingers into mine "Your hands are so warm... not sweaty kind of hot. I like that"  
>"Uhm..."<p>

"I mean, I know he wont appreciate it when I move on so quickly" she continues "But it's just my luck that the two... uhm, well... you came to this school and you are as gorgeous as you are"  
>"Right" I breathe looking around us "This is the first level girls toilets, Julia?"<p>

"No one uses them" she says thoughtfully, turning my hand over and studying it "Your skin is a lovely colour"  
>"Right" I don't believe her and I am aware that I am possibly five minutes late from getting to the car and Edward hates waiting...<p>

"I really have no interest in the girl's toilet" I grumble, but let her lead me in. She has a bossy nature and I was stuck in daze...

"Julia?"

She pushes me into the stall, removes her bag and takes a notebook out. I watch her in mild irritation as she places the book by my feet and adjusts her skirt before kneeling.

"Uhm, Julia...?" I splutter but she just looks up at me seriously as she tugs on my jean button.

"You look about seventeen-eighteen" she says, unbuttoning my jeans "You're very good looking and I love your eyes"  
>"What are you..."<br>"You know what I am doing" she sighs and continues in a monotonous voice "I am very goal orientated"

"Is this one of... your goals?" I ask her, stepping out of one leg and allowing her to take the other of.

"A fall back, I always have a fallback" she smiles and I catch on; I was the fallback. Did I mind...?

I had the head cheerleader kneeling before me... did I mind... Thank you Edward, for being the idiot brooding vampire you are. Who cared about Volturi royal vampires, missing mothers, demented fathers and seventeen year old grandfathers when you had the lovely Julia...

"Ngh..." I groaned as she started-watching me and I was unsure how to conduct myself. They always seemed to hold the girls hair in all the movies...

Something told me that wouldn't be a good idea... I wasn't exactly in charge of my strength at the present. Julia didn't seem bothered that I was confused on how to act when a girl was kneeling and giving me... oral sex. She didn't seem bothered by the growling I was producing that was scaring me slightly, or that I had punched through the flimsy cubicle wall and when I began to climax, Julia had no way of minding because she wasn't in my head to see the image of a russet curved goddess standing behind an artificial waterfall in warm golden fluorescent light...

And then I said the wrong name, sure Julia would mind now but in her head cheerleader arrogance, she misunderstood...

"..._Leah_" I groaned coming undone all over Julia's face-she didn't mind this too.

"Mhmm" Julia murmured, raising an eyebrow up at me.

"Juleah" I covered.

She left me to manage putting my own pants on while she cleaned up by the sinks, talking non-stop about the Dance and her ex boyfriend and some other girl who was supposedly _almost _as popular now but her little business venture here in the toilets would change that.

"Oh shit" I breathed and she paused with the make-up. "Edward..."  
>"I can take you home" she said quickly, her eyes flashing suspiciously. "It was my fault anyway, keeping you up here so long..."<br>"Uhmm..."

"Come on, my car is at the back in the teachers car park"

"Teachers car park?" I asked bemused and she tugged my hand.

"I can't exactly park with commoners"

Xx~xx~xX

This would be so much easier if I had taken my cell phone with me...

Of course Edward would make it a big production. He was standing in front of the house with dad-both their faces unforgiving and Jacob looking... scary.

"Wow..." Julia breathed parking the car next to the Volvo "You look like your dad and he is... wow"

"Thanks" I growled, glaring at Edward as I opened the door.

"Wait, you are going to introduce me to your father?" she asked opening her door too.

"No"

"So you used me?" she accused her eyes going wide in disbelief.

"Uh..."

She got out of the car, not waiting for an answer and headed for the two supernatural beings standing still by the porch. Sure, Julia had a lot of guts and daringness in her that was endearing but one look at Jacob Black's glowering expression stopped her in her tracks and she stalled; waiting for my deliberate slow moving form to catch up.

"This is..." I was angry, I was pissed-so suddenly and fearsomely that I couldn't look at Dad "Julia"  
>"His girlfriend" she beams at them and then reaches a hand out to Jacob. He stares at the pale hand with mild confusion, frowning slightly at it and she squirms retracting it quickly. He flicks his eyes at me and I see the unwarranted concentrated disapproval in them.<p>

"Girlfriend...?" Leah emerges from the house, her keys jingling slightly and I go rigid.

I stare at her, unable to look away from her wide eyes and genuine confusion. I want to shove Julia in her car and run back and yell "April Fools!". It isn't April and I can't hide Julia or the memory of Leah naked in the shower from my mind.

They are all silent, Edward remembering to move-runs his hands through his unruly hair and Julia stares at the motion. I want to smack his head off. I want to scream at Jacob to stop trying too hard to be a father and just let me be...

But Julia is here and Leah is shifting from foot to foot nervously.

"Work!" Leah shouts and then laughs loudly "Here he is... with a girlfriend. You guys pulled me from my lunch for nothing, eh Eddie?"  
>"Edward" Edward states dryly "Just Edward"<p>

"Well, Julie" Lea smiles, walking away and heading to her car-she waves at Julia too enthusiastically the whole journey "Bye!"

"It's Julia!" Julia calls "Nice to meet you, Mrs Black"

"She isn't Mrs Black!" I growl and Julia flinches "I think you need to go now..."  
>"We will see you at school, Julia..." Edward intervenes politely and she huffs, walking away. "Charles... inside, please?"<br>"Whatever" I growl, pushing past an immovable dad and feeling an ice heat crawling up my spine when he follows me.

This was not going to end well for anyone.

Xx~xx~xX

"Do you even know what the hell you are doing!" he roars shoving at me and I stumble backwards, managing not to topple backwards by lurching side ways precariously.

"Jacob... easy..."Edward breathes but Jacob is far gone. I am far gone...

"I am being a teenage boy!" I yelled and he growls again-this time leaving no doubt that the sound is too close to that of a violent animal.

"Teenage... so you are going to blame it on hormones?" he hisses and Edward says something like this isn't the same as his situation with Renesme.

"You tell me what the hell I did wrong!" I snarl, and just because it seemed like the right thing to do in the moment, I fling the vase of flowers of the mantle and on to the floor.

It smashed into many jagged pieces and the water spills over the wood.

"Charles, you could have told me you were..." Edward states, standing deliberately between Jacob and my huffing trembling form "You could have said you were entertaining company"  
>"That girl...?" Jacob snorts and Edward shushes him.<p>

"I left my phone at home" I say

"I realised that but we were already thinking the worst case scenario" Edward said softly "The Volturi... there are so many factors, Charles. You cannot be so..."  
>"So irresponsible just because you have think you have the excuse of being a <em>teenage boy<em>" Jacob spat pacing and muttering to himself.

I am sure he has just said I am my mother's child...

"Oh, yeah..." I say sardonically, mirroring his pacing "I don't have the luxury of being a teenager although I just happen to be the only one who actually is!"  
>"There is more to this than you just running of and getting a girlfriend!"<br>"There are many dangers in involving a human in this life" Edward stated "If Leah were not here she would have wondered who you mother..."  
>"Leah is not my fucking mother!" I roar-my eyes flashing and vision filled with red "Don't you confuse her... don't you..."<br>"Charles..." Edward warns but I push past him and shove Jacob. He doesn't move but his anger is shocked into complacent as the tears sting my eyes.  
>"She is not my mother!" I growl at him and he stares at me in confusion, looking to Edward as I hit him uselessly "She isn't my aunt or my fucking sister and how dare you leave me with her after..."<br>"What?" Jacob murmurs

"After you had an affair with..." of course this would be the time the blood rushes to my ears and my vision blurs, the pain taking over my limbs and heat scratching over my spine "She isn't your concubine and stop acting so..."  
>"Innocent and hurt..." I mumble barely registering that I have fallen over "About this..."<p>

"Divorce..."

Xx~xx~xX

I don't really care that he says nothing ever happened.

They could all tell me so many versions of how I had picked up and put together two very different pieces on this puzzle and that Leah is Jacob's closest and dearest friend. My gut tells me it; they are closer...

Maybe everyone is scared because of what Carlisle calls 'Wolf Aggression' thrumming through me-it makes staying cool and not pumping venom tainted adrenaline through my body at the slightest exertion of emotion a feat. I have to miss school because of this... I was right about the strength too... I am definitely stronger, still human strong but it is just like with the height. Any improvements are welcome...

Being a wolf... Seth says everything is heightened. And it's not like with vampires apparently because this is a very _animalistic edge. _Being a wolf isn't having every emotion simultaneously heightened... its having the core ones blown out of proportion and fixed on the ready in your mind and heart.

The core emotions... lust, anger and aggression. Hunger doesn't really count in there, even after phasing and learning to calm down it's always there... but then again, none of these things should count... **I am not a wolf.**

I am not a wolf, I keep telling myself. But when I look at my dad's one picture after his third phase, I kind of look like him. I kind of look like him _a lot_...

I can't be a wolf, because being a wolf means turning into an _actual wolf_ and if I turn with the increased venom my body produces there is only one outcome...

I just can't be wolf.

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Here is to hoping this breaking of the imprint remains realistic to the twi-verse. I kind of hate it when people make it so easy and a simple "I accept not being imprinted to you, Renesme" and the imprint magic falls of. **

**Response to something about Bella and Edward; will they get back together? There would be serious counselling involved for that to work out. But if the imprint does fall of and doesn't kill Jake, what will happen to him and Renesme-response... oh, the possibilities, you tell me your theories and I'll tell you mine within the story! ~excited**

**Hopefully next chapter we will see if Leah and Edward do the unthinkable with regards to Jake and if he survives! Leah would be more likely to deny to herself any such feelings for Charles... just an observation and response to a review. And he is still a kid mentally and emotionally too**


	16. Let Loose and Die 2

_The indiscretions of a teenage boy._

_Any normal boy would have been labelled a hero with what he had accomplished in one day. But he wasn't any normal boy, and what he had accomplished in one day had thrown him past the title of 'hero of war' to collateral... he was now the victim of his own juvenile understanding of his predicament._

**CHARLES EDWARD BLACK**

**INDESCRETIONS OF A TEENAGE BOY**

Week two of no school was not going well...

A little part of me knew the reason for their keeping me home was valid but a larger section flipped the finger at their reason.

Fuck their reason. Fuck it to hell...

"Adrenaline levels have increased..." Carlisle drones, his voice falling into the background of my irritation. I want to yank my hot arm away from his freezing fingers.

I know I am angry, I know I am irritated and I know the three bodies in this room-dead or otherwise-don't warrant such a volatile reaction from me... but there it is. I am angry and irritated and knowing the fact and feeling sluggish and complacent makes me even more angry and irritated and the worst part is... I return right back to passive tranquil body on the medical bed.

Such is the nature of Jasper's gift...

"Heart rate..." Carlisle says, leaving me momentarily to look at the blinking screen. "Relatively normal..."

"No change..." Jacob enters the room and I see red.

And of course it's a short lived emotion, Jasper sighing and mellowing me down and Edward tensing at my reaction. It's nothing personal... I think... So Leah and him had a dalliance or not, it doesn't make a difference-they are keeping things from me. So he has signed the divorce papers, so my mother is somewhere and so there is a picture of what I can only pray is Billy holding my mother up in his arms, in Edward's room...

I pray that's Billy holding my mother up over his head...

"Jasper?" Edward says in a clear voice.

"You know, _your_ gift is much easier _Edward_" Jasper groans "Stop nagging me... he isn't throwing plates at Jake as yet..."

That was one time and I had missed.  
>"No plates in here, unfortunately" Dad laughs unperturbed and grinning at me. I scowl but I am still facing Carlisle whose eyes go wide in a mixture of surprise and sympathy my hostile expression.<p>

Jacob's every reaction is contradictory to any normal one that any father would have at having a son who wants to come to blows with him at the slightest change in the wind. He is beaming, he is happy-sure, he is worried about the venom and everything, but other than that...

He is the wolf version of the Cheshire cat_..._

"Okay, everything is fine" Carlisle finishes "Adrenaline is up, so is his testosterone but the venom is remaining steady... if it doesn't increase the wolf gene won't have an accelerant and things will be able to stabilize gradually"

"Jake" Edward explains quickly "For him to phase... for his body to go through the motion, it needs the venom as an accelerant but..."  
>"Any more venom while I am having the wolf growth spurt and I am dead" I say dryly. "There will be no giant Charles wolf, just regular muscle bound Pale-Face-Quileute-Quarter-Dead me..."<p>

"No wolf...?" he asks Carlisle like I haven't said anything I want to growl at him but all I manage is an eye-roll.

"He can't..." Carlisle says softly "Genes are split... werewolf will never combine with vampire. I theorize that they all need the third element-the human element to merge but were the wolf genes can merge easily with the human part of him... the vampire isn't merging at all..."

"I get it, I saw Bella turn..."Jacob says quickly. "And I am a wolf so... I get it"

"Of course you saw her turn" I breathe, not bothering to voice out that _I didn't get it_ "You've seen it all"

Xx~xx~xX

That's all this week was about; analysing me further.

My body knew to produce trace amounts of venom so I wouldn't die or something. The growing continued but I couldn't phase-that was out of the picture for me because I needed the venom to phase and the venom would kill me if I phased... Genes combining and all the medical watered down jargon was still not explaining why the three sides of me were unable to combine.

Like there was some singular important ritual that had to be performed, but no one knew how to conduct it.

And while all that was happening, I was avoiding Leah and daydreaming about Julia. And in rare moments when I was calm enough to form my barriers... Julia turned into Juleah.

Xx~xx~xX

"Chess is a good game to play" Jasper said, smiling a little. "It keeps the mind occupied..."

"He is like a newborn, isn't he..."Rosalie laughed.

Out of everyone, she seemed to know how to handle this... and in some weird way, she was like a blonde pale Leah. Rosalie wasn't tiptoeing around me, Rosalie wasn't backing down or conforming to my new nature... she just remained Rosalie...

Trying to get me to eat her horrid food, trying to cut my hair, trying to brush it and generally treating me like a life sized adult baby. The Cullen house was full; everyone was back except the two obvious... and it was odd watching them go about their business. It was odd how their business easily turned into _me_ if I happened to pass by a particularly dusty patch of air and sneeze...

"How were you as a Newborn?" I asked her and she sighed, folding her arms delicately in her lap.

"I was... difficult" she laughed eventually and Edward snorted.

He hadn't been one for smiles at all and the abrupt reaction made him sit still in shock of himself for a moment. He relaxed a bit and resumed polishing his piano slowly...

"When you are a Newborn..." she said thoughtfully "You aren't necessarily _childish..._"  
>"<em>You<em> were" Edward scoffed and she rolled her eyes.

"Every aspect of your personality is intensified and then the _thirst..._" she grimaced when she said this "A newborn is careless, reckless and a difficult thing to manage"

"Who was the worst?" I asked and she smiled.

"You would have to ask Carlisle..." she said and Carlisle appeared behind the couch instantly.

"Are you worried you are a handful, little pup?" Emmett grinned at me, winking.

"You are no were near most wolves..." Seth said thoughtfully. "Who was the worst wolf, Jake?"  
>"Paul" Dad stated-avoiding my gaze.<p>

"The worst Newborn is split between... Rose..." Carlisle said, Edward grinning absently "And... Esme"  
>"Esme!" I said loudly and Alice laughed her high tinkling laugh from far of in the kitchen.<p>

"Only because Carlisle found it difficult to be firm with her in her _distracting beauty_" Edward laughed.

"You weren't together when you turned her?" I asked and Carlisle shook his head, leaving no doubt that if he were human he would be blushing. "What makes a Newborn bad?"

"Killing a human too many..."Jacob snorted and Rosalie frowned distastefully at him.

"Esme..." I trailed of, the image of Esme hurting so much as a cockroach failing to materialise in my mind.

"No, I may hold that title" Jasper drawled "Unless we are only counting Newborns that were trying to be institutionalised under this here lifestyle?"  
>"The second one" I grinned at him.<p>

"Then... I guess I hold the title" Esme said softly, appearing at Carlisle's side-Carlisle gave her a light squeeze. I was immediately concerned about Alice being left in charge of the cooking-she was the worst vampire cook second due to insisting on trying every combination of food simultaneously.

"There are many factors that make a Newborn bad" Edward sighed "Besides the obvious"  
>"Like being a pompous prick" Rosalie sniggered.<p>

"Or a conceited entitled _princess_" Edward countered.

"Or a brooding deprived virgin" Emmett added and Rosalie high-fived him.

"How were you...?" I said softly, looking in Dad's general direction "As... a..."  
>"Pretty controlled" Jacob breathed easily "Except for the initial part of wanting to tear Billy to shreds but that passes"<p>

I really shouldn't feel better knowing my dad also had an urge to rip his father apart...

"It's the Alpha gene" Seth murmured. "That whole Dad-Rebellion..."

"Makes you instantaneously volatile against any authority figure" Jacob said softly, and I knew he had been thinking of Billy "I gave Sam a hard time in that regard... always challenging him and getting into it with him. He had to 'Alpha' me a couple of times in different ways..."

"You always found those _hidden_ loopholes" Seth grinned at him.

I had it bad both ways; newborn bratty vampires who killed a few humans in their lack of control and violent giant wolves who hated being told what to do...

I had it bad but there was Jasper sitting awkwardly next to Emmett, arranging his chess pieces and pretending not to be the reason the conversation had flowed so freely in the lounge.

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**JACOB BLACK**

**LET LOOSE AND DIE...**

I couldn't necessarily remember the first distinct day I had felt the pain of the imprint.

Sam could remember it, Quil to some extent had felt something and even Jared when Kim had told him he was trying to use her... they could all remember it because it had been a short lived thing and the pain had been felt by their imprints too. A once off... a little pain for a great love. That's what I thought it was with Renesme...

You have to feel a bit of pain for a great love.

And then it turned on its head, it twisted and I was the bumbling idiot pretending not to see or notice all the _obvious signs _she left me... it turned so drastically and before I knew it; it turned into a drug. The imprint was my drug; all the pain, the shakes and the withdrawal and I would always chase it for that elusive high at the end. No matter how small and meagre the dosage was, no matter how my tolerance built up and each rationing she allowed me became too little...

I was feeling a bit of love through a great pain. And how _great_ that pain was...

Like I was shackled and bound in the hottest most arid desert; in the middle of a parched isolated land and there she was-there s_he was..._ Renesme... standing over me, watching with a sadistic glint in her brown eyes as I burned under the sun, as I shrivelled and died...

And because she was my devil and saviour rolled up in one-she would let me struggle on the edge of dying but never actually let me die. She stood over me, and held the water canteen over my head and let only a single drop of her love fall to my lips with each day...

Just a single drop of water a day in this never ending thirst-that was what loving Renesme felt like.

And there I was in the desert, waiting on her love to drop tentatively on my lips and Charles came along... and brought the purest rain.

Xx~xx~xX

Breaking an imprint...

I would sooner break my bones than walk away from it. It felt like looking for a small gap to squeeze through a massive mound of earth-a mountain. It felt like he was asking me to move this _mountain_, the very thought of doing it made me sweat and groan like a worthless wretch.

_Think about the times before her_... Edward would say, and I would think about them. All the times and they turned blurred and tainted with something that seemed like a dust film and every emotion I had thought was intense and invested in all the many people was dimmed.

Every being was dimmed in her light, except for Charles... and it scared me sometimes that his light shone slightly less bright than hers. Just a fraction less; she was northern star and he was the blinking star next to her...

And that was why I had to try even though it hurt, even though it was nauseating and it felt like revisiting all those times I had wandered mindlessly with nothing but ice cold darkness wrapping my mind and poison dripping through my eyes. When Billy had seen the massive red wolf at the edge of the forest passed out and in his great age he had pushed his wheel chair over the unstable ground and then resorted to crawling towards me... Edward knew it all, he had seen it all and it was what made him remain still and unmoving for months. And here we were again, him and I-sharing in this one thing to rescue her and to save Charles. Saving Charles would mean I should never ever end up like some drugged out wolf... dangerous to myself and those around me...

Memories... I have lost so many... the single most important being the man-sixteen and a man-the man I was before Renesme. I wanted to remember that guy again.

"It's like becoming a vampire..."Edward had said "Like how our human memories fade-that is how every connection to any other being before Renesme is to you. You have to constantly remind yourself of their worth subconsciously, constantly interact with them to keep them at the forefront of things or they fall to the background and fade..." 

At least I had had these connections once; Renesme had been born, opened her eyes and found herself bound. It would be like being born in jail. No wonder she fought harder. Born in jail and only knowing about freedom from the mouths of others...

I was her jail, she was my jail but only she had escaped. Didn't she understand-she had escaped but I was still jailed...

And maybe Charles was the key to these shackles.

But I had to be damn brave to let loose and unlock... I had to be drowning, suffocating and burning simultaneously to find the strength in me to let loose and unlock...

Xx~xx~xX

"How is he?" Leah asks, tapping her pen fast over some thick file.

I am at her office, grumbling about Tanya's presence in Alaska and her refusal to understand that my son was still a boy even if he looked like a man now, Alice's crappy cooking and the stupid timbre wolves trying to intimidate me yesterday... intimidate _me..._ Leah went all animal-lover when I hinted that I had wanted to chew a few of them up.

"Ask him yourself" I snap and she puckers her face, eyes going wide and lower lip jutting out. "I mean, that's what you would say to me when... Nessie... back then"

"This is different" she says frowning "Nothing has changed"

"So then ask him" I repeat, watching her closely.

"I want to give him space" she whines "I don't want to be another body hovering over him and waiting to see if he turns into a wolf"  
>"Is that a jab at me?" I growl.<p>

"Maybe..." she says ominously "So how is he?"  
>"He wants to go back to school" I sigh "He is moody, he is grumpy and Jasper is sick of him but we all agree he is better than any wolf in the temper department"<p>

"Of course he is!" she coos like a mother hen and I roll my eyes.

"Have you seen him lately? Kid looks nineteen!" I chuckle and she busies herself with the papers, a noncommittal sound escaping her mouth. "He hasn't gotten taller but he is definitely filled out. I mean, not like me or anything... but he is past Edward's twiggy frame"  
>"Edward... twiggy?" she raises an eyebrow<p>

"Okay, I am being _petty_ for old time's sake..." I laugh, leaning back into the chair "But wait for this... he wants to fight with me"

"Right, Alpha blood blah blah" Leah sighed "It may have something to do with him thinking you and I had an affair"  
>"Uh..."<p>

"Or the divorce papers" she continues "Or a bit of both"  
>"You are taking this in stride" I huff-trust Clearwater to kill my buzz that my son has the Alpha gene "Thought you would be all 'Dying To Win his Smile Back'"<p>

"I..." she pauses frowning sadly "He wants space"  
>"He wants space?" I echo her in confusion<p>

"You know... he has a... girlfriend" she says slowly as though she is telling herself this "I want him to... just have the whole wolf thing as a background thing and return to school and to Julie"  
>"Her name is Julia" I say stonily<p>

"Oh" she smiles sheepishly.

"And 'You are not Mrs Black'" I say indicatively and she ignores me. "You can't run from it Leah..."  
>"There is nothing to run from, Black" she growls not making eye contact. "There is only you wandering why Charles and I have clear established positions in each others lives"<p>

"Low Blow..." I whisper "But keep living in La-la land if you insist..."

"There is no need for change because I was and always will be _Leah_ to him" she states.

"You can still be Leah to him now... but Leah with a nice ass" it's a joke but it comes out dry and severe. She looks at me with wide terrified eyes and drops her gaze to her papers again.

"I guess you have it worked out to an extent" I murmur "And I thank you for your ingenuity; he gets to be a kid, he gets to have a girlfriend and not worry about making you jealous or trying to make you jealous so you will notice him..."

"Classic Claire" she grins at me.

"Yeah" I chuckle and continue "He gets to have Playboy tucked under his bed, a few flings and be a _dog_"  
>"What!"<p>

"That's what every teenage boy needs to go through before he can be his own man" I tell her.

"And every teenage girl needs a few zits, a few bad hair days and unrequited love" she smiles at me gently "A sexy moment, a slut moment and a bitchy moment... and one photo of her puking over a toilet seat"  
>"Sounds like a Quileute girl I once knew" I laugh.<p>

"It's a certain half-vampire girl who never was..."

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**CHARLES EDWARD BLACK**

It was him.

"You can keep the picture if you like it so much" Edward laughs and then stops suddenly when the paper crunches as my fingers curl violently around it "Charles...?"  
>"Why is she so young" I ask, my voice level besides all the shaking happening inside me. "And why is he... as he is?"<p>

"Charles... you are ruining the photo" he whispers and I pull my attention back to the picture, relaxing my hand and smoothing the picture out. He is grinning at the camera man and she is pulling his hair mercilessly in her toddler glee.

"This is my father..." I state and Edward repositions himself immediately to the door, murmuring something fast but I hear Jasper's name. Jasper went hunting... there was no escaping this.

"Yes" he says eventually watching me like I am bomb and he has the option of defusing me or running for his own life.

"He saw her being birthed" I murmur and he nods this time. "He was there _always _as she grew up..."

"Hmm"

"And then he had _sex _with her" I spat and Edward grimaced. "And then here I am"  
>"They were married" he says in a hollow tone.<p>

"Oh, you would make sure of that..." I laugh hard and sarcastically "In all your nineteen hundreds glory"

"It wasn't like that..."  
>"Child grooming" I murmur and his eyes go wide-we had different ideas of what it appeared like, it seems "That's the fuck what it was about..."<br>He wants to chastise me on my language but he doesn't, he wants to enter my mind and he _does_ but what is going on inside there won't help him right now.

"No" he breathes after another long pause. "It's okay Emmett"

"Emmett..." I turn around but Emmett isn't behind me like I had expected. He was still downstairs and Edward had been answering his thoughts. Rose is with Alice fixing the house after I had smashed it up; Esme and Carlisle are at Carlisle's work charity event. What were three hours alone with Charles without Jasper-he isn't as bad as any wolf or newborn, right?

"They loved each other... I would never have consented..."  
>"There are so many things I have a feeling you would have consented to because of <em>Bella<em>" I murmur and he flinched in pain. I was being ruthless and I knew it but I couldn't stop... "Is that... was that why I grew up with Leah?"  
>"Huh?"<br>"She was keeping me away from this?" I wave the picture in the air and he stares at it instead of looking at me.

Leah... Leah throwing me in the air when I was a child, Renesme watching sulkily in the background because she had been unable to keep me from crying and here comes Leah with one tickle and a silly face and I am laughing like I am on weed.

"Huh" I blink at his memory "How old is my mum, anyway...!"  
>"Uhm..." he just looks at me.<p>

"I need... this is fucked up" I growl "_You_ are _all_ fucked up!"  
>"Charles..." he calls as I head down the stairs, trying to shove past Emmett but he refuses to let me pass. "Charles, listen... calm down and we will find a way of..."<br>"Move!" I growl at Emmett and he growls back, his growl rumbling through his chest and reverberating through the space of the stairway "I said fucking move!"

I shove at him once, then I back away two paces and ram into him and bounce of painfully. Edward is saying something but I don't give a fuck right now... I can hear the blood pumping in my ears, my own heart beat filling the air and everything wobbles. But this time, I don't black out or tense upwards as the repressed wolf inside me tries to escape like so many times before...

I can smell him-I can smell Emmett. I can see him and he isn't a pale beautiful big man-he is something _other_... and as I rush back, knocking Edward back-I run at him with so much speed and momentum that he is forced to move back two steps in surprise just like Edward. I can't stop the motion, the velocity carries me and I go flying across the dining room, clipping the wood table with to much momentum and sending it whizzing into the air and crashing into the wall and I end my journey through the window. Before I could even comprehend that the world wasn't rushing at me and I wasn't fainting and that this was what it felt like to move inhumanly fast...

I am outside and groaning at the base of a bent tree.

"Charles!" Edward yells in a too high voice, my ears ringing.

"Shush" I breathe, rubbing my arm "_Keep it down_..."  
>"Are you..." he stares at the bent tree, his hands still hovering to help me up.<p>

"I need to take a walk" I breathe, shaking my limbs to ease the aching and ignoring the black veins popping over my arms.

"I don't think..."Edward starts and Emmett sighs.

"He needs a walk..." Emmett says shaking his head "A change of scenery and topic... a distraction"

Xx~xx~xX

In about a week, the entire Denali Clan is scheduled to return to Alaska... but they are to remain hidden.

Their house is similar to how the Cullen Manor is but larger oddly, considering there are apparently fewer of them. It's empty-I had been secretly hoping for Tanya to be home.

"Where is she?" I ask Edward. He is looking at me oddly-hell, I looked at me oddly when I passed the mirror in the foyer.

"Hunting probably"

"With Jasper?" I ask and he chuckles lightly.

"No, not with Jasper... hunting is not the same as... eating" he murmurs "Vampires normally want to hunt in company they are comfortable with, they trust and are intimate with... not to say Tanya and Jasper don't have that..."  
>"They don't have <em>that<em>" I state but he ignores me

"... but its an intricate type of sanctuary, trust and intimacy" he sighs "I guess we can go back... even though our walk turned into a drive"  
>"My legs hurt" I say defensively<p>

"You ran under point one seconds" he stated looking at me closely "You budged Emmett"  
>"It was more like I <em>toppled<em> him" I say dryly and he grins softly

"Trust me, not even Jacob in wolf form can _easily_ topple Emmett to the ground-you simply surprised us both" he says looking at the dark vein twirling along my forearm with badly hidden anxiousness "Well, it seems we have found that change we were watching out for"  
>"More lab test" I groan "Yay"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

The image I had of who Leah and I are, is tarnished by this one thing. Why did it have to be Leah he cheated on Renesme with... if he cheated... but it doesn't make any other logical sense than the one conclusion I have come to.

And yet when she told me I had it all wrong, I had felt no doubt in my heart-as was with all things when Leah told me the truth. Maybe I was holding on to her being _tarnished _and imperfect because having her remain a beautiful loving strong being in my eyes was dangerous...

We were in a partnership in life-that had been our motto. Equals. Since I was young, since I could remember, she was Leah-never really mother, aunt, and sister... just Leah. Leah who I knew would be there when everyone got preoccupied with other things, Leah who would know what sandwiches I wanted for school or play video games with me with the right amount of cursing and crudeness that it would never feel like I had no friends.

I don't know what they thought they were doing. How far did they think they could run from the past and keep it from me when every fibre of my being was consumed and stained with whatever had happened back then. The anger and shame at seeing that picture of a toddler mother and my grown father diminishes and all that I am left with is confusion...

I don't know what they thought they were doing, but they were doing it all wrong.

Xx~xx~xX

"When are you coming to school?" Julia asked again. She was slightly, minutely worried about this 'Mono' that I had and more worried that she hadn't gotten a chance to show me of.

"I am not sure..." I add a cough and a wheeze "...Edward and I are trying to rest and get rid of it fast"  
>"Oh, well..." she murmured sadly "Do get well. I was really hoping on showing you another <em>interesting <em>toilet"  
>A pause. A memory. Edward coughs from somewhere-vampires never cough...<p>

"Charles?"  
>"I am here..." I rasp clenching the receiver tighter in my hand.<p>

"There was something else that was interesting that I wanted to show you..."  
>"Like what?" I ask dumbly.<p>

"Like..." she begins but the phone goes dead, Edward looking at me reproachfully, his finger on the cut button and I can feel the heat in my cheeks.

"Oh, my fuck...!" Emmett hollers from the lounge "Kid's got more game than the NBA... more dazzle than... than you, Edward!"

"Were you _seriously_ going to have phone sex in a house with _vampires_?" Edward asks dryly, his eyes narrowed and lips pursed.

"Uh... we have regular everyday sex in a house full of vampires... you seriously can't expect him to be a century old virgin waiting on brown eyed megalomaniacs!" Emmett guffawed.

"Some respect..." Edward began.

"Respect the guy code..." Emmett laughed "And don't cock-block!"

Xx~xx~xX

It may be the height, it may be the muscles and it may be the cleared skin or the hard jaw or the way my hair has suddenly developed some lustre and bounce and even though it's still unmanageable in a very Edward way in its length... it looks good...

This _feeling_ is good...

They should find the concentrate of the wolf gene and dissect it and sell it in mass production. Better than steroids...

"Get away from the mirror" Emmett sighs "Your still a pup"  
>"I am Hercules Pup" I laugh, turning around and peeking to see my back. "I hope when this is over I don't shrink..."<br>"You won't..."Carlisle says "But you will need to go to the gym"

"I don't think my mirror has ever received that much attention" Edward drones.

"Bella's image was practically glued to the thing" Emmett stated, standing next to me and knocking my momentary vanity three notches down by flexing his much more prominent bicep.

Xx~xx~xX

It wasn't easy convincing Edward, Carlisle and Esme that I needed at least four hours of alone time. It wasn't easy convincing them that going to see Julia wasn't going to end up with a CSI crime scene invading her neighbourhood. It wasn't easy... and but pointing out that I only ever did loose it when something family related popped up helped-and sent them on a little guilt trip.

I was a level headed non-phasing wolf in other words. And besides, they wanted their own alone time to discuss the days events without me being around to frown and huff and scowl... so I took my bike and cycled across town, the wind in my hair and feeling... feeling _good. _

I had to make the most of my time of freedom...

"You came!" she squealed, opening the door and staring at me with wide eyes.

"I came... like I said I would" I chuckled, feeling the impending heat bubbling beneath my skin at her insistent staring.

"You look..."  
>"Better, trust me"<p>

"Better" she breathed and then lurched forward and kissed my cheek. "Much better..."

Xx~xx~xX

Her room was what I had expected it to be, given her personality but I still walked through the door and gazed at everything in a mixture of bewilderment and awe. She had banners on one end of the wall, various pictures of her at some ceremonies and events spanning maybe ten years of her life and little trophies on top of her shelves and plaques and on the east side of her room, below the window she had an ottoman with two sets of pompoms on it.

Words like 'Class President', 'First Prize' and 'Queen of the Ball' flashed over my eyes as I looked over everything

"What do you think?" she asked watching me with a certain gleam in her eyes I had never seen delivered to me.

"It's... you are a really busy person"

"Mhmm" she breathed sitting on her bed "I want to be the best at everything I do"  
>"We can't all be the best" I laughed<p>

"Well, I can" she stated haughtily "And I will..."  
>"You want to be a lawyer?" I asked her and she giggled, shaking her head-her hair bouncing around her face.<p>

"How do you know that?" she laughed "Is it obvious... it's obvious isn't it"  
>"Uh..." was it obvious? "Yeah, it's... pretty obvious. You look it"<br>"I do, don't I" she sighed, smoothing her form fitting wool vest over while eyeing me "And you, what do you want to be"

"Isn't it obvious" I said watching her-she blushed and played with a strand of her hair.

"A model" she said softly

"A model...?"I turned around and looked at my reflection in her mirror and frowned. Somehow that offended me...

"No, not a model..." she giggled "A dancer... for Chippendales"  
>"Now you are just teasing" I said to her feeling a little at ease because she was equally as nervous as I was, blushing and fluttering her eyelashes "It's obvious... Julia, come on..."<br>"A pilot"

"I get sick on flights" I blurted and then laughed at how that might never happen again.

"Hmm" she murmured, pulling my hand so I could sit next to her "Why don't you whisper it in my ear..."

"Whisper... it?" Have you ever been excited to get on a roller coaster ride, jumping up and down the whole time you had to wait in the queue for your turn and the moment you were right by the entrance, your seat waiting for you... you wanted to bolt in the opposite direction?

That's were I was now... this was much easier in my mind and I could hum the tune but I didn't know the words to the song.

I dipped my head to her ear and breathed-more like panted-when I could smell her light perfume. She shuddered and I felt the heat swimming through me at her reaction, like she was enticing some _other_ side of me... I nudged the skin below her ear with my nose, the soft skin of her neck-no actual instruction to the action-and she moaned. So I kissed her there-no idea why it was the most logical thing to do when I was supposed to be whispering to her that I wanted to be an _accountant_...

She groaned her head falling back lazily and I didn't stop... she fell back onto the bed and I followed, tasting and nipping at the smooth flesh of her skin, ignoring the thundering in my ears and allowing her to lead my hand to uncharted territories I had only ever imagined.

I was sure Julia and I had gone about things the wrong way; surely it should have been first kiss, then we...

"Ngh" she squeezed my hand over her small breast and I felt the soft telltale erection of her nipple through the vest, shirt and bra. "Wait... wai... uh, _wait_"

I paused, lying flat on her bed on my back and watched with unashamed curiosity as she hurriedly took of her vest, then her shirt. She stopped then, grinning at me, with her hands behind her back pausing their unclipping of the lime coloured cotton bra.

"Well..." she said quirking her lips to the left in a juvenilely seductive manner. "Take _your _shirt of"

I took it off quickly and tossed it somewhere in her perfectly arranged room and resumed my staring at her, raising an eyebrow for her to continue. She sighed, as though she didn't want to take the lime frilly thing of and unclipped it slowly, pushing the straps over her arms lethargically and allowing the bra to sit oddly with nothing but the tiny swell of the flesh of her breasts to hang on.

"Take it off!" I growled and she giggled when I attacked her playfully, picking her up lightly and placing her beneath me on the bed-taking the bra slowly of her body and throwing it petulantly to the side.

"_Eager_... a lovely contrast to our _previous_ encounter" she giggled and I blushed, frowning at her.

What was I going to do now... she was watching me with that look of hers that always made her seem like she was challenging someone, something and everything. She was challenging me now, hinting that I didn't know what I was doing-which I didn't-but she was still enjoying the attention. Her breasts... virgin or not, I knew the kind of boobs I liked-firm full ones. Her breasts were small and the nipples pink and large and she was a whimsical shape-soft almost indiscernible curves and palest skin.

I lowered my head to her chest and captured the nipple in my mouth-stupidly wondering if sucking would hurt her and opted for a twirling of the tongue. She groaned at that and fisted her hands in my hair and pushed my head down hard against her breast, my nose pressed into the soft flesh and air circulation cut of. I opened my mouth over the breast and gasped for air; my eyes wide and ears filled with her little moans. 

"Uhhh..."I groaned when she deliberately began pulling me down over her and rubbing her leg on my erection.

"Do the..." she begged breathily "Neck thing..."

"Neck...?" I caught on and we fell into a weird uneven rocking motion, her leg between my leg and vice versa-rubbing slow and hard at each other.

I kissed her mouth finally and she returned the awkward motion with surprise, pushing her tongue into my mouth a bit aggressively and then biting me lower lip once before giving up on the action and unashamedly closing her eyes and falling into her own bliss. A thousand thoughts were swimming in my head and they were all clouded by the smell of Julia in the air. She pushed my hand violently to her chest and I hesitated, remembering how I had almost suffocated when I had ventured there...

Maybe I should leave the breast alone... booby-trap...

"Ngh..." and there she was, in the shower, steaming and glistening with every perfect feature of a woman hidden behind haze and steamed glass. "Ju..."  
>"Yeah" she groaned "Mhmm... <em>Charles<em>"

She led my hand from her breast were I had been absently kneading, trailed it down her middle, over her stomach and let it rest by her abdomen-my fingers grazing the edge of her pants tentatively. I curled them back instantly and in fright, my hand a hard fist on her abdomen and she groaned in frustration.

The rushing began, full force-and I ignored it. I kissed her neck insistently, nudging the flesh there in mesmerized concentration and didn't stop her when her hand slipped past my waistband and scratched at the hair beneath there. How could she breathe with the air perforated in her light daisy perfume mingling with a distinct heady smell that was driving me insane, that had turned our rocking into long hard strokes...?

She sighed into the air and her hand went around me and pulled lightly. I growled and like before-she ignored how inhuman the sound was. My mind was a chaotic flurry of overlapping images, emotions rocking in my chest; anger, aggression and lust... and I braved her, I slipped my hand under her pants and trailed my index finger cautiously down, past shaved skin and through hot moist folds and rested it on her stiff nub.

I really shouldn't have scoffed at the jocks in the changing room when they had been swapping stories...

I imitated her motions on me and she began moaning freely. Her hand should have been the distracting factor to all of this, but instead I lost myself in her neck again.. nipping, nudging, kissing and smelling her from there. And her groans and whimpers for more urged me on...

I thought I could hear my blood rushing and then I realised it was her blood rushing... her heart beat thumping loud and erratic in the air and her smell whirling in my nose. I growled, red filling my eyes and my throat constricting as the electricity began flowing freely in my veins.

The nips weren't enough-it turned out. I licked the length of her neck greedily and she moaned freely, begging for more. Her heart was skipping, thudding and the sound was alluring in its delicateness. My breath was hitching, my mind clouded and ears intent on only hearing the breath escaping from her lips and nose, the way her heart hammered inside her chest and the divine torrent moving through her veins, under her hindering skin...

The nips turned to slightly harder bites and she begged for more, groaning and moaning easily-telling me she was on the edge and wanted more. So I bit once, her flesh turning pink before returning to its paleness and she began chanting my name. Then I bit her again, licking over the same spot in alternate bites and hot licks and she was loosing it... but I wasn't with her. My own release seemed tied to this motion on her neck, her hand going slack around my length and I didn't care. I bit her lightly but it was enough, I had weakened the skin there already and I tasted something vinegary and sweet at the same time.

"Oooh, Charles..." she moaned, arching on the bed and oblivious to my sucking on her neck. She fell back down once, panting and giggling and the high I was on began to abate.

"Argh..." I moved an inch from her neck and stared at the purple mark with a red scratch like wound the size of a finger nail. "I am so sorry...!"

"Huh?" she stared at me in confusion "Uhm, I should be apologising..."  
>"Your neck"<p>

"Oh, what... a little love bite" she giggled, touching her neck gently. The wound was tiny; I had nibbled at the skin to break it and not bitten through. It was already sealing, only a smudge of blood tainted her finger when she removed her hand. "You can mark me _all you want_, Charles"  
>"Mark..." I said in a hollow voice, moving away from her and sitting upright on the bed, fixing my pants. "Animals do that, not people"<br>"Charles?" she breathed from the bed, reaching her hand over the bed and searching for something. "Relax, you are acting like you were about to commit murder..."  
>"I have to go"<br>"Oh, come on..." she sighed, pulling her vest over her and frowning "I am sorry about not returning the favour, you are surprisingly good at that..."  
>"Surprised us both" I grumbled pulling my shirt over me "I have to go, Julia"<br>"Charles..." she said in a warning voice but I left her room, moving carefully down the stairs.

"Charles, at least let me drop you of" she offered, standing nervously on her porch.

"Sorry Julia" I mumbled propping my bike up and casting her one last apologetic look "That... sorry. I'll see you at school or call..."  
>"You better do <em>both!<em>" she instructed with a huff, slamming the door.

Xx~xx~xX

I hadn't meant to turn left instead of right, but once I did it-it seemed the most logical thing to do.

I didn't want to be around them right now, around their love, concern and anxiousness. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts either... I wanted to talk about something random and forget that I was Charles Black. Tanya was the only vampire mildly concerned that I was a walking mixing pot of different species.

I hoped she was there... I hoped that they were back at home worrying over my running too fast or thicker skin and too busy to notice that I was late or _would be _late with regards to Alice Cullen. The Alaskan sun sets relatively late and that made my alibi work better. I didn't bother checking the time-that would be incrimination by _Edward_ if I knew the time. Guestimating seemed better-it was maybe four thirty-or five... maybe later.

"Hello?" I called, walking slowly through the foyer.

The decorating was a lot harsher than the warmness of the Cullen house and it conveyed many different cultures in it. I walked carefully over the stone floor, my boots failing in my plight to be quiet and made my way to the lounge. They didn't have a television set-only a large painting decades old lay over the fire place-a painting of all the members of the Denali Clan.

"Hmm" Tanya breathed and I jumped two steps away from the painting to the side in shock. "I hardly ever get any visitors..."  
>"That's because you never give anyone a chance to visit you" I laughed nervously.<p>

"Well... it is fun irritating Edward" she laughed, gliding into the room and touching the back of the couch gently "And I was enjoying watching you grow"  
>"Uhm" I stammered and then pointed at the painting quickly "Is that Kate...?"<br>"Lovely isn't she" Tanya sighed "Look at her eyes... how round they are; a sign of a being who loves to quickly. It was her greatest endearing quality and yet..."  
>"It turned into her weakness?" I guessed and she smiled sadly<p>

"You have rather wide and large eyes..." she sighed "You see too much"

"I ignore too much" I muttered.

"You smell lovely" she said thoughtfully "You made human friends..."

"Oh, you mean..." I ran my hand over my front, remembering my lesson from Alice on scents and distinguishing them. "Other people's smells stick to you?"  
>She laughed, tilting her head to the side, her teeth glinting in the little light and eyes watching me mischievously.<p>

"Yes... all sorts of smells can stick to you, Charles" she laughed "But _your_ scent should never be contaminated"  
>"I have heard something similar" I mumbled standing awkwardly by the fire place.<p>

"So how is that going" she asked slightly curious, jumping fluidly from the back of the couch and landing in a perfect sultry pose; her one leg raised elaborately and bent my the knee and the other stretched out before her. She watched me closely, her dark eyes following my every gesture and odd movement.

" The... smelling?" I asked her and she nodded. "It's... subtle"  
>"Can you smell me?"<p>

"No..." I murmured "It just... happens"  
>"I can smell you" she stated.<p>

"I know you can"  
>"You smell like... you were up to something not more than an hour ago" her eyes flashed and pale pink lips quirked to one side. "And I bet it was with a human..."<br>"You can smell...?" I spluttered and then shut my dangling jaw with a resounding clink of my teeth, blood rushing freely to my face.

"And now, the room smells lovely too..." she laughed. "You remind me of Bella"  
>"I'll take that as a compliment" I muttered.<br>"That is the only way you can take it, Charles" she breathed appearing inches from me, her hand imitating my own in touching the mantle. "You remind me of Bella... except you smell of a different sort of _lovely_"  
>"Like something tasty?" I said-my voice dropping suddenly.<p>

"Not really edible like her, but let's put it this way..."Tanya murmured, taking a slow languish step forward "You smell like something I would like to lick and taste..."

This had been the logical place to come. Or maybe I was being reckless and impulsive... or just maybe I had been this way all along. It was no secret what Tanya was capable of, it was no secret that Tanya had difficulty understanding certain morals when it came to what she wanted and I had heard enough to know that she wanted beauty, uniqueness...

So maybe, just maybe... this was an informed subconscious decision that had been brewing for days in my mind.

"A sweet?" I stuttered and she laughed her clear yet textured laugh.

"You really are a _baby_" she said but the way she said it didn't make me angry, the way she was looking at me made me feel hypnotised and then she placed a finger on my cheek. "You want to tell me what you were up to with your human and how you came to be here, with me... alone without supervision?"  
>"I can do what I <em>want<em>" I growled and she grinned-my eyes drawn to her full smooth lips.

"So what do you _want_ to do, Charles..." she sang tracing my jaw and resting her finger somewhere on my collar bone "That has led you here?"  
>"Uh..."<p>

"You don't know how to say it?" she asked and I nodded dumbly. "You want to show Tanya...?"  
>I pointed at her-well, meant to and my finger met her flat stomach in her sudden closeness.<p>

"Rosalie tells me you know how to hide your thoughts from Edward..." she asked softly and I nodded again.

"It... I have to be in control really" I breathed unable to look away from her black flat eyes "Anyone can do it, I suppose... but I don't have to hold the wall up and..."  
>"You and I are going to share a secret" she whispered by my ear, her breath spanning my heated skin in ice wind "I am going to show you how a secret between a vampire and a human works, we are going to make this the most desirable secret ever shared and you Charles are..."<br>She paused and I felt the air warm as she leaned back and I tried to pry my heavy eyelids open-she was staring at me with wonder, biting her lip lightly.

"How much your appearance resembles Edward" she said softly-yearningly.

"I am not _him_"  
>"No, you are not..." she murmured her scent clouding my mind in sweetness and paranormal perfume. "You Charles are something <em>other<em>..."  
>"And you Charles..." she breathed tugging my hand and in that <em>moment<em> she told a truth and a lie "Will never known a lover like I"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**JACOB BLACK**

"No, no... No!" Leah roared, banging the kitchen door and storming into the lounge "I am going to find him..."  
>"The last thing he needs is us overreacting" Jasper murmured "He is already on edge..."<br>"Overreacting!" Leah snarled rounding on Jasper who quickly reappeared at the other side of the lounge "It's eight in the goddamned evening"  
>"Sun has just set..." Emmett tried. "Maybe five minutes of light"<p>

"Is now the time for you idiots to listen to me..."she laughed derisively "And not be overbearing protective freaks?"  
>"I am surprised by your reaction" I said coolly "You were all for his freedom... he is at Julia's... you know his girlfriend. He is a teenage boy..."<br>"Call Julia" she demanded and I sighed, looking at Edward to do the honours.

We listened intently as the phone rang, Carlisle trying Charles cell once more and when Julia picked up the phone they all froze.

"Hello Julia" Edward murmured "Could I speak to Charles, please"  
><em>"He isn't here" <em>Julia sighed. "_He left at about three..."  
><em>"Oh" Edward said his face going hard "Thank you. goodnight"  
>He didn't wait for her response and clicked the phone, throwing it indifferently over the table.<p>

"Alice" I asked and she shook her head.

"Hazy, hazy, hazy" she chanted "He hasn't been clear since the growth spurt... Argh. I see... woods"  
>"He is in the woods" Leah stated and bolted through the door to the outside<p>

"Leah...!" I called after her but she was already shaking, barely saving her shoes before bursting through her clothes as the slender grey wolf. She looked at me once and bolted over the manicured lawn to the forest.

"I have to go with her..."I told Carlisle who nodded "She will chew his head of at this point when she finds him" 

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Oh" Alice breathed and he watched with her as the scene played out in her vision.

There was no time or date when it came with her visions but she had mastered a general way of telling if it was near future of further along. It had only been ten minutes since Leah and Jacob had taken to the woods and Carlisle and Emmett had decided to double back to the Black house in the suburbia.

There he was, in her arms... the light dimming in his eyes as Tanya clutched him desperately in her arms. Her white naked back shining; the Alaskan nighttime came suddenly and abruptly in the space of fifteen minutes she thought, the moon hanging in the sky grimly. And then the vision shimmered and blurred, it faded as suddenly as it had appeared and she groaned in frustration.

"Oh no" Edward breathed. "We have to... _oh no_, it's dark... the moon!"  
>They looked outside simultaneously and saw the white disc in the sky. It was a few degrees of from its required alignment from her vision... they had mere seconds before the future would play out...<p>

"Rose, come... he is at the Denali house!" Edward called leaving the house in a flurry, the sound of his sister and mother following his too quick run through the forest.

She tried to see the vision again but it was gone. She didn't know what that meant, she didn't want to know... but a small part of Alice Cullen prayed it meant things had gone differently.

Xx~xx~xX

She had been unable to stand her families attempt at wheedling out her emotion from her. The hurt, pain and despair... it was easier to leave it alone than to tackle it. Distractions were always needed then and although she had sworn to Edward and Carlisle that she would help to keep the child safe, she had secretly not wanted to return to Alaska ever again. She had come alone to explain this to them but somehow she had seen him, seen Edward healed when no one had been able to and to know that this other being had done that had intrigued her. And like most things that intrigued her, she found herself slightly obsessed... distracted from pain and loneliness... and how valuaed were distractions in her immortal internal solitude.

It had happened, they had all been sad but the fact that her sister had been an intricate part of her being didn't mean she had to break down into a thousand little pieces.

A thousand little pieces...

That was what she was in this moment, her limbs twitching uselessly above her head and reaching for her. She lay on the ground futilely, the taste of his blood refusing to abate from her tongue, the smell of it in the air making her groan pathetically and the damning pain of betrayal and selfish foolery eating at her centre. She was a twitching naked torso with no limbs in the snow... and she wished she could get up and run-run away again, like she had done so many times in the past two decades. Run towards the house to the beautiful desirable enslaving smell of his blood. Run to Edward and pray he would forgive her. Run into a fire and end it all...

"I am so sorry" she cried but her sound was deafened by Leah Clearwater's wailing and swearing for Charles to wake up from within the house. The red wolf-Jacob-pawed the ground in confusion and fear and she listened with him as the beautiful boy's heart beat slow and lethargically and wished she was not so selfish. She wished she was not such a curious being, a childish being...

Wide eyes meant loving freely. What did dark black ones mean?

Demon.

"They are coming..." she rasped to Jacob who growled at her "Warn them... his blood, they will not be able to..."

He huffed, his eyes still glistening from the giant tears that had been rolling freely down them and bolted to the direction of the many ghosting feet.

Xx~xx~xX

"Carlisle...!" Leah screamed, fighting Edward's hands and reaching her hands out for a motionless Charles on the bed.

"Get her out of here!" Carlisle hissed, throwing a perplexed Jacob a hard look "Jacob, get her out of here... I need Edward here!"

He moved then, snapping out of his reverie-trying not to make the comparison of his son lying on the bed still and motionless, his heart beat continually faltering even with Carlisle's insistent pumping-trying not to make the comparison to Isabella Swan the Human's death.

He pushed Edward's freezing arms away from her, and held her in his. She wouldn't let up; they fought violently down the stairs, the plastering chipped, paintings thrown down from their hanging and her form shimmering and blurring but never able to move past that stage. He let her hit him, she punched at his face, dislocated his jaw, cracked a rib and went as low as kneeing his groin-but he didn't falter in his understanding that they needed to let Carlisle save him even if it felt like they needed to be there touching him in some way.

They pushed outside to the front were the rest of the Cullen house hold stood sombrely, watching the face of the house-watching Carlisle's office window and listening to Charles steadily slowing heartbeat.

"Leah!" Rosalie cried, attempting to pull her but her face was met with a deafening whack of Leah's closed fist. She stumbled back in surprise, the impact only stinging slightly in Leah's shifter-human form but managing to break Leah's hand.

She didn't feel the pain. She cried his name out, twisting and thrashing in Jacob's grip.

"Let me go to him!" she roared "He needs me...!"  
>"I am so sorry..."Tanya emerged from the trees, a blanket wrapped around her and face bearing a twisted whitish purple scar.<p>

"Get away from here, you _stupid_ wanton whore!" Rosalie roared at her and she flinched, casting Esme one pleading look that was returned with unrecoverable shame and disgust before disappearing through the trees.

Xx~xx~xX

"Don't stop pressing..."Carlisle instructed hurriedly and remembered his reasons for Edward remaining with him.

Besides being the best to manage blood, Edward could hear his thoughts and he wouldn't have to use up his air giving him instructions. He didn't trust a single molecule of air in the room with Charles blood tainting various cotton fabrics littered around the place.

The wound was barely discernable, already healed and remaining an angry red-purple mark on his neck. And that was were the problem lay...

Edward nodded his head in understanding. He pulled the morphine from the small refrigerator and allowed Carlisle to set up everything. He didn't know what to do... but first he would stop the small pained moans Charles was emitting.

From previous experience with venom bites on wolves-one experience really-Carlisle knew the venom had stopped the wound from healing and that had allowed him to suck it out. Charles wound was healed, the venom was in his blood stream mingling with the venom Charles was already producing freely...

He watched horrified as the monitor began blinking slowly, the green line edging forward and up-indicating the rise in venom in Charles blood stream.

"Shit..." he let out and groaned internally when the spike zigzagged two notches upwards drastically, Charles heart picking up pace too sudden and thrashing in his chest. He was burning, Edward thought as he listened to the subconscious mind of his grandson.

"He is in pain..." Edward let out, shutting his mouth quickly and Carlisle groaned in frustration, his hands clawing at his hair. There was no point to get to the venom; it was swimming in his bloodstream, contaminating every cell...

Charles stopped moving suddenly and they watched horrified as he slackened. They listened gravely as his heart slowed and Leah's swearing, crying and yells turned to feeble whimpers. The needle letting in the morphine in Charles blood stream pulled outwards but no blood dribbled out.

Before the third final beat of Charles heart resounded through the air, Jacob Black had burst into a wolf and bolted through the woods in a frenzied irrecoverable lunacy never before seen, howling dolefully-his form shimmering and blurring even though he was _already_ the giant russet wolf of his soul.

Before the second final beat, Leah Clearwater upon realising she was free of her Alpha's arms, scrambled towards the house and up the stairs.

And as she entered the office, throwing the door of its hinges-as she gazed at his sudden white ashen face still and emotionless and before his heart gave out and their world was filled with silence-he blurred and shimmered in a mass of bronze fur; holding the form for nanosecond as a giant almost bronze wolf before solidifying into a still beautiful dead young man.

Xx~xx~xX


	17. Awakening

The room thrummed with the impact of his last heart beat. The air swirling with the cold brandishing of his spontaneous phasing for that single second. And the heat shimmered lethargically around his cooling body from the sacred magic he carried in his body that had thrust against an ancient poison lingering in his blood.

She stood still by the beds end, her hand touched the bedding tentatively. He was naked and turned awkwardly on his side so his front was hidden, the covers slipping of the bed with his dangling arm. He was too pale, his skin an almost matted tone from the golden pale-russet tint it usually resided in. His head was turned to the side, his face hidden in the pillow and his long unruly hair a wild shimmering bronze halo around him.

The image lasted only a second as Carlisle moved swiftly around her, his angelic face torn and determined and rearranged Charles body on the bed, laying him down gently and covering him properly. He could hear their ghosting feet moving through the house; they would come to see him. Their nephew, grandson... to so many degrees.

"No..." Rosalie breathed stepping through the shattered door frame timidly and then "No...!" 

They gathered in Carlisle's office slowly, afraid to reach the bed and moved around a motionless Edward. They had never understood the concept of 'death' the way they should have in their immortality. They knew what it entailed, they knew what the technicalities were... but never had they managed to point the occurrence so directly and close to their own unbeating hearts.

Their death meant they were left as nothing but a pile of ash.

His death saw him laying there as though he were asleep.

As though if they yelled for him to comeback from the bright lights of heaven, he would hear them and come running back into his body and inhale the air greedily, his heart thumping familiarly.

They watched as Leah touched the shape of his feet under the pale blue sheet experimentally. She ran her fingers softly over the tip of his foot; over his toes and murmured "You were only a size five yesterday".

Surely she would drop dead right this minute, she thought. Surely this would be the moment she would go mad... she wanted the madness just like what Jacob had. She wanted the crazy lights dancing inside her eyes; she wanted the hollow despairing blackness to turn into a numb indifferent void, she wanted rage and anger so she could tear the world up...

"This doesn't feel right..." she said softly, walking slowly up the length of the bed, her hand clutching her chest "I should give out now; my light should be put out now..."  
>"Le..."Esme tried but her voice failed her and she resumed her sobbing, clutching Rosalie in her arms. They wailed dryly together.<p>

She reached his head; Carlisle had pulled the coves completely over his form. She traced the rim of the sheet and hooked her finger under it, feeling the softness of his hair tickle the skin around the nail of her index finger and pulled slowly. She tugged gently, carefully directing the material over his face and tucked the sheet neatly around his shoulders-his head left out.

"You need to tell her" Leah breathed hoarsely and Carlisle snapped out of his hypnotised watching of her meticulousness with her imprint.

"Phone Edward..."Carlisle gasped reaching his hand out in Edward's direction, but was met with no movement. "Emmett, please retrieve Edward's phone from his pocket"

Emmett moved from Alice and Jasper and pushed Edward gently backwards, moving his hand and reaching for the cell phone quickly. He handed it to Carlisle quietly and resumed watching Leah arrange Charles unruly hair around his face.

"Voicemail!" Carlisle cursed, his face contorting in pain.

"It will have to do" Alice whispered "It will... just tell her"  
>"He is gone" Carlisle breathed after the beep signalled he could drop his message "Charles... he phased. It was what we had feared, he is gone... Jacob... Jacob has given up"<p>

"Jacob has given up on their imprint" Leah murmured "Tell her that"  
>"Jacob has given up on... the imprint" Carlisle said slowly and then cut the phone.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

There are feelings that have a way of dripping into your heart. No amount of self-coaching against allowing such poisonous negativity can save you from the inevitability of such a human reaction. Death is by far as human a transition as being born. Death and Life encompass what makes a solid human being. You live and you die and it is because of these two things that you can stand before the sun and look up to the sky and fear a God never seen because your days and nights are _human and mortal _as your very beating heart. Death and Life and a beating heart are what make a man, what is _human_...

What makes a Supernatural then? For monsters cannot be born ever.

For just a moment, the truth of the supernatural being origins is held in a simple truth and survey. If a supernatural can say that it one had a mother and father once, and that its base makeup constitutes of being a human-then would it not be correct to deduce that the being was not a monster and only _less _than human?

Or _more _than human.

And if a human is encompassed by Death and Life, then a being that was more or less than human in equal quantity, would be ruled by the two but saved from the one...

And if you were the rarity of being more human and less supernatural in skewed unstable measure...

Then death would be what brings you to life.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

I never thought I would ever be this person. This woman... I had seen her a couple of times; I had been around her, gazed at her from a distance with a pitying sort of confusion and even watched her on television...

The woman weeping over a dead lifeless body as though her tears were the cure to a loved ones death; I never thought I would be her but here I was, and they were kind enough or _almost_ as heartbroken as I was to let me be.

No one has lost an imprint yet for me to know how to go about it. I suppose it would begin in a very human sort of despair. It may be less intense than those of Old who had lost their imprints who had been lovers...

It doesn't really matter.

It will begin in a human sort of way; I would feel it and I would go through the motions. And when it was done, and he was gone from my sights... the fissuring of a titanium bonding would begin. One sinewy strand at a time, unlocking and bouncing of his drifting soul and whacking me square in the chest.

And when that titanium steel wrapped wire was free from him, it would skewer me to the earth, straight through the heart and let my blood flow freely till I too, was left cold and hard. Then... and only then, would I be free.

Free to follow him to the afterlife, heaven or whatever reincarnation was out there...

Even to die, and awaken a flower would be okay for me. As long as he was my gardener...

Xx~xx~xX

"It's been an hour, Leah..."Carlisle breathed, tugging me gently.

I growl at him and he stops, sighing and taking the immovable strength of his compassion over to Edward. He tries to talk to his son but Edward's his face is twisted in pain, he is burning and drowning at the same time and he will not moved an inch. Esme and Rosalie allow Carlisle to lead them out. I know what Carlisle wants to do; I know what he must do that none of us are strong enough to play out...

He follows a moaning and weeping Esme and Rosalie out and I can feel his last gaze linger at the back of my head. The door doesn't shut and for a moment I think its Esme's throaty cries carrying up from far of downstairs...

The soft sounds escape my mouth and the blue sheet is drenched in my tears over the expanse of his chest-the fabric turning a blue-lavender colour and sticking to his cold form. I am brave enough to challenge any memories I will have etched at my actions and crawl onto the bed next to him, trying to fit him somehow into my arms and pull his head to rest under my cheek. He is much bigger than I am, he is a man... and it is I who ends up huddling pathetically into his covered side, my head lying on his chest and trying to warm his cooling skin with my own burning one.

"Ngh..." I manage and then let out a pained "_Charles_"

It's silent-almost completely-except for my wheezing and crying. It's late, the moon is watching us and in the distance a series of horrifying thundering howls cut through the night, grating through the distance and rumbling through the air. The mournful brutal tenor of Jacob Black loosing both sides of his soul is followed by an interlude of Alaska's timber wolves howling woefully in the distance.

It feels like they are running towards us-the wolves. Their feet thudding over the ground angrily, stuttering and picking up pace with undying conviction...

"Huh?" I breathe when a soft breath billows over my face and moves my hair into my eyes, the hair getting caught in my mouth.

"Charles?" Edward murmurs, snapping out of his trauma to possibly deal with reality.

It happens so fast, that I could only watch almost outside of my body as I flew over the expanse of Carlisle's office and crashed heavily into the wall with a sick thump. My eyes shut immediately as light bulbs of pain burned brightly in my head before singeing out immediately.

"Argh...!" that was Charles, I thought through the dimming quality of senses my mind was producing. That was Charles, even if his voice sounded to low, husky masculine baritone reverberating through the room as he groaned and roared.

I pried my eyes open slightly, almost afraid I had fallen asleep on his chest and wandered of into a dream, but there he was. On the table, thrashing and gripping his body in his arms violently, his face contorted in pain and growling and flinging his body over the shaking bed. He fell of but continued to thrash on the floor, the sound of his heart thudding wet, desperately and with exponential force in his chest. Each beat loud and painful in the air.

"Aaaaaaaargh!" he roared, wringing himself over the floor, his limbs knocking various things with a supernatural clumsy strength. "My chest... my heart...!"

"Charles" Carlisle appeared at the door, standing comically like a child that had caught Santa Clause climbing down the chimney.

"His heart... aches...?" Edward said confused, hovering around Charles. "Leah... definitely has a concussion"  
>"Wolves don't get concussions" I growled but Carlisle was by my side instantly, pushing my hair out of my face, his ice fire fingers grazing over my forehead and I flinched back in pain from his light touch.<p>

"Broken arm too" Carlisle stated his voice pitching high and I heard the many murmurs around the room-they were all in here.

"Let me...!" Rosalie said quickly "Tend to him, I'll take her..."  
>"What...!" I growled as she picked me of the floor easily "I am not leaving him!"<br>"You will only be in the next room sweetie" Esme said, her eyed wide as I passed her.

"Jasper..." I heard Edward instruct him over Charles now definite growling and snarling. "Charles wait... Rose, get her out now"  
>"No!" I squirmed awkwardly in Rosalie's arms in the middle of the doorway, twisting and shoving. Trying not to phase and then being as sadistically desperate as to consider phasing and hurting her to get to Charles...<p>

"You are bleeding, Leah!" Carlisle said and I realised what the scene was playing out before me.

Esme and Rosalie were leading me away from the office, Emmett and Jasper moving frantically around Edward and Carlisle; Edward and Carlisle who were both gripping a growling and snarling _definitely _alive Charles... the movement of all the vampires hiding him from me in brief intervals but I knew enough to know this scene.

"Charles?" I breathed before Rosalie decided to drop being diplomatic about her strength and haul me out, and in that second as we moved away from the office-I met his dark hungry eyes.

"Lee...?" he breathed in confused lagging comprehension, his eyes in that moment before I was nauseatingly away from him, going wide with recollection and fixing on me with venerated need.

Xx~xx~xX

"He wants me to be there..." I said again, touching the wall tentatively-the single barrier that kept him from me "I need to be there, Rose"  
>"Yeah, I know Leah" she whispered and attacked me again in a hug. "He is here... he didn't go anywhere"<br>"No, I would have died if he did" I said with realisation "I would have felt it immediately, it never... came"

He moaned again and swore. His voice had changed and only because he was my... he was my imprint, could I catch the softer decibels he had carried since a child. The thing about living forever and having this magical bond to someone... you decipher every cell of their being to the best of your capabilities. His voice was split between melody and low husky-Edward and Jacob once again. How irking... but maybe I was worrying over irrelevant factors-he was alive and didn't have anything to do with Isabella.

"I would never hurt her!" he bellowed and Carlisle immediately threw in a slew of understanding murmurs.

"Get out of my way" Charles snapped and Emmett growled at him. "Not this again...!"

I immediately made my way to the door; Esme, Alice and Rosalie hovering around it in a failed attempt to not seem like they were stopping me from getting out.

"The fuck!" I snarled.

"Leah... you need to let them talk him through it" Esme whispered "You know how the imprint sometimes impedes your logic..."  
>"He is...thirsty" Alice squeaked "Jasper felt it and Edward saw it. You saw it... he could harm you"<p>

"Venom..."Rose began and I scoffed, barging through them. They didn't even bother to try and stop me-even though one of them would have been enough in my human form.

"Move!" I growled at Jasper and he sighed.

"Wait a minute...!" Jasper tried.

"Leah?" Charles yelled from somewhere in the room.

"Charles...!" I gasped, trying to shove Jasper-and then feeling instantly lethargic to my action "Come on... he is okay. He is alive and I won't let the imprint..."  
>"Imprint?" Charles echoed and I groaned, trying to peek over Jasper's height at him.<p>

"Enough of this" Charles hissed and Emmett stumbled backward into my view and crashed into the monitor, breaking the thing that had been dictating a single green horizontal line.

"Leah" he said over Jasper's head, staring at me with anticipation.

"Charles" I murmured nervously and Jasper groaned, stating something about how he never got things right when it came to newborns thanks to Bella anyway...

He moved out of the way and left my imprint exposed before me.

He was tall-I couldn't tell if he had grown more or not but he wasn't as tall as his father. His face was smooth and hard, the whimsical slope of his jaw had vanished and been replaced with an archetypical masculine line. I stared at him because I could see every single part of him that I had stared at through his childhood on his face and as he stood before me in this baffling mixture of exuberant joy, painful love and anxious paranoia that he may be still and motionless yet again...

As he stood before me I realised that every obsessed perfected picture of Charles that I had in my mind had been coated in manhood. Not the animalistic magnetism of the Shape-shifting Quileute type and not the hypnotic saccharine shimmering beauty of the vampire type; but something split perfectly and joined solidly in between.

He shifted nervously from foot to foot, swallowed once and clutched the bedding tighter over his midriff. I was aware that they were all staring at us, I was aware that a single tear had dropped enthusiastically over my cheek and when he reached his finger to that cheek and wiped the tear away-I attacked him in a fierce hug.

Still trying to fit him in my arms and then conforming to his obvious dominance in the situation, and letting him scoop me up.

"Lee..." he breathed into my hair and I laughed manically in his. "How long was I unconscious... what happened?"  
>"What..." the crazy things grief does to you but when interwoven with joy, it's chaos..., the context of the situation hit me full on and there was no escaping it "What happened let me tell you what happened!"<p>

"Huh?" he spluttered and I untangled my self from him aggressively.

"You little idiot...!" I yelled, whacking him on his back as he danced away from me, muttering that I had gone crazy. "How the hell on God's green Earth do you attempt to have sexual relations with a vampire...!"

"I...well..." he moved behind Emmett who jumped easily out of the way laughing.

"And I quote..."Emmett laughed "_Move out of the way, Emmett!"_

"Bella did it and she came out fine!" Charles countered, trying to hide behind a bewildered Carlisle who simple zapped to Esme's side.

"You stupid idiot!"I roared, fisting my hands in my air in disbelief. "She came out pregnant and almost died!"  
>"Well, I can be neither stupid nor idiot at the same time!" he snarled "And look who is calling the kettle black, I am a dude!"<p>

"Well..." I spluttered "You almost died, regardless... _dude!_"

"He actually _already_ died..." Edward breathed.

"Stay the fuck out of this!" I hissed.

"I think I will go and find Jacob" Edward sighed wearily "Emmett... Jasper?"

"I will make sure Charles doesn't die again..." Carlisle sighed. "Bring Jacob home, please"  
>"How utterly reckless could you be!" I yelled "Going to Tanya <em>alone<em>..."

"I am not a child Leah!" he shouted over Carlisle insisting Esme not intercede and allow us to "Let it out of our system" and moving them away.

"You behave like one!" I roared. "Do you know what your '_moment of maturity'_ has led to... hmm?"

"Yeah" he growled, swaggering over to me, clutching the sheet tightly and his eyes flashing "It led to you turning into a _grey_ _wolf_"

Xx~xx~xX

"They have been gone long" Charles murmured, casting me a coy look before returning his gaze to the television. He was sandwiched between Esme and Rosalie, allowing them to fuss over him in waning patience.

I would have loved to apologise for the fight straight after he had awoken... I knew if he were younger I may have done just that. But I felt pride and my own once disciplined arrogance welling inside of me at his petulance. Grey Wolf or not... he was wrong.

I would take some time of to figure out the _exact_ words to put his _wrongness_ in... But he was wrong. Undeniably wrong, silly sulking teenage man-looking imprint... just wrong.

"Stop scowling..." Alice sighs, cracking cashews open and placing the nuts in a separate bowl to the shells "It reminds me of how you were back then, when Bella was a pregnant human and you were trying to personify the word Bitc..."  
>"Don't you have some future to look at?" I snapped and she sighed theatrically.<p>

"It's warped because of Jacob" she breathed. "I am sure..."

"Not me?" I asked. "Do you need me to 'step aside' for a minute?"  
>"I mean... it's easier for me to look at Emmett or Jasper's future than everyone else because they aren't so involved in you shifter's happenings" she explained "And they are currently in the midst of Jacob's future"<br>"I should go to them" I breathed. I wanted to go, the image of Jacob's face breaking from man to wolf with an emotion too great for either was burning my eyelids but I couldn't deny the fear in me, the fear born of the imprint that I would return and he would be still on the bed again.

He needed me and I needed him-and unfortunately some of my stupid pride had rubbed of on him so we would be in this 'not-going-to-acknowledge-you' dance for a little bit longer.

"Here you go Charles" Alice said softly, placing the large ball of cashews in front of Charles.

"I wanted some" I whined.

"Go share with Charles" Alice muttered "I only do domestic work for my nephew"  
>Rosalie scoffed abruptly at that.<br>"No" he stated and shoved a fistful in his mouth glaring at me.

"Do you realise you had died?" Carlisle said shaking his head in disbelief "Do you realise how much of a miracle this is; you aren't a vampire at all, although the logic of everything should point to you being that and there is no venom in your system. You can't honestly be upset Leah saved you?"

"I am upset she is a grey secretive wolf" he mumbled through the cashews.

"You are upset she is grey...?" Rose asked. "Or secretive... or a wolf?"  
>"Or all three!" Alice chirped clapping her hands and receiving a concerned look from Carlisle.<p>

"Secretive!" Charles groaned, letting his head fall back onto the back of the couch heavily and closing his eyes. "Secretive... that's what I meant, _gees_"

"If it helps" I sighed "I had valid reasons"  
>"Don't you always" he grumbled.<p>

"Uh... oh, oh..." Alice sang, waving her hand in the air and signalling for a paper and pen-her eyes gazing far away.

Carlisle disappeared for a second and returned with a pad and pencil. She began to draw on the pad and dictate the art she was performing without looking down once.

"Jane..." she breathed and Rosalie growled "I see her, she is coming... they are coming... they know he wasn't in school... they found out!"  
>"They found out what?" Carlisle asked quickly.<p>

"That Charles is dead" Alice breathed her eyes regaining focus. "They found out, they are on their way..."  
>"Who is in the guard with her?" Carlisle asked, spinning the pad to see her drawing. "Did you see..."<br>"No, I can't see who else..." Alice sighed "The decision was carried by her" 

She had drawn the image of an eternally young Jane, wide doe like eyes retaining a sadistic too mature glint and smile quirked in lazy mischief. She stood in the forefront of a wall of roughly sketched trees with shadows of cloaked men hidden in them.

"Jane..." I whispered looking at a confused Charles on the couch. "They better bring Jacob back quickly..."  
>"It wont be enough" Alice moaned.<p>

"We will make it enough" Rose deadpanned, her face violent. "They kept us living at the edge with their single hope he would die, what do you think they will do when they see him like this"  
>"See me like what?" Charles asked in a small voice.<p>

"So obviously _not _human" Alice explained.

Xx~xx~xX

**Author's note:**

**Oh, the many ways one can manipulate the genetics that is vampirism.**

**Thank you all so much for reviewing your thoughts, suggestions! Your awesomeness is legendary! Yes, Tanya is an eternally immature vampire-she is bound to make mistakes when her probably wiser sister is gone from her. Sigh... **

**Till next time, and as always thoughts and suggestion, criticism is welcome!**

**Tj **

Xx~xx~xX


	18. Dancing with Wolves

The snow was spotted in red crystal stains. Giant paw marks turned into distorted foot prints before the trail turns back to wolf trudges. The dry frozen straw-like grass blades are tipped with crimson and I stop abruptly.

We all freeze instinctually-an instinct born out of having a conscious past our vampirism-and stop breathing. All we had to do was follow the forest carnage; uprooted trees, claw marks and snagged chunks of russet fur. His scent was everywhere and I listened for his thoughts but was met with a soft silence. We move easily over the snow, around the grooves and giant wood chips.

A lump of something is half buried in the snow. Jasper looks to me indicatively; I was best suited to handle blood between us three. I rush a few feet ahead of them and pause over the medium mass of dark fur and with two fingers I pick up the animal grudgingly. It's a wolf-a real timbre wolf and only the front half of it is present. They quickly reach me after I nod that the area is clear of any blood temptation and look around**.** We look around horrified at the clearing messed with halves of timbre wolves and blood splatters...

"I hear something" I hiss looking around frantically "His thoughts... his... I think. They have to be his..."  
>"Edward?" Emmett murmurs cocking an eyebrow up "You aren't making sense"<br>"His thoughts are disjointed, muddled..." I say desperately, moving ahead "He is further up..."

We move humanly slow over the chaos, trying not to take in the guts and fur chunks littering our path. He is huddled in the snow, naked and shaking. Not from the cold really, not from phasing either... just shaking... in trauma possibly.

"Jacob?" I whisper but he can't hear me. His mind is far away from me, his thoughts layered in a thick blanket I recognise as being in a coma. I pick him up carefully and he whimpers at the movement-my skin is no different from the snow he is huddled in.

"Is he..."  
>"He isn't injured anywhere physically" I murmur. "Let's just get him home..." <p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**CHARLES EDWARD BLACK**

**DANCING WITH WOLVES**

"Is he okay?" Leah repeats attempting to follow Edward and Carlisle up the stairs but they move too fast and she is left trudging after them.

"Is he okay?" I ask Esme and she sighs, squeezing my side gently with a cold loving arm.

"I didn't smell any human blood" she breathed "Edward said he had no visible injures"

"He is physically fine" Leah breathed, moving sluggishly from the stairway "No injures, a... a... twig in his head but Carlisle says he can get it out and count on Jake's regeneration to kick in to ward of any damage... physically"  
>"What..." I pause-what happened was that I had died, and I wasn't stupid or ignorant enough to not know that my father had turned me into the centre of his humanity to keep from falling apart.<p>

"Control" Leah breathed, replacing Esme on my side-who murmured that she was going to prepare lunch.

"What happened was _control_?" I ask her blinking rapidly.

"Yeah... what's wrong with your eyes?"

"I see funny"

"You see fine" she sighed. "We'll get Carlisle to check on that once he is done with Jake"  
>"About control..."<p>

"Let's go outside for a bit, huh?" she sighed, grabbing my hand with her hotter one and leading me through to the front of the house.

Xx~xx~xX

The transition from human to vampire was death... not in the sense that the human had to be _dying_ but in the sense that the heart had to _stop beating_. When the body was at a standstill, the venom could blend into the DNA-and in normal vampire turning cases; the venom didn't just blend, it took over the DNA.

As Carlisle had explained what he understood to me; I was no normal human. The venom couldn't take over my DNA because something was already lodged in there too. My Quileute wolf side. So it blended in-the stagnant state of my momentarily dead body allowing that and the fact that my cells were inactive for that moment, meaning the Quileute wolf gene didn't react to the venom and submitted enough to let the vampire gene join to my humanity.

She looks different.

She looks different but I know nothing about her has changed. I have changed... when I woke up, I could feel each heart beat against my chest-and it had felt like a hammer whacking away at my chest cavity. It had felt like I was dying all over, like fire was consuming me and my heart would rip out of my chest and still continue thrashing when it was on the ground.

The pain of it was unbearable but that had only lasted a minute when the smell of Leah's blood had hit me hard. It's different listening to the vampires talk about blood and what it does to them and then living it for a second. I am more than certain I wouldn't have harmed her-I wouldn't have harmed her, I couldn't. She had just smelt... so...

"Stop staring bug brain" she hissed, her eyes flashing "Eyesight problem...?"  
>"Uh..." I look over to the forest and then close my eyes. I wish I could close my ears too.<p>

I can hear each strong elegant thud...

"Just..." she sighed "No fast movements... until Carlisle talks you through this"  
>"Sure" I murmur, trying to concentrate on the far away sounds of birds. I hadn't realised that birds didn't come near the Cullen Manor...<p>

"Control" Leah breathed and I felt the air move-she must have spun around. "Well... that's what being a supernatural being is all about. Control-it's what separates us from monsters, I guess"  
>"I thought humanity is what separated us from monsters" I say-peeking one eye open and snapping it shut when the harshness of the sunny day didn't abate.<p>

"Well, to get to that humanity you need control right?" Leah says "I can't talk to you like this-open your eyes Charles, you aren't a newborn..."

She goes rigid and when I open my eyes slowly, forcing them to take in the harsh vigorous colours of the outside and the irritating way the air moved over them-she is staring at me in fear.

"You aren't..." she stuttered.

"A new born?" I finish of confused and then it hit me "No!"

"I mean... no red eyes" she laughed "And you definitely have blood in you"

She tried to pinch my cheek teasingly but the skin there didn't wield and then she did it harder and I flinched. Her touch was hot-as I had always known it to be and I didn't think it had changed in anyway-once again, it was I that had changed. Every sense felt... too sensitive. Her touch-hot and soft-left my cheek not only stinging from her second aggressive pinch but burning with electricity.

"See" she laughed nervously, the apprehension leaving her eyes a little "Your going red..."  
>"Uhm" I touched the cheek experimentally.<p>

"Anyway, you have side tracked me, where was I-oh, for heavens sake, I am not talking to Ray Charles!" she hissed and I opened my eyes wider, the soft umber of her eyes startling me when I met her eyes. I shut them again.

"Charles?" she sighed impatiently "I know this is..."  
>"No, I am certain you don't know" I said sulkily, refusing to open my eyes and listening to her huffing and soft thudding heart.<p>

"Look, sorry about not telling you I phased too!" she shouted and I peeked at her with one eye-she was flinging her hands in the air violently, something that used to intimidate me but in my height now looked... cute.

"I kind of figured" I murmured, squinting a little at her. "I just... no one said girls could phase"

"No one said that to me either" she whispered, dropping her hands wearily and scowling at the ground. "I was trying to explain something to you, something I figured out just this moment...?" 

"Control" I breathed.

"Right..." she said coolly and then gazed through the trees as though looking for something far away, a shadow covering her eyes "Control. We need control to remember who we were in this life. It's like with your vampire family. They need to know to control their bloodlust otherwise they would be any other monster"  
>"And it's like that with Quileutes" she whispered grimly "We need to control our emotions... to keep them separate or deal with them immediately. Our emotions and like with the vampires, bloodlust; these things need controlling to keep the humanity there. We can't be running amuck unable to remain either man or wolf... that would be a <em>deformity<em>"  
>"Is that what he did?" I asked her heavily "He..."<br>"I never really understood why a wolf that could turn into neither man nor wolf fully was a deformity" she sighed and then looked at me, disarmed me with her sadness "But after Jake told you about Taha Aki and the spirit warriors... it makes sense now, seeing him like this"  
>"But he is solid" I breathed "He is unconscious but he is a man!"<p>

"You didn't see him running of" she said intensely "You didn't see the haze-like the one over a hot road-moving over him. His head was unclear as either wolf or man... the tracks were..."  
>"He is fine!" I shouted and jumped back when my voice came out loud-booming and reverberating-causing Leah to cover her ears in pain.<p>

"I am sorry..." I gulped, fearing my own emotions now with that little discover of what it meant to be wolf and vampire "I am sorry, but he is fine. He is asleep up there"  
>"That's him after they found him" she whispered "There has never been a wolf in a coma-we have regenerative cells, Charles. There are just certain things we can't fall victim too. It's unnatural to us"<br>"He is fine, Leah" I said again-lost in childish vehemence.

"Charles, I don't know..." she whispered, looking up to the face of the house.

"They asked you to tell me this, didn't they" I said softly, but my voice was riddled in pitches that still made my tone sound smooth. "Edward... he figured this out and Carlisle... they asked you to tell me this, didn't they?"  
>"He is in a coma" she stated controlling her face and I realised why she looked different besides the way my superior eyesight had highlighted her beauty past what I had thought exquisite in my humanness to something dangerously alluring and magnetic. She had been anxious, that was what the shadow over her features had meant, that was why Esme had been reluctant to let me stand on my own two feet...<p>

"I know..." I said and I felt my face grimace, blinking away the tears rapidly "He is going to wake up"  
>"When we phase" she said softly, taking my hand in he smaller one and staring at it with a slight frown "There is a moment, right between being a wolf and a human were... we can feel the world around us. Were it's like we aren't human or wolf. I suppose in a way we are two beings..."<br>She sighed and squeezed my hand and asked me softly "We are two beings right?"

I nodded in understanding, not trusting my voice or the falling barrier I had put up to not cry.

"We are two beings but that singular moment between wolf and man... it's like we are _three_ beings. It's like we are watching the human version of our soul and the wolf version in separate states while we embody this third version that is neither of the two. Not a combination-just... something else"

"A spirit" I managed and she sighed.

"But it isn't meant to last, you see" she said "It's for a moment and we hurry over it because it is so unnatural, Charles. It's an abnormality, an unstable structure"

"And Jake..." she continued "He was hobbling around in that place for an hour and more, neither wolf, neither man but stuck in the two and then this third one too..."

"He is fine" I stated.

"I have always taught you..." she said softly "I always tell you to either tackle things in reality or leave them be if you can't fix them"  
>"He is fine" I repeated numbly.<p>

"No, he isn't Charles" she said and the tears fell from my eyes so suddenly, I was shocked to feel them trail along my face "He isn't fine. This is the worst he has ever been and there are no regenerative cells to help him with what has happened because it happened in the..."  
>"Don't say spirit world!" I cried "There is no such fucking thing!"<p>

She paused and looked at me patiently as I blubbered, never letting my hand go. It was stupid to deny the existence of what she had said when I had lost my virginity to a vampire, died, and reawakened with five _intense_ senses and an obsession with her heart beat. But sometimes...

All you have is the safety of your intentional ignorance-and oblivion is something only children have the privilege of and my insisting on it showed how I wasn't ready for the maturity that came with this life-this more than human life. Jacob had always seemed indestructible in his height and build. Even when he had cried, sobbed in front of me... even when he had tried to be a full on alcoholic for a good portion of my life, even when he was absent and would wander into the house naked and with scratches all over him...

Even when I had thought he was at his lowest, I hadn't stop thinking he was still invincible.

"Ngh" I groaned and I hadn't realised I had fallen to the ground, her toned arms going around me and trying to squeeze me securely to her but I couldn't fit there anymore. "He is..."  
>"We'll take care of him as best as we know how" she whispered in my ear "Wont we?"<br>"Like always" I breathed.

"Like always"

Xx~xx~xX

He looks like he is asleep. Like if I took two pots and banged them real hard by his ears, he would wake up swearing and cursing at me. His face is relaxed, his eyes still beneath the soft eyelids and lips slightly parted letting in a steady breath in intervals. I hadn't realised how at peace he seemed in stillness. There is no hard edge in his eyes that makes him look like an off duty soldier returned from a gruesome war because his eyes are hidden. There is no severe twist of his lips-whether smiling or frowning. His face is just... relaxed.

And it makes him look no more than two years older than me in this new appearance I have. It makes it seem like behind the slight roughness of his jaw, the hard planes of his face... it makes it seem like there is a young boy there. Not a child, just... a kid. Like me...

"It's my fault" I whisper, holding my father's hand-it's still bigger than my own and Leah growls but its Edward who answers.

"Charles..." he says slowly "It might as well be my fault too. It might as well be Carlisle's fault or the vampire that turned him... or Taha Aki..."  
>"It's a series of faults that boil down to me dying" I hissed.<br>"Because you planned on dying?" Leah scoffed and Alice murmured something about 'tough love' but Leah ignored her. "You think this scenario is something we hadn't thought about ever happening to Jake since Renesme left...?"

"Charles... this isn't your fault" Edward sighed, standing beside me by Jacob's bed.

"You can't hear a single thought?" I asked looking up at him hopefully and he frowned.

"No... It's difficult to explain" he whispered "It's like... not veiled but... murky. Like trying to see at the bottom of a mud filled pond"

"Oh" was all I could manage. "Maybe if... mum came and he heard her?"

"I think its best Renesme stays out of this" Leah all but growled.

"She is his..." I want to snap at her but I remember the signed divorce papers. She isn't his wife anymore... but wife seemed to small a title for the hold my mother had on Jacob's life.

"I don't mean it to be cruel" Leah said "But she was the only one outside of us who was alerted to your...momentary passing and thus the only explanation to the Volturi knowing"

"You got her voice mail" I tried but there was no conviction in my tone to defend her, my mother...Renesme.

"Maybe she opened it and then..." Leah said violence flashing over her features before she turned around and glared out the window, unable to smooth the anger away.

"It would go against what she was trying to do, Leah" Edward said stonily, glaring at the back of Leah's head-angered by her insinuation. "She wanted to keep Charles and Jacob away from it"  
>"...From it?" I asked.<p>

"The trouble she has put herself in with Joham and the Volturi... whatever it is" Edward said quickly-I realised he was speaking vampire fast and it felt weird understanding the fluid string of his melodious voice. Like whiplash...

"I guess any South America plans have been foiled" Leah snorted violently, wheeling around and Edward flinched. "I need a run..."

"You are going into the woods alone?" I asked bewildered and instantly panicking.

"Giant secretive grey wolf, remember" she said absently, already heading out the room. I followed her quickly, casting one last pained look at Jacob's still form on the bed.

"Leah, wait...!" I called but she was muttering things to herself, still moving through the house and out the door.

"Leah...!" I pressed following her into the trees. "Hey, what are you doing?!"

"Seth should be in Alaska by now" she said untying the string of her sweat pants and then pausing her pushing them down. "Uh, this is the part were you give me privacy"  
>"Uh..." I turned around and tried not to let my hearing zone in on the sound of her taking her clothes of. "Uhm, I haven't seen a wolf... well, not from with Tanya but that... I was dying and..."<br>I heard a soft sound through the air, like a knife cutting through it and then a hot billow of air passed intentionally on my back.

"Are you..." I turned around slowly feeling a large presence behind me.

A wolf about the same height as I was stood inches from me; soft grey fur shimmering in the cool light passing through the canopy of trees, limbs toned and elegantly long in its animal form and something about the face, I realised was distinctly Leah and in that distinction _beautiful _to me.

"Lee...?" I murmured my hand reaching for her muzzle. She nodded her head down once and let me touch the tip of her nose. "This... Leah?"

She snorted, air too hot blowing around me.

"Oh, man..." I laughed nervously "Doggy breath!"

She shook her head lightly and rolled her large eyes. Eyes that were too wide and shaped distinctly-like her beauties distinction on the wolf-like Leah. Giant brownish globes with amber flecks-her eyes blown out and every beauty highlighted in her wolf form. I hadn't noticed the amber flecks before... maybe they were only carried as a wolf.

I reached my hand over her muzzle and scratched lightly. She stepped back once, looked to the forest and then back at me.

"What is it, Lassie?" I said and I didn't need to speak 'wolf' to know the look she gave me meant 'you just couldn't resist, could you, Charles?'

She dropped to one foreleg as though bowing and nudged my stomach with her nose. She wanted me to hop on.

"I don't know if it's gentlemanly to ride..." I paused, my eyes widening and heat crawling angrily up my neck "I mean, not ride _you_... I mean I'll be on top... from behind..."

She rolled her eyes and growled softly. It was a low rumbling sound that was mildly threatening.

"Right... over thinking..." I stammered, walking slowly to her side and reaching up to her fur. "Not the position part... argh, never mind"  
>I fisted my hands full of the thicker longer fur by her shoulders gently and then she shrugged them, indicating I be less of a wuss about it. I grabbed on and swung my self over, almost falling over to the other side with my less than manageable control of my new strength and huffed when I was sitting awkwardly but securely in the dip of her back.<p>

"This is just wrong on so many..." I started but she began moving, a brief canter that quickly became a blurring sprint, weaving and jumping through the forest-my concern on pulling out her fur and leaving her with a bold patch when she turned human again lost. I held on for dear life, trees seemed to appear in front of us and then disappear... my breath coming out fast as though I was running with her.

If I had ever thought vampires were fast...

Leah quickly changed that notion.

Xx~xx~xX

By the time she had slowed down, I had scratches and chunks of her fur sticking to my sweaty hands. Having inhuman eyesight didn't help one bit with the roller coaster ride that was her running. Everything seemed to zoom and hit me when it was metres away, the sound of the air terrifying me like thunder and the many smells overlapping fighting for recognition in my cluttered mind. That's what having super powered senses was like in a human mind-clutter, ants crawling over each other and distracting. The super powered instincts of both shape-shifters and vampires were natural to them-it was all reflex reaction with no need to have to prep themselves for it.

But this felt similar to a scenario were a mouse would be suddenly be equipped with the claws and fangs of a cat. I couldn't concentrate on one thing when every other thing was fighting for dominance. Carlisle had told me I needed to find the 'harmony line' and not let them consume me...

"You don't want to end up sitting around for hours on end staring at a marble because of the way it reflects and refracts light" he had sighed and Edward had blurted he had only done that for an hour before mastering his eyesight.

She came to a standstill in a rocky clearing. I wobbled of her, stumbling awkwardly to the side and covering my ears till my hearing stopped picking up things too far away and refused to open my eyes.

"Who else is here?" I asked loudly-the way one speaks when wearing headphones playing loud music-trying to talk over the noise when it is internal. I could smell something familiar-familiar to the way Leah smelled but there was a distinction...

I realised there was a distinction to every ones scent. Vampires smelt the same... but there was a distinction once you analysed each individual smell-although I was yet to bother doing that with the vampires; their smell was too intricate, I would be dissecting for a good portion of the day with my slow human mind. I had noticed it with Leah and Jacob only really.

"Kid?" said a male voice. "Is that..."  
>"Yep" that was Seth. "Dude, talk about bad hair day! Why do you have your eyes closed, Charles?"<br>"Uh..." I peered my eyes open slowly, ignoring Leah's obvious wolf chuckling behind me and dropped my hands. "Hello, Uncle Embry"  
>"Uncle...?"Embry guffawed, whacking the side of Seth's arm hard "I should be calling <em>you <em>Uncle!"  
>"Now why is he riding you, Leah?" Seth asked and a giant wolf behind the two shirtless Quileutes snorted, then rolled on the ground in obvious glee-sending dust around it.<p>

"Seriously, Bradley you are thirty something... grow up" Seth scoffed but Embry had a ghost of a smile on his face.

"That's..." I pointed behind them at the still snorting wolf "Bradley?"  
>"Yep" Embry smiled "Now, I am really curious... because by all accounts..."<p>

He waved a hand at me and lifted his eyebrow impressed "You should be running on four legs, Charles?"  
>"It... Uhm" I stammered looking over to Seth who smiled in encouragement "It still hurts... I am still producing... venom"<p>

"I thought you said he had no venom in him?" Embry asked Seth.

"Tanya's venom" I explained. "Uhm, I produce trace amounts of my own"  
>"So... uh, no offence... how are you alive again?" this was Quil-who I realised looked definitely older and may have come the same way I had. Wolf Express.<p>

Leah huffed from behind me and they all made a show of turning around to stare at the east.

"That means you too, Kid" Embry chuckled winking at me and I blushed, turning with them but opting to stare at Bradley's wagging tail.

"Right" Leah breathed and everyone just resumed their previous positions like giant wolves changing into Sports Illustrated models in tracksuit pants and a tank top was as common as flying pigs.

"How is he...?" Quil asked immediately taking a step forward, everyone arching around Leah and I-Bradley was still in wolf form and there was another wolf just on the outskirts I realised. They wouldn't all phase when they were in vampire territory... even now, they trusted vampires with grudging willingness.

"Still in a coma" Leah said, folding her arms over her chest and drawing circles in the snow with her toe-the snow there melting slightly. "No brain activity-it got worse"  
>"And they can't do anything" Quil hissed. "Those..."<p>

"No they can't, Quil" Embry answered "This has no bearing on vampires. This is all Quileute and it's never happened before"  
>"How do you know..." I breathed looking at Embry in confusion and he tapped the side of his head lightly, his expression still serious.<p>

"Wolves are connected telepathically, remember" Leah murmured absently, an odd exchange passing between her and Embry.

"I thought you meant they could speak..." I trailed off and then realised what Edward meant once when he said Leah didn't want to understand Jake running of from me-but it was hard when Jake couldn't lie to her.

I just thought he meant Dad wasn't a good liar...

"What are we going to do?" Quil asked and they all looked to Leah-like she was in charge of the whole situation.

"Embry says Sam's son has shot up..."Leah said, looking down at the ground grimly.

"And Paul's son too" Quil said. "I hate not knowing things now that I have _settled_"  
>"Settled?" I asked and they all ignored me.<p>

"You guys have to head back" Leah breathed "If those boys are phasing, then there is vampire activity there-hidden or otherwise..."

"There is vampire activity here too!" Embry growled "And Jake is in a comma, his son is about to be targeted by those red eyed leeches..."

"We got it covered" Leah said sternly "I can't..."  
>She looked at me briefly, her eyes wide and terrified and I gulped hard.<p>

"We can't leave the Tribe unprotected" she said softly "The Volturi doesn't exactly respect small supernatural minority groups... and if they wanted to attack... us. If they wanted to attack, Alice wouldn't be able to see them. She would only see them coming here... do you understand me?"  
>"Wow..."Quil breathed looking at me "You are... really selfless with... the whole imp-"<p>

"Moving along" Seth said quickly "Collin and Bradley are going to do patrol here while we go and see Jake"  
>"Right that works..." Leah sighed "You ready for a run back?"<br>"Uhm... yeah, running on..." I stammered and Embry laughed morosely, slapping Leah hard on the back but she didn't topple over.

"Tall as a tree, lean as one too... almost as pretty as a sparkling vampire and rugged like a wolf!" he laughed "_And he stammers too boot!_"

"You sure know how to pick them, Clearwater" Quil added following Embry through the trees. "Or is Jake and her Nesstiness don't know how to make them?"  
>"Leave him alone..." Leah hissed, untying the draw string of her pants and then pausing and cocking an eyebrow at me when I failed to notice everyone else pointedly walking away in different directions and remained staring at her. "Dude, seriously...?"<p>

"Uhm" I turned around and looked at the sky-trying to drown out Embry's laughing in the distance that turned into deep huffing sounds-wolf laughter, I realised-after a series of shimmers erupted in the air.  
>She breathed once on my back, like before and I turned around silently-ignoring that from the neck up I was probably red. Getting up was easier the second time around but the run back was worse.<p>

They were very competitive; growls and hard chortling erupting through the woods-even though there was a sad edge to it, they couldn't escape their natural born kindliness. They weaved in front of each other and when I momentarily saw Quil on what I could only assume to be Embry's back, he was swearing and had his eyes shut. Leah zoomed at the front easily in the end, throwing their childishness behind and they formed an arrow, thumping over the ground to the Cullen Manor-to their comatose Leader.

Xx~xx~xX

Most of them being here made me realise how much of Leah and Jacob's life I didn't know about-it made me realise that there was a time they had known a different sort of happiness and that that happiness was carefree and bountiful and was irretrievable. I would never see it coming from them towards me because all we had were the hard years, the heartbroken Jacob and the carefully guarded Leah.

"... I mean, there was that one time when Paul and I had gotten into it" Quil murmured, staring at his once best friend with wide unbelieving eyes "You know, before Claire and... I had been out for like hours but I mean... you can't really stay knocked out as a wolf"  
>"No" Seth agreed nodding his head slightly. I remembered Claire at a bonfire once, she had been a moody teenager and I had been keen on playing with mud at the time... I tried to piece in all their little snippets of history and their past together with my own memories and I realised how confusing it all was. Even now, knowing about wolves...<p>

How had Claire and Quil ended up together? Hadn't they always been together... and wolves could stop phasing then why hadn't Seth done that? He wouldn't have had to leave that girl he had loved so much, was it Bethany or...? Leah... Leah... knowing she had a past before me seemed... outrageous and almost... _hurtful..._ hurtful that I didn't know. That I had never really asked or wondered... just assumed I had been the beginning and the end.

"Nah, he is going to be fine" Quil said. "He walked through that other..."

They all went silent and I had a feeling they wanted to look at me. I didn't need to be Edward to know they were thinking of how he had gotten through Renesme.

"It took years..."Quil continued, ignoring the tension in the room but maybe it was his tactlessness "But he got through, didn't he?"

"He'll get through" Quil finished nodding his head and touching my father's left shoulder.

"You need to have seen it in Leah's mind, Quil" Embry murmured and Quil scoffed.

"Do not do that, Em!" he hissed, his eyes flashing-the lingering wolf visible in his eyes "Do not give up just because this has never happened before or whatever!"

His outburst made me want to shout too. It made me realise I was on Quil's side and that I had been maybe a little cowardly about the whole thing; it made me realise that I was standing in this room taller than Quil and Embry by maybe a hair. That I wasn't as muscled as Embry and Seth but in my leanness I was still a formidable sight to some-but here I was attempting to shrink away behind Leah.

I realised I was hiding behind Leah because in this room full of wolves, I was the part vampire-I was the part Renesme and I had died and I was the reason...

"Charles?" Edward called through the door. "It's time for your lessons"

"I have to go" I breathed, backing away but only Leah looked at me and smiled softly in understanding.

Xx~xx~xX

"You have it all wrong, you know" Edward murmured, walking quickly over the snow to the back of the house. "They love you"  
>"You weren't in there" I snapped.<p>

"I am a functioning telepath" he laughed softly. "And I know the tension wolves seem to manufacture without even trying"

"Hmm" I grumbled, folding my hands petulantly over my chest and staring at the back of his head when he came to a standstill.

"They aren't angry at you" he sighed "They... well, you are dead on about Renesme but mostly they react well and above to fear with belligerent rage. But that's were Leah as acting leader will have her work cut out. I suspect she is going to have a hard time convincing Seth to return to La Push..."  
>"I thought Embry would be the one to go" I murmured.<p>

"Embry and Jake..." Edward said turning around slowly and frowning a little. "Jake is all that Embry has. His mother..."  
>"I know the story" I grumbled, not wanting to feel any level of understanding for Embry at the moment and ignoring the natural guilt that came with that decision. Embry... who seemed to get on too well with Leah with his hugging and punching and laughing... and <em>teasing me.<em>

"We do need wolves" Edward breathed "But if Sam's son has shot up at the tender age of thirteen... it means _something_ about Forks. We can only hope that Jane's visit is short and she returns to Volterra calmly with news of your... survival. Then we can tackle everything else after that"  
>"You want to go to La Push" I guessed and he laughed sadly.<p>

"I am not allowed in La Push..." he stated. "We want to return quietly to Forks. To help the Quileute... if anything does... pop up. This is great, we have blindsided them; there is no need to see any vampires physically if the wolf gene has started to emerge. It's the Quileute natural defence against us-well, _vampires_"

"You would do that?" I asked dumbly and he rolled his eyes.

"Under all the slurring of _leech, bloodsuckers _and _walking disco balls_" he laughed dryly "And _dog, pup _and_ runt_... We are comrades till the end. They have done more for us than we could ever repay them... even if in the end... well, regardless. We owe them and are honoured to be in their debt"

"Disco Ball, huh" I murmured, watching as he indifferently moved past a sunny patch, his skin glinting in the air and refracting thousands of beams in a shimmering haze before he calmly waited at a shadowy part. "That... I hope I don't do that. That's just _weird_"  
>"Well, pass through the sun and we will find out" he laughed and I moved gingerly across the ground and through the warmth of the sun-my skin remaining a pale golden russet colour and stood next to a laughing Edward.<p>

"No, no dazzling manliness in you!" Edward chuckled and I laughed lightly with him.

It was strange noting how everyone's laugh had changed; like we didn't know how to handle a sleeping Jacob and conduct every day business-so we overacted. We laughed freely, but the sound never reached our eyes...

"The most important lesson will be your tactile senses" Edward stated, producing two wine glasses from _somewhere._"You don't want to end up crushing some poor _human _persons hand with a handshake..."

"It all comes down to control-the only way to keep the humanity" I murmured and Edward nodded.

"Leah has her wise moments" he breathed.

He placed them easily in his hands, his fingers going round them fluidly and somehow looking entirely supple in their marble like quality. He tossed the glasses casually in the air and in a blurring motion-even in my new eyesight that was apparently better than an unphased wolf-they blurred.

He paused then, one glass landing upright on his head and balancing easily and the other one landing on the top of his foot in similar equilibrium-the way one would balance a soccer ball and then tossed the glasses back in the air with a gentle flick of his foot and head and caught them in his hands again.

"Uh..." I chuckled. "I am not even going to try that test. Just fail me now..."  
>"No, I am showing you what you are too achieve by the end of that lesson" Edward sniggered "But I won't be teaching you this; Carlisle will. I have no patience..."<br>"You are dead on about the impatience" I grumbled, remembering our piano lessons before I turned into some swimwear model.

"Right" he rolled his eyes "We are going to learn about managing your fluctuating senses"

"I don't think it was so much that I was impatient with you with the piano lessons" he said derisively, cocking his head to one side "But that you let me know with every second that you hated _learning_. How does one hate learning... Renesme..."  
>"Renesme was a half vampire who had never swung on a jungle-jim in her life, difference... can you see it?" I cut him, already missing being around the carefree wolves and <em>not <em>learning.

"We haven't even started learning!" Edward laughed "You are really lazy"  
>"Yes, I am" I muttered.<p>

"And she did swing on a jungle-jim" he said dryly "And bent the thing. We had to buy the park a new one"

"Anyway..." Edward breathed "We are going to start with your sense of distance, and discerning the speed in which objects are moving... so you don't yell to Leah that you are about to die when a tree is really five metres away"  
>"That she-wolf sell out" I muttered and he tapped his head. "Is tapping ones head the universal sign of hearing voices in ones head or are you and Embry just <em>weird like that<em>"  
>"Move back..." he instructed, ignoring me and I sighed, but humoured him. "More... more, Charles, come on. Stop moving so slow"<br>"This isn't slow!" I yelled.

"Human is slow... _always_" he hissed, flicking his hand petulantly that I move further back. "Okay stop there"  
>"Now wha.." I began and then realised when I looked up he had moved a good few feet back that his face was difficult to distinguish. "Is this the lesson...?"<br>He rushed towards me so suddenly and all my senses wobbled, my eyesight zoning on him alone and he was moving too fast, he was going to crash into me... he was crashing into me...

"Argh!" I flung my hands forward and stumbled back, landing on my backside and trying to crawl out of the way on the ground, the dry grass crunching beneath my hands.

"You see what I mean?" Edward murmured lazily and I paused my frantic escape. "I only ran half the distance"

I looked up and for sure, he was in his original place, not directly in front of me as I was expecting. He shook his head in a mixture of disappointment, concern and badly hidden amusement.

"Get up..." he sighed "Only dogs move on four legs"

Xx~xx~xX

By the time Edward and I had finished my 'Lessons'... we were not talking directly to each other and I had learnt that Edward was in fact scary, when he wanted to be and his growl may not rumble like Emmett's but it sure had the same effect. I was... apparently, grabbing on to my humanness with frantic girly hands.

And after he had said that comment-I pointed out that my hands were larger than his.

"But mine are stronger..." he had laughed dryly and I flinched in fear.

Xx~xx~xX

"How did it..." Leah began and looked at my hair in confusion. "What's wrong with your hair"  
>"Edward decided to clip me over the head every time I gave up" I muttered "I think I have a concussion"<br>"Wolves don't..." Quil began, his mouth full of cinnamon bun and then he sighed. "Never mind..."  
>"Funny how he wants to discipline Charles when Renesme got away with murder" Embry said dryly and Quil muttered-I guessed in his new duller senses he thought he was being really quiet "Literally"<p>

"Maybe that's why, hmm" Esme sang, fleeting around the giant island in the kitchen, enjoying cooking and serving. "But he really has no patience for children"  
>"I am not a child" I grumbled and everyone laughed when the sound came out sulky in my deep voice and I smiled reluctantly.<p>

"I have no _patience_ for laziness" Edward breathed waltzing in the kitchen "And we do not have time to move Charles through his hyper senses slowly"

"I had a vision" Alice murmured walking in behind Edward with Emmett, Carlisle and Rosalie (her nose scrunched up) in tow. "They were trying hard to be... sneaky about it but even though I can't really see the wolves' future-they have stopped interrupting ours. My visions go around them now..."  
>"What did you see?" Esme asked.<p>

"We were in Forks" Alice stated seriously "But the vision is unclear... it zooms back to us remaining here and Jane arriving"  
>"The only explanation I had for this" Edward said "Was that we wanted to return to Forks anyway to help monitor the three young boys showing signs of phasing... safety precaution"<br>Embry murmured his understanding and Quil nodded for Edward to continue.

"But..." Alice continued "I realised what this might mean is that the Volturi have sent two guards"  
>"One to come to Alaska and check on the Charles situation..."Embry breathed-I was a <em>situation <em>now?

"And one to head to Forks" Leah finished. "Sneaky leeches..."

"You just can't trust vampires to be honest villains these days" Emmett muttered shaking his head and tutting "So what do we do?"

"If we head to Forks..."Leah murmured "Then... she would be forced to reroute to where we are. If we stay here we are spreading ourselves thin-with everything, we have to ensure both Jacob, Charles and the tribe are protected and being in Forks is the most logical thing to do"  
>"When did you get wise, Clearwater" Embry asked grinning a little.<p>

"When you lost your virginity and I realised my theory that the world would come to an end on the day was wrong and I shouldn't make assumptions" she grinned back and he huffed at her.

"Alice?" Edward asked and she closed her eyes and concentrated really hard.

"She will be delayed but will follow us, they won't anticipate this..."Alice murmured in her mystic tone "I... can't see the other guard that was originally sent to Forks-their business is definitely to do with the Quileute tribe and I think they may have been scouting the defence of La Push... we will have better if not equal defences if we head back"  
>"Then we head back" Emmett growled, flashing a gleefully violent smile-Embry growling in agreement with him.<p>

I understood now what it meant when they talked about how the wolves thrived on aggression and violence. It was in the air, their eyes flashed with it and I felt it to some degree. It was synonymous with how Emmett was about every challenge-he could fit well with the pack, better than I was...

Carlisle sighed wearily-muttering about bible verses and forgiveness on behalf of his violence ready brood, already rushing upstairs to prepare Jacob for the move-Esme in tow. The room erupted in talks about a particular 'Non-War' that had happened between the Volturi and everyone and that they needed to be taught a lesson in respect.

It would take a while for it to die down, for their natural instincts to fight to be on top of the food chain to abate and realise that a war always meant casualties. They would realise that some other teenage Quileute boy would be ripped from normality-maybe more than just one, maybe a few-and all the many histories that I didn't know about, would begin to replay themselves before my eyes.

**AUTHORS:**

**I must say, this is one of my most favourite chapters... **

**.**


	19. First Sight

**FIRST SIGHT**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**Edward Cullen**

_We cannot escape the past for it will catch us in the future._

Too many memories...

Never had a place held me like this. Never had one location thrilled and terrified me with such intensity and not because there was any physical presence here that could tangibly work on my senses in such a way... it was all in my mind-in my resilient memories. It was all in my... unbeating heart.

"Aren't you coming out of the car, Edward?" Esme asked and I gripped the steering wheel of Carlisle's Mercedes tighter. Keeping our humanity with us made us retain the human sense of _habit_. He always went for a black long Mercedes model with each three years and I always chose the silver Volvo...

Those stupid habits were costing me so much because I had now crafted my memories through to this long past reality. I had no choice but to return to my room-which had remained the same since... back then. I couldn't go to the cottage... that would be emotional and mental suicide...

"Edward?" Carlisle asked already going to panic mode-he had been panicking the whole journey in his mind; noting my silence and terse responses to Charles questions.

Charles who kept the string of questions coming; his own nerves working on him from reasons he kept hidden from me but that I could only assume to be being away from Leah. She had to tend to the unruly pack, she had to go to La Push immediately and talk things through with Sam. Charles questions turned sarcastic and derisive and his stance in shot gun petulant as he stared out the window with a frown; this made Carlisle and Esme in the back seat more apprehensive and I wished I could tell him he was only digging the overbearing love of Carlisle and Esme further up with his sulking.

But I was lost in my own world...

"Edward..."Esme murmured softly and I released the wheel carefully, it was bent slightly.

"Coming mother, dearest" I chuckled roughly; listening to Emmett's approaching Range Rover.

I got out carefully, ignoring Carlisle's string of questions that he wanted me to answer with my usual surreptitious head nod and closed the door with equal carefulness. Funny I had berated Charles on his lack of discipline and willingness to understand tactile senses and his other hyper awareness and now in my emotional instability, I was doomed to break something that should by all normal accounts-be impossible to break.

"It hasn't changed one bit" Jasper drawled staring at the house.

"I come regularly and do maintenance" Esme sighed, casting me an anxious glance with little subtlety.

"Same rooms?" Alice asked, holding two suitcases bigger than her small frame.

"Charles..." Esme began and I smiled at her.

"He can sleep in my room when he is here" I murmured "I am sure he has a long list of relatives who want to see him too"  
>"You should..."Carlisle began and I growled at him-everyone tensing around me, Jasper intervening immediately. Like hell I was going to go see Charlie-as far as he was concerned, I was the reason his daughter had turned into a cold distance beautiful thing who never visited and sent checks in the mail.<p>

"Welcome to sunny Forks" Charles muttered ignoring the exchange or not seeing it-it was difficult to tell with his new brooding outlook on all things. "Mixing Pot of all that shouldn't exist by normal accounts"

"I guess that's excited as my nephew is going to get" Rosalie sighed and Emmett chuckled.

"The teen years, Rosalie my love" Emmett laughed. "The best and worst years... for everyone. Remember how teenage Edward was...?"  
>"How could I forget" Rosalie said frowning at me as she walked past "Childish sulking, brooding, and an obsession for plain human girls and managing to draw us into fights with stray dogs and vengeful red-head bitches...?"<p>

"I hadn't realised he had gotten out of his seventeen year old years" Jasper added-their little strategy to let me know that any brooding would not be tolerated unless coming from an actual teenager and not a century old seventeen year old immortal grandfather.

"Be nice" Esme begged following them in, under Carlisle's arm.

"Oh, this as nice as we are going to be" Alice said. _You better not go into trauma-statue-mode... Charles is going to need you... I think, it's a bit blurry..._

"I am dealing" I murmured to her. "I am dealing... memories can be the worst type of pain"

Xx~xx~xX

"How far?" I asked softly and he huffed, flinging his arm petulantly in the air and already doing his 'I-am-not-going-to-try-because-it's-too-hard and I-don't-really-care-for-it' dance. It would be easy to just whack him lightly upside the head and challenge him into this but I had promised to be patient and understanding...

I wanted to be patient and understanding and not get distracted by my own adjusting emotions.

"I don't know" he sulked "A few feet..."

"Okay, I am going to run across and throw it to you"

"It won't reach me, that's too far" he grumbled.

"I am a vampire and you will _see_ it coming" I said slowly in waning patience and jumped fluidly over to the other side of the stream. "Charles?"

"Wh.." he blinked and groaned when realised I had moved. He was failing to keep his senses in harmony-if his eyesight was performing above human-wolf-standards, his hearing would lessen. "Oh, great... Houdini disappearing act"  
>"Pay attention, stop worrying about Leah" I stated, picking the golf ball up "She will be here shortly, I am certain. She just needs to talk to the elders about our arrival, treaty talk and stuff. She needs to tell them about Jacob too... organise for your aunt and everyone to come to our side of the treaty with little fear and see him and you"<p>

"I wasn't... Argh, throw the damn ball!" he hissed and I threw it and it hit him on the head-he had been utilising his hearing and forgotten to keep his eyesight focused.

"Ouch!" he growled, rubbing his head "Mother F..."

"Language" I said dryly.

"You did that on purpose!" he roared, pacing at the other side of the stream "You sparkling moody..."  
>"I don't know how many time I need to say 'Pay Attention'" I murmured, trying not grin when he attempted to jump across the stream like I had done and ended only a fifth the width of the stream and soaking from his waist down. Growling and huffing at me and promising me the ' True Death'.<p>

"Pretty hard to kill a vampire when you are drowning from the waist down" I laughed and he hissed, wading back to his side.

"Okay, throw it back..." I instructed feeling ashamedly lighter and less overwrought after he caught the golf ball with his forehead "Maybe it will help if you aim for my head"  
>"Shouldn't be too hard with the size of it" he muttered, tossing the small white ball repeatedly in his hand and trying to focus himself on strength and eyesight.<p>

He chucked it over the stream, fifty-five degrees from where I stood and it zoomed misguidedly through the forest. I sighed and ran after it, catching it before it hit anything and returning three seconds later.

"Did I hit you?" he asked hopefully.

"No, try again..." I sighed and tossed the ball casually across so it landed by his feet. He needed a bit of motivation... "I don't think Embry and Bradley would let you live this down if they find out you throw like a girl"

"They don't let me live down being Renesme's child" he muttered. He was of course, blowing it all out of proportion and finding it hard to understand the nature of the Quileute wolves and their uncomplicated aversion towards anything venom related-but he was Jacob's child first and they loved him with no reason to the fact.

But that didn't mean I couldn't use this; it was a noble twist of information, he needed motivation... and there may be more to the story than he was letting on.

"Well, let's try harder and not give them the satisfaction of you being _Renesme's_ child and a bad thrower too, hmm?"

"Okay fine" he conceded "I'll try harder..."

Xx~xx~xX 

I had never had a human connection.

We were always ten times more careful when returning to a previously visited town; careful if there were any humans who had known us and were still alive and if their descendants had been informed of our existence. It's twenty something years-not nearly enough time to ensure we can walk the streets of Forks without bumping into someone...

It was worse knowing that there were humans I had made an effort to communicate with once...

"She noticed" I breathed.

"But the car is tinted..." Emmett tried and then huffed. "You and Carlisle always have to choose the same fucking type of car each fucking year, hmm? Well, it's your problem"

"Maybe if I just let it be..." I murmured but already her thoughts were decided on approaching the large black Mercedes. If I drove of that would be suspicious... if I stayed, it had been twenty something years... shit, shit and shit...

"Dude, go!" Emmett groaned. "This is a no brainer..."  
>By the time Angela Weber had reached the back of the Mercedes, the gas had been pumped and I drove of less than calmly. She knew it had been me or at least Carlisle and my nerves were on fire with the current of all the many memories I retained of her-all twisting to my human Bella.<p>

She knew and it bothered me that I wanted her to know. I wanted Angela to know it was me, I wanted to have a connection with a human who remembered me before I had been ruptured by heartbreak and dangerous insecurities.

"And you claim I am Carlisle's retarded son..."Emmett scoffed. "Don't let the human's know; simple and simple but now you go and fuck it up for what?"

"It wasn't as simple as simple" I growl, sensing that Rosalie's moodiness over returning to a place were she would have to be hidden was working on him and now I was the bin that had to swallow his rubbish outburst. "She took that as a sign of 'Running Off'"  
>"And I told you we should fill up the tank closer to downtown..." Emmett groaned "But you think you know everything because..."<br>"Because I do" I snapped "Don't you dare take out three days of no sex on me, Em. I am more than willing to get into it with you"

"Then let's!" he growled grinning evilly at me "As soon as you park the car, you and me..."

"Hmm" I murmured thoughtfully, pulling easily into the hidden drive way and he paused his prepping for the fight.

"What?" he asked.

"This would be a good lesson for Charles on vampire strength against Shapeshifter human strength"

"Oh, that we are superior in both insistences" Emmett murmured cockily.

"That you aren't nearly as scary as you look"

"Drop the sweet talk and prepare yourself, Eddie..." he laughed "This is going to hurt..."

Xx~xx~xX

He is in the same room Bella had been in when she had delivered Renesme. Thankfully, this is one room that hadn't remained the same. Funny how he should be lying here now... it wouldn't be for long, they wouldn't let him stay under their care. It was a hostile sort of understanding the Quileute elders-passed, existing and the new ones-had with us.

"Any change?" I asked Carlisle softly and he shook his head, handing me the graph with Jacob's brain waves. "A brief spike at midday..."  
>"Brief..." Carlisle sighed. "And then... stagnant..."<p>

"Leah called" Charles murmured. "She wanted to talk to you"

"About...?" I asked my mind racing that Angela had somehow gone across to the Quileute Reservation and murmured of our existence and I had now callously put the treaty and our own supernatural laws at risk...

"I don't know, but I think it was about the lessons" he sighed. "I think... I think I have to be in _control _before I can... go there. They don't trust me"  
>"The new elders don't know you, Charles" I said softly remembering how the news of Renesme's little blood slip up could be too blame for their new precaution. "The pack accepts you"<p>

"You keep telling me that" he snapped, staring at Jacob's hand resting limply in his own.

"Because they do" I sighed "You shouldn't have doubts about that"  
>"I shouldn't but here they are!" he growled.<p>

"Did she say anything about Jake...?" I asked calmly and he took in a steady breath.

"Juts that... Paul would come with her and Sue and Charlie" he sighed. "They understand that Carlisle has to keep checking on things and she is trying to negotiate moving Jacob back to Paul and Rachel's and have Carlisle pass over the treaty line and..."

"Charlie..." I murmured absently.

"Yeah, Charlie" he stated frowning at my pained expression but he continued without a comment. "...and pass over the treaty line to watch him and maybe I can stay there too"

"Very little success in that matter" Carlisle sighed and then looked at me hard, continuing the matter in the safety of his mind._ I spoke to her briefly; the Renesme situation has regressed any trust we had formed with the council to mild tolerance and only because two of their wolves have imprinted on our family members and now that they can secure Jacob to remain with them... they are trying to get Charles away from us. Leah told me this and assured me that she wouldn't yield to that. The Quileute Council want to ensure that Charles is not even mildly interested in blood first, and unfortunately he had reacted to Leah's blood... it's all tricky and we still have to set up patrolling and his lessons and be careful with our stay... And then Jane..._

Jane. They would bend in the end-the Council-they knew they needed us here if this really was a Volturi vampire wolf-gene accelerant. This was all just formalities... It seemed that now knowing all vampires weren't evil didn't lessen their prejudices and had intensified them in the new elders. Could I blame them; she had broken their Alpha... but she had also saved Leah in a way. Before Charles, Leah had been a globe trotting hard drinking debauching reckless wolf and they would barely see her...

And here she was, acting Alpha as calm and level headed and more than what Sam could have managed. But the one outweighed the other; she may have saved Leah... but here Jacob was in a coma...

"Nothing we wont manage" I murmured and Charles ignored our exchange, staring at his father's face with tens of thousands questions swimming in his eyes. "I guess... I can postpone your next lesson, I am sure Emmett wont mind"

Xx~xx~xX

He has mastered his sight.

Now he won't stop talking about wood grains and dust particles. Now he doesn't know how to switch it off and I have a feeling it won't _switch off _now that it has become so apparent to his genetic form. But his mind hasn't taken hold of the fact to adjust to it and he walks with his hands pushed out in front of him because now... he can see far away, but he has still neglected the lesson on differentiating between what appears close and what is actually close...

He walks with his hands pushed out in front of him like he is blindfolded, eyes comically stretched wide and an innocent grin on his twenty something year old sixteen year old face. And we watch him with soft wonder because he is-in his momentary enthralment with his hereditary sight-our nephew and grandson to however many degrees and the love he strings from our unbeating hearts is unparalleled.

How could I begin to hate Forks when I was watching over him? How could I begin to regret Isabella when his eyes-I now realised-were as wide as hers had been? That innocence she had retained in her humanness conveyed truthfully on his face and giving fact that venom hadn't corrupted her. I hadn't corrupted her... power had corrupted her. She had always hated being the weak, stumbling human... the addictiveness of awakening graceful and strong and potently more desirable.

And because of him, how could I ever give up on Jacob... how could I ever give up on Renesme. My daughter... my son... friend...

How could I contain such an exponential strength because of this one being and still feel so utterly helplessly vulnerable in quiet moments...

Xx~xx~xX

"Edward...!" Alice roared. "What did you do!"

"Huh?" Charles paused his atrocious rendition of 'chop sticks' with a sharp resonance of the piano key.

"If you calm down..." I murmured but Emmett was behind her and her thoughts became clearer. "Oh"

"'Oh', that's all you are going to say?!" Rosalie came in roaring and Charles watched with mild interest. We normally kept our very sibling feuding away from him, they tended to get nasty...

"I will fix it..." I sighed, taking Charles fingers away from the keys and closing the lid slowly. "How many minutes?"

"Five... no, no... That won't work..." Alice breathed flipping through her visions easily; pretending to not be home was out of the question... we had not nearly enough time.

"What's happening?" Charles asked.

"Edward..." Rosalie began scathingly "Has decided to _repeat_ history"  
>"What does that mean?" Charles asked her-his eyes wide and disarming her anger somewhat. I was grateful for that, I didn't need 'Remember what happened last time...' and 'I told you so' right now.<p>

"It means I have made my strange existence apparent to one human" I sighed. "Nothing I cannot manage, Rosalie"  
>Her car was headed up the drive way.<p>

"Like you did the last time?" Rose hissed, smiling sarcastically "Well, don't keep her waiting... she might be then next plain love of your life"  
>"Argh" I huffed, getting up "Alice, any productive suggestions...?"<p>

"Well, maybe plastic surgery as an excuse...?" she breathed frowning. "Carlisle is going to freak, then do a spot of fasting ... and then preach all day when he gets back from hunting"

"You sure know how to complicate what is already complicated" Emmett shook his head.  
>"What about a doppelganger relative..." Charles offered and everyone looked at him. "Uhm, you guy's don't watch Vampire Diaries?"<br>"That's like a chicken watching a slow roasting turkey in an oven" Emmett breathed.

"That doesn't even make sense, Emmett" Jasper drawled from the door, Angela was now making her way to the porch. "And Edward... this time we will consider my ways of taking care of _exposure_..."

"I hear you!" I yelled.

"Thank God she doesn't have brown eyes" Rosalie sighed.

"She does" Alice said morbidly "I have seen them... in the past"

Xx~xx~xX

I envy her.

She has aged. She has wrinkles around her eyes, her skin isn't smooth over her forehead and she has filled out. Gone is the skinniness. She looks... like a woman. She rings the bell again and I watch her easily through the glass panel. She huffs, pushes her glasses up and then tries knocking.

_I know they are here... I know she is here..._

Isabella! She has seen Isabella...

"Angela" I breathed opening the door quickly and Alice groaned, assuming I was going to go with Charles idea of being a doppelganger descendant of the original Edward-that was foiled by my knowing her.

"Ed..." she looked up at me squinting behind her glasses and then took them of and wiped the lenses before placing them carefully back on her faces-still squinting and believing she must be going blind before deciding she was too young-at forty two-to be suffering from blindness.

"Uh... hello" I murmured and her eyes went wide. "You haven't changed one bit, Angela"  
>"Uh... me?!" she jumped back and pointed a finger accusingly "Look at you... look at..."<p>

She took a tentative step forward and impolitely touched my face before retracting her hand as though my skin had burned her and not froze her fingers.

"Isabella" she murmured, her thoughts finally revealing the matter; Isabella it seems had shown herself to Angela-the reason was unclear in her thoughts-and Angela had realised how Isabella now looked distinctly like a Cullen.

She had not said a word about it to anyone nor did she plan on it.

"I am afraid I am divorced from her" I murmured stonily and she gulped once, shook her head to clear it of how beautiful I remained and enthralling. "You met her recently?"  
>"Uhm..." she decided to drop the matter of my still intact looks "Yes. She asked if... I had seen... you around... in La Push"<p>

She couldn't remember the context of that meeting. Angela felt like there had been a presence with Isabella but she couldn't remember. A memory loss she knew was not normal... and under some form of compulsion, she had religiously checked her visits to the Quileute Community centre for either my presence or Jacob and Leah's...

Strange. Too strange...

"Oh" was all I said and she smiled sheepishly. "She asked if you would alert her if I returned too?"  
>"Uhm..." she blanked out then, standing awkwardly in front of me-her thoughts nothing but Isabella's glorious hard face. "I don't... remember?"<br>"That's okay Angela" I murmured. "It was nice of you to drop by"

"She said you had a grandchild" she looked at me suspiciously-enthralling at the physical age of seventeen; there was no way to hide that fact.

"I don't know why she would say that" was all I said to her, shuffling slightly, a human telltale sign of dismissal.

"Oh" she breathed in confusion "Well, it was nice seeing you. Say hi to... Alice. Uhm, and everyone and... Sorry about the divorce... uhm, you were young and..."  
>"Thank you" I breathed. "Goodbye Angela"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"She won't tell... any humans at least" Alice breathed in relief and everyone relaxed.

"Are you certain it was Joham's daughter?" Carlisle asked again, a finger on his lips.

"No, Angela had no memory of anything but Isabella's face" I said. "It is the only logical solution however; Renesme showed me how the girl has a gift of _persuasion_... she had to have persuaded Angela to do those things, not to remember and to keep her thoughts hidden and wait for further instruction and that may be why we can't see her connection with Bella in the future..."  
>"It's too windy a plot" Jasper stated.<p>

"Yes, but when is anything to do with the Volturi ever _straightforward_" Leah growled. "This is too much; I don't know how Jake dealt with it-phasing kids and elders and I can't function knowing your bitch of an ex wife-no offence..."  
>"Uhm, continue" I urged.<p>

"Your ex wife..." Leah growled and swallowed down the more colour full words she wanted to describe her with before saying slowly "_Bella..._ has now sent human spies all over our land!"

"Then they know" Alice sighed. "We only have to wait..."  
>"And like always" Emmett breathed "We look forward to their arrival"<br>"I wish you would lose your arm or something..."Rosalie growled "So you will stop taking this lightly"  
>"It will only make the loving more interesting..." he chuckled "Juggling you with one arm, my lovely blonde Amazon goddess"<p>

"Let's see how interesting the loving will be when you lose your third leg too " Rosalie countered and Emmett flinched.

"Honestly Rose" Esme sighed "I don't know were you get that mouth"

"I am glad for it!" Emmett laughed and everyone groaned.

"If I didn't know any better..."Charles sighed "I would think our world wasn't in immediate danger with you crazy lot"

Xx~xx~xX

"So when are they coming?" Charles asked Leah and she sighed wearily, looking over to Embry-recapping the stern gazes of the elder's reprimanding her for leaving her Alpha in our care and the ensuing battle she had had to defend her trust in us.

"Let's give it a couple of days" Leah murmured. "After that little development with Bella having a hypnotising half-vampire mystery being on her side... I am starting to think a few elders on our council have fallen victim"

"So it may not be because I am..." he paused and looked at Embry with a distrustful frown and Embry frowned back at him in genuine confusion. I was equally as confused at Charles antipathy towards what could be his biological Uncle.

"Because you are what?"Leah asked and then guessed "The dreaded cold ones offspring?"  
>"Well..." Charles murmured.<p>

"Dude, you are Jacob Black's son..." Embry murmured and Charles scowl returned full force, thoughts hidden with ease and eyes shadowed. "By all accounts you are supposed to be Alpha right now"

"Alpha... Leader" Charles murmured to himself. "So who is the leader now, you Embry?"

"Uhhh... how does he not know this?" Embry asked Leah and she shrugged. She hadn't thought it was worth knowing...

"Leah is Beta" I explained "By lineage she is second in line to the Alpha title"  
>"I don't like that he knows our secrets" Embry whispered uselessly to Seth who grinned at me.<p>

"So Embry..." he paused, the other three wolves were oblivious to his train of thought but I knew him well enough to know without having access to his mind, were his mind had been heading. Embry was half-brother (to whatever hypothetical this was, it was there) and so Embry would now be able to contest...

I wanted to highlight that Embry wouldn't have been able to contest regardless because Leah had both lineage on either side of her family tree. She would still trump Embry, both Seth and her...

But once again; the wolves' inability to have secrets amongst themselves made everything one big soap opera that they didn't like discussing it in their human forms.

"Pass me some orange juice, please" Leah sighed "These buns burn after being away from the stench of sweet bleach for so long..."

Charles got up fluidly, huffing momentarily and grumbling to Embry if he wanted juice too and then somehow, in the short distance between his seat on the island and the refrigerator-his speed kicked up. He went crashing into the fridge with a loud wham and stumbled backwards disorientated and straight into the island table-chipping marble and cracking the surface in a jagged crisscrossing line.

"Stay still!" I hissed as he pushed against the table, Embry and Leah jumping of quickly as the whole thing leaned to one side before righting itself again with a groan. "Charles, remain still!"  
>"Right" he said his voice shaking "I will... I am still"<p>

"What..." Esme entered the kitchen, her eyes wide "Edward...?"

"Now why would you think I flung Embry into the refrigerator" I chuckled "It was your grandson... he thought the refrigerator was a time portal and ran into it"

"It's totalled" Rosalie appeared, staring at the concaved front of the stainless steel refrigerator "Charles did this?"  
>"By accident" Leah sighed; she had already located herself at Charles side, holding his arm.<p>

"Ouch" Charles said finally "That's two bruises today"

"You were bruised?" Esme murmured emerging by his other side "Where?!"

"My head..." he gave me an accusing look and I mouthed 'Girly Throw' to him. "But it healed quickly and... Well, never mind"

"You should have taught him about this already" Leah hissed at me. "He is going to run into a truck!"

"Yeah" Embry murmured, touching the curved dent of the refrigerator "And run right _through_ the damn truck"

"What were you thinking when you moved that fast?" I asked and he sighed.

"I was going for a 'stomp to the fridge' act" Charles mumbled.

"Mature, Charles" Leah reprimanded and he groaned, muttering as he had done a million times that he wasn't a child.

"Well..."Seth sighed. "At least he didn't run into one of the elder's trucks... that would have been..."  
>"Not helping bug brain" Leah huffed at Seth and he stopped talking.<p>

And just bellow the soft murmur of everyone's steadily multiplying conversation and talks, I heard confused frantic thoughts. Then there were two heavy placements of feet on the wood upstairs... a groan...

"Do you hear that?" Rosalie asked me and I nodded. "Is that..."  
>"Jacob" I breathed already making my way the stairs but he decided to make a quick escape from the strange room that smelt like vampires; jumping out the window and landing as a giant russet wolf by the time I reached the top.<p>

He looked up at me once-our eyes met and I felt the resentment and revulsion he had always held for me from so long ago when he loved a girl that had loved me momentarily more-as I stood with Rose and a bewildered Carlisle staring down at him and he growled in such explosive distrust before running through the woods.

"Should we...!" Carlisle began and I raised my hand for him to stop.

"He is heading to La Push... to Billy" I murmured.

"But Billy is dead" Rosalie whispered and Leah and Embry entered the room, the sound of Charles crashing up the stairway in his unstable speed and strength resounding through the house.

"Exactly" I stated, listening as his thoughts got fainter. "He doesn't know that..."  
>"He does!" Leah growled, looking around the room "Embry..."<br>"Already on it" Embry murmured, heading back out to La Push.

"What I meant was..." I breathed "He has no memory of Billy passing. He did not recognise the room... he did not understand the voices in the kitchen..."  
>"Why are you so calm?!" Leah demanded.<p>

"He woke up" Charles answered, standing in the middle of the door frame and chipping the wood there when he attempted to hold onto the inner sides. "He woke up when we thought he might never..."

"Leah, you need to head to La Push" I said "And explain that he has had memory loss... before they overload him with a grim history"

"Amnesiatic werewolves..." Alice sighed, waltzing in slowly "...Brainwashed old high school friends, clumsy vampire-werewolf super hybrid..."

"I am not clumsy" Charles murmured sulkily but Alice only huffed in response.

"And to top it all of..." Seth said dismally "We have Jane and some other random super powered vampires to worry about"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**\(^.^,)/...:) :) **

**!Back to back lengthy chapters! **

**As always, I love to hear your theories, suggestions, likes and dislikes on things... It's amazing how inspiring reviews can be. The title of this chapter-First Sight-was taking from the title of the first Twilight chapter with reason...**

**The reason being... well, I'll let you figure it out with the one clue that it will be a reference to the future (the far, far future).**

**Review and Pm responses:**

**Double imprint? There is another little title to a lengthy thesis on werewolf/vampire genetics and what one can allow from the other... let's see how it goes though, hm.**

**Renesme never forgotten, only lost. Papa Edward stated in this chapter that he wants his baby girl back.**

**Charles and Edward well, Edward is more active in the role of father to Charles so their relationship has a lot of pulls and shoves because of this.**

**Till next time,**

**Tj **


	20. The Old Me

**THE OLD ME**

**Xx~xx~xX**

_We seldom realise it as we go through life, but the hardest person to please..._

_The least accepting individual in our lives..._

_Is our own selves.-**TJ S.**_

_**Xx~xx~xX**_

_**X**_

_**Xx~xx~xX**_

**LEAH CLEARWATER**

"Jacob... calm down"

"You have got to be kidding, Clearwater!" he roared "You are on _their_ side... you of all people!?"  
>"Maybe if you phase..." I said slowly, praying that this would play on my side and he wouldn't suddenly realise he was Alpha and command me in wolf form "I can show things to you slowly"<br>"No" he stated, wrapping an arm around himself "It hurt... then. Those leeches did something to me and they have done it to you too"  
>"No one has done anything..."<p>

"Where is Billy" he cut me, pivoting in the middle of the room and looking over the new furniture "Rachel has been here what, a day and she thinks she can just run things...?"

"Jacob..."Embry tried but Jake had rounded on Billy junior with mild suspicion.

"Who are you?" he asked "You phased? He looks like..."  
>"Jake, calm down..." Embry said slowly.<p>

"I _am_ calm" Jacob looked at us with confusion "What happened to Sam wanting to storm the Cullen manor..."

"He is stuck way back then" Embry murmured to me quickly "Uhm, Bill... uh, Bill... why don't you go out and find Quil, Sam and..."

"What happened, Embry" he asked skipping over me easily. I realised he was stuck in a memory before him and I were close. He regarded me with that old chariness all the wolves used to give me.

"You... fell" Embry said lamely and I groaned.

"I fell... I fell into the vampire pit?" he asked suspiciously. "Where is Billy? Where is Sam?"

"Jake..." Quil entered first, then Sam "Hey, buddy... nice to see you awake"  
>"What the fuck is going on here!" Jake yelled jumping back "What...am I asleep? This is a dream, there is no way you can be that old in twenty four hours..."<br>"It's actually been just bellow two decades, Jacob" Sam murmured.

"No way!" Jake breathed, his eyes wide. "I have been asleep for two decades?"  
>"Uh, no... Not... two decades" I explained and he looked at me from the corner of his eye "Maybe a week..."<br>"A week doesn't calculate to two fucking decades Clearwater!" he roared and I shrunk back. "Sam... Why are you old, Quil old buddy... are those wrinkles?"  
>"Yeah, Jake... wrinkles" Quil said.<p>

"And Claire, did she..." he asked Quil.

"We are together, buddy... reason I stopped phasing" Quil said softly.

"Jake..." I tried again and his face went slack, jaw hanging.

"I was at their house, she was on the couch..." he said strongly nodding his head as he spoke " He asked me to kill him. She..."  
>"Who, Renesme?" I asked and he frowned. "She asked you to..."<p>

"What?" he frowned at me.

"Renesme... are you remembering her..." I looked at Embry who nodded for Jake to continue.

"Did she die?" Jacob asked ignoring my question all together.

"No, Jake... she is half-vampire" Embry explained bemused and Jake scowled in confusion.

"Huh?" Jake glowered "What the hell are you talking about! Did Bella die giving birth to that _thing_?!"

"Oh shit..." I breathed walking out the house "Oh, shit... oh shit, oh man oh shit!"

Xx~xx~xX

"No Charles" I whispered to him and he groaned. "He... we just need to jog his memory a bit... and then we can see what we can do about..."

He tells me more of the vampires have gone to do patrol and they don't want to leave any loopholes. He talks quick and fluid-no hitches or pauses for breathes and his voice drones in a melodious tenor-I am still searching for that little nick he had when he spoke, it's in there somewhere and sometimes it feels like I have to fight to remember it and not get lost in his preternatural new form...

_Leah?_ He asks again and I realise I was busy analysing his voice-amidst all the chaos, seriously Leah?-and missed his question.

"Huh?" I say dumbly and he sighs, before he can repeat himself...  
>"Clearwater!" Sam roared and I heard the distinct growling sound of Jacob and then Quil's cursing.<p>

"I have to go, Charles" I said quickly and hang up. "What... now?"  
>"He ran off...!" Quil yelled, his eyes moving frantic and dancing in panic mode "He has gone to see Bella!"<br>"What do you mean _gone to see Bella_?" I asked confused and remembered which 'today' Jacob was living in "Argh, shit... call Dr Sparkles... I have to get there quick, Seth is with the pups so that leaves Embry who is further up patrolling... I can't handle Jacob alone!"

"Alpha him!" Quil said "I mean, well... Beta him. Won't it work?"  
>"I haven't got time, I have to go!"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**This seemed to be the world they were used to. The world they knew how to live in and that moment when they had sought for normalcy was what had derailed them. They had gotten too accustomed to chaos, too used to unexpected adversaries... **

**Even now, watching them handle a situation that would have given me panic attacks-I can tell they were built for this. They are connected for this-to overcome this...**

Xx~xx~xX

**CHARLES EDWARD BLACK**

I wish I could have a panic attack in actual fact.

Instead of listening to my heart running a never desisting marathon. Habits... it was all habit, Edward had explained and I had to break out of it or else endure it. That fast rapping of a frantic heart, sweaty hands and blurring vision that came with an imminent panic attack. The symptoms hurt for that moment but the desisted in the shortness of breath for humans... and that was now lost on me. Leah had said, there were certain things wolves couldn't fall victim too. So I was stuck staring out the window, having a never ending panic attack...

"I tend to just stop moving for a bit" Edward breathed, standing next to me in front of the window Jacob had jumped from.

"And your new favourite..." I whispered "Whacking me with golf balls... you know, you could have given me a concussion"  
>"Tactile senses, Charles" he said absently "Those of a vampire... well, they are far superior. I can discern quite easily how much pressure, force and velocity to apply to any one thing I seek to wield or manipulate"<p>

"I am not running into stuff" I murmured.

"I noticed" he said "But maybe one day you can go for a run with me"

"He is okay" I told him "Leah called... just memory problems, but he is fine"  
>"So why are you still panicking?" he asked.<p>

"Because..." I said slowly. "She is away from me... and there are things happening and... she promised we would remain the same even if this happened"  
>I waved my hand slowly over my form "It wouldn't matter..."<p>

"It doesn't matter, Charles" he said.

"Being a kid in this body..." I scoffed "It does matter... because you can't begin to understand how much I am _not a kid in this body!"_

"W..." he stopped and peered into the distance. "This is not good... stay here, no matter what"  
>"Why?" I challenged.<p>

"Charles, please... if you really aren't a kid, you will listen" Edward said quickly and looked frantically to the outside-to the mass of trees. I tried listening but heard soft sounds... nothing strange... he could hear thoughts, that might have been it. "Stay in here, okay?"  
>"Tell me why?" I demanded but I saw the mass of russet moving carefully through the trees. "Jacob!"<br>"No, stay here..." Edward said firmly. "Charles, listen to me... stay here, okay?"  
>"Fine" I said stonily and he disappeared downstairs immediately.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**It did seem to some extent that this land the Quileute originally owned entirely was destined to pull in all sorts of things from my family. It did seem that way, but I couldn't deny that all the battles that had been worth fighting for... had been won here and thus, would it not be symbolic if we conquered everything right here...**

Xx~xx~xX

**EDWARD CULLEN**

He huffs once; contemplating remaining a wolf and the fearing Sam placing an edict on him. His memories are jumbled, all before the imprint took place. He phases eventually and walks grudgingly towards the porch, frowning when he sees me sitting calmly on the second step.

"Leech" he breathes, looking towards the house. He decides that I am not as heartbroken as I should be so Bella should still be inside, alive and pregnant.

"Jacob" I murmur and he shuffles in front of me. "It's nice to see you, you ran away so unexpectedly before"

"Why was I in there?" he demands "Why did I have wires..."  
>"To monitor your brain waves" I tell him but he doesn't want to dwell on it-he doesn't want to know.<p>

"Where is Bella?" he asks-demands-in that cockiness of his that always had the ability to bring me back down to his sixteen year old age.

"Gone" I state dryly and he begins to shake-as careful as I had been, I failed to elaborate better. "Divorced, we are divorced... Jacob!"

"So she gets pregnant with your _thing_..." he roars, blurring before me and I am vaguely aware that Charles is listening "And you just dump her? Did I kill it... did I kill it? I hope I killed it..."  
>"Jacob, she is well..." I try but he is shaking, shimmering and trembling in uncontrolled hitches.<p>

"Stay out of it, Emmett!" I instruct but Emmett emerges from the house anyway. "Jake, just stay calm... oh, Leah"

She arrives a second too late as Jacob-taking every calm action and earnestness I give him as some warped form of antagonism-phases and lurches towards me, jaws wide and teeth glinting in the sun. I should move out of the way, this would be a good time to move...

"Shit!" Emmett breathes rushing forward, whacking Jacob half-heartedly across the head and sending him a few feet away from us. He gets up quickly, shaking the stinging smack of and prepares to rebound. Leah intercepts him-but their relationship isn't the same...

He is stuck in the days when he and Leah couldn't agree on the colour of the sky to save their lives. He is relentless, carrying a resentment from long-too long ago-and she isn't as rabidly ready for confrontation thanks to the calming effect of imprinting.

"We have to stop him!" I hiss and rush to the snarling mass of grey and russet. I am immediately whammed by stray paws and gruff flings and Emmett manages to pull Jacob momentarily away from Leah. He gains a sick screeching slap over his front as Jacob's claw move over his face and down.

"Emmett!" I hiss and he stumbles back cursing as his left arm dangles precariously from his shirt sleeve.

Leah and Jacob don't let up-every thought she flings at him, every memory is met with blind denial and volatile bloodlust. He thinks she is covering for us, that it's some sort of mind trick and I have killed Bella... Speed against Brawn... but it doesn't last long when he has her squirming underneath him.

"No!" Charles runs through the house and I grab him quickly, fighting to keep him away from them-their snapping jaws and wayward claws tornadoing through the air.

"Do it, Leah!" I roar "Edict him for crying out loud!"  
>She does. She tells him to stop... it only lasts a split second before he scoffs and tells her his heritage but it's enough that she has squirmed from under him and bolts through to the forest-Jacob on her tail.<p>

"Charles..." I try but he is gone-he is past listening, growling and snarling for me to release him. "Call Carlisle and Jasper, Emmett!"  
>"I am left handed..." he murmurs groaning in pain when his arm snags on the last stony vein and drops. "I'll..."<p>

"Emmett, do it!" I roar but Charles is now impossible to hold between defiant pushing and steady shimmering and trembling. "Charles, don't... Charles..."

I release him a second too late; his pained cry filling the air as the venom burns through the phasing in an indescribable blind flash-but he doesn't let the pain control him, he has felt worse from the first brief phase of his death. He lands a reddish brown wolf, toppling over, unstable on four legs but adamantly rising three times.

"Charles..." I breathe but he has already made up his mind-connected with the chaos of Jacob's enraged thoughts and Leah's desperate pleading he learns to run on four legs in seconds. And I follow him, Emmett in tow.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Charles?"  
>"I'm..." I inhaled sharply, and around the second exhale, my breath escaped in steady chortles. I started laughing.<p>

Lying in the freezing snow, the cold pinching my skin but it didn't matter as I lay in the snow-sinking in the white bed as my preternatural heat worked away at the ice covers. It all didn't matter in this split second in time. It hurt-God it hurt-cutting through that third barrier Leah had told me about...

That place where you were neither wolf nor man but both conjoined in what could only be your spirit form. That place that I had only ever tasted in trickling quantity before the pain made me recoil right back into my human form. I was not joined as a wolf and a man there, the deformity of being a part vampire turned it into three beings and they all reared their heads fighting for recognition...

It hurt so much and I wouldn't be trying that again. I was in no hurry to phase again... but lying in the snow, Leah in that hateful elegant worn out summer dress kneeling by me, Jacob back in La Push and sane (memory loss or not, sane was a good thing...)

I couldn't stop laughing because I had never been a wolf and by God, it felt... (After that blinding head splitting pain of course)... It felt _good!_

"Honey, are you hurt anywhere...?" she murmured so softly, turning me over, her eyes never leaving my face.

"I phased" I stated, I would feel the stupid grin playing on my lips.

"I know" she said-something between a whimper and astonishment-clutching my hands over my chest, her eyes closed.

"I saved you" I chuckled in an odd high and she opened her eyes, sorry swimming freely in their earth liquid.

"He wasn't going to hurt me..." she said and then paused, pursing her lips formidably "Well, not too badly..."

"It was..." I trailed of, lost in the memory of chaos, four voices booming in my mind. The violent aggression rolling of Jacob, Leah's panic and quick strategic turns and nips and the _strength... that strength..._

I had been the intruder, no one noticing my entry into their wolf link until I had reached Leah and Jacob, until I had intercepted Jacob and had demanded he had _demanded _I tell him who I was and I told him compulsively. That little detail of my being his son had saved me from some rather large dagger like teeth...

"It was amazing... Lee" I breathed, sweet drowsiness falling over my mind. I felt like I had gone to war, like I had walked from the sun with that one phase...

She picked me up easily, and I attempted to shrug out of her arms but I was too tired, weary...

"Amazing..."

"You said that already" she muttered, moving at an odd steady pace through the woods. Trees moved by us, she was still moving impossibly fast for a person carrying a teenage boy... a teenage boy in a grown built man's body...

"It hurt like a mother!" I slurred "I don't think I will be doing that again..."

"I think I am naked, Lee!" I laughed. "Close your eyes..."  
>"Your high kid" she said dryly. "High on your own adrenaline..."<p>

"As high as a kite" I laughed, the sound droning through giggles before I knocked out.

Xx~xx~xX

The house was quiet.

Before, I had thought that was a normal thing about living with the Cullen's and when I found out of course that they were supernatural beings with a ghost like knack of going about the house unheard and unseen it had been okay too. But when my senses had kicked up, I started to notice how little things signified a presence-a shimmer in the air meant someone had moved from one point to another. A change in the temperature meant a window or door was open and if there was a collective smell of sweet chrysanthemums topped in honey-a collective of vampires was huddled somewhere. (I still hadn't bothered to dissect the complexity that was vampire scents).

The house was quiet and I was more than aware, prying my eyes open and breathing steadily, that I was alone. Alone with my thoughts and alone in the house-this meant only one thing; they had all gone to discuss Jacob.

Jacob...

The memory of fighting the enraged giant russet wolf set my nerve endings on fire with fear and... Exhilaration. That natural inbuilt need a wolf had for fighting and hunting working up a storm in my mind.

Jacob... Jacob hadn't remembered me at all. I would get to the pain of that fact later; I still had to digest understanding what having a telepathic link meant. How thoughts were formulated and dismissed in another beings mind and flashed over your own, throwing your own thoughts and emotions into disarray. Leah's fear and worry-Jacob's anger and suspicion-My own fear and confusion-Seth's worry and anxiousness and then Embry had joined that with the background sound of some unfamiliar mental voices...

Chaotic, furious and dangerous-and yet somehow it all made sense... thinking of the way natural wolves hunted. Most of it just sort of locked into place naturally when I thought about it, like it had been like that before-the things I had been told about wolves fitting in perfectly with any confusion I had felt. There were parts that seemed unbelievable, thinking of the way Jacob had simply 'demanded' I tell him who I was and I had been unable to _not _tell him; that queasy weight falling over my mind to show him my memories-the memory of him trying to tell me some boring story while I lay in bed, I must've been four years old...

Thinking of how Embry and Seth could co-ordinate over the vast distance, sending images to me on how to deal with moving on four shaky limbs...

Thinking of the way Jacob had called Leah a _harpy_...

"Shit" I sat up, rubbing the side of my head-a thousand words and image's rushing to the forefront of my mind.

I remembered a day that hadn't existed in my own memory so clearly. It had been Jacob's day and Leah's day-their shared memory. He had been thinking of some girl and she had been making fun of him-but not in the way she always did-this had been different. She had wanted to hurt him and he had wanted to hurt her back...

And here I was thinking that their past held a totally different story. It had felt like she wasn't really... no, not supported. Not accepted either... just _something_. Like her anger and fighting with Jacob in that memory was met with grudging placating from the other wolves.

If I had thought the Jacob I knew with his depression, bi-polar personality and obsession with a woman who didn't want him was some how pathetic and a simultaneous loose cannon...

This live wire barbed teeth burly wolf with the unforgiving glint in the eye was terrifying and erased my understanding of a 'naturally aggressive Shapeshifter'-that had been unadulterated rage embodied. He had only released me because of my memories and the sound of vampires approaching. He wouldn't hurt us, Leah was so convinced... but a wolf's idea of hurting came from 'that in which could not heal'... and if you had regenerative cells and everything could heal...

Then by all wolf-logic accounts, a broken thigh bone wasn't really _hurting _if it could heal_._

Hell, a torn limb wasn't really hurting one, if it could be attached easy or possibly re-grow...

Xx~xx~xX

The most logic place for them to be right now was at either Sam's or Billy's but if some of the Cullen's were there then it may be Charlie's... Charlie who didn't want anything to do with creepy pale beautiful and hairy Quileute never aging boys.

I really shouldn't go, the sticky note on the refrigerator indicated that Jasper, Carlisle and Esme were patrolling our area. I wasn't really alone in the end, just being babysitted with a good few miles of radius.

I really shouldn't go to Charlie's if they were trying to reason with a denial prone man stuck in a teenage mind... but this was the chance of a lifetime. This was about helping my dad... partly. But that little realisation that I could force memories through the wolf link, that they all could and there was no controlling that-well, not really... and Jacob's anger about something big and a part of me was ever grateful that Leah had nothing to do with it, but I had always thought that some up heaving factor had formed their friendship.

So many questions about Jacob's past and who better to ask than the time travelling man himself...

I just needed to mind the teeth.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"This is not happening!"

"It's happening and you need to snap out of it dude" Embry said slowly, but he continued to shake his head, pacing Charlie's little kitchen.

"Jacob..." Charlie murmured, glancing at Sue quickly "I haven't heard from Bella since... since maybe Charles last birthday"  
>"Charles..." Jacob tried the name on his tongue, pausing then frowning like it gave him a bad taste and shaking his head once before resuming his pacing.<p>

"Your son" Quil said

"Who you were about to chew up" Sue growled "I would have chewed you up if you hurt one hair on him!"  
>"You know he wouldn't have done that, Mom" Seth murmured "Right, Jake?"<br>"Charles" was all Jacob responded with, his hands attacking his hair. He paused his pacing again, this time covering his face with his large hands and inhaled deeply.

He shook his head, black satin moving aimlessly with the motion and still kept his face hidden behind his hand "No freaking way, I was at home yesterday and Paul was there eating my food and I wanted to go see if Bella was alive"

"Uh..."Billy junior mumbled walking slowly in the kitchen and looking at his amnesiatic uncle cautiously. "Can I...?"  
>"Come in, Billy" Sue sighed, gesturing he hurry with her hand.<p>

"Billy..." Jacob asked, dropping one hand only an inch lower from his face so he revealed an arched eyebrow above a wide eye. "Where is my father?"  
>"Jake, maybe you need to sit down" Rachel said softly, not moving from the doorway to the lounge.<p>

"Uhm" Billy tried again, waving his hand briefly to catch Sam's attention.

"Yes, Billy" Sam said.

"The... Cullen's are asking if they can come in to..."  
>"Hell no!" Jacob snarled "They did this..."<br>"We've been through this buddy" Seth sighed "This is no conspiracy"  
>"I would never ever in a million years agree to living with those <em>leeches <em>for _years..." _Jacob ranted.

"Maybe as the old you" Seth breathed "But when you're imprint is a Cullen then what?"  
>"A wolf wouldn't imprint on a vampire" Jacob spat. "That goes <em>against <em>everything!" 

"Jake, sit down..."Sue instructed and Jacob shot Seth one last suspicious gaze before following a slow moving arthritis riddles Sue to the lounge.

Xx~xx~xX

"...Edward and Bella..." Jacob trailed "Yeah, the _thing that was killing her._ I remember..."

"What else?" Sue egged

"The last thing" Jacob murmured, closing his eyes "The last thing was that _it_ was born and she... oh, there was so much blood... too much blood and..."

He stopped talking abruptly and frowned at Seth "Those leeches are right outside"  
>"Just Edward and Emmett" Seth murmured "Leah is with them"<br>"Just Leah?" Jacob asked frowning "Just Leah... and we are in here with..."  
>"Even then, you knew they weren't like that" Seth said firmly. "Prejudices aside, you knew they weren't like the other red eyed vampires"<br>"Hmm..." Jacob sighed.

"So that's all you remember then?" Charlie pressed "Nessie's birth?"  
>"Nessie?" Jacob tried the name like he had done with Charles, frowning in confusion and then shook his head "Twenty years, huh"<p>

"Yeah, buddy" Quil had been watching Jacob silently, standing next to Paul and Rachel at the other side of the room.

"Wh..." Seth paused turning his head to the curtail covered window-Jacob, Billy and Embry imitating his movement. "Flip"  
>"Whose that...?" Jacob asked and Embry rose from the chair stiffly, indicating Seth remain.<p>

"Charles" Seth said nervously. "Em...?"

"Let me just let him know Jake is okay" Embry sighed "Leah is out there, Edward and Emmett..."  
>"Maybe if he saw him..." Seth tried and Jacob blanched.<p>

"No!" Jacob yelled.

"You don't want to see your son?" Sue asked worriedly.

"Yesterday, I was in love Bella..." Jacob said shakily "...today, I have a son with Bella's daughter? The fuck... the fuck...!"  
>"Calm down, Jake!" Sam roared. "Paul get out with Rachel... Charlie Sue..."<p>

"Calm down?" Jacob asked, a horrid cynical grin on his face "I saw the thing be birthed and then went forth and populated the earth with more things...!?"  
>"Jake, he can hear you...!"Seth hissed, panicking as the sound of Charles yelling for Edward to let him through so he could explain things to his father started to grow in accordance to Jacob's ranting.<p>

"Hear me?" Jacob stepped away from the couch "Hear me? Did you not see the memory of them feeding Bella _blood _in a plastic cup?!"

"Jacob, it was her choice..." Embry murmured

"Her choice..." Jacob said thoughtfully and calmed a little "It had been her choice. She chose him... she chose Edward over me, she chose _death_ over me... and then I... I _imprint _on her _thing_?"

He looked at Seth and Embry for an answer-patiently through the background noise of Edward yelling for Charles to calm down and trust them.

"Well, uhm..."Seth stuttered.

"Yes" Embry said immovably "And here we are"  
>"Why don't I remember" Jake asked softly "Why can't I feel it... the... imprint?"<br>"I don't know, buddy" Embry whispered "But you have to face the facts..." 

"You have a son" Seth said. "He needs you..."

"I _need_ me" Jake whispered anxiously "I need me! I was fucking sixteen and now, I have a grown son... I fucking need me, Seth! This is bullshit!"  
>"Jake..." Embry tried.<p>

"No, you fucking listen Embry!" Jake roared pointing aggressively at Embry, but he remained in control-his face twisted between anger and fear of his own emotions "I am not dealing with this in a split second because you lot say so! I am not sitting here and pretending I understand this that you are telling me that _that leech_ and I are friends or whatever..."  
>"That never happened" Jacob finished backing out of the room and heading towards the back door "You need to understand that! I don't know what the hell you are all talking about and I am not going to act like I do because a as long as I don't remember then it never bloody happened!"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"He hates me..." Charles breathed.

"You can't hate someone you don't know" Leah sighed.

"I hate Hitler"

"That's because you know Hitler did bad things" Leah murmured, shifting down the log a little.

They were alone in the shallow parts of the woods, still close enough to the Swan residence to hear Sue's truck's engine. She was cautious and controlled beside him and he was unaware of this; lost in his pain and gradual realisation of half of the enigmatic puzzle that was his life. Everything seemed to be tipped over, like her and Charles little patch of heaven that they had cultivated with the utmost care just for the two of them had intruders. Invisible intruders who constantly trampled their daisies and smouldered their green lawns and it seemed the more she tried to fight them off, swinging blindly at their indiscernible faces-the more they came.

And maybe she didn't want to acknowledge the fact that she knew what they were. He sat with his shoulders slumped staring at the insides of his hands-his much larger palms. He was frowning-she thought it was funny once that whenever he displayed certain emotions outside of the happy positive spectrum; he looked like Edward.

It was no different with him sitting beside her in the coolness of the woods, the sun setting slowly through the thick trees and casting everything in varying green tranquil hues and subtle goldenness.

These invisible forces...

Forces that had made Charles grow too fast. That had made him phase... and now she didn't know how to look at him or behave. A hug was the logic thing to do in his sadness but suddenly it felt like a useless gesture if he was much bigger than she was and she couldn't possibly hope to hold him like she had been able to not three months ago...

"Then I should hate him" Charles murmured eventually, frowning hard and scaring her at how fierce he looked, nothing adorable about his anger now-there was no fear that he would be under the weight of a panic attack. He could burst into a bronze wolf-his fur shimmering too lustrously, no roughness in the texture making him seem like some sort of blazing metallic fox...

"I want to hate him too!" Charles snarled and she stiffened-his voice booming with a supernatural volume and the sound deep and rich. The words were of a troubled teenager but the voice and anger came from an ethereal man. It was like his form was fluctuating with his emotions; moving between Charles the Shapeshifter man and Charles the man with venom in his veins.

"He doesn't hate you" she said and berated her other self for how weak her voice came out. She didn't want to acknowledge it but he had scared her with his yelling. "And you shouldn't wish for that"  
>"Don't tell me what to do!" Charles hissed and she shifted again-a tiny movement away from him. He noticed it and grimaced, reaching his hand over the moss covered log and resting it on hers. Her hand jerked under his-she wanted to snatch it away, he knew but he curled his fingers around it and held it. They sat awkwardly on the log, an uncustomary distance between them with his hand reached over the space after capturing hers.<p>

"Just... please, Lee" he murmured-the sudden change in his voice scaring her in a different way to the booming. Vampire, she thought initially but it had no comparison to their tinkling bell like tenors.

"I..." she murmured "Maybe, we need to give him time"  
>"I need to know" Charles stated "What he meant... I need to know, Lee"<br>"I am not in charge of that" Leah whispered, wanting to grab her hand way from his, feeling inferior and weak next to him when it was undoubtedly the other way around-emotionally at least. "It's not my place..."  
>"Fine" he said coolly, squeezing her hand once before releasing it. "Fine, Leah"<p>

"Charles..." she tried but the little impulsive ways she knew on how to comfort or plead with him were gone. It felt like she was sitting next to a stranger. It felt like it wasn't just Jacob who had changed, Charles had changed too. He didn't look like Charles and what he was radiating was entirely different too.

That aggression of a wolf in concentrated quantity-and the memory of how he felt in his wolf mind under the pumping of adrenaline and she knew it was venom laced adrenaline... This made her fear his unpredictable emotions more. He had liked that high-he hadn't known what to do naturally as a new pup against Jacob-but he had liked that fighting. He wanted to fight...

"I have to talk to him"  
>"No!" she said loudly and he looked at her, raising an eyebrow just the way Jacob did.<p>

"He is... the Alpha" she explained. "You... your just going to fight, trust me"  
>"No we won't" he said never releasing his gaze from her.<p>

"You know, with Peter-Sam's son..." she whispered. "And you and Jake... you need to just establish your, uhm... hierarchy before you can just go around having little _chats_"

"I am _going_ to talk to my father" Charles said with finality.

"Good luck, then" Leah breathed, her uncertainty with her imprint dimmed with annoyance. A new mechanism that had formed between them; the powers of what they had called a 'partnership' had never been equal and she had known that she had been superior in that coalition. But ever since he had woken up from his death doze, there was no doubt that they were on equal footing and equals. Or as equal as one can get with a six foot something anger fuelled teenage man...

This mechanism brought her to her old self and it scared her because that sort of easy irritation and abrupt anger had long since been quelled under the imprint. Just as much as she knew he and Jake would not think twice about 'getting into it'; she knew she would not think twice about phasing and brawling with him if not to remind him...

Remind him she was Leah and not one of the many beings who dotted over him and tip toed around the enigmatic coat he wore on what he was. He was Charles and she was Leah... And here was the conflict-she wanted to do that, she wanted to dive back into her old phasing-temper-tantrums and at the same time she didn't know how to handle her own imprint...

It felt like she was left in a room with someone she hadn't seen in years and they had to start through slow formal conversations all over again to find an easy rhythm they once knew.

He was Charles and she was Leah and they needed to find that equilibrium once more amidst all this chaos and it wasn't going to be easy-not with Jacob and his amnesia or Renesme being in South America or whatever... not with Edward wanting to go to South America and the cherry on top being the Volturi's imminent visit and the tribe needing them to remain once more.

It wasn't going to be easy-but she was Leah and he was Charles and their partnership wouldn't disintegrate because of a few silly obstacles.

Xx~xx~xX


	21. All Those Little Moments

**ALL THOSE LITTLE MOMENTS**

**Xx~xx~xX**

_**Life sucks… and then you die.**_

_**Life sucks… and then you get amnesia. Jacob Black**_

The waves moved lethargically over the sand. Each pull was longer and each push came an inch closer to his feet. It was the same as it was in his mind, in his youth; the smoky grey picture over the lulling sea, the sky clouded and smudged dots of boats in the distance. The cliff just to the left of him stood still and quiet, the waves moving with a different aura to the ones on the thick expanse on First Beach. There on the face of the cliff, the queasy laziness that was laid out on the beach was lost; the violent roaring of the waves, vehemently trying to move the cliff face further back and wilting away at jagged rocks and underwater death traps remained instead. He heard the whistling sound of the water moving with an increased velocity there-his superior ears nimble to all the sounds around him.

He closed his eyes-they were weakened in his human form and hindered him from experiencing 'Twenty Years' away from First Beach. He let the sounds of the ocean speak to him for a moment, but they were soon drowned out by the sound of Billy's wheel cheer moving over their scarcely varnished timber floor and his rich voice calling him-begging him to wake up for the eighteenth time. He heard Billy's voice whispering over the sounds of his heavy angered breathing (he had wiped that one hot tear away angrily before it was seen) to not let this take him over, to let it go-to let Bella go. This had been way before the New Born war… when that _Leech _had returned and she had thrown him to the side like a ragdoll…

Billy was always there.

He was always there…. How was he supposed to comprehend everything if Billy wasn't there? The thought that he had gone, he had passed and he had been somewhere _other _with a leech… he left his father alone to be with a leech…

"What kind of man…." Jacob whispered to himself and then groaned, squeezing back angry hot tears and then resuming his glaring of the sea "What kind of man did this make me… this _imprint?_"

How did they expect him to accept what they were telling him, showing him… making him feel? He hadn't killed the thing; he had imprinted on it instead because his luck was so beautiful… oh, God-that replay of their memory of _his _memory of imprinting-that feeling thrown at him and how quickly he had run from it. Phasing out quickly and having a panic attack all alone in the woods; he had imprinted on Bells daughter, he had loved it… it had made him marry it and have sex with it and there was a child, a deformed child… and then it had proceeded to deform the already fucked up imprint by walking away from the family it had convinced him to give it?

"Jacob" an unfamiliar voice murmured. He had heard the soft deliberate movements over the sand, too silent in the unstable soil to be any human but the wind was not on his side to smell a scent and he had thought it was one of the pack… or just Embry or Seth. Leah…

That was another trauma altogether he had to deal with slowly.

"It's Charles" the voice stated clearly and he tensed. The voice was pleasant, smooth and gripped with a strong timbre that suggested a sort of elevation in the owner's status. It was too like a vampire's; he thought at first but then… it wasn't at all when it continued to flow. Like the bell like quality that reverberated through every vampires voice was only present for that one moment when the being spoke, like an announcing trumpet that was put away as soon as it was blown.

"You should go to Leah" he said-growled.

"I want to talk to you" the man said, standing next to him and blocking the distant sun.

"I want never gets" Jacob breathed and Charles paused, then laughed uneasily.

"Does Leah know you are here?" Jacob asked, peering up at him. The sun was behind Charles, his entire front covered in shadows, only his hair shimmering over him like a dark golden tinted bronze crown. His hair was long and obviously not maintained but something about the way it moved was too lustrous and silken in its abundant body.

"Why should she know?" Charles asked. "She isn't my babysitter"

"Isn't she?" Jacob sneered, rising from the ground and rounding on Charles "Could've fooled me, the way she interjected…"

He was about to get into it with him, that quick easy anger that wolves had, erupting so suddenly in him but when he faced him he gulped, looking away and feeling a torrent of emotions working its way up and down his body.

The man had the eyes of a boy-a young man, maybe a teenager; but one who could still contain a sort of innocence… that was the first thing he noted, making eye contact with rich wide emeralds under thick brows shaped distinctly like… like his own. By eyes of a boy, Jacob noted that a certain 'Perplexity'… an uneasiness rising from Charles eyes. Not an uneasiness or bewilderment with the outside world, but with himself.

"Recently phased?" Jacob asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"I suppose…" Charles murmured.

"Most wolves just move through the new physique" Jacob said controlled.

"Natural thing, I bet" Charles said and Jacob shrugged. "Nothing about me is natural right now" Charles said in a much softer voice, vulnerable so suddenly that it both disarmed and irritated Jacob.

"I don't want to talk to you" Jacob stated, frowning.

"You don't have to talk…" Charles whispered, looking at him-his head tilted slightly. He had always thought Jacob was tall, known it even… but standing next to this stranger, this version that seemed to know it possessed a destructive strength… he was aware that this was one of the tallest men he had ever seen.

"I don't want to hear about the future" Jacob snapped "Leah is probably going berserk being away from her young pup"

"I am not Leah's 'young pup'" Charles growled and Jacob smirked at the anger in his darkened green eyes.\

"Then… what are you?" Jacob challenged.

"Your son!" Charles hissed and Jacob frowned at him. "Look, I didn't come here to… do this… whose-going-to-be-Alpha dance…."

"Sam…" Jacob trailed of and grimaced.

"I don't care" Charles stated "I may never turn into a wolf again"

"Good luck with that" Jacob laughed, walking away from Charles, charging away from the gloomy sea to the little empty car park.

"Hey!"Charles yelled, moving quickly forward and past Jacob, blocking his way. "I am not done!"

"Well…" Jacob snarled, inching closer to Charles, radiating an aggression that Charles was still incapable of handling-already moving from Jacob's path slowly "I am done with you, run back to Leah because I don't want to deal with her bitch-act at the mome-"

Whack!

He lifted of the ground, flung with the velocity of the punch a metre away from his original position, little lights popping in the corners of his vision and his head throbbing in pleasant aches. Before he reached the ground, he snarled loud and booming through the air and by the time his body made contact with the earth-he was a giant russet wolf.

"Oh, shit" Charles gasped and the red wolf grinned, as though agreeing fully with him on the matter. He was stuck to the ground momentarily, staring into the amber orbs that seemed to grin in accordance with the pulled lips revealing an arsenal he had no chance of being bulletproof too.

Jacob took a step forward, waiting for something… waiting for him to change, he realized. But he wasn't about to do that. He looked around, cursing when his hopes of some human being in the wrong place at the wrong time were not met and looked quickly back at Jacob. He had taken another step forward and Charles was all too aware that he was much taller than a horse, double a horse it seemed and the muscles rolling under the thick coarse fur shuddered-begging to be uncoiled.

He wasn't about to wait for that.

He wasn't faster than any vampire-but e moved much faster than any human Shapeshifter regardless and it was only recently that he had mastered his sight and control when it came to velocity. Tactile wise… there would be a lot of uprooted trees and trudges by the time he got to the Manor-if Jacob looked as clumsy as he seemed in his burly fortress of a wolf body.

He sprung up in the air, twisting as Jacob missed him and running to the left, towards the trees. The sound of eager snarls and growls were serenading his desperate escape and half way through the journey, he thought Jacob was deliberately keeping a steady pace behind him and not catching him. Somewhere past the thinning trees and at the approaching denser woods, the russet wolf stopped chasing him altogether and he moved annoyed towards the Cullen Manor.

Xx~xx~xX

"You shouldn't have gone to him" Leah stated and he growled at her. She held her stance, holding his gaze until he had to look away-unable to read any secrets from her brown large eyes. Unable to stand under the spotlight of her unveiling vision without feeling like crumbling to his knees and revealing that he was really breaking apart inside…

"I told you so's?" he said loudly instead, twirling in the middle of Edward's room "Right now, you want to do '_I told you so's'?_"

"He wont ever remember" Edward said calmly and Charles scowled at him. He ignored the forever ready frown of his grandson and spoke to Leah instead "Carlisle and I discussed it…"

"Of course you did" Leah sighed "If you weren't vampires, you would be mad scientists"

"…the imprint does something to the soul; alters it-breaks all its previous bonds and redirects them through to this one thing. The imprint… so what of the all these bonds connected to the imprint? What of them, when they are set free…" Edward said, looking at the large window facing a thick wall of tall trees. "They were never allowed to mature after the imprint so they would be stuck in a sort of infancy, wouldn't they…"

"Imprint?"Charles whispered and Edward stopped, looking to Leah who shook her head slightly.

"Secrets" Charles breathed and then made a disgusted handsome expression "More of them, even now…"

"Theories" Edward smiled.

"That's all we have" Leah said coolly.

"Will you go and see Jacob?" Edward asked her and she pursed her lips hard.

"I don't see why your not going would help" Edward picked the answer from her thoughts.

"Why won't you go?" Charles asked.

"He can't be helped by anyone except himself…" Leah began ands then took in a steady breath, controlling her anger "He doesn't accept this; he doesn't want the future we are telling him he has already lived. Charles, you two are practically the same age… if what Edward theories is to be believed"

"He is a kid mentally and emotionally now…" Leah said finally "Even in his thoughts, you know… just… it's too much that I am expecting from him. That we all are"

"He is my father" Charles murmured.

"He was your father years ago…" Leah said thoughtfully "And even then, he was just a child"

"So, what…" Charles growled "You want me to just lay off because of _circumstances?_"

She sighed wearily and looked away. "I don't… know… I don't know what to do, what to say and how to handle this Charles. And there is the truth…"

"I guess that's better than non-answers" he growled, leaving them.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**JACOB BLACK**

I don't know what I had imagined meeting the boy would have been like. Shit, I hadn't imagined meeting him had I? I hadn't thought about him past 'deformed child' and 'Leah's imprint'... and even then, I made sure they were fleeting thoughts.

He was real-he wasn't just some warped image from the visuals I had picked up from the other wolves like Isabella's daughter. He had a scent, he had a voice and he had a presence. He had a face and I could see so easily were I was in those features behind a freaky human Edward-look-alike with a tan and green eyes.

He was real, which meant it was all real-every occurrence that they had told me about. What was I suppose to feel? Was there supposed to be some grand life changing tugging emotion that would bring me to my knees?

The only life changing tugging emotion that was weighing heavily on me was the loss of my father...

"More?" Rachel asked. I nodded and she served more lasagne, smiling softly while she did it before moving to Billy Junior seated silently beside me. He was no were near my build but he was a man in his Shapeshifter boyhood and he was my nephew and my sister's child... My sister who had greying hair and laugh lines...

"So Sam is going through the motions as best as he can" Paul murmured dropping the newspaper to the side and looking at me. He looked like a man, like someone's father who deserved respect sitting there where _my father _once sat.

He was someone's Father and a man, and as grating as it was to look upon this very man I had once gotten into many useless fights with and realise the fact-he did deserve respect. But did he have to deserve it sitting _in Billy's chair..._ (The fact that Billy had been unable to sit in the chair for a good thirteen years, twenty years ago was irrelevant...)

"Billy and Peter are getting their training from Embry" Paul murmured, not looking at me and pushing up his glasses-he wore reading glasses now, how quaint and mature-up his nose and taking a sip of his glass of milk.

"So you didn't bother to get your own house" I said behind the loaded fork, glaring at my filled to capacity plate. Rachel stiffened and instinctually looked to Paul while Billy glared at me from opposite me on the dinner table.

"We did" Paul stated and continued calmly "Sam talks them through some of the finer detail, but Embry isn't really up to it... you know..."  
>"As leader" I finished and Paul sighed.<p>

"Yes, as leader" he said "Seth helps, they do pretty well together"  
>"Why doesn't Leah help" I growled, this anger I had at Leah so irrational and unfathomable past her witnessing the self destruction that was my fucked up mystery imprint life. "I hear she is pretty formidable these days"<br>"She is busy with Edward, Alice and Carlisle" Paul said.

"Busy doing doggy tricks for her imprint?" I said softly.

"Yeah, doggy tricks for your son" Paul said with the same measure of patience, ignoring me completely when I crushed the glass of milk in my hand and sent white liquid over my food-startling Rachel and causing Billy to go deathly still with anticipation.

"He won't phase, Billy" Paul said smiling at his son. "You can relax"

"...if you have a house, then why don't I have my father's house to myself" I growled.

"We had to come back from our house to care for Dad" Rachel whispered but I didn't look at her, choosing instead to have a stare-off with my _nephew_ "...by the time we had to leave, Billy was obviously a wolf and... well..."  
>"We can go and stay in a motel, if it will calm you Jacob" Paul said-that fucking irritating patience dripping in his voice.<p>

"I am calm"

"You're behaving like a new pup" he said.

"I woke up from a coma with the last twenty years of my life wiped out, how do you want me to behave?"  
>"Leah won't let Charles come up for training with us..." Paul said suddenly and I paused my shooing of Rachel's fussing over the spilt milk to stare at him blankly.<p>

"Okay" was all I said.

"He needs to train and from what I gather… there is still mystery behind him phasing. She hasn't said anything about it... and to top it of..." Paul said quickly, voice level and eyes serious in their wrinkled encasing. "She is busy with securing the check points with the Cullen's... We will not be moving past our territory with patrols to help with that and well, she is being a Samaritan about it and double-working with the vampires"  
>"Whatever, then"<br>"Jacob..." he warned.

"What do you want from me, Paul?" I sighed. "If he wants to train, then he will come..."  
>"Get him to come"<br>"He said he isn't phasing, and from what I saw..." I said tensely "He doesn't need to phase to..."

"To what?" Paul urged, and I was all too aware they were all waiting on me to elaborate. It seemed that Leah's imprint was a topic shrouded in mystery in the tribe. He hadn't been on Quileute land since he had arrived; he had changed drastically in a short space of time but had managed to not phase and then there was the matter that he had apparently 'Died'...

"He is... not human" I said dumbly.

"Established that long ago what with his father being a wolf and mother a half-vampire being" Paul said this time annoyance in his eyes. "What did you see?"

"He ran fast" I said. "I couldn't catch him"

"Why were you trying to catch him?" Rachel asked. "What had happened?"

"I was... chasing him" I said Rachel's gaze narrowing into suspicion.

"You were chasing him were?" she demanded. "Of the lands"

I scooped more lasagne up, not caring that it was strained with milk and filled my mouth.

"Jacob Black" Rachel said slowly "Did you chase your son of the Reservation?!"  
>"The point here is he was fast enough to evade a wolf" I diverted, keeping my gaze safely on Paul's amused face. "I mean, I wasn't going to do anything... just scare him of. He was hovering and looking all lost and confused and..."<p>

"Kind of how lost and confused you probably looked" Rachel said. "Wondering what you are going to do now that Dad is gone?"  
>"Well, yeah..." I mumbled.<p>

"Poor Charles" Paul said and it was so obvious that phasing or not, that imprint-telepathy was working over time between him and Rachel "Lost and confused and wondering what he is going to do now that his Dad is gone"  
>"Wait" Rachel paused, placing a finger on her chin "His Dad isn't gone... just acting like the biggest jerk on the Reservation"<p>

"This family is weird" Billy sighed after everyone went quiet.

"You have no idea" I whispered.

Xx~xx~xX

Two days ago, all I had been about was loving Isabella Swan and trying to make her see that the being she was giving herself to, was a monster of the highest grade. That I was her natural choice, that she should be human and that she should live.

And I had fallen asleep and woken up to some fucked up alternate world were vampires could have babies and my father was gone.

"…so you see how easier it is to hunt if you don't think about it" Embry murmured, patting Peter on the back. Sam was just of, sitting patiently on a rock with a can of beer in hand-his gaze fleeting from his son to me; proud and wary.

"Just lose your self to nature" Seth continued, skipping through the woods after Embry and Peter, Billy grudgingly in tow "The wolf will do everything else"

"Jake is actually a master hunter" Bradley said and I looked away from them. I was careful to be alone as a wolf. I remembered the technicalities that had followed a few days ago-or to them a few decades ago-when I had left Sam's pack. They would be _drawn_ to following me or _whatever_… I didn't want that. That sense of responsibility…

Seth made a beeline towards me and before he could reach me, I walked of towards the light grey Honda that Rachel had allowed me to drive-with my being forty or something and not just under sixteen and all. I had been scared to ask until she chucked my wallet in my hands and I had taken out my driver's license.

"Jake… come on!" Seth called and I groaned. I still liked him-he had stopped looking like a little kid, naturally and that carefree sunshine he used to exude was limited and squashed by this new slight brooding tenor-but he was still undeniably Seth.

"I seriously don't feel like talking about feelings" I muttered, he leaned on my drivers door casually-like he wasn't attempting to stop me from entering the car and just driving of.

"Who said I want to talk about feelings?"

"You used to be really good at that"

"Well…" he looked away briefly, a grey veil covering the light of his eyes momentarily and his lips tugging down before he looked at me seriously, determined "Feelings got me in a lot of trouble over the years and I approach them carefully"  
>"Well…" I breathed, leaning on the car beside him and adopting his folded-arms-over-chest pose "Let me warn you that the same can be said about my feelings"<br>"Two grown men talking about feelings" that was Leah's voice and I couldn't control the grimace that was working on my face "How sweet"

I tensed and Seth shuffled uneasily-unsure on whether he wanted to just let me have my getaway or risk having his ass chewed. I realized that the little seating area by the forest trees had cleared-Billy had gone home and Peter had left with his… father.

"Hello Jacob" Leah said coming to the side of the car were I stood with Seth.

"Hmm" I grunted, looking away from her.

"'Name is Leah Clearwater" she stuck out her hand in front of me for me to shake "I believe you met my sister, Medusa-in the not so distant past. I assure you, her and I have nothing in common except for a great ass… and you won't turn into a cold statue, also known as a vampire, if you acknowledge me"

"What do you want from me!" I yelled, flinging my hands up so suddenly, Seth jumped. "You Clearwater's, seriously! I should put a restraining order!"

"I am not here to tell you what to do" Leah said calmly and I finally did look at her. I don't know what I had feared… or maybe I did. No, I was more certain I did know what I feared.

The last thing I knew about her, the last memory that was so recent I could still feel the feelings swirling inside of me when I made contact with her large brown eyes-a very different brown from Bella's-and looked quickly away. That last thing I knew was that she and I had formed a comradeship that had made me blushed very distinctly once and now she was here, imprinted to my _son_…

"I don't handle being commanded very well" I said

"I wonder why" she frowned her side-frown and cocked an eyebrow up "Must be something in your blood?"  
>"I thought you weren't telling me what to do, Clearwater" I growled at her and she grinned.<p>

"I have a question?" Seth said but Leah and I didn't bother looking at him. This was as easy as falling, our understanding of each other and I regretted being an idiot about it and staying away…

"Spit it out already" Leah said.

"Why is it you call Leah by our last name and not me?" he complained. "I am the guy here, I should be referred to as 'Clearwater'"

"Moving along from little Sethie's ego problems" Leah said "I am not telling you what to do, if it feels that way… its probably because you know what you have to do"

"I am not being Alpha"

"Too late for that, Ephraim Black's heir" she said smugly. "Must be hard moving around alone…"  
>"No, actually… it's rather peaceful" I said.<p>

"So when are you going to hold a pack meeting" she asked suddenly.

"Hey!" I growled.

"Tomorrow?" she said "Great… that works just fine because I am kind of busy patrolling Cullen territory and trying to keep a certain young Mr. Black from acting-out all over the place because his parents are such douches and not wandering straight into Jane's pretty little claws"

"What…?"  
>"Don't you know?" she asked. "The Volturi… they are scheduled to visit to make sure Charles is dead"<br>"The Vulture's?…what?" I said dumbly and then remembered something from the battle with the new born when the plan had been to clear immediately "Those Royal Leeches? But… he isn't dead? He has a heart beat…?"

"Well, he isn't supposed to in their books" she sighed walking away into the forest. "And on top of that, they want to annihilate our little tribe, or so we suspect… you have your work cut out for you Alpha"

"I am not…"  
>"Not this again" Seth grinning at Leah's rather impressive talents "So will I be Beta this time?"<p>

"No" I said softly, still staring at the spot were Leah had disappeared into the trees.

"Why is it always Leah!?" he whined.

"She is nicer to look at" I answered automatically-picking that memory of this alternate day so easily.

Xx~xx~xX

"So I raised him?" I asked Embry.

"Well…" he looked at Seth "Mostly"

"What do you mean 'mostly'?" I asked. "Was I a bad… father?"

"Well…" Embry murmured sheepishly again "Mostly"  
>"Oh, come on… it wasn't really your fault Jake!" Quil shouted shoving aggressively at an immovable Embry who gave him a 'what the fuck are you doing?' look. "It was that <em>Nesstiness<em>"  
>"What?" I asked confused-looking at Seth who was somehow more mature than an aging Quil.<p>

"It wasn't really…" Seth began and Quil groaned theatrically, leaning back into the rusty couch of my little worn down garage.

"Don't be a fucking diplomat about this" Quil said stonily "It was all on her"  
>"She is a vampire, isn't she?" I said frowning "What do vampires know about…"<p>

Blondie. Blondie and Bella's pregnancy-how she had cooed and hovered over a thin skeleton-like Bella.

"She was a kid" Seth stated and I snapped out of my reverie, realizing that the math wasn't adding up at all. Twenty years or so, a sixteen year old boy plus those other years… then that would mean I had had him when I was… what, twenty six or four but that would have made Bella's daughter…

"Oh, shit… she was a kid!" I roared, rising from the chair and fisting my hair "I raped her! Oh, fuck… I am a pedophile… no wonder he is so messed up! I am the most fucked up individual…"

"No Jake, calm down…"Seth whispered "You have it wrong"  
>"No wonder she left him, no wonder she left me… no wonder she pulled on the imprint!"<br>"Jake, calm down buddy" Embry murmured "It isn't like that, remember what I showed you… she grew fast?"

"Fast?" I repeated blankly "She was eight!"

"She was eighteen" Seth said. "And her body stops changing and she wanted a family before that"

"And somehow, you think that's normal?" I asked him and he shrugged his shoulders and mouthed 'half-vampire logics'.

"It…" I had wanted to blame this anonymous being I had imprinted on for _everything_, I had thought I could… but it was so… Fragmented! "Whose fault is it?"  
>"No one Jake" Seth said patiently, pulling me back down onto the seat "No one could have ever known, Jake"<p>

"But venom?" I spluttered "The boy…"  
>"Charles" Seth corrected.<p>

"Venom is poisonous to us" I said.

"It hurts him" Seth explained "Phasing hurts him because of that"

Some of the pieces clicked into place at that; how he said he wouldn't be phasing and that air of guardedness about him-past the fact that he had been dealing with a volatile me. He seemed so fortified, so many barriers…

I sat still and they left me in my quiet; talking about other things immediately.

This mystery being I had helped to create past the laws of Quileute wolves being deathly allergic to venom. He had no one; his mother had left him-left us both-and Leah had to come in and salvage what was left of that disaster. I had… I didn't need to relive it to know what having one's imprint forsake you could do to a wolf. There was no way I was a functioning anything after that… a cabbage on the couch beside him was probably a better description and I Leah hadn't been there, if she hadn't imprinted on him…

We may both not be here.

I didn't know him and even realizing some of the many missing pieces of what could only be _his time_ with an imprinted Jacob didn't change that fact. He was still a stranger in a lot of ways but he was a stranger who looked like me.

I had Billy when my mother had died. I had had Billy when Rachel and Rebecca had left. I had had Billy when Bella had broken my heart countless times. I had had Billy when I was phasing. I had had Billy and this feeling that was stuck in my gut at the thought that I wasn't ever going to hear his wheelchair rolling over the wood or his voice calling me to go fishing…

I couldn't just ignore it, just put it down that he had Leah… he had come to me at First Beach for a reason.

He had his imprint; but he had no parents. I felt like I had orphaned him somehow, not remembering. Had I even tried when I was… the old me, or was it the future me? I hoped I tried, I hoped desperately that my not running after this… half-vampire woman was a sign of that.

"I am going for a run" I sighed and they paused their chattering.

"Okay" Seth murmured.

"Just make sure you don't end up in Canada" Embry warned and I punched his arm playfully, skipping over their legs and into the cold air of the outside. The forest stared at me as I approached it, guilt swimming freely in my veins as I ran towards it and phased.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

It had the remnants of beauty etched all around it; the clearing well constructed into a circle and the boulders and trees placed in deliberate tranquility. It was a meadow, really but the green grass grew a little too long, moving past his knees and the wild flowers now mingles with weeds freely. He moved slowly over the boulders, climbing up the rock and placing his foot deliberately into the hidden crevices. When he was up, he dusted his palms lightly and stood still on the height of the giant rock and stared out. The trees blocked any chance he would have of seeing past the meadow and he sighed, sitting down petulantly and folding his legs neatly below him.

This wasn't so much out of the territory, he thought. He was in their patrolling circle. Sitting in the house waiting on Leah to stop being so goddamned stressed about stuff, Edward was going into deep-thought mode and stressing about this South America thing and Carlisle and Esme of course got tense with everyone else's stress and then it just rippled and spread out and he had too much to deal with to be affected by all that.

"Is she really busy" Charles scoffed, pocking at the rough surface of the top of the boulder in wonder; marveling at how his nail was hard enough for him to chisel away fragments of the rock. "Busy doing what…"

"Keeping me out" a soft ringing voice murmured ahead of him and he froze, not raising his head to look at the source of the voice. "She must have indulged her imprint then; there were fewer of them today and I managed to slip in"

His heart stuttered and then revved up; pounding furiously and his skin heated up. A sheen of sweat formed over his forehead. He still didn't look up at the looming still figure further down the clearing from the height of his position.

"Charles?" she said his name in a scolding "Didn't that Bitch teach you any manners?"

He snapped his head up immediately; a growl reverberating from his chest through his throat and out. His momentarily scowl was washed away by terror when he met a pair of blood eyes, a soft smile playing in them.

"Hello sweetie" Isabella said "So nice to see you again… alive"

He stared at her blankly, his frame shuddering with each frantic punch his heart gave.

"You have grown, haven't you" she moved forward and he followed the ghosting motion easily. She saw this and smiled softly "My, you have grown so much! How beautiful you are!"

"Have you…" he stammered and a little voice told him he really shouldn't be stammering, but he couldn't help it. Her eyes were so red; crimson liquid swimming around a hateful black stone "Come to… visit, Grandma?"

"I haven't come to visit _you_" she stated gazing up at him thoughtfully "My visit here had nothing to do with you; it had everything to do with capturing a rare litter of puppies"  
>"What?" he asked her softly.<p>

She frowned sadly, still beautiful in the motion and gazed up at him with fake despair "Jane is the one… who had been sent to 'visit' you."

"Visit?" he asked her.

"As much as I would love to indulge Aro" Bella murmured smiling a little and taking a step forward "I am _duty-bound_ to do other things"

"Bella?" Edward murmured entering the clearing too. "Isabella?"

"Edward" she frowned then, viciously twisting her stone features and turned towards Edward. Charles looked quickly between the two of them-there was a great distance between them and they may not realize like he did that all three of them shouldn't be able to hear them by all natural circumstances.

"Bella?" Edward said again, leaving the shadows of he circling trees.

"I have stayed too long it seems" Bella murmured, casting Charles a longing look "I have to go"

"Why did you come… here…" Edward asked slowly, walking tentatively towards her "To this place; to our meadow?"

"Don't indulge yourself in such hopeful thoughts, Edward" she sneered cocking her head up to Charles form on the boulder "I followed _his_ scent"  
>"Stay a while longer?" Edward pressed and she looked up at Charles again, contemplating something.<p>

"I do miss my grandson" she murmured and Edward smiles slightly "But maybe I can take him back with me"

"Wh…?" Edward breathed but he was caught of guard, Bella flinging herself at him like a torpedo and launching him of his feet and into the trees. Charles saw the fuzzy canopy of leaves start and a few feet of thickness abscond the air as trees fell.

She hissed at the unseen form of Edward metres inside the forest and snapped her head at him in a very predator like manor. He gasped, locking with crimson slits and struggled up, moving of the boulder. The air was moving with too much velocity behind him and he panicked, unable to fully figure his balance out and rammed into the side of another boulder.

"Never!" Edward hissed from somewhere behind the boulder he had been sitting on top of.

"If you do not release me, I _will hurt you!" _Bella roared and he heard a sick screeching sound. "I will hurt you Edward…"  
>"Bella!" Edward begged and Charles rose up, ignoring the bulbs of light smashing in his head and stumbled from behind the boulder, glancing briefly at a mass of rubble from where he had collided.<p>

"Think of this as payback…"Isabella murmured as Charles emerged from the rock formation "For you making me _loose my head_ when you left me, all those years ago… and making me fall for a Dog"

She had her knee pressed hard on the middle of his back were he kneeled in the ground, her one hand gripping his left hand hard and tugging so sadistically in the opposite direction of his body that each second that passed, the air was filled with that sick screeching sound as Edward's arm was slowly being ripped of. Her other hand was cupping his head, under his chin and pulling with as much evil glee-ignoring his flailing right hand trying to stop her.

"You weren't kidding about how much stronger a vampire is on a diet of _human"_ she whispered almost lovingly to him.

Charles rushed at her, ignoring his fear and the shuddering erupting in him-the heat clawing at his spine and she momentarily let go of Edward's hand but he didn't see the calculation in the act-her hand meeting his charging form with a slight slap that sent him flying across the meadow and back into the boulder. He whammed into it hard, groaning as pain flew threw his back and crumpled to the ground-the boulder fissuring in the middle beside him and splitting in half.

"Charles!" Edward breathed struggling to free his other hand and then opting to push against Isabella who stumbled two steps backward before righting her stance and gripping both of his arms instead.

"Charles!" Edward called "Get up, get up… run!"  
>"…these arms that used to hold me so tight but never managed to keep me warm and safe" Bella murmured and Edward's arms were pulled in opposite directions, his growls filling the air. "Let's be done with this…"<p>

He squinted his eyes open, trying to stay focused and to command his limbs to run-to run _towards _her and save his grandfather, friend and the man who had been his father for so long now but the pain was splitting him open.

"Ed… Edward?" he managed and Edward groaned in pain, flinging his head back and teeth clenching with a resounding snap.

"Oh, God…" Edward breathed strained staring up at Isabella; she smiled sadly at him "Oh, Heavens… I have never been happier to hear your thoughts on my Isabella, Dog"

The russet wolf bound out of the trees, hesitating for a second when it met Isabella's eyes then shaking its head and resuming its juggernaut attack. It caught her in it's muzzle but she twisted out of its mouth when its jaws didn't clench her in place. It was unwilling to hurt her… she kicked it in the ribs and it whimpered, casting a slowly rising Charles one last desperate look before realizing she was outnumbered with a fast healing Edward rising from the ground.

"I'll let Jane handle this after all" she murmured and disappeared into the shadows of the woods.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"So she became a vampire?" Jacob asked and Edward nodded once, still not moving away from the picture window-still staring into the darkness. "And… the child…"  
>"Renesme" Rosalie growled and Jacob frowned.<p>

"Okay, Renesme… what a messed up name…" Jacob muttered "She went of with another one of her kind"  
>"You knew this already from Seth and Embry's mind" Edward said stonily<p>

"I want to hear it from you" Jacob said.

"She went of with him" Edward said "Yes, he is Joham's son"  
>"Joham…. The guy Isabella left you for?" Jacob asked "The pack doesn't really know this piece of detail"<p>

"Yes"

"Joham who has a fetish for supernatural beings?" Jacob asked and Edward said yes again. "Uh, Charles?"

"Yes?" Charles said eagerly, leaning away from Leah's hovering hand on his slightly bruised head.

"What was that comment about puppies?" Jacob asked.

"She wants puppies?" Charles said. "I don't know… a rare litter? Are there rare dogs here or…"  
>He paused, the words making sense finally "Or giant wolves" Charles finished.<p>

"That bitch" Leah growled, poking the red flesh of Charles back and Charles flinched.

"He will heal soon, Leah" Carlisle assured her and she frowned skeptically.

"Yeah well, healing or no healing… she is still a bitch" Leah growled "Didn't I tell you Jacob, hmm? Didn't I tell you that Pale Face was too much trouble for her worth… and now she is a Pale Faced Vampire Bitch"  
>"What did I tell you about 'I told you so's', Clearwater" Jacob growled and she huffed, throwing a blanket over Charles shoulders.<p>

He ignored Charles insistent staring at him and opted to look around the odd group who were just as oddly comfortable with each other. Embry stood by the door-an easy sign that he wasn't all too prepared to delve deeper into the vampire house, and Seth sat beside Jasper freely.

"This isn't the Bella I know" Jacob murmured.

"Welcome to my world" Edward breathed. "If only I could hear her thoughts then I would know why this is happening…"

"If only you could hear her thoughts then we wouldn't be in this predicament ever" Rosalie sighed.

"If you could hear her thoughts…"Charles said thoughtfully, watching as Leah got up after being certain he was okay and moved to the opposite side of the room "Then I wouldn't be here"

"I couldn't hurt her" Edward whispered "Not even when my life depended on it"  
>Jacob Black remembered the words he had told Isabella many years ago with such clarity and realized how rash he had been-if she was a vampire then she was as good as dead to him. If it hadn't been for those red eyes, Edward would have lost both his arms because for a moment, he thought he had his best friend back. For a moment he thought it was all one big misunderstanding.<p>

It feels like he had been living a moment, recently. A moment for life.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**This might be very, very long. It may even end up having a sequel if my imagination is anything to go by. But we are still a long way from that, so no worries. The support you all give me with this fic is amazing and I thank you for that!**

**And again; your thoughts on things are greatly appreciated, suggestions and criticism.**

**Till next time**

**Tj**


	22. When I Grow Up

**CHARLES BLACK**

Xx~xx~xX

**WHEN I GROW UP**

"Argh!" I stumbled backwards into the bathtub and chipped the hard clay of it, knocking the shower door and cracking the glass. Immediately there were two sets of shadows beneath the door.

"Charles?" Esme called softly "Are you okay honey?"  
>"Uhm..." I breathed, walking hesitantly back to the mirror "I am fine. Just fine"<p>

"Okay..." Rosalie said "Breakfast is ready and... Jacob is here with his side kicks"

I stared at the man in the mirror, listening to their quiet departure back downstairs and tried to still my heart. He was here... how stupid of me to be excited that my Dad was here. I was sixteen for crying out loud and he didn't even remember having me. He didn't even remember that he was forty something and liked beer and sitting around... He was sixteen like me... a _kid_. How strange it all was; he looked the same, he was Jacob without a doubt but there were these little distinct differences. His eyes were wider somehow and had this light in them-that youthful gleam of energy I suppose, that all the vampires lacked. I guess that was one sure way of telling an immortal soul in a young body-the eyes and set of the lips. He was sixteen, Alpha and... _Cool_.

My dad was cool, how dorky did that make me?! Could I call him Dad, did he want to be called Dad...? He didn't want to be here, he avoided it at all cost and he was here... that meant he did want to see me I guess. He wanted to see _me_...

The bearded man grinned at me goofily and I quickly frowned at his quirky expression, he frowned back too. I touched my jaw and his hand went up too. We simultaneously touched the darker version of red-brown together and frowned. I was more than certain that my chin had become hairy way too fast...

I opened the medicine cabinet hastily; I had to get rid of the thing. I had lived with my vampire family long enough to know what such a drastic change in appearance would garner from them. There was a whole shelve on men's toiletries like Alice had promised me when I was still normal and sweating like any teenage boy. If there was one way humans had a sporting chance of putting off a vampire... _strong body odour _(Rosalie had joked that was why it was always young maidens being scooped up by Dracula rather than lumpy forty something year old men with beer guts-or Sam, as Leah had snorted). In fact, I noticed vampires had no tolerance for anything remotely unhygienic... it was always wash your hair, Charles. Or 'Morning Breath, if I was telepathic I would tell you to shut up and talk with your thoughts'. It didn't take much to imagine how things get when 'Nature Called' and air fresheners were two minutes away...

No blades in the men's section but there were pink ones next to tampons. Tampon's...? Alice Cullen, shopping for things she didn't need and that managed to embarrass everyone else thoroughly...

"Ouch!" a little red line formed and I quickly wiped the blood with a square tissue sheet. Five minutes later and several 'ouchie's' and I had sort of rid my whole jaw of hair. The cuts were healing before my eyes and one particular savage looking gash below my jaw knit itself painfully. Unluckily, my skin wasn't hard 'all of the time'. Adrenaline had _everything_ to do with it...

There were still tuffs of hair lingering but I thought that might be my eyesight making them look so bad. If I was human I probably wouldn't notice... if I was human I wouldn't have woken up looking like a red-haired Santa Claus...

My hair was so long it was just past my shoulders and it looked distinctly bronze today, the roots remained black though.

"So freaking weird!" I groaned and I heard the soft chatter pause downstairs momentarily before someone-Rosalie-muttered 'Teenagers'. Like she was thirty or something-very rich of her, we were all teenagers by all accounts. Esme was the oldest, actually. Carlisle, twenty three... seriously? I read somewhere that men only stop growing naturally at twenty four...

I drew up a section of my hair between my fingers and lifted it up a good few inches so the roots were perpendicular on my scalp. Definitely black-the colour fading into the dark bronze smoothly till the ends were lighter... why black though, then shouldn't all my hair be black if my roots are coming out black... The bronze wasn't normal in the middle section anyway, were it was darker and shiny. Metallic. Like Edward...

"Freaky" I said absently, letting the hair fall back. I took the brush and smoothed it all (when I was human I didn't have so much hair heating my brain up, Argh). I smoothed it all into a pony and tied it into the purple scrunch (I couldn't find a more manly coloured hair tie and had to choose between lilac and pink) and then doubled the still too long pony into a weird bun.

My jaw was almost healed so I rid myself of the remaining microscopic facial hair shrubs. And with a heavy sigh, I braved the man in the mirror once more...

Startling green eyes met me, a shocked expression in them and thick black eyebrows -my eyebrows had definitely turned black from bronze, and there was no doubting that- arched over them. My skin was smooth and was barely noticeable as russet in its honey caramel colour...

"Shit, I am pretty now!" I groaned in frustration, touching my now smooth jaw. "I should've left the beard... Argh!"  
>"You better not be having 'Happy Time' in there, Charles!" Jasper drawled and I froze, watching the red easy blotching of my cheeks in the mirror "We are vampires and all, and we do try and give privacy but..."<br>"I am not doing anything like that!" I hissed "I will be out, can I not have my own morning routine without ten thousand questions and ears listening to my every movement?"  
>"Once you turn eighteen, kid" this was Leah.<p>

"Well, you know what..." I said sardonically, opening the bathroom door aggressively-she was standing in the hallway, leaning on the wall casually-the epitome of bad ass wolf chick "I'd say I am older than all of you here!"

"He's got quite the temper" Jacob said from somewhere downstairs and Leah chuckled.

"Can't be from my side of the family" Jacob said stiffly.

"Because you are the Ambassador of Patience?" that was Edward.

"Well..."was all Jacob said and then Edward groaned, almost in pain.

"Were you shaving?" Leah asked following me into Edward's room.

"Yeah" I murmured, sourcing through a neatly piled stack of shirts-that I was sure was an untidy miniature mountain before I had gone to the bathroom-and bringing the organisation skills of Edward crumbling down to a lump of cotton. "How..."

"You got a scab on your... uhm..." she reached her hand tentatively under my jaw and I froze, her hot fingers grazing the skin there lightly and causing electricity to spike from there and weave through me... and only the after sensation of throbbing pain from the still healing skin interrupted the nervous tingling there and saved me from spluttering and blushing like the awkward idiot I remained in this body.

She yanked her hand back suddenly-startling me, as though she too had been electrocuted and smiled sheepishly her hand clutched to her chest like I had injured it.

"Uhm, why didn't you get someone to... teach you?" she asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Who exactly?" I sighed, reaching for the hem of the stained shirt I had on-I had snapped a pen while writing and gotten ink on it thanks to my lack of tactile senses. The doodle I had been working on was thoroughly ruined... "Everyone here..."

I paused, lifting the shirt of my body from the hem and up, feeling the fabric rub on my skin with what Carlisle had explain to be 'Preternatural Sensitivity' (Skin may be durable but it was overly sensitive). I tried to angle my head so that the slower healing deep cut under my jaw wasn't assaulted and shrugged my arms out of the short sleeves before releasing my head and tossing the shirt back onto the shirt pile.

"Everyone here has either never shaved before or doesn't remember such 'Human Nuisance" I sighed and she blinked at me dumbly. "What, you know how to shave?"

"I wasn't... no, never mind" she mumbled, concentrating particularly hard on the destroyed tower of T-shirt's Edward had constructed and picking at the one I had removed. "Aren't these clean?"  
>"Yeah?"<p>

"Then why did you dump this one here?" she asked holding the pale yellow t-shirt up with two fingers like it was radioactive.

"Because I can" I grinned at her and she pursed her lips tightly-controlled.

"You have no excuse for walking around half-naked since your not that hot..." she paused and spluttered "I mean, not hot...like a wolf, your temperature...! Put a shirt on!"

"Uh..." my mouth remained open as I watched her run out the room and slam the door shut.

"I was still in the process of getting 'dressed', Clearwater" I muttered to myself, picking a green shirt from underneath everything. "Silly Teenage Super-freaks..."

Xx~xx~xX

He was sitting tensely on the marble island with a huge plate laid with giant cinnamon buns. Edward stood opposite him, his arms crossed over his chest and an irritated expression on his face.

"Morning" I said softly and Edward huffed while Jacob paused his eating to look at me.

"Charles" Jacob said swallowing the food quickly. "You look different..."

"Uhm..."  
>"He looks different" Jacob said to Edward-only somehow it sounded accusing, like Edward had been the one to bring about the change (which I suppose was sort of true...)<p>

"Hmm" was all Edward let out and Jacob frowned at him.

"What's going on?" I asked and Edward sighed and gave Jacob a pointed look.

"Leah was..." Jacob began and Leah yelled from the dining to for him to be 'an Alpha' about this and Jacob groaned. "I mean, I was wondering... if you would like to come over to... my... it's not my house I mean, it is everyone's house. Just not... not everyone like _Edward_ and random..."  
>"Are you asking me out?" I grinned at him and his eyes went wide momentarily before he returned the grin, Edward coughing out a reluctant laugh.<p>

"Uh..." Jacob nodded his head "There is a Bon Fire and well, you haven't been to one"  
>"I have" I said quickly and Jacob frowned a little "I mean, you weren't there you were... and uhm, I have been, anyway. I was little and Claire was a moody teenager" I don't know why I included that... but something about it always fascinated me.<br>"Right, well... funny thing; Quil and Claire are engaged and it's really for them and the new... pups" he replied, placing his half eaten Cinnamon bun back on the platter-because in the end, it really was a platter of about fifteen giant Cinnamon buns that I bet Esme had given him.

If I was still human, I would be round by now.

"And you" Jacob said quickly, looking at me with a sort of pleading look "I mean, you phased and... it was actually a really good phase considering it was your first I understand?"  
>"Uhm, phasing and dying straight after has to be the worst sort of phase so... it doesn't really count, I guess" I watched as Edward ghosted out of the kitchen, leaving Jacob and I and this third element called 'Awkward' with us.<p>

"Yeah" Jacob said a little roughly "Dying, huh..."  
>There was silence. He picked up a bun and bit into it and filled his mouth with Cinnamon. I watched him chew slowly and then thought it was a bit rude to stare at someone eating so I opted to look at the dented refrigerator-when were they going to get a new one, or did they consider this an artefact now...?<p>

"Howdy" Jasper entered the kitchen and walked past us "'was outside in the garage and then thought I would lend a helping hand to this dismal of atmospheres..."

"Vampire..." Jacob said tersely, watching Jasper move past him on the other side of the island suspiciously and I laughed. He smiled at me nervously and rose from his seat, following me to the lounge were _everyone _sat pretending they couldn't hear all the way into the kitchen and beyond.

"He wanted to bite my hand of last year" Jacob explained and I frowned, Jasper shouting a 'What?' as we entered "I mean... years ago, not last year"  
>"What?" I stared at him.<p>

"I was blocking the small one..." he explained and Edward sighed. "Okay fine, the _Pixie_..."

"You know our names, Bella told you" Edward said wearily, rolling his eyes. "Trust a Minority Member to be an expert at prejudice..."

"And I prefer to be called a Fairy, if you are going to be giving nicknames!" Alice growled and added thoughtfully "Something like 'Fairy Fashionista' or..."

"I think 'Fairy' is reserved for Seth and Edward" Leah said thoughtfully and Rosalie laughed.

Jacob watched all of this with wide eyes; the knobs turning in his mind clearly that this here, before him with Seth, Embry and Emmett hovering over the giant television and Carlisle and Esme standing over a particularly old book by the table and everyone else taking possession of the couches-this here was a family on its own accord.

"Uh, yeah..." I murmured, deciding to sit on the large bean bag and giving Jacob the option of sitting beside me or next to Leah on the couch. He stood confused for a moment; watching Emmett keep the remote easily away from a whining Seth and growling Embry (who was pouting), and then looking at Leah in obvious disbelief as she allowed Rosalie to criticize her self-cut hair and then back at me in a sort of slow settling relaxation.

"Scoot over kid" he growled, shoving me over anyway-I let him, I was surprised that his strength _almost _matched mine but I wasn't about to start an 'Alpha War' on the couch about it. He sighed as he settled down and breathed "Never in a million years..."  
>"Give it time" I chuckled to him "<em>We<em> can _get_ to a million with patience"

Xx~xx~xX

"So they are getting training and well..." Jacob said in between glances at the never ending expanse of sea "If you want to join..."  
>"Phasing hurts" I said with finality and he sighed, chucking a black smooth rock out to the ocean.<p>

"Like a small twinge or is it..."  
>"It's venom" I murmured. "Venom hurts"<p>

It was a sensitive topic since I had woken up from death. He sighed and nodded in understanding and I folded my arms self consciously. He had to understand I wanted to know about it all; the power of being a wolf, biting into things with dagger teeth and fighting with the fuel of instinct...

But the pain...

"It hurt a little for me too" Jacob whispered to me "My phasing after I woke up"

"Oh" I murmured and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, well... my first time didn't hurt" he said quickly "It really isn't a pain, per say... just... your bones are breaking and you know it should hurt so I guess if you don't know about the wolf gene your mind will fill in the blanks of pain for you"

"I am certain this is a pain" I said tersely.

"Or maybe you are holding on to the first time you felt the pain" he said looking at me closely "Your mind is filling in the emotion before it plays out"

"It isn't black and white" I sighed. "It hurts... not a little bit or imagined. It hurts"

The implication that I was being a baby about it... I wasn't being a baby about it! This wasn't some twinge one gets when you knock against something really hard or...

"You're over thinking it, Charles" he said in a hollow faraway voice and threw the last rock with too much force out to the waters pulling over First Beach. It skipped violently a good few metres out.

"Why were you surprised that Leah gets on with us?" I asked him suddenly and he stopped walking.

"You know about the natural animosity between Werewolves and Vampires" he said in a detached voice, the frown never leaving his face.

"Yeah, but... you are Shapeshifter's"  
>"Shape...?" he raised an eyebrow prominently up and pursed his lips. "Try and stick to what Quileutes tell you about our history and not <em>them<em>"

"Look, Leah hated their guts..."Jacob said in one breathe "They are the reason we phase, Charles. You know that right?"  
>"Yeah, but..."<br>"Do you think Leah likes being the only female wolf?" he asked me severely and I stared at him blankly.

"I hadn't really thought..."  
>"You need to <em>think!<em>" he said stonily "First and foremost you need to think past yourself and expand towards your imprint!"

"Imp..." I began but he went into a full on rant.

"Do you think Leah wants to be a wolf?!" he demanded and I took two steps back from him in confusion.

"I don't know?"

"She could have stopped phasing, you know" he said-mostly to himself although he was looking at me "Had a family, gotten a few strands of grey hair or something..."

"Imprint?" I asked him and he sighed.

"Sorry" he whispered, rubbing the side of his head "It's rather hard to comprehend; someone walking away from it"  
>"Walking away from... the imprint?"<p>

"Yeah" he whispered. "Don't think I am blaming you, I am not. I don't really know... you, well but I mean, you are so... I can tell you are..."

"Good" I finished, watching as a kaleidoscope of emotions fragmented on his face. "Besides being part vampire?"  
>"Uh..." he stuttered. "Okay, think of it this way... yesterday, I hated vampires and they were the reason the girl I loved was dying. Today, I have a... you and then there is Leah and Sam like's doughnuts and the girl I love is a vampire-an evil one at that"<p>

"And my mum..." I said absently, piecing his words together "She is the girl you loves daughter, a half vampire and she walked out on your imprint..."  
>"Yeah..." he whispered "And she is a vampire and I don't know what to do with this love"<br>"And Leah didn't go and get married and have a happy family" I murmured-equally lost in my own mind as he was "And I should think past myself and... expand towards my imprint?"  
>"I am not trying to guilt you" he said raising his hands palms facing me in a sign of peace "Just... don't... forget it"<p>

"Forget the... imprint?"  
>"Yeah" he sighed, in a type of relief that confused me "I mean, I haven't really seen anything from Leah besides you know, her panic with these Vultures..."<br>"Volturi" I corrected absently.

"...and I mean, your mother just..." he paused.

"Renesme" I said but he charged ahead, not elaborating and dropping that train of thought completely.

"...I mean, you are a wolf too and that has got to be something strong..." he paused and stared at my spaced out face and then groaned, whacking his forehead with the heel of his hand "Tell me you knew!"

"Knew?" I mumbled, in a daze.

"You knew, right kid" he held my shoulder "You knew... come on, you are sixteen... that's the age to know right! I mean, Claire and Quil and then... you knew?"

"Claire and Quil?" I muttered. "Why would sixteen...?"

"Shit" Jacob growled "Shit, shit... shit!"

"Jacob..." I called softly as he stormed up the beach

"Oh, she is going to..." he was raving but I cut him swiftly.

"What's an imprint?"

Xx~xx~xX

After he had walked the length of the beach before the rocky dead end, muttering over and over how he would have to definitely time his phasing exactly right and begging me not to mention the 'I' word to anyone and that it would all be explained to me at precisely the 'right time' he calmed down enough to move over that topic.

I wanted to move over it too. My head hurt so much from trying not to understand it and then when I did allow myself I was confused and it hurt again. I felt so sick inside... but he was a teenage boy at the end of everything and when he was comfortable that I wasn't about to put him in to trouble with this terrifying _other_ version of Leah he had, he went back into a calm state as we drove to La Push town.

"Anyway, she chose him..." Jacob sighed "Even then..."

"I didn't know you were in love with her like that" I said as he parked the car in front of Billy's red house.

"I was... I was..." he said experimentally and then sighed, releasing the steering wheel of the Honda and bowing his head dejectedly "It has to be in the past, right. I have to say 'I was'... I have to believe those words when I told her it would be like she had died..."

"You're confessing your never ending love for my Grandma, Dad" I groaned and he grimaced when I said 'Dad'.

"I can't just switch it off" Jacob mumbled and we were two kids sitting in a grey Honda suddenly. "I mean... can you switch it off?"  
>"I have never been in love" I sighed. "Wouldn't know"<p>

"Seriously?" he asked grinning like there was some joke I was missing. "With the way you look and I mean, you are sixteen and... you aren't gay are you? I think that would be a bit much for me; loosing twenty years of my life, broken imprint, Bella is a bitch... I might be able to handle that but... seriously?"

"Argh! Seriously" I sighed ignoring the rest of his statement. "So you loved Isabella and she loved Edward but then..."  
>"Yeah, 'but then'..."Jacob growled "The fucked up wonders about imprinting"<br>"Imprinting" I said experimentally "Did Leah do that to me? Did Quil do that to Claire?"

He looked out the window briefly and then he looked back at me severely "Does it weird you out?" he asked and I groaned, letting my head fall into my hands, that migraine reaching full capacity in my mind. It was a human reaction, I knew... but there it was...

"It weird's you out" Jacob breathed "I should have... Leah should have been the one to tell you, I apologise I was being rather self-absorbed with my issues and..."  
>"Then why didn't she!" I growled and leaned heavily back into the little chair of the Honda. It squeaked and groaned under the force.<p>

"I am sure she had her reasons" Jacob said and I groaned. "Listen, Charles... you and her have a _healthy _relationship, do you understand me?"  
>"What?" I cried and then laughed simultaneously "Compared to what?"<br>"Compared to a lot; Quil and I raised our imprints... that... I mean, Quil seems okay but I was obviously not okay with it in the end" Jacob said sternly "Compared to Sam being engaged and leaving his Fiancé for her cousin because of it-although he seems content with being over fed by Emily and honestly him and L..."

"Argh, I am going to just shut up" Jacob muttered but it was too late, it all fell in place. There were no more secrets, I realised because everything made fucked up sense finally... "This his how I ended breaking the treaty..."

"Oh shit!" I yelled pulling at my hair "Oh, you have got to be kidding me! Hell no... Hell to the mother fucking... Sam...? Not Leah, she is way too hot for that and..."

"Get out the car..." Jacob groaned, pushing me futilely "Rachel and Paul have their finances cut out for them... I don't think they'd appreciate a ruined... Get out Charles!"

"Argh!" I opened the door and fell out, stumbling a good few metres with superior speed to the side of the house, were the little shack was. I was shivering and thrumming and vaguely aware of Jacob's non-stop chattering while he took of his shirt and shoes and started undoing his jeans button...

"I pray she isn't in wolf form!" he groaned in fear, shoving me away from the shack "Get away from my garage, that thing took a few months to construct... go over there..."  
>"What?" I groaned, the pain crawling up and down my spine. "I am not going to turn... it's a panic attack, put your clothes on...!"<br>"Dude?" Seth's voice cut into the rushing in my ears "I leave you alone with my nephew and he contract's epilepsy?"  
>"You don't contract epilepsy, idiot" that was Embry; I coughed hoarsely as the sound of their beating hearts echoed over my wheezing.<p>

"Charles?" Seth murmured "Calm down buddy... tell me what he did and I'll kick his ass for you"  
>"Or we can just calm down and not make me <em>Alpha<em> edict anyone..." Jacob threatened as I took in steady breathes, counting backwards from twenty and heaving all the while.

"Argh" I groaned, bracing myself on my knees, Jacob patting me awkwardly on the back. "Can you... can you put your pants back on! I am not going to turn!"

"Right" he busied himself with finding his jeans. "Just... you know, it kind of looked like you were _stopping _yourself from phasing, there"  
>"Because it hurts!" I growled a sudden urge to punch his face overwhelming me again.<p>

"So what made you _almost _phase?" Seth asked and Jacob blanched. I pointed my finger behind at Jacob who smiled widely and shrugged as though he had absolutely no clue what I meant.

Xx~xx~xX

"You were always a blabber mouth" Embry sighed. "Remember how you managed to blab you were a wolf even though your mouth was wired shut by Sam..."

"Now that is superior blabbing skill" Seth agreed in fake awe. "You blabbed when Bella got pregnant to the tribe, you blabbed that Bella wasn't human to Charlie... you blabbed that Rachel was pregnant when she wanted to announce it at dinner..."

"No, I wasn't... am not!" Jacob said frowning and scooting along the stool in his little garage. "What I don't remember doesn't count!"

"You blabbed when I lost my virginity..." Embry continued and Jacob paused, taking in a sharp breathe his hand hovering in the air absently.

"You lost your virginity before me?" Jacob asked surprised.

"No" Embry grinned at him "You just don't remember losing yours! I guess that makes you a..."

"Shut the fuck up before I edict you" Jacob growled casting me a cautious apologetic glance.

"You okay Charles?" Seth asked and I made a non-committal sound, pointedly studying the canvas covering a car. I wanted to cry, but that seemed like a very bad reaction in a little greasy shack with six foot something muscle bound guys... especially if I was a hairy six foot something muscle bound guy my self...

I wanted to yell but I remembered how loud my preternatural voice got and the fact that I would seem like an even bigger weird freak for doing so stopped me. I wanted to fight and punch but I didn't think anyone was willing to go head to head with me in their human forms and if they were in their wolf forms I wouldn't stand a chance.

"Even Seth..."Jake said miserably but Seth ignored him, rolling his eyes.

"Our Alpha is a sixteen year old virgin" Embry sighed "We are so not going to stand a chance against the Volturi"

"You can commiserate with Charles" Embry grinned and Seth coughed.

"Charles?" Seth smiled sheepishly at me but I refused to look at him. "You want to share something with our Virgin Support group?"

"Tell me..." Jake began and in all my anger and hurt-my lips betrayed me and cocked upwards. "No way kid... I thought you didn't even know about the imprint and...!"  
>"Hey!" I yelled covering my ears "That's Leah! I couldn't... she... Argh!"<p>

"Huh?" Embry looked at Jacob in united confusion.

"That's Leah..." I explained softly "It... we are partners in... life and she is my... friend. She takes care of me and I take care of her, forever"

"You sound like Justin Bieber, you know that?" Embry guffawed but I ignored him.

"Well..." I scoffed "I wasn't the one who was a virgin all the way till my twenties"

"With who?!" challenged Embry and Seth leaned back on the covered car with a proud look on his face, Jacob waiting on me to finish-obviously still confused that it wasn't who he was expecting... didn't he understand how soundly wrong that was, with or without whatever this _imprint _truly was...

"Uhm, Tanya" I said quickly, blushing and pushing a stray strand of hair back behind my ear.

"Tanya" Jacob said thoughtfully "Do I know her or..."  
>"Think 'Cullen Cousin's'" Seth offered and then added "From the uh, Bella's wedding..."<br>"Those hot vampires you had been drooling over when you went alone with Sue and Billy!" Embry shouted "The ones that got you extra days of patrolling thanks to their... what did you call it? Shimmering Beauty...!"

"Yeah, them" Seth grumbled while Jacob just stared at me.

"Leah let you...?" he asked.

"What do you mean 'she let me'?" I snapped. "She isn't my babysitter, for the last time!"

"I don't..."Jacob murmured to Seth.

"It's a lot more complex..." Seth said thoughtfully "...or is it simple... than you think, Jake"

"So you don't think of her... Leah, like... that?" Jake asked and Seth frowned slightly. "At all?"

"No" I lied. "I don't"

"Wow" he breathed, leaning back. "Just... wow..."  
>"She gets to have her little house in the woods with a husband and kids after all" I murmured.<p>

"Yeah" Jacob agreed in an odd tone "She does, doesn't she"

Xx~xx~xX

The first thing all wolves share-retired and active-was a certain boisterous air about them. They moved the logs and worked continuously through laughs, competing and joking and I watched them in awe. Peter helped Seth with the logs and heavy stuff and Jacob looked over them with a sort of competitive glint before harassing me into lifting various unnaturally heavy things with him-that were not really useful to establishing the Bon Fire seating arrangement. Like an old rusted geyser that needed to be moved an inch from its position for some unknown purpose...

"Come on" he whined, dragging an impossibly large solid wood log easily over the ground "No one is bothered!"  
>"It's not that!" I stressed "I can't... manage my strength so easily, you saw how I ruined Rachel's door handle and passenger seat"<br>"You're worried everyone will care" he challenged and I sighed. "No one cares! We are a bunch of wolves, come on!"  
>"Lay off" I growled and he glared at me dangerously, like he was going to shake me violently or something. I stepped back from him cautiously.<p>

"Or maybe you aren't really that strong?" he grinned a toothy grin; his teeth I realised were shaped and formed distinctly like mine. That was what probably made our smile so alike...

I looked around quickly and then shoved him lightly on the shoulder. He toppled back and landed on the lawn on his backside with a heavy huff.

"So you shove real well..." he sighed, tutting in disappointment "Maybe you can shove the Vultures..."

"Volturi" I corrected

"Have you considered that I get their name wrong on purpose?" he growled rolling his eyes "Anyway, maybe you can shove them around, hmm? When Jenny..."  
>"Jane" I corrected.<p>

"Whatever, man..." he rolled his eyes "When Jane comes to check for your death certificate?"

"Let's not think about that now" I sighed and he nodded, agreeing silently. I picked the one end of the log carefully-trying to balance between feeling it in my hands and understanding that because I remembered it heavy didn't mean it was heavy right this minute... we moved it quietly to the seating area and set it up like a stool.

"Leah and Sam huh" I breathed, following him inside Quil's long passed grandfather's house for the cooler boxes.

"Don't worry about it" Jacob sighed "Leah did right by you; letting you be a kid and everything. It's good you got to do a few... I mean, I don't know if vampires were the best choice to _do_, but I guess getting laid is getting laid"

"Hmm" I murmured. "But Sam and..."  
>"Look, he cut her up real bad" Jacob explained "And I never thought she would ever get over it"<p>

"Has she?" I asked him "Do you think she has?"  
>"To some extent" Jacob frowned.<p>

"...some extent, huh...?" I murmured and he sighed.

"She _has_" Jake breathed "She is here, she is handling things that should be _my_ business and you know what... you are pretty alright kid"

"For an offspring of an amnesiatic Shapeshifter and absent half vampire, you mean?"  
>"Exactly!" he grinned and it was hard not smile back when he was truly smiling, his eyes shining with a sort of boyish mischief and face full of a different sort of contentment standing here in La Push, organising a Bon Fire for his best friend and three new supernatural boys.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

She arrived a little late and smiled at me from behind the large slowly simmering down fire. She sat beside Sue and waved lightly at me. I gave her a small wave back, ignoring Jacob's staring and Rachel's never ending glances-she was fascinated by me after I had nervously removed the passenger seat from her car in apology but then remembered I really shouldn't be able to do that and knocked the car over in panic... before Jacob explained laughing like a kid, that because she was a wolf's imprint, she could be in on the secret too.

Sam was there, naturally. He was dictating a long tale I had heard from Jacob recently and after everyone had settled and I had talked myself out of staring at Leah from across the smouldering coals and light flicking flames-I studied him.

It was hard to imagine him a wolf at all; his hair balding and the large round stomach he was sporting but then Peter sat beside him and he was pretty impressive. And if Peter looked like Sam, apparently...

I met Peter's eyes and he glowered viciously at me. I looked away at Claire and Quil who were cuddling intensely to my left. It was a fifty-fifty thing. I was sort of welcomed... and even after Jacob had been informed that news of Renesme reverting to very basic vampire tendencies (which were not hard for either of us to piece together as human blood drinking when Sam had told us), I was still accepted warily.

Neither of us had enquired further about that piece of information on Renesme's new chosen delicacy. Jacob mostly because the only caring he seemed to give when it came to Renesme was disgust and self-disgust and I realised I knew nothing of my mother at all and that was a fragile thing. It would be so easy to know her through the hateful eyes of the rest of the world...

"Charles?" Jacob whispered and I realised I had dozed of with the image of a confused yet fierce Renesme lodged in my mind.

"Huh?" I spluttered awake, immediately looking for Leah across the dead fire. She wasn't there...

"Leah is going to take you to her house, okay?" he said. "I have to patrol with Seth and... _Edward_"

"You know Edward likes you" I said sleepily "Wait... what?! I have to go were with whom?"  
>"Just be cool" Jake sighed and I got up with him, already panicking "Kid, if you do your half-phasing thing here..."<p>

"I wont" I breathed. "I just..."

"Cool it" Jake instructed "You did it with a vampire, nothing can be worse than that"  
>"Actually, worse would really be the word to describe..."<br>Don't even" he growled.

Xx~xx~xX

"How was it?" she switched on the light and Seth's old room was hit by the sharp artificial light hard.

"Lovely" I said hoarsely. "Uhm, and for you?"  
>"Hmm" she sighed "I preferred it when Old Quil and Billy told the story"<br>"Of course"

"What do you mean 'of course'?" she asked, closing the window and fussing over the pillow.

"I mean..." I looked a Seth's old posters of timbre wolves and tigers and it got so much easier to picture the responsible loving nerdy young boy Jacob had been telling me Seth had been "Sam... he doesn't really... deliver"  
>"I know" she said slyly and I grimaced "Uhm, okay... you are acting weird"<br>"Must be because I am weird" I said and she half smiled before dropping the initial attempt to humour me.

"Goodnight?" she said.

"What's an..." I began and then snapped my mouth shut and stood awkwardly, just staring at her.

"Dead on about the weird, kid" she sighed, walking out "Sleep tight"

"Yeah" I whispered as she shut the door. I fell back onto the bed and stared at the worn paint on Seth's ceiling, tucking my hands behind my head neatly. "Sleep tight"

I don't know what made me wonder about her right now, at this very minute but I told Renesme to stay safe wherever she was because I loved her. I didn't know her like I should, but I loved her. And something about knowing about this imprint-I just needed a proper definition past my own assumption-made me understand her.

Didn't they understand-she had been just a kid. She was just a kid... and I couldn't hide from it any longer when my Dad was suddenly (and quietly, I wasn't about to let him know) one of my favourite people and just a teenage boy like me. I couldn't hide from it any longer... who cared about Vultures and Jenny...

My Mother was slightly ten years older than me and lost somewhere in the Amazon.

_Charles?_ A soft tinkling voice whispered somewhere far off before I succumbed to the exertions of the long beautiful day I had spent with my father.

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Okay, I said this was going to be long right? I like adding regular non-eventful chapters with just interaction of the characters and I suppose that's what will end up stretching things out a bit.**

**Responses **

**Charles is a kaleidoscope of maturity and immaturity due to his odd upbringing. Some area's he is mature in and other's he is very innocent. And I guess at times he is deliberately ignorant to things as a defence mechanism. So, no-I haven't gotten his age wrong. He is sixteen, not twelve.**

**Will Jake and Nessie ever get back together? I don't know, would it be able to be rescued after so much damage? I mean, this is the pre-Nessie Jake we are dealing with now. The one who said 'Leech' and 'BloodSucker' and _actually_ meant it to hurt and wanted to murder something that was killing the girl he loved simply because it came from something he hated...**

**I mean, we have our work cut out for us don't we... to give all our previously paired characters a happy ending... Edward, Leah and Jacob. But let's not worry about the destination and concentrate on the journey ;)**

**And as always, I love to hear your thoughts on things...**

**TJ**


	23. Three Blind Mice

**THREE BLIND MICE**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**JACOB BLACK**

**Xx~xx~xX**

"This all feels so familiar huh?" I began and she shrugged her shoulders indifferently, yawning widely and slumping in the corner of her lumpy couch-her eyelids fell, half covering her brown eyes from view.

"I mean, like with Bella" I explained and she scowled violently-all sleepiness thrown aside for the somehow softer 'Leah Clearwater Scowl of Doom'. Damn imprinting, damn it to death...

"This is not like with Bella!" she hissed and I shrunk in the opposite corner of the couch. "This is... this is bigger than that, than that ever was! This is selfless and it's..."  
>"It's your imprint" I murmured.<p>

"It's your son, you idiot!" she growled, throwing a cushion lazily at me and then readjusting herself in the corner-preparing for a doze.

"Yeah" I sighed.

"You need to stop thinking of her as clumsy human retard with a vagina and more like lethal vampire with a narcissistic need to be the prettiest, the best and the most desired-with a vagina; only its cold and dead and will eat your virgin cock..." Leah mumbled her body loosening as the edges of sleep arrived.

"I am not a virgin" I snapped "Charles being here is proof of that"  
>"So tell me what your first time was like" she challenged, smiling droopily.<p>

"I can't remember" I murmured and she chuckles idly.

"What can you remember Jake?" she asked.

"I told you..." I said tetchily "Just before the Blonde one..."  
>"Rosalie" she said absently and I groaned.<p>

"Fine, her..." I snarled and she grinned absently, her eyes closed "I remember her holding the thing"  
>"The mother of your child and the woman you were in love with while she was a child"<br>"Whatever" I growled "Her"

"Don't hate her" Leah sighed "It wasn't her fault"

"You hate her?" I asked and I realised, sitting on the couch seeking guidance from Leah how... how _not_ grown up I was. How totally mature she had become whether she retained her sailor-tongue and distinctly Quileute hot looks that were so hard to come by...

"There were times we did agree on things" Leah sighed "There were times we shared a joke and stuff. She is just... a kid. Think of it that way. She is like ten years older than Charles..."  
>"That makes her twenty-six" I grumbled scowling at the switched of crappy ancient television set.<p>

"That makes her twenty-six _now_" Leah murmured groggily "But then... back then, she wasn't. We can only pray that everything has caught up with her now; emotional maturity and such"  
>"What do you think will happen when I see her?" I asked Leah and after a beat, she responded with a snort and a droning snore.<p>

"I never wanted to be a wolf" I said to myself. "I never wanted to be Alpha and I certainly didn't want to imprint. What's stopping me from getting up and going?"

I could just get up and leave... everything I knew had either died, stopped phasing, imprinted or become an adult. It would be so easy, to just leave... and never come back.

Xx~xx~xX

"So you as Alpha are just going to sit there..."Leah began, her hands on her hips and body cocked to the left in petulant intimidation of _me..._ Jacob Black... the nerve of her... "Sit there and say nothing while I run around..."  
>"What do you want me to do?" I muttered and forced my lower lip to remain impartial and not jut out.<p>

"Be the fucking Alpha!" she roared and Charles eyes widened, his shiny bronze tipped black hair falling lazily over his angular face. "Argh, I have no time for this childishness! Embry... you have training covered?"

Embry nodded his head and gave me a disapproving look. I ignored him and held a staring contest with Leah before I blinked-losing-and opted to glare at a smug looking Charles. Stupid Edward look-alike who stole my teeth...

"You, in the meantime..." Leah breathed "...can stay with Charles while the rest of us true _Protector's _can go patrolling"

"Why do I have to..." I began and she huffed, throwing her hands in the air and revealing Charles face from behind her with her abrupt movement- his tongue was sticking out, deliberately pointed at me. I didn't know whether to phase and attack his insolent likeable self or laugh; he had a dark fuzz over his entire jaw, his face sharp and masculine and only his twinkling eyes suggested an immature rascal lived in that adult body.

"If you stick that thing out at me, kid..." I huffed; getting up-he would follow me out and leave Leah in her ranting mode with the rest of the pack "You are going to lose it"

Xx~xx~xX

"It's snowing" Charles said absently.

"Yes, it is" Alice murmured, turning the pages of the magazine slowly and casting me an odd look before pursing her lips. "It was snowing when Jane and her guard where travelling..."

He stiffened momentarily, staring at the paper he had been scribbling on before the pen snapped in half and ink went splattering on the mahogany table.

"Oh, Charles..." Alice sighed rising fluidly and disappearing from sight for a second before reappearing beside Charles kneeling form on the coffee table with a cloth and varnish "Why don't you go and change and I'll take care of this?"

"Hmm" was his response as he zapped not nearly as fast as a vampire by far-but enough that his movements were a blur of colour, up the stairs.

"Why don't you go and talk to him?" Alice suggested inspecting her horrendous smudging of the navy oily ink all over the table-a counter active cleaning attempt that left the table thoroughly ruined. She frowned at her handy work and poured a giant splodge of varnish over the ink again and covered it with the cloth and sighed-satisfied with her further destruction.

"Talk to him about what?" I asked her and she rolled her eyes.

"Go talk to him about anything, you idiot!" she growled "Gosh, you are still thick as a brick"

One more person to call me an idiot and I am going to go Alpha-Hulk on these crazy supernatural people.

"He wants to be alone" I said coolly, leaning back and flipping the channel nonchalantly.

"You know, back when you were all heartbroken..."Alice said thoughtfully, a small smile on her lips and I zoned in on her voice-morbidly curious to know more on this _other me_ "You were so over bearing with your love and guilt that when you did come around in human form... you would smother Charles. Well, smother him in your way... I would have taken him shopping or..."

"What way was that?" I asked her "The smothering... how did I...?"

"You would make me pancakes" Charles answered coolly, his deep voice rebounding of the walls. "I am going out..." he announced casually, skipping over the many books and cases he had left on the floor towards the sliding door.

"My mother made me pancakes..." I said softly.

"Uhm, you are on Charles duty" Alice said looking at me pointedly.

"Yeah, so?"  
>"So, how can you be watching Charles..." she breathed bored, returning to her magazine "If Charles has just left your immediate vicinity?"<p>

"Shit"

Xx~xx~xX

He walked casually up the drive way, his hands stuffed in the pockets of a hoody that seemed slightly too small on him. It was difficult to imagine him as a child now-with the way he looked and a part of me that had managed to draw the image tended to get it warped with an image of myself as a toddler. His baby photo of him and Leah sat squashed in my wallet with various other valuable cards that let me know how off I was about that. It was some birthday of his-his fourth I think-and Leah held him in her arms while he seemed to be squirming and giggling...

He looked sick; weak even in the photo and his eyes were too large and green. His eyes held that child-happiness of glorious oblivion to the rest of the world's problems. He didn't look like me, not really-but the more I studied that photo the more I saw some of me there...

And he had lost those more distinct 'Black' markers when he had phased and turned into this obviously too good-looking tanned version of Edward with darker hair and weirdly contrasting green eyes. He had lost so much of me with this _venom _and the only part that was left was in his smile...

But I would barely ever see me in him, because he would barely ever smile. Even then, back then... in this life I had with her-his mother-and then Leah and him... I don't think he smiled the required average amount a child should.

"Charles!" I called and he huffed, pausing. I rushed up to him, the sound of my feet crunching the gravel merging easily with the sounds of the surrounding forest of the Cullen's long driveway. He was kicking his feet lazily at the ground, huffing and puffing.

"Oh, please..." I chuckled catching up to him "If you wanted to reach the end of the driveway, and not have me follow you... you would have just zoomed there"

"I could do that now" he challenged.

"Yeah, you could" I shrugged my shoulders "And I could just phase and give you that hiding I owe you"

"Whatever" he snapped and charged up allowing me to follow him easily, his hands still petulantly shoved in his pockets.

"You know that hoody is too small, right?" I asked him and he huffed in response.

"So... what did I do for a living?" I asked him after a minute and he sighed, shrugging his shoulders again. "I bet I was a mechanic"  
>"You didn't even fix the toaster when it broke" he chuckled. "And mechanic? Were you Quileute boy's brainwashed into thinking that was the only career choice?"<br>"I was really good at it" I said softly thinking of the shape under the canvas in my old garage. "I had this rabbit... well, I guess I still do but..."  
>"You smashed it into a tree..."Charles said absently "And then proceeded to bash it in... now, I understand that all the scrapes and hard scratches were done by a Jacob Wolf and not a rake... like you had lied to me"<p>

"I murdered my baby?" I wailed theatrically and he laughed, I smiled with him. We had reached the end of the driveway and the long road snaking towards Forks inner town met us.

"Yeah, I guess you did" he said.

"Why?"

"Renesme" was all he said and we changed the topic casually, walking up the cool road with the tall trees swaying on either side and shoving each other; all thought on looming snowing doomsdays momentarily forgotten.

Xx~xx~xX

"He is on his way" Charles breathed, putting his small phone back in his pocket.

"Uhm, why!?" I demanded and Charles smiled detachedly at me.

"That's what the Cullen's do" Charles sighed, sitting on the curb and placing his hand experimentally on the bumper of the red car parked in front of him. "They over do everything"  
>"So this is what, double protection?" I asked and he nodded. "Like you are so <em>fragile...<em>!"

I punched him and he allowed the motion to move him slightly, looking at me patiently.

"You want to do something fun?" I asked him and he frowned, watching me with mild humour. "I just had a crazy idea..."

Xx~xx~xX

"Shhhh...!" I pushed him lightly and he stifled a chortle.

"Why are you shushing me" he whispered "Like the humans can hear us from like ten thousand feet away in the forest!"

"Why are you whispering if you are so certain they can't hear us?" I whispered back to him and he resumed his laughing, slapping me too hard on the back and sending me lurching almost through our cover in the forest opposite the little shopping centre across the parking lot.

"Why are you whispering to me if you think I shouldn't whisper?!" Charles laughed softly and then an eloquent tutting erupted from behind us, the air moving slightly and a soft breezy entrance of ghosting feet.

"I leave you alone with my grandson and you turn him into a hoodlum" Edward droned from behind us in a weird parched musical tone and Charles and I stiffened, pausing our scanning of the entrance of the store for the owner of the Mercedes we had carried to the back of the parking lot. The car was just a little out of sight... we had ensured that after about fifteen minutes of panicking, the individual would see it and wonder how it got there. Then the fun would begin...

"Uhhh..." Charles breathed turning around to face Edward with a guilty expression on his face.

"Just keep quiet" I murmured to him "Anything you say will be held against you by this vampire..."  
>"You forgot <em>anything<em> you _think_" Edward muttered rolling his eyes. "I don't know if this new you is worse than the sixteen year old you who was trying to get with the love of my life..."  
>"Good thing you're immortal, huh?" Charles winked at him "You can get over all of that..."<br>"I was over it a long time ago" Edward sighed, standing beside us and staring out across the parking lot to the shop. "Way before Bella was even a vampire, really..."  
>"You should have just let her be with me" I said.<p>

"Then what?" Edward sighed. "She wouldn't have been evil?"  
>"Well..."<br>"She led you on..."Edward said "And she..."

"And you two need to get over that like right now because the mystery owner of the red Mercedes has just appeared!" Charles laughed, pulling both Edward and I by the neck to huddle in an uncomfortable weird sandwich of hot-warm-cold-with Edward and I on his sides.

The woman stared at the spot where her car had been for a second, looked to the left then to the right and then closed her eyes and opened them again-obviously expecting the hallucination to end and reveal the car with the act.

"This is so cool!" Charles chuckled "If having super strength..."  
>"Of course you would convince him that having superior strength is only good for..." Edward paused and stared out to the parking lot at the woman in horror. "Angela?"<p>

"Huh?" Charles turned his head to stare at Edward's blank expression-ignoring how uncomfortable Edward and I were with being confined at his sides and so close to each other; his arms holding us steely.

"Of all the rotten..." Edward began "Jacob you have to, no... She would know you. Charles, go and show her were you put her car this minute!"

"Why?" Charles asked releasing us finally. "That would just incriminate me? And how do I explain her car moving...?"

"She is an old friend of mine" Edward said. "You don't have to say anything, just ask her what she is looking for and then pretend to help her and..."  
>"And why can't you do it?" Charles asked suspiciously "Since, she is <em>your<em> friend and all. She is the one who came by the house the other time, isn't she...?"

Edward stood still for a moment, just staring at Charles with his mouth slightly open before looking back at the now frantically pacing Angela and then back to Charles once again... the answer somehow stuck in his vampire mind.

"He likes her" I chuckled and Edward snapped his golden eyes at me and hissed low. "'I will love you forever and ever, Isabella... only you' and the first human you see... you fall for again. Nice. Real eighteenth century gentleman, there"

"I do not like her, you _mongrel!_" Edward growled, Charles standing between us calmly and amused with a knowing smile on his lips "She was hypnotised by Joham's daughter and Isabella... Even if, which it is not..." he paused and took in a hard breath "Do not play mind games with me, Jacob Black...!"

I arched my eyebrow casually and smirked at him. He huffed and then growled-real _inhuman _like and then scowled at me.

"You are wrong regardless; I am a nineteenth century vampire..." he said with forced calmness "Charles, please... _now_"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**CHARLES BLACK**

**Xx~xx~xX**

"Uhm..." I breathed but she didn't hear me. I realised it had been a while since I interacted with beings outside my rather large supernatural family. "Miss?" I said a little louder and she started, dropping her car keys.

"Sorry, I uhm..." lying is as easy as singing a song "Your car and uhm... you look..."  
>"You've seen it?!" she offered quickly and I nodded vehemently. Lying is not as easy as singing a song, Edward... if you were the one who stole the lyrics to being with.<p>

"It's to the left of the car park, behind the white truck with a doughnut logo" I said and she arched her eyebrow.

"Very distinct directions there" she said smiling oddly "You look familiar"

"No I don't" I said and rushed back towards the forest, ignoring Edward and Jacob's hidden waving and indicating that I go through the shop and round the front-like a normal human who didn't run around in forests would have.

"Smooth" Jacob murmured rolling her eyes.

"She knows" Edward groaned. "Your hair... she's linked you to us"  
>"Oh, what's the problem!" I snapped "She already met you and your never ending seventeen year old looks!"<p>

"Didn't I tell you he likes her?" Jacob grinned.

"You do realise that biologically, she is what... double our ages here?" I said and Edward groaned. "Major Cougar fetish, there Grandpa"

"I will retire..."Edward sighed "Your combined teenage idiocy is draining"

"In other words..."Jacob said when Edward disappeared "He isn't as 'Sparkly' as he thought"

Xx~xx~xX

"...and Leah thought she would get in the way" Jacob continued, tinkering with something underneath the rusted red relic. He grunted once and wrenched, and something chunky and metal fell beside his head with a soft thud. "Back then, she was quite the spitfire"  
>"More than this?" I asked him.<p>

"A lot more, kid" he chuckled "Pass me the twenty two"

"The who?" I asked dumbfounded, staring at the strewn toolbox on the floor of his garage.

"How the hell can you be my kid and not know what a 'twenty-two' is?" he growled.

"You kind of missed that crucial lesson between drinking like a fish and running about on four legs" I said.

"Well, it's the large one with the black stain on the handle" he said tetchily and I handed it to him. "Where was I?"  
>"She got in the way of this newborn badass vampire" I continued in awe and he chuckled.<p>

"Yeah, idiot that she was... trying to be a better 'guy'" he laughed. "I had to rescue her furry behind but it cost me mine. Let me tell you, you don't want to hear the sound of your ribs breaking in half!"

"But she is the fastest?" I asked.

"Fast" Jacob murmured. "Like a bullet"

"As fast as Edward?" I asked.

"Don't know" Jacob said thoughtfully "Maybe you can ask them to race for you sometime"  
>"Like they'll do that!" I snorted.<br>"It's how you ask kid" Jacob grinned "Edward... you are his Bella and Leah... well... uhm, I actually can't tell whether she will say yes or no"

"To prove her title, maybe?" I offered.

"Yeah, maybe" he said mystically.

"Shoot, my phone" I groaned, prying the thing our of my pocket.

"It better not be Edward..." Jacob murmured, grumbling full on wars and treaty lines.

"It's just a text..." I said "I need to be home at the Cullen Manor urgently... Urgently?"

"Let me see that" he sighed, pushing himself from under the car. I gave him the phone and he squinted his eyes slightly. "Urgent... it seems... urgent?"

"I guess we have to go" I sighed getting up. He rose off the floor and dusted his denim cut-offs, and looked back at the Rabbit contemplatively.

"No, we really don't have to" he said softly-seriously.

"It seems urgent, Jacob" I said.

"But we don't have to go" he whispered. "We don't have to go anywhere or maybe we can go somewhere other..."  
>"What are you talking about?" I frowned at him and waved the phone in his face "Urgent? It says we have to go back and its urgent!?"<br>"It says 'you' have to go back Charles" he said raising an eyebrow "Honestly, I don't see any text in there that suggests I need to be at the Cullen house for shit"  
>"Is this some lingering wolf animosity thing!?" I yelled at him "I seriously don't have time for 'Old Jacob' versus 'New Jacob' right now!?"<br>"Charles..." he murmured grabbing my shoulders but I shrugged his hand off violently and he stumbled backwards with the motion. "Buddy look... this is their world. This is their world! This isn't for me... I never wanted it and..."  
>"And it is here, you idiot!" I growled and his face changed so abruptly from placating to violent disbelief. "You are in this world now fucking deal!"<p>

"No" he hissed. "I am leaving and if you don't want to come with me... don't ever say I never asked you!"  
>"I wont say it because...!" I roared and then the words got lost in my mind somewhere with the anger and my shaking "Fuck you!"<p>

"It isn't your world, Charles" he said again-softer.

"Yeah, well..." I shouted, walking angrily out of his shabby garage "They are my family and if its says urgent you better believe I am going to be there!"

I spun around quickly and stared at his confused form outside the little rickety shed "And another thing, Jacob Black! It was you who taught me that... who told me to always take care of Leah no matter what! And this is no matter _fucking_ what!"

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**Xx~xx~xX**

"Jane..." Carlisle said clearly in an even tone.

They stood still and beautiful many feet away, their red eyes dancing over the vampires easily and frowning slightly at the wolves at their sides before lingering in obvious interest on the green eyes man standing awkwardly by Edward's side.

"A pleasure..."Jane sighed, bored-shifting her gaze from Charles face to study her nails.

"As always" Carlisle finished.

"Your brood is still large" Jane stated.

"You say it as though it were a bad thing" Carlisle laughed. "Go forth and prosper, no?"  
>"Not if you go forth and bring out abominations" Jane stated and Edward and the light grey wolf growled in unison. The rest of the pack shifted and tensed uneasily at the sides of the huddled vampire and human hybrid family. Their Alpha was absent... his thoughts vacant from their link. But they could survive this unknown conference. They had to.<p>

"I trust Aro is in good spirits?" Carlisle placed a hand on Edwards arm.

"Yes" Jane said raising an eyebrow elegantly, her mouth pinching slightly.

"As dear and old a friend as always?" Carlisle went on. "So loving of him to send you to see if I were in good spirits with my own family"  
>"Yes" Jane smiled cynically, her eyes lifting slightly as though to roll behind the lavender eyelids and then opting to just look somewhere far off in contemplation "He is most... loving... to some... that he finds worthy"<br>"Ngh" Edward groaned-said. A word lost and jumbled in his mouth as some sort of pain seized him. Carlisle's hand released his arms, his eyes quickly scanning Edward's face while Rosalie and Esme hissed low at Jane.

"I have done nothing" Jane said amused.

"She..." Edward said eventually, his face a hard mask "Has done nothing wrong"

"Are you sure?" Carlisle asked desperately.

"She did nothing... to him" Charles answered, his own face twisted in a grimace. He saw what he shouldn't have seen in Edward's own mind-the peculiarity of a gift he thought lost, a connection he had thought severed working its way in him as his adrenaline rushed at the imminent danger facing him.

"He is obviously not human" Jane said dryly and her brother laughed at her sides.

"He is no threat to the peace and privacy of our world" Carlisle said softly weaving his fingers with Esme's. He hated this, it felt too close to what they had gone through with Renesme once... too close...

"...Hmm" Jane contemplated, bowing her head. "Is he really? I thought that once about your first human, Carlisle... Isabella"  
>"And you have her!" Carlisle said quickly "She is loyal to you and how lovely an addition I am sure she is to your <em>prestigious<em> guard."  
>"Yes, but one who can so easily walk away from her coven and mate..." Jane shifted her cold eyes to Edward "To another?"<p>

"To..." Carlisle began.

"Aro" Edward said quickly, before the name of Nahuel's father was uttered and all their plans and Isabella's plans came to light. Everything about South America had to stay hidden from them, from the Volturi... even if it meant hiding part of Isabella's secrets.

"Oh" Esme breathed. "Aro... he accepted her, to such a..."  
>"High level" Rosalie finished .<p>

"I thought she wasn't a threat..." Jane droned, taking a step forward-her brother and Felix flanking her with a slight inched twitch. "Her and her humanness, and yet here I am... running her errands. Here I am..."

She sighed and shook her head before muttering sweetly "These creatures that are neither prey nor predator are most dangerous. We have to be sure they are truly harmless in the end..."  
>"No!" Edward stated severely but it was too late. He watched horrified as Charles moved stiffly two feet forward before his face shuddered violently like the whipping winds from a jet propeller were blowing directly at him.<p>

"It's only a little pain for a little human... human _thing_, I suppose" Jane smiled and then they were in dark unfeeling numbness with just enough senses to hear Charles soft whimpering merging with a resonating groaning from the wolfs. Alec watched them curiously, the single grey wolf beside Charles that he had propelled with his gift, spreading it across to the other wolves like venom.

And the vampires remained motionless statues beside the quaking and trembling form of Charles, his arms tensed at his sides and hot liquid coursing through his veins.

"Not so formidable without her, it seems" Jane murmured thoughtfully. "Not so... interesting..."  
>"Stop!" Charles gasped.<p>

"No" Jane stated and he moaned.

"Please stop!" Charles groaned, his body flexing rigidly in a perpendicular tortured line over the snow covered ground. She frowned at him, watching as he shook some of the pain in his mind but he couldn't escape most of it.. It saturated him, leaving blotchy clear spaces...

"Odd creature" she breathed. "Aro would certainly be interested in this"  
>"If Isabella hasn't told him of it yet" Alec murmured.<p>

"And beaten you to it... yet again" Felix laughed.

"I suggest you not irk me" Jane sighed, tilting her head-observing the grunting breathing man in front of them. "My moods have been unpredictable of late..."  
>"Of late being these few years, eh dear sister?" Alec murmured-staring at the strange sight they had construed in the blind wolves and vampires and single tortured man pulled up in the air by a barbed metal string.<p>

"It matters not" Jane growled-all her careful detachment lost momentarily in the violence of her expression. An expression hidden to all but the aggressive hatred in her mind lay clear in Edward's still alert telepathy.

"There is one!" shouted a vampire behind. "A werewolf...!"

"Stop" Felix breathed stepping tentatively back. "Stop or stop it...!"

"Stay were you are and we will release them!" Jane called but it charged-calculated through some long lost instinct that the boy next to the beautiful young girl was the cause of the sensory blindness of his pack. He released them immediately, Alec dancing easily away and whacking the wolf across the muzzle and sending it flying backwards.

"There is one of you, wolf..."Alec breathed "And we mean no harm as yet! Now, sit! And I will release them..."  
>"No extractions?" Felix asked quickly.<p>

"No" Jane murmured. "It is a strange oddity... instructions are instructions. He is obviously not human. And Aro will need to think on the precise..." 

The wolf growled low and inched forward.

"Oh, I almost forgot... " Jane breathed and released Charles-he fell to the ground with a grunt. The rest of the wolves yelped and whimpered when their senses were returned to them.

"That was unnecessary!" Carlisle roared and Jane shrunk-almost invisibly away. She had never known him for anger and the admonishment caught her slightly of guard.

"His existence and that bitch of a daughter..." Jane spat at Carlisle, taking tow large steps that were intercepted by a restraining hold by Alec... "And that whore Isabella, now there is something unnecessary!"  
>"Leave it" Edward breathed to Carlisle and then turned sharply to a bristling Leah and Jacob "Let it go... trust me. Leave it...!"<p>

"I am fine..."Charles groaned, rising queasily up and leaning heavily on the light grey wolfs shoulder. "Seriously, I am fine... a little tingling..."  
>"Tingling?" Jane arched her eyebrow.<p>

"I think... we will be on our way" Alec laughed. "Till next time..."  
>"And it will be soon" Jane growled, her eyes flashing.<p>

"Goodbye"

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**Xx~xx~xX**

"They think they can just bully us...!" Esme yelled pacing the dining in a blur of red floral dress and caramel hair.

"They can" Emmett said miserably "I would have really liked to fight but its kind of hard when Alec doesn't play fair"  
>"Play fair!" Rosalie snapped "He is a <em>Volturi Guard<em>! The 'Bad Guy' Emmett, he isn't going to put in consideration the rules and regulations of a fair fight if he has that gift!"

"Kind of like someone I know" Jasper drawled, eyeing Edward indicatively-but Edward remained silent and quiet at the outer rim of the circle of fury huddled around Charles.

"Jane seems..." Seth began thoughtfully.

"Royally pissed" Embry finished. "At Isabella. Now, isn't that a strange thing if she is with the guard"  
>"Not if she is doing the head boss..." Seth murmured softly, looking at Edward carefully.<p>

"Who happens to be Jane's eternal crush?" Embry finished, ignoring the slight tension around the topic. "Royally pissed and fucked"

"And you!" Leah roared, punching and shoving Jacob suddenly, startling him into retreating straight in to the dining table "Way to arrive late!"

"Uhm..." Jacob muttered, and casting a wide confused gaze at Charles.

"He came" Charles stated. "That's what mattered"  
>"Not that you would have been any use!" Leah gave him one last bruising punch and went back to stand defensively by her imprint.<p>

"How courteous of Alec and Jane to show how useless we were" Emmett breathed. "Letting Jacob prance about with his sights so he could witness our patheticness for us"  
>"He wasn't a threat and Alec wasn't certain of the wolves" Edward murmured.<p>

"Uhm...?" Alice breathed. "Care to elaborate?"  
>"He blinded us just fine" Edward stated "But he only blinded Leah to get to all the wolves. He didn't understand it. He wasn't about to take a chance with Jacob in case it broke of the other wolves and they had not one wolf to deal with but plenty"<p>

"And Jane?" Carlisle asked.

"Charles..." Edward said "She was using her full strength just for that little 'tingle'"  
>"You should be dead" Rosalie said "Vampires tend to go into trauma under that... you should really be..."<br>"But he isn't" Esme said softly. "It is over, that's what matters"  
>"No, it isn't" Edward said. "She hates us. She hates what we have done to her and Aro... she hates us for Isabella... she wants to eradicate us and if we had let it be known the presence of Joham in Isabella's corruption-we would have been on trial immediately. Defending our lives"<p>

They remained silent. Each of them piecing together the web of destruction Bella had woven out, each of them realising that to some measure they would all be expandable, collateral damage... to some silent war playing out invisibly.

"Understand this" Edward said in a clear voice filled with conviction. "I am going to South America. I am going to Renesme. And I will bring my daughter back!"  
>"And I will come with you" Charles breathed and Leah gasped.<p>

"No!" she said shaking her head, and facing him. He looked past her to Edward, who nodded in understanding. He was not a boy so weak and fragile-he was a boy becoming a man who needed his mother. He wanted her to be safe... this was his choice.

"No..." Leah said softly, grabbing his face and turning it to hers. She bore into his eyes, willing him to understand this one thing... "It's too dangerous! You heard him the other time; wars and vampires... and _Nahuel _and his father and..."  
>"I will go with him" Jacob announced. "I'll keep an eye on him"<p>

"You think I'll..." Leah stammered, shaking her head in disbelief "Like hell he is going out of my sights!"

"But it's too dangerous" Charles said.

"Uh, who here has survived a New Born war and a Volturi Showdown?" Leah said. "Certainly not you, oh Conan the Barbarian"

"I remember the New Born war but the Showdown is a bit hazy" Jacob chuckled.

"It was a non-Showdown dude" Embry said shaking his head "Nothing worth mentioning, Leah"

"I guess we are even then" Charles grinned at Leah "I survived a literal death glare..."

"Let's see if you'll survive me if you carry on with your cocky self" Leah huffed but returned Charles smile regardless.

Xx~xx~xX

"I am sorry for leaving" Jacob said quickly and Charles sighed. "It was..."  
>"Juvenile..." Charles offered and Jacob smiled sheepishly.<p>

"I was gong for immature..."  
>"Same thing, Black" Charles said. "You came back"<p>

"I came back" Jacob sighed. "You're my kid, Kid"

"Drop the kid and I'll forgive you" Charles sighed, punching him lightly on the arm.

"Okay..." Jacob conceded mildly "Then what am I to refer to you as?"  
>"How about 'His Magnificence, Charles'?" Charles grinned.<p>

"Fuzz Head it is" Jacob laughed and then looked at Charles seriously, imploringly-trying to word out what he thought in his 'juvenile' to still be so 'pansy' it had to stay bottled in.

"Charles" he whispered "I wont... I wont ever leave you and you know what, you and I will always be together"  
>"That sounds..."<br>"Yeah I know, Broke-Back Mountainy..." Jacob grinned. "But there it is"  
>"Forever?"<br>"For _always_"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Thank you for all the reviews, pm's favourites! Real inspiring! And to you anonymous reader, thank you for taking the time to read this...!**

**As you know, reviews are greatly appreciated,**

**Till next time**

**TJ **


	24. In Your Own World

**IN YOUR OWN WORLD**

Xx~xx~xX

"Ahhh...!"  
>"Don't move so much" I told him softly and he shuddered once, his eyes hidden behind relentlessly shut eyelids and lips pursed mercilessly. I squeezed the antiseptic out of the cotton ball, shaking it slightly before dabbing it on the gauge by his throat.<p>

He groaned freely as soon as the white fluff made contact with his bleeding wound again but remained in an awkward form of stillness. The silver thick liquid mingled with his blood lazily-such a contradiction to the violent pain it caused him the cotton soaked it all up, blood and venom and let the harsh smell of the medicine on his skin.

"You know that human stuff does nothing for me?" Nahuel croaked out a laugh, a weird grin on his lips, his eyelashes hooded from the strain of the pain.

"Sometimes" I told him, pushing the tattered shirt from his slight shoulders carefully-cringing each time the fabric managed to rub on the hidden bites and wounds and made him groan "Sometimes, I like to play pretend that we can heal everything with a Band-Aid"

"And this is why you are my angel, sweet Renesme" he murmured and I blushed at how his almost hidden accent caressed my name.

"Your tainted angel" I whispered and he touched my cheek with a bloodied hand, rubbing lightly and leaving some of the red of blood on me.

Xx~xx~xX

"He doesn't want me around" Nahuel sighed-his expression could easily have been taken as a sign of self pity but I knew better. It was disappointment, disappointment that he would no longer know some of Joham's more intricate plans or the realisation that he had been pushed further back in the hierarchy. He stared up at the black sky sprinkled with pulsing globes wistfully.

"Just because he doesn't want you there..." I snapped, folding my eyes and looking angrily away from the dark lush jungle, opting to ignore the night sky he loved so much "Does not mean he has to _chew you all over!_"

"You know he thinks he is some form of 'respectable civilized gentleman'" Nahuel said softly, tugging at my hand-willing me to release my folded arms "It wasn't him"

"Flora?" I asked numbly-the snarling feral image of Nahuel's wild sister with the deadly gift of persuasion flashing over my eyes in quick sequences of glinting white teeth and violent scowls.

"And were would she get the venom from?" Nahuel asked, raising an eyebrow. "No, not sweet Flora..."

"Don't call her sweet" I growled "She is anything but sweet... if she were sweet she would..." I paused abruptly, the wind whistling in place of the rest of my sentence.

_You're so sweet you rot my teeth, Nessie_, he whispered huskily in my ear from some where far off in my memories.

"Well..." Nahuel murmured, pursing his lips and looking away from me-knowing full well what my sudden change from energetic paranoia to lethargic misery meant "It wasn't her"  
>"Who was it?" I asked softly, fearing his answer but unable to run from the truth<p>

"Not Isabella" he said scathingly. I was grateful he hadn't called her _whore _like he was prone to.

"Then..." I wanted to say some other name, maybe long lost friends who resided in the deep territories of the South American jungle but there was no possibility of that. They had promised me I would never see nor hear from them in the face of such damning treachery to what Carlisle stood for, such treachery from my family... when they found me out...

"He made a bodyguard" Nahuel said eventually, dropping his badly performed teasing "Vile creature built like a tank"

"And he just bit into you for no good reason?" I sneered and Nahuel growled, all calmness lost in place of coiled aggression.

"No good fucking reason, eh?" he smirked, raising an eyebrow over a flashing eye "If I wasn't busy running around for you, trying to find information on whether Joham has acquired your runt or killed the dog..."  
>I remained silent, my hands sitting fisted in my lap. He reached for them after a moment, his breathing obviously controlled but I kept them closed.<p>

"You used to show me things all the time" he whispered "You used to show me how good I made you feel... how much better I knew how to love you"  
>"Welcome to the future" I stated-and her voice echoed in my mind. All my little quips garnered from spending many an afternoon in my too brief youth a group of intricate beings who only knew of simple living.<p>

"He hit me because I asked Joham if he had been to Forks" Nahuel said eventually "Joham was not pleased about this. Your mother disappointed him with something"  
>"Was she there?" I asked quickly "Did you see her?"<br>"No" he sighed, dropping his expecting hand on my thigh when I wouldn't give him my hand. "But he still extends his 'hospitality' to you and I in his territory"  
>"How gracious of him" I scoffed.<p>

"As long as you don't disappear from my sights again" Nahuel murmured his eyes flashing dangerously-Flora's persuasion on him to react violently to my family and Jacob Black working viciously in him. I forgave him even as his hand tightened on my thigh painfully-it wasn't his fault. It was Flora and Joham...

"I had too, Nahuel..." I began but his grip only tightened. I winced. "I needed some time..."  
>"Do not leave the territory!" he growled, releasing my thigh and opting to grip me roughly by the hair, tilting my head to face him "I had to beg for you? Do you understand me, Renesme? I had to beg for you! You are of no value to him... no value at all! Were I will leave with beatings... you will leave without a head!"<p>

"I understand you, Nahuel!" I cried, tugging at his hand-he shook my head violently, momentarily spraining my neck before it righted itself "I won't... I promise, I won't ever!"

"Bella didn't bargain for you" Nahuel whispered into my ear "She would have had you thrown out of Joham's central territory and braving the wild vampires..."

"No" I squeaked.

"Yes, Renesme..." he told me sadly, his hands loosening till he was stroking my hair-loving me once more "You aren't worth much now that you are immortally set"

I couldn't stop my body from going rigid; the anger had to be ignored like so many other times-fighting was only good for defending, not for petty arguments with compelled lovers. He had venom and I had learnt the hard way that venom wounds where _forever..._ or more accurately, healed humanly slow. And more importantly, in the dim outskirts of the city-just at the edges of Joham's territory-one couldn't afford injuries if you had a beating heart and blood.

You had to always be prepared to defend your life-immortal and otherwise.

But I knew what he meant by 'Immortally Set'. I was nearing my limit with ignoring what his continual reminder of that statement meant to my own stupidity with him. Immortally Set-Barren. He had pursued me before because I was still at the physical immaturity to bare children, because Joham had had Flora compel him into seducing me from my family... or so he claims.

I hope his claims are the truth...

But it would explain why after he had painted the beautiful picture of what a family would mean, with my mother of course feeding him adjectives to deliver to me; it would explain why my decision to have Jacob be the brush to that art I wished to paint out had driven him mad. Why be angered by my choice in a mate if you were compelled...

"He is working towards something" he said after a while, calmer. I remained silent; another lesson I had been forced to learn was that being a 'know it all' didn't get me anywhere in this untamed milieu. Leah had always warned me...

Nahuel wasn't built for this and the guilt that consumed me knowing that in some way I had pulled him from the simple peace and love he had known in Huilen consumed me. Well, it irritated my already crowded conscious slightly...

Nahuel only sought out information after I had carefully constructed a series of hints that made him believe it was his intention to begin with to find these things out. It was easier to let him believe he was infinitely more intelligent because he had a hundred and some years over me...

But I doubt he had picked up that Joham was using him as much as I was using Nahuel, and as much as Nahuel thought he was using me. Isabella... she was the queen on this chess board while Nahuel remained a dithering pawn and I was an ambitious pawn. On the matter of intelligence and usage-Joham had upped his security, not allowing his son near him. I didn't blame him though; Nahuel's knew found slight venerating trust in Joham consisted solely of Flora's gift, otherwise he would still be with Huilen, safe and free from this sin.

He had upped his security, ignoring his narcissistic conceited haughtiness and tightened his leash on all vampires under him. My self included, which would explain Nahuel's relatively calmer behaviour and sudden departure from brooding about Huilen to reminiscing on our sex filled blood crazed days. Nahuel was told to literally stay by my side...

Because he feared me, at this moment. And if he wanted me dead, if I was really truly completely worthless... he would have me dead by now. If he is upset with Isabella...

"What did she do?" I asked Nahuel and he clicked his tongue irritated, removing his hand from between my legs petulantly-as though he thought I would complain for the lack of groping and tugging.

"I don't know, Renesme!" he said frustrated.

"What did she do..." I asked myself softly, ignoring his grumbling. "What did she promise Joham?"

But I knew what Joham wanted and what Isabella would promise him. My son... my son in exchange for my remaining alive. I exhaled a shaking breath and closed my eyes, willing the tears to stay away...

But the added security? What did Joham have to fear if he had Flora with him to compel a few key players to keep his kingdom as he would have it? But like all vampires with talents, their gifts had hidden flaws... and Flora was a half-vampire after all. She could only compel vampires with great concentration, Nahuel and I were easier targets. Isabella had been exceptionally hard and I heard it had caused her nose to bleed from the exertion, to keep the shield from undoing her work after Isabella naturally coated her mind with it again...

The added security was for vampires.

Wasn't it obvious, as was with all things?

"I know I hate you..." I said to the night, ignoring Nahuel shadowing my steps "But I have never been more grateful for your existence..."  
>"You're crazy" Nahuel grumbled.<p>

Dear Aro, with forced love...

I hope you kill Joham.

Kill him dead.

Xx~xx~xX

It was much safer to move in the day.

Fewer vampires and an easier hunting field without worrying so much about ones back. it amazes me sometimes how many vampires Joham has created to reside in the city-but what feels me with unwanted awe is the manner in which he conducts his creations.

So very different from his son and daughters; he treats Nahuel with mild patience, still trying to convince the hidden part of his son that is not compelled-the part that does hate its father to no limit-trying in such subtle ways and half hearted measures to convince him that he is a Demigod.

Well, he has managed to convince his daughters to such an extent that they think of humans as humans would think of chimpanzees. Those crazy incestuous bitches... crazy _dangerous _bitches... the worst kind. Sanity has always been a lot safer than the insane-something fearsome about a being that does not yet know its limits and pushes the barrier with abandon glee.

"Don't do that" Nahuel sighed, tugging at my arm "You'll break her spine... gently, come now Renesme! You are not a child anymore... release the girl!"  
>"Ngh" I groaned, licking the still bleeding wound lustily. I could hear the bones creak in her body but I didn't release her from my embrace. I wasn't nearly as quenched as I would have liked... as I remembered in Nahuel and me's care free debauching days.<p>

There was recession, as Joham had announced to the city's already suffering vampire population-a ruse to keep his hold tightened really; so times were hard, we could only feed twice a week and share humans... he always left them neat while I tended to ruin them and mangle them up.

I let her drop finally and for certain, her spine was broken.

"I don't like tasting your venom" I grumbled and he frowned violently.

"You don't like tasting my venom?" he asked "You tasted it this morning and licked your lips telling me how good I taste and now you _don't like tasting my venom?_"  
>I blushed furiously; not for the reminder of the oral sex but for the slip up. If there was one thing I didn't quite know how to stomach after embarrassment, was mental embarrassment. How anyone could stand to be stupid was beyond me...<p>

"I meant on my meal" I said, following his irritated fast walk through the alley and into the busy street.

"Good save..." he sighed "Not good enough, sweet Renesme"

"Ten points for trying, right" I said softly and he ignored the statement, he ignored the soft smile I had when I said it. Such a Jacob thing to say...

I wonder if Charles says little interesting things like that too.

Xx~xx~xX

"What did you do!?" Nahuel hissed. I wanted to tell him that whispering when we were being escorted up to Joham's penthouse by two vampires, in a narrow elevator no less... was irrecoverably stupid.

But that would be the same as just calling him 'stupid'. And if all my theories were wrong about Joham, and he did indeed kill me... then I could afford to call Nahuel stupid 'just for kicks'. But then again, I liked being right... and if I was right as I arrogantly knew I was, then calling him 'stupid' and then living to after our little visit to his Father would result in either my submission while he thrashed me...

Or my temper flaring and having a few venom bites leaving scars all over my body; next to the ones I had from being hunted and fed on by vampires who liked to 'spice up' their meal choices with 'rare delicacies'.

"I don't know" I whispered instead. He huffed and remained silent.

He was just... impatient.

Impatient with his vampire-given intelligence, that is.

"Why are you smiling?" he whispered again.

"Nothing"  
>"You are crazy" he mumbled.<p>

That's just like calling me _dangerous, _mon fatal amour.

So thank you.

Xx~xx~xX

"Sweet Nessie" he whispered, pulling me away from Nahuel's side and holding me to him in a weird hug "My other daughter!"

"Hmm" I murmur into his shirt.

"It is like that isn't it?" Joham asks, surveying me "You are my stepchild, hmm?"

"Hmm" I don't open my mouth, opting to keep my gaze firmly on his leather shoes and safely away from being pulled into Flora's hypnotic glare.

"I heard you disappeared from us" Joham tutted "Very naughty Renesme. You know I go out of my way to give you somewhat of a civilised living in this harsh violent environment... and you go disappearing with no explanation of were you went except that 'you needed to go'?"

"Very bad" Flora murmurs.

"You nearly broke Nahuel's heart..." Joham murmurs. The room is large and filled with hard unmoving beautiful large bodies. Body guards. "I had to convince him that he didn't need to follow you"  
>I snap my eyes to meet his glinting red eyes. I wish I was really truly stuck in my own world right now; a world were I had a sporting chance to escape his nearly impenetrable new defences and run back to the sanctuary of my father's arms with no fear of Nahuel's new deranged form (a derangement I was sure was born out of having a half human mind being compelled once to many times) chasing after me screaming blue murder. And in my little world, if he did chase me... I could defend myself thoroughly. I could strike at him with no fear of venom or torn bleeding limbs attaching themselves torturously over a space of ten days rendering me incapable of hunting...<p>

In a world were I wasn't so deductive and intelligent and simultaneously an emotional idiot. A world where I didn't tell a threat when it was made because I was just a simple Amazon Goddess who didn't think so much...

"Convince him by Flora?" I quirked an eyebrow up and Joham smiled.

"Your mother did say you picked up a few bad traits from that _dog_" he sighed. "But it would be most unfortunate regardless if you decided to go vacationing..."  
>"It was only a day" I murmured<p>

"... without your mate" he continued fluidly, ignoring my anxious stammering "And I had to send _Flora _to retrieve you"  
>"And maybe Flora doesn't like travelling alone" Flora breathed. "Maybe Flora will bring... Juanita?"<p>

"It won't happen again, Joham..." I said quickly, ignoring her heavy threat "I sweat to you"

"Your mother is a very difficult woman to manage" he sighed, spinning my head with his quick nonchalance after threatening my family.

You are the one who brainwashed her into thinking she was God's better half when she was already bad enough thinking she was born first before Jesus, I want to say but instead "Oh" comes out of my mouth.

"But I must not lose fait in Flora's gift" he murmurs, mostly to himself. "We have grand plans, Renesme..."

He moved to the centre of the room and the bulky vampires rearranged themselves around him.

"You see, it really is all about territory at the end of the day" Joham murmured. "But for me... it's about finding a bigger laboratory with more species; who cares about humans and blood?" 

Every vampire...?

Except... a select few. A loved few... my family...

They were the true Gods-beyond blood and tarnished hunger.

"I control this City and three territories around it..." Joham said bored "But I have been here too long and now, someone wants to knock on my door and demand entry. There is a war at hand and I had thought I was much more... I wouldn't say intelligent..."

Yes you would.

"... but I hear Raul has six werewolves with him" Joham breathed "And of course that is a bit of a problem. I do wish I had a few dogs too. I bet if I had dogs, mine would be so well behaved... you would train them for me, wouldn't you Renesme?"

"Regardless..." he continued, ignoring my slight enraged shuddering "I know you are a lot more intelligent that you seem with those big eyes and pouty lips!"

"You know exactly what has me on edge of late, don't you?" he asked, appearing in front of me and trailing a long index finger contemplatively down my cheek. I can't take your boy as long as Aro still has interest for him... and Isabella is difficult to manage from a distance and I can only leave it to our 'perfect love' to trust she hasn't sold me out to Caius. Such is the problem of having a power hungry whore for a mate, eh?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"But you aren't power hungry, with such creamy skin and pink rosy cheeks..."

"Joham..." Nahuel warned and three vampire males growled at him. He snapped his jaw shut with a resounding clink then, my brave dark knight.

"I could make it so he is here with us..." Joham continued, boring into my eyes-his voice lowered and hot "And you never have to miss him again"

I was certain he had somehow grabbed Flora's talent right then and wielded it in his own hooded eyes that thrummed at my heart.

"I don't care about these territories and the war Raul is baying for" He sighed, cupping my cheek "It can all go to hell, as long as I have you... sweet Renesme"

"If having me means having my son" I said controlled "Then kill me now"

He released his cold hand from my skin and glowered viciously at me, his sharp features pulling in a weird stone manner and eyes shining with hate "You know you will not stand a chance if I decide to release this pathetic city and let Raul have his way? I will take my children and go... that boy will come to me eventually, that is my only business with you!"

"If Aro and Caius don't come to you before that" I whispered and his hand flew threw the air and collided with my face in a sickening slap that pushed my conscious through my mind and sent me into a nauseating sleep.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

Joham always gets his way. Always.

And all my grandeur last seconds when I wake up and realise that after ridding his world of the Volturi and bring the utmost God of Power, he wants the ultimate species.

Joham always gets what he wants... but maybe this time he will get what he _deserves._

I know that lesson all to well.

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Thoughts, suggestions, likes and dislikes... always welcome, so leave a review or a pm **

**Xx**

**Tj **


	25. The Samurai Way

**THE SAMURAI WAY**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN**

"No, I wouldn't be too concerned if I were you" I sighed. She huffed once and played with a lock of her hair-an old human habit she did when she didn't get her way immediately. "I am not interfering with it, mother"

"All I am saying..." Esme breathed touching my hand lightly and peering up at me; imploring me "Go talk to him"

"And say what?" I chuckled "'Be a better Father even though you think and feel like a sixteen year old'?" I raised an eyebrow and she pursed her lips.

"Ahhh!" she sighed, pouting a little and watching Jacob and Charles squabbling down bellow on the front lawn. "I couldn't imagine you fighting with Renesme over her having the last piece of cake!"

"No..." I whispered "But maybe we should have fought about these inconsequential things, rather than... her drinking human blood?"  
>She stiffened slightly and held her pose in front of my bedroom window, her hair moving as the wind blew warm air through the open window. She was trying to think up what words to say, fearing she had cast my emotions into gloom. They had been in gloom for a while now, I want to tell her but I hug her shoulders instead.<p>

"It looks serious" I murmur into her ear "There may even be a few bruises and blood when Jacob and Charles are done... but their love will remain whole and intact"

"He is sitting on his son!" she squeaked pointing down below at Jacob seated on Charles back and pulling his son's hair like the reins of a horse. It lasted a second before Charles spun him over and pushed Jacob's nose up with his finger, asking Jacob if he could smell the chocolate cake.

"They aren't serious" I sighed again "Rough housing"

"Over a piece of cake?" she stressed "Is that normal?"  
>"He is a wolf and his child is the same age as him, is that normal?"<br>"Oh, you are so unagreeable!" she snapped, waltzing out of my room "I'll get Emmett to knock some sense into them"

Esme had no real understanding of the nature of young men due to her coddling ways. She had less patience for violence, and tended to think that even play fighting was a sign of latent aggression. She wouldn't have faired well being the den mother of the Quileute wolves when there had been ten of them...

She was also being tense about the trip-which I had convinced Carlisle that she should not be a part off. She and Alice would remain to help with keeping Forks as boring and dreary as it had always been, alongside Embry and the younger wolves.

I watched mystified as Emmett strutted across the lawn, shimmering where the sun fell on him and picked Charles up effortlessly by the collar of his flannel shirt (he had just come from having a heated argument with Alice about the article of clothing) and held him raised off the ground before tossing him casually to the left were Charles fell with a heavy thud a few feet off.

"Respect your elders, kid" he murmured, ruining the line Esme had told him to deliver to Charles on 'a respectable gentleman and good conduct'.

"Yeah!" Jacob growled, rising from the ground and dusting his cargo pants "Respect me! I am your elder!"

"Real mature, _elder_" Charles scoffed shaking a bruised arm lightly and glaring at Emmett "You sprained my wrist!"

"Uhhh, that will heal... I think..." Emmett looked behind him, wondering on how to conduct the situation and not end up being pulled into Charles and Jacob's contagious immaturity-praying Esme wasn't listening. She was... intently.

"And you..." Emmett continued, pointing a finger sternly at a sulking Jacob "No sitting on your son... especially if he is stronger than you and can kick your ass"

"Exactly!" Charles agreed "Emmett, you are wise beyond your years...!"

"My _decades, _kid" Emmett breathed haughtily and I stifled a snort.

"He is only stronger because I am not in wolf form!" Jacob snarled taking an aggressive step forward towards Charles, who instinctively took several back.

"And Charles..." Emmett continued, grinning impishly "No eating the last piece of cake"  
>"Leah made it for me" Charles said, smiling knowingly at Jacob "It was out of sheer <em>courtesy <em>that I even bothered to _share_"  
>"I..." Jacob stammered and Emmett stared at both of them in confusion. He was in over his head; this wasn't about chocolate cake directly. "I am going to chew your ass...!"<br>"If you can catch it" Charles breathed, already spinning on his heels before Jacob could rip out of his shorts. He stormed into the woods, a mane of blackened burgundy hair and Charles wild cackling the only evidence of his existence. Jacob pushed clumsily past a bewildered Emmett-the russet wolf snarling and growling after the uncontrolled hooting in the distance.

"What the fuck just happened?" Emmett breathed, staring at the spot Jacob had been.

"You made it worse!" Esme cried emerging from the house.

"I told you not to interfere" I sighed softly and she turned her head up at me-at the window high up from were she stood on the lawn-and pouted, thinking on how she would now have to badger Carlisle into giving Charles and Jacob a lecture.

Maybe that was the fault in all mothers-Bella included; they wanted to interfere at the slightest disturbance instead of letting their children learn their own way.

Xx~xx~xX

"It's going to be a short trip" Jasper breathed, sorting the papers and passports out quickly "Aliases and such organised naturally..."

"I wouldn't have picked a better location myself" I cut him before he could voice it out "Isle Esme... we would be alone there"  
>"And we can infiltrate the main land and leave just as unnoticed" he murmured, grinning. "Being pale is a hindrance"<p>

"Yes, it is..." I chuckled. "There was one hindrance I was wondering if you had felt recently?"  
>"What?" he asked, moving everything into a black folder.<p>

"Jacob..." I started and then took in a deep breath "...and Leah"

"Oh?" he grinned. _You don't need to worry about that!_

"I know he is a lot more mature on the matter than Charles is" I sighed "But that might have everything to do with knowing that Charles is Leah's imprint"

"It isn't that serious" Jasper sighed-humour still in his eyes "I feel it from people all the time; attraction"

"Just attraction?"

"I really can't tell you" he breathed, patting my shoulder lightly "Like I said; it isn't that serious so I don't bother myself with the trials of the furry and restless"

Xx~xx~xX

"Hold it perpendicular and firmly" I instruct "Brace your legs; shoulders levelled..." 

He pursed his lips in concentration, his eyes set on the large block of wood with the manikin's head screwed at the top and changed his stance to the specifications I had asked of him. One might say he looked fierce standing a good few feet away from the training prop; hair moving languidly through the air around his angular face with startling eyes, shoulders broad and muscled and height perfect to display his good physique. One who didn't know that an hour ago the warrior standing so tensely in the clearing wielding a elegantly curved samurai sword had had an argument with his Grandfather on leaving the television show-Sponge Bob Square Pants-to go and train so he would be better equipped to defend his life...

"Tightly, Charles" I sighed, I hated training him at times "Not too tight, the way you would hold a..."  
>"Woman" Emmett offered and Jacob snorted.<p>

"If you are not going to be useful...!" Charles began, dropping his stance in favour of glaring at Jacob (although it had been Emmett who had deliberately broken his concentration) "Then go back into the house and watch your damned _Gossip Girl"_

Jacob spluttered and Emmett raised an eyebrow looking at Jacob suspiciously, Embry letting out a billowing series of blasts of air from his nose-a wolf chuckle.

"He was watching Sponge Bob!? That's a cartoon!" Jacob tried pointing at Charles accusingly.

"Dude, everyone knows Sponge Bob rules" Emmett tutted "Gossip Girl is just so..."  
>"Gay" Seth murmured. "I can't believe I have to call you Alpha!"<p>

"I can't believe you are homophobic" Jacob challenged

"Is this you coming out then?" Seth grinned.

"You know what I meant!" Jacob snapped.

"Listen!" I growled "When I pulled Charles off of you..."  
>"Hey, that was only because I can't turn Wolf in the middle of the lounge if I want to kick his ass and watch television...!" Jacob protested.<p>

"My point exactly!" I yelled "I took him away from the television room so you could watch your Rumour..."

"Gossip Girl" Jacob corrected and Charles snorted.

"He did that deliberately, dude..." Seth murmured

"Like a 'Rhetorical Blunder' or something" Emmett said seriously

"Vampires don't forget...?" Jacob pieced it all together airily and Seth and Emmett burst out laughing.

"Just get the hell out of here!" I roared, rubbing the space between my eyes. They paused their hooting and muttered audibly and mentally how wound up I was "I have a lot on my mind..."  
>"I would think so..." Jacob breathed skipping after Seth into the denser encroaching of the woods around the little clearing "Hearing other people's thoughts on top of your own thoughts can do that to you"<p>

"So you want to be Samurai Jack there, Charlie..." Emmett began and I groaned "What?"  
>"You too, Emmett" I sighed. "Leave, please"<p>

"Yeah, leave!" Charles said insolently "And don't call me Charlie!"

"Fake Ninja with your Polo wearing Sensei" Emmett threw in "Call me when you need a wrestling dummy next, I am your man"

"We know" Charles and I breathed concurrently.

Xx~xx~xX

"How is the..."  
>"Your imprint has the attention span of a squirrel in heat" I sighed.<p>

"My imprint but your blood..." she paused "Uhm, venom...?"  
>"Venom will do"<br>"Uh, okay... venom relative" she finished. _Is venom thicker that blood...?_

"Yes" I answered her wayward thoughts "But apparently ADD is a more deadly contagious infection than venom"

"You know if I had my way he wouldn't go" she said seriously

"We all know, even Charles knows Leah"

"Right" she said nodding her head "Just so we are clear"

"I am glad you are coming..." I murmured, watching her pull out a bottle of chocolate spread easily from where Charles had thought he had hidden it-intolerable troublemaker "Jacob and Charles are..."

"Unbearable?" she asked quirking an eyebrow up "Now you know what it was like for me back when the pack had ten thousand horny wolves with pent up..."  
>"You do realise that you are a wolf so that applies to you too?" I smiled at her.<p>

"You do realise that if I had an erection, you wouldn't be able to tell?"  
>"Poor Jacob" I chuckled-her memory of Jacob taking forever to emerge from his bedroom when Sam had decided to have an unannounced meeting at the Black residence.<p>

"Yeah, poor him" she murmured, chewing her bread awkwardly, chocolate spread tinting her lips and escaping from the corners. "I say let them..."  
>"Exactly what I said!" I cut her and she raised an eyebrow irritated. "Uh, you know... let them tear in to each other"<p>

"It would have been nice to finish my sentence" she sighed, taking a seat on the island. "When do we leave?"  
>"Soon" I breathed tense "Very soon. Everything had been organised... just... making sure we are prepared past the technicalities"<br>"Right" she breathed in equal tenseness "Charles and the training and such"

"Partly" I murmured "But hopefully we can just leave him on the island and find Renesme ourselves, with no incidents... you could stay with him together with Jacob"

"Hmm" she nodded "That gives me _some _measure of comfort-just the convincing them to stay on the island part while you guys go off to the action seems unimaginable..."  
>"Jacob can't very well turn into a giant wolf in the middle of the city and Charles..." I stopped realising fully that just as Leah pondered on the confusing feelings she felt for the childish man-I too, was lost in reminiscing on the time he had long greasy hair and a perpetual sulk hidden behind a thick hoody.<p>

Alice had gotten rid of the many hoodies, the hair had no chance of being greasy unless he deliberately poured cooking oil over his head... and the sulk had turned into brooding pensiveness in rare instances he was left alone by either Emmett or Jacob (who would be off somewhere brooding too).

"Just make sure he can defend himself" Leah breathed "I mean... I would stop a speeding bullet for him but I need to know he can dodge the bullets alone once I am down."

"If he doesn't argue with you about who has to put their lives in front of the gun first" I said absently.

"I am not getting used to this!" she confessed "I promised it would be the same... I promised him and yet I can't handle this! I don't want him to go off onto some warped haphazard badly planned mission, no offence..."

"None taken" I murmured, waving my hand for her continue

"... and it feels selfish because at the end of the day, when the sun sets and those of us who can sleep doze off... Renesme is his mother. I know what I would do for Sue... and that's what scares me. What would he do for Renesme?"

"He wouldn't risk you" I answered easily "But I know what I would do for Esme... and I have no imprint"  
>"But you have a son?" she asked with wide terrified eyes "Argh, it's always been me watching him, keeping him safe... and now there is everyone and I just want you all to go..." she paused, her heart hammering much faster and then finished in a small voice "I am sorry"<p>

"No, Leah..." I said seriously "There is nothing to be sorry about. Wasn't it you who said facts were not for the light hearted?"  
>"Yeah but..."<p>

"...but _nothing_" I cut her sternly and added lightly. "Your imprint needs a hair cut"

"He does, doesn't he?" she sighed. "I have to go, therapy is over and you're still a sparkling leech"

"I am, aren't I?" I murmured "And one last thing, Leah...? Next time you bake Charles a cake; just bake a complimentarily cupcake for Jacob?"

Her eyes widened momentarily, her thoughts spluttering before she bolted through the door. Such a change from the vile beauty that flew through a vampire house to curse out the girl who had broken her Alpha's heart.

And even in her new found jumpiness... I had no doubt that Leah Clearwater had no qualms about swimming with sharks... with a bleeding paper-cut. Of course it made one wonder what would melt such a resilient passion to nerves and 'baking'.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**CHARLES BLACK**

It was quiet in the woods, the sun dipping elegantly behind the dark canopy of pine and redwood. The thick trees formed a trembling barrier around the expanse of shrubs and grass that made up the clearing. It was cool and the quiet was natural; filled with the distant chirping of birds and various inadequate animals scurrying around. They didn't come too close to my perimeter-Emmett's scent still lingered in the air strong, sugary and perilous.

The errant ray glinted gently on the tip of the blade before oozing down the shaft and merging with the silvery metal of the blue meteorite blade. It seemed to pull on the light and hold it in its core, flinging it in different dark beams of sapphire...

A gift from Carlisle. A fallen star constructed into a samurai blade by ancient warriors with an almost lost skill-all of it held by a heavy chrome coated tungsten handle with diamonds studded along the length of the grip.

Real diamonds...

I was holding about fifteen million dollars in my hands with the 'harder than vampire teeth blade' and platinum enriched handle with chrome and tungsten...

"Why are you grinning at the sword?" Leah asked. I looked up and sniffed the air lightly, frowning when her chai spice scent was no where to be found in the cool air; she was down wind of me. I turned around and saw her leaning casually against a tree, her hair blowing around her face. She had let her hair grow out to just past her shoulders... framing her face gently.

"Uhm..." I realised how stupid I looked still poised in my attacking stance with the weapon held tightly in my hand and straightened myself, leaning on the sword with forced nonchalance "It said something rather witty to me"  
>"Did it now?" she grinned, sauntering from under the shadows "What did it say?"<p>

"I look like a bad ass Genghis Khan with my rugged good looks and 'guns'" I murmured.

"You are such a nerd" she breathed, rolling her eyes before looking at me strangely "Funnily, Genghis Khan had red hair, green eyes and glittering skin apparently" she covered the distance languidly while I watched her silently, keeping my breathing steadied.

"I don't have glittering skin" I mumbled as she touched my hair contemplatively "And my hair isn't really red-more of a brown or a..."  
>"Bronze?" she quirked an eyebrow before rolling her eyes.<p>

"And its only really at the ends!" I defended.

"Speaking of 'ends'" she sighed releasing the strands bored "You have two of them on a single lock"  
>"I do not have split ends!" I yelled in indignation, grabbing a lock and surveying it "You see... shiny and healthy!"<p>

"And filthy"

"My hair isn't filthy"

"Mangy... mangy... mangy" she chanted, doing a weird Indian rain dance around me, her hands waving left and right in time with her jumping and head shaking "Genghis Khan the mangy haired red head!"

"Real _mature_, Clearwater" I sighed "If you haven't come to watch my superior skill with the samurai blade..."

"It's called a _katana_" she rolled her eyes.

"What do you know about it?" I asked her and she gave me a blush inducing impish grin.

"I did a lot of travelling in my day" she murmured and I frowned. I hated being reminded that she had 'days' to 'travel' without me... even though I didn't exist at the time. Jacob's voice boomed in the back of my mind on how I was not to let the 'selfish nature' of the imprint overwhelm me...

He came up with that new slogan after pointing out that Leah's dark denims cupped certain things just right... idiot father... and idiot Embry who agreed to said statement...

"... went to a few places..." she reached for the katana and I tried to ignore how she was sure not to make contact with my hand "...and learnt a few things..." she thrust the blade swiftly through the air, her hair whipping in the opposite direction and body moving easily to an elegant coiled point.

"So you are a samurai?" I asked watching as a distant look consumed her features and she thrust her body tensely left in a lowered form-the sword pushed outwards to jab at nothingness. "What does a giant wolf with daggers for teeth need to gain from knowing of the Samurai way?"  
>"Unlike Jacob Black..." she breathed, holding the katana horizontally above her head "I can hold my own on two legs, even against bloodsuckers..."<p>

"Oh" I breathed-suddenly intimidated by the knowledge and skill she held past being a Shapeshifter. Suddenly intimidated by the fact that Carlisle had a collection of katana's, Edward was a master at them (Edward was good at _everything_) and Emmett and Jasper... Well, if you could live forever, you could afford to learn a few added things...

"I was too drunk to complete the training regardless..." she sighed, moving through another stance "And the idiot sensei quit on me to top it all off"  
>"Why?" I asked her and she brought her stances back to a straight line, bowing her head behind the raised sword held in her prayer hands.<p>

"I called him a chauvinistic pig with bad skin"

"Maybe you shouldn't have told him he had bad skin..." I laughed.

"But how else would he have known?" she asked raising an eyebrow "Honesty is the best policy"

"I just mean you were tactless there, Clearwater" I said in fake seriousness. "You should have given him some facial wash and _then_ told him he was a chauvinistic pig"

"That is a better much more sensitive approach, I agree" she grinned.

"I get my kindness from my grandfather" I chuckled

"Which one?" she asked

"The one who threw a tree at me because I was five minutes late for training..."

"Yep, sounds like patient loving Eddie" she grinned handing me back the katana. "So, I hear that cuts through marble..."  
>"Like butter" I chuckled. "Maybe I'll get to butter some marble on to dry bread when we get to South America"<br>"...or maybe you can just stick to messing up the woods with wood chippings" she snapped, jerking her head to the almost completely destroyed once dense wood stump with a concrete pole centre... the manikin head laying lonely a few feet off.

"What's up with...?"  
>"Just get your butt moving!" she hissed walking off, already tugging at her tank-top with no warning, leaving me spinning around with wide eyes anxiously staring at the sky "You have an appointment with the barber"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

Charlie Swan seemed to be getting grumpier with age. He held the newspaper in front of him, his feet raised petulantly on his footstool and the television blaring besides him being fully aware that he was housing supernatural beings with exponentially acute senses.

"Is Edward with you?" he asked after both Jacob and I huffed 'hello' awkwardly, Leah throwing in a snarky 'must've run out of Viagra finally' under her breath.

"Uhm..." I looked at Jacob and he shrugged. "No"

"Good" Charlie sighed, dropping the newspaper (that had been upside down) beside him and looking at us closely "I get tired of his guilt and gloom sometimes..."  
>"You know he can hear your thoughts?" I asked him perplexed. He stared at me for a second, and then frowned before looking to Sue. She nodded her head and he fell back in his seat.<p>

"Then why did he never go away when I thought it!?" he yelled "Or not marry and impregnate my teenage daughter? Or stop talking about how sorry he is when I had been singing 'blah blah blah, go away' in my mind?"

This had been the loudest and longest Charlie had talked without prodding. We stood still in the living room staring at him as though he had grown an extra more talkative head.

"Hears thoughts..." he snorted, picking up the newspaper again, the right side up this time "...and yet he never understood his wife, the irony"  
>"Uhm, he can't hear Isabella's thoughts" I breathed and he peered from above the newspaper. "She is the only one and then..."<p>

"And they say I give away secrets" Jacob chuckled nudging Leah, who hissed "_The apple doesn't fall far from the tree"_

"And then here you stand before me..." Charlie shook his head "Looking like _them_. So what special trick can you do, hmm? Poop gold?"  
>"Uh no..." I mumbled<p>

"My son poops _platinum_" Jacob said majestically and Leah snorted.

"I bet you use four-ply" Charlie finished, hiding behind his newspaper once more "Do whatever it is you came to do and then get the hell out of my house; I am too old for this Harry Potter bullshit"

"Charlie, language!" Sue gasped.

"Your daughter swears like a sailor, start there Sue" he mumbled audibly to every super powered ear except Sue's fragile ones.

Xx~xx~xX

"Why didn't we just do this at our place?" I asked her.

"This is the last night, Charles" she breathed setting up the comb and scissors next to me on the bed "Those grumpy old people down there are your grandparents... the normal ones. Enjoy them while they still remember your name"

"Where is Jacob?"

"You seriously want him here when I am holding a sharp object over your head?" she asked raising an eyebrow "I could give you a Justin Bieber hair do with Jacob in the room"

"He has that effect on people" I murmured remembering the dithering blushing girl at the food mart.

"Jake's gone to Paul... I mean Billy's. The old Billy" she explained. "Seth is with Sam and here we are"

"Here we are..." I said blankly, staring at the strange room "In your room"  
>"Bella's room" she corrected. "I just lodge here occasionally"<p>

"It's sad"

"I know" she sighed, staring at the same picture I was looking at; a picture of four teenagers smiling freely stuck on a small board on the east wall. I got up from the bed and went to study the little notice board; a picture of Edward and Isabella was stuck perfectly straight next to the teenage photo-this one was worn and bent at the corners.

"She looks so different" I whispered touching the image of the wide eyes pasty girl experimentally "So... harmless"

"As harmless as a rattle snake" Leah said. There was a small black leather bound folder bellow the notice board, it was dusted and stained. "That's Pack photo's mixed with some stuff Sue forced me to keep..."

I opened it and the first picture in it was of Harry Clearwater; young and with drooping eyes that suggested a tired annoyed person. The next photo was of Sue as a girl, a young beautiful girl with a stubborn mouth.

"You kook like your mum" I told Leah and she shrugged her shoulders.

"You should have seen my grandmother..." she said "Now there is a Leah if ever!"  
>Seth came next as a baby, with a towering toddler Leah gazing at him with mild tolerance as he drooled on her pigtail.<p>

"Do I have baby pictures?" I asked her and she sighed.

"Of course you do"  
>"Where are they?"<p>

"Safe, there aren't many copies and I am not up to sharing with beings who can remember the number of hairs you had when you were six easily..." she said seriously "But you can see them all you want of course..."

I flipped through the photos quickly, Leah dictating the story behind some and pointing out how most of the pictures of her and Seth as kids were forced in by her mum. I stopped abruptly in the middle part of the thick picture album and she peered over my shoulder.

She stood leaning against a silver car, her hair billowing so obviously around her face even in the stillness of the image and a shy smile on her face. Her eyes were turned not to gaze into the lens... but to stare at the tall man leaning easily by her side with his arm draped around her shoulders.

"I thought I burn all of these!" she hissed grabbing the album from my hands. I remained frozen by Isabella's little desk. "Argh!"  
>"It's okay Leah" I murmured, rising up slowly.<p>

"It's... okay?" she paused her frustrated picking of the photo-trying to release it from the tape keeping it secured on the page.

"I mean... the photo..." I pointed at the album suddenly conscious that she was staring at me with terrified _x-raying _eyes-terrified she could hear and feel the way my heart was shaking and thrashing inside me. "I mean... you know, you having a past"

"Huh?"

"Maybe lets just get to the hair cutting, hmm?" I laughed nervously and she threw the album casually back onto the desk, watching me cautiously.

"Take a seat" she instructed and I lowered myself slowly onto the bed.

Xx~xx~xX

Have you ever gazed up at the sun when you were a kid and tried to have a stare down with it? That's what it felt like as Leah looked intently at my face, brushing my hair in a swift soothing motion and holding my chin with one hot index finger.

"I need to cut a bit more from your left side" she breathed and I tried to hold my breath, failing almost as soon as I tried to do it and being engulfed by cranberry and chai spices. She tilted my head lightly to the right so the left side would be raised and my stupid head lolled all the way like it had no brain in it.

"Charles stop fooling around!" she snapped, removing her finger and hand from my head and reaching for the scissors "I will seriously give you a Justin Bieber pre-Selena Gomez hair do"  
>"It worries me that you know he is with Selena Gomez" I murmured hoarsely and then coughed once when a lump crawled up my throat and sat there when she scooted deliberately between my legs and her fingers pulled at my hair from my roots till the ends.<p>

"It worries me that you take it lightly that small people are going to rule the world" she said in a low voice, her brown eyes tracing something on me. "I say research on them and learn their language quickly"  
>"You know what stumps me" I breathed, blinking rapidly to stop my eyes from being shrivelled up from gazing at this mega sun for too long "Is why I am getting a hair cut"<br>"Its either this or you let Alice style you" she said raising an eyebrow.

"Continue..." I murmured and she went back to tormenting me with her long fingers thrumming the strands of my hair.

There was no need to feel like this, I whispered to my heart, mind and other parts. When was a hair cut ever included in seduction one-oh-one? There was no need for me to feel like she was deliberately trying to drive me insane with jumping nerves...

"There was something I have been meaning to tell you" I whispered and her left large beautiful eye swivelled quickly to meet mine-and cause me to look away just as rapidly-before resuming its concentrated dance on her fingers and scissors ministration on my hair.

"Then tell me" she sighed, scooting the stool she sat on further between my legs and leaning a hand on my thigh.

"Uhm..." what was that thing I wanted to tell her? She removed her hand from my leg when my leg jumped up in a series of blurring uncontrolled spasms and retracted her hand in fake indifference before placing it carefully on the bed.

"It's about..." I paused and she leaned back from me, placing the scissors and small comb next to me on the bed. She sat straight and poised opposite me on the small stool but I could tell she had realised how impossibly close she had gotten to me in a bid to prove she could cut hair as good as any vampire...

She cleared her throat, studying her nails as though they held the cure to every disease known to man.

"I know about the imprint" I said quickly and her leg shot across the floor and rammed into my still one suddenly. "I know about you and then..." I pointed at my chest and then at her and then dropped my hand pathetically.

"Who told you?!" she demanded, leaning back forward-this time the awkward fear of being electrocuted by any such closeness to her twisted violently to something more intense and less... decadent.

"No one..." I began and she cut me swiftly.

"Jacob" she said sneering "He told you, didn't he?"  
>"It doesn't matter" I shrugged "I know"<p>

She stopped her anger-that had been a ruse to cover up the fleeting fear and frantic panic working behind her eyes and stared at the far off corner of the room. I expected her to get up and put some distance between us-breathing room or running room... something...

"It's okay, Leah" I said in the same soft tone I had used when I saw the picture of her and Sam. "We are cool, right?"

"The thing about the imprint..." she began "The reason I hadn't told you..."  
>"You know what I think" I said softly, my hand twitching out to her "I think its not about you looking after me..."<br>"I don't..." she started, her eyes shining with liquid.

"Or you making me happy" I murmured and she shook her head in disbelief.

"Or you... becoming..." I stuttered and then took in a shaky breath "my lover..."

"I think its about us" I told her and a single tear fell down her cheek "And it isn't as complicated as making someone happy or being their mate or whatever. It's about just being there; never being alone. Standing as one... not joined in holy matrimony or whatever but just... _caring_"

I held her hands in mine, this time her hands resting on my knees without any jerking "And because its about us, Leah... I want you to be happy"

"Charles..." she whispered but I shook my head adamantly.  
>"I want you to have..." I looked into her eyes and she didn't look away but I knew then that just as she was the sun to me, so too was I her sun "I want you to have the little house in the woods with a..."<p>

I paused abruptly, a pined smile on my face that disintegrated to an unsure quirk. Have you ever tried looking at the sun when you were a kid, and really trying to gaze at it so you could really see what it was past the bright hot light...? That's what it was like looking at Leah and until this moment before I uttered those somehow hard words... I always managed to blink before I could really see what she was behind the burning light.

My heart thudded violently in my chest and I almost thought it was only me with the conga beat before I realised hers was echoing my tempo beat for beat in a more elegant dance. This was the moment when I blinked...

"With a what, Charles?" she asked softly, her eyelids falling slightly but not enough to hide her dilated pupils from me.

"With a..." I breathed but when I finally managed to blink, praying that the blinding lights would return and I wouldn't be falling into her eyes-she remained solid and revealed before me "With a kid..."

"A kid?" she asked.

"Yeah" I nodded vehemently "A baby and a... good husband... in a little house in the woods. Like you always wanted"

"Oh, Charles..." she smiled and I released her hands-quickly wiping her tears away.

"I just want you to be happy, Leah" I whispered stroking her cheek. I scooted forward awkwardly and kissed her forehead; she shuddered behind my lips but allowed the motion. "You're the bravest person I know"

"I guess you haven't met yourself!" she chuckled but then a weird gulping sound worked its way through her throat. "Charles..." she squeaked and I groaned.

"Please don't cry!" I said desperately rubbing her shoulders. "You never cry, Lee"  
>"Yes I do!" she said "I just don't let anyone see me...<em>ever<em>... and now you... and I am crying... I don't know what's wrong with me..."  
>"Leah" I murmured and pulled her into my arms. She protested a little, trying to get her arms over mine and hold <em>me <em>to _her_ but gave up when I wouldn't allow her.

"I love you, Charles" she whispered into my chest and something in me tensed hard and didn't release even after she calmed down and finished my haircut. It merged solidly with my conquering of the burning lights of her sun. I didn't say it back...

Because I knew that although we had always been on the same page, this wasn't one of those times.

It wouldn't have matched her 'I love'.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"I hate flying" Jacob grumbled. "Don't you hate flying?"

"I guess..." I murmured and he nodded and then turned to Emmett beside him and asked the same question.

"I prefer swimming" Emmett answered "But Rosalie and her hair..."

"You should just tell Blondie to get a swimming cap" Jacob muttered, nudging himself lower in his seat. "What's eating you, Fuzz?"

"Nothing" I grumbled, staring at the back of Edward's head. He was seated to rows up to out right at the end of the row, besides Jasper and Carlisle. He turned his head slowly, never fully and then resumed talking to Jasper.

I braved my nerves and looked back quickly, past several heads. Immediately I met umber eyes. She smiled freely at me and my eyes widened in response-no smile was returned. I sat back properly in my seat, tensing noticeably.

"Charles?" Jacob asked and I shook my head rigidly. "Okay, fine... it isn't like I want to discuss _feelings_" he lied.

_Edward..._ I thought with purpose, pushing at the front of my mind. He turned his head deliberately again, this time cocking it in place. _I did something I think I shouldn't have..._

"Continue" he murmured, startling Jasper with his random word.

_I made a promise... _I began and then sighed _I promised something I thought I could... give but then giving it feels like..._

"The best gift is always something you yourself will miss dearly" he answered cryptically. "And it shows maturity and deep love if it is indeed something you possess and treasure that you are giving away"

"Uh, thanks" I said and Jacob snorted before snoring softly, his head falling on to my shoulder heavily. I let it lay there, the heat of him bearable through the light shirt. He snuggled slightly closer, his breathing steadied and heart pumping long droning beats.

That was the thing, maybe. I didn't want to _possess a treasure._ I wanted to earn it.

Something about it was similar to the emotion that wheedled at my heart when it thought about fighting to free Renesme with my grandfather-as much as it would have been a dream to have Jacob there with us, he couldn't hide that he had little emotion for Renesme outside of curiosity. He didn't know her and I didn't fault him for that. He knew me and that was what mattered to him in the end.

And it hit me so suddenly, I felt like jumping of the plane and swimming back to Esme's ever loving arms. The greatest treasures couldn't be possessed; they had to be earned-fought for with unrelenting passion.

We would have to fight for her...

It seemed so much easier in theory when we were all just having fun as boys do. But where we were heading, there was a battle and we couldn't be boys in such a fight.

This was the pinnacle-the moment; and it would last a lifetime.

I had to become a warrior.

And with any warrior, there were sacrifices to be made. And this is how it would come that my youth would remain in Esme's ever loving arms.

**Xx~xx~xX**

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**RESPONSES**

**Hmm, in retrospect... I do agree that I may have rushed the last few chapters. Postponed the arrival date of the gang to help with that and keep the plot straight and narrow...**

**As always, I love your reviews and responses! Renesme is such a tragic victim of her own disaster... and in future we will see how much mother is just like daughter *hint*. I think this story aside from being about Charles impact on Leah, Jacob and Edward-it is really about the tragedy that is Renesme due to _Isabella_. And on that note I have some news...**

**I think I did say this story will have sequels... and as we near the end of the major themes, we head into the sequel which may be headlined as an entirely separate story. Like your 'New Moon' to your 'Twilight'. This is after I got irritated with my Avatar fic seeming so very long... **

**And on that note, I hope you enjoyed the Wolf Vampire family dynamics as much as I enjoyed writing them out...**

**Till next time**

**Xx Tj **


	26. Do Not Go Gentle into the Good Night

**DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THE GOOD NIGHT**

**X**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**_PART 1 OF THE TWO PART FINALE_: THE BRAVE**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**CHARLES BLACK**

Looking at Leah felt like looking at the sun.

Looking at the sun was better than looking at Leah, it didn't sting my eyes so much and I would never risk seeing the heart of its centre like I had done with Leah. What made it burn like that...? Did I want to know... of course I wanted to know; I was curious beyond my sanity. But knowing was the same as back-tracking on this thing I had given her.

I had turned into Pandora and in this Greek mythology, I had given away that exquisite box without so much as trying to open it for a little peek but that hadn't changed the story's end. As the box had been given away, so too was my interest peaked intensely... and although the end of the story had already been written before with the original Pandora...

Here I was fighting hook and nail not to be pulled into searching the box out and flinging the lid open, if not to quench this grating merciless curiosity for just a second... look past the burning of the sun's rays, see the core and then understand why it was so tempting, so desirable, a diamond... a glass of water in a desert... cognac to an alcoholic...

"Why are you staring at the sun?" Jacob asked, dropping beside me on the ground and crossing his legs like a giant over muscled kindergarten. He stared up frowning, his eyes squinting as he tried to look at the sun too. "You wondering if you are going to burn?" he nudged my side forcefully but I didn't pretend to _not_ be stronger than him "You get it, 'cos you a vampire..."  
>"Funny. Part vampire in any regards" I sighed wearily, ignoring his mumbling that I was turning into Edward "And even then, I am no half-vampire"<p>

"Half-Vampire" he breathed, all foolishness lost and a shadow falling over his eyes.

"Is it just me..."Leah said loudly, trudging up from the house "Or is Charles Edward Black avoiding me"  
>"I am not avoiding you!" I said quickly, rising from the sand and dusting the grains away from my pants. I looked to the light blue seas frenziedly, ignoring her form encroaching in the peripheral of my vision and obviously folding its arms and waiting on me to acknowledge her "Doesn't the sea look inviting, Jacob?"<br>"I thought we were all about staring at the sun and going blind today?" Jacob scoffed and I groaned.

"I think I will go and take a dive..." I began and she opened her mouth, preparing a tirade so I did the mature thing.

I sped to the sea, leaving their angered yelling as sand blew up over them in my supernatural speed.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

**JACOB BLACK**

"Your son is acting weird" Leah huffed. She sat next to me, reminding me distinctly of her irritating me on First Beach sometime long ago in my very near past.

"He is a hybrid _thingy_" I sighed, watching Charles wade in the waters waist deep, his back turned to us and shoulders slumped. "Weird is normal for him, cut him some slack. He must be worried about... Rainesme"  
>"You say it Ruh-Ne-smee" Leah said absently "Or Spawn. Here is an idea that I know will knock her socks off when her daddy and uncles find her..."<br>"What?"  
>"Call her Spawn" Leah grinned evilly. "Just... 'Hey, there... Spawn' will do"<br>"Won't she kill me?" I asked her-trying to coat my voice in humour but I was sure my eyes gave me away.

"No" Leah said with no conviction.

"Leah?"  
>"Yeah?"<br>"I am so scared" I whispered to her-unsure on whether Charles (who was already so tense about this) could here us from far off in the brightness of the beach front.

"Of Renesme?" Leah scoffed "Come on! I mean sure... she is a blood drinker now, but she doesn't know how to fight past her ballerina..."

"I mean of the imprint" I breathed and closed my eyes. "I am afraid of _seeing_ her"

"Oh" was all she managed.

"Imprint..." my voice came out pitched "I don't know shit and yet I have already..." my heart squeezed and released violently "And then I mean, you and Charles have it perfect... you aren't shackled and bound in some kind of S and M version of _love_..."

"Yeah" Leah sighed smiling at the distant man standing off in the waters "I don't know how it came to be that way, but its near perfect"  
>"Not helping Clearwater" I frowned "This is about me and my... non-imprint, I guess"<br>"Oh, right" Leah cleared her throat "Uhm... just, be you?"  
>"Be me?" I breathed incredulously "Be me? That's all you have for me?"<br>"Hey, I am not Oprah!" she defended "This has never happened before, what do you want from me?"  
>"Some sympathy!"<br>"I sympathise enough, Jake!" she said sternly "I sympathise that you breaking away from her was the best thing to ever happen to you since Isabella got married. But didn't you find a way past that into being her lapdog even when she wore a wedding ring? And do you remember what happened you went right back into her grasps?"

"Uh..."  
>"Yeah, 'uhhh'" she shook her head comically, purposefully bulging her eyes "A bunch of Undead people emerged, a war never happened and you imprinted on something that shouldn't exist"<br>"So what are you saying"  
>"Stop fucking worrying about Bella!" she hissed "Worry about <em>you<em>!"  
>"But she isn't..."<br>"I am making a point here, Jacob!" she cut her hand in the air in a no-nonsense manner, her eyes wide and mouth pursed "Do not interrupt!"  
>"But she isn't Bella...!"<p>

"Same mother-fucking principle!" Leah snapped "And right before you got imprinted you know what happened?"  
>"Uh...?" I blinked stupidly and then I remembered like it was yesterday... holding her while she was crying and kissing her forehead, staring into her brown eyes. But I couldn't have been sure if that was the memory she was having too... "Uhm, I guess... okay, never mind. I get you; stop forcing things or... obsessing or something. It will lead to... disaster or... something of the sort"<p>

"I am not saying that before I was..." she began shakily "I wasn't... but I mean, if that had happened... imagine the fucked up extra mess your 'worrying about Bella' would have created right about..."

"But it never really happened" I breathed and then coughed away the gravel in my voice.

"Thank God!" she laughed and I tried not to let that bug me at how 'grateful' she truly sounded.

"What happened before he imprinted?" Charles voice cut through the uneasy quiet and I jumped.

"Shit... you are almost as sneaky as a vampire!" I stuttered, getting up "Okay, thanks for the chat, Lee. Much appreciated"  
>"No problem" Leah said too loudly, getting up simultaneously and staring back at the house yearningly.<p>

"Later!" I said walking away and Leah said something about the kitchen being a vampire's fetish and needing to ensure supper was edible for the living; she walked away in the opposite direction.

"Right" I heard Charles breath. "Back to square one with you two; secrets"

Xx~xx~xX

The house was unbearably hot.

This is when you realise that the fever like body temperature that should render you dead is specifically designed for Forks. It was taking forever to get used to... and I was suddenly jealous of Blondie's 'pretend' tanning.

"Your husband is off hiding in some motel..." I breathed "And you are sunbathing"  
>"What would you have me do?" she removed her shades and turned completely into a Barbie-Glitter sculpture wearing a pink bikini "Walk around sulking and looking at Leah like she had a bag of treats waiting on me if I wagged my tail just right?"<br>"Hey, Charles is having a hard time!" I growled. You as his aunt should surely understand that!"

She put her black shades back on her face and leaned back elegantly, before snorting with just as much sugary grace "I wasn't talking about Charles"

Xx~xx~xX

_Wasn't talking about..._

The fuck does she know! She coats her fears in shopping and a hardened beautiful exterior... what do I have to hide behind? Charles is off moping about his mother... I think... and I have to fear imprinting a second time to what has been descried to me as the most fucked up person since... Lindsay Lohan.

Not to say its Lindsay's fault entirely, but I mean... there you have it.

Leah... it's hard not looking at her if she is prancing about in a bikini and shorts. Put some goddamned clothes on and then maybe...

"What were you and Leah talking about?" Charles asked suddenly, and I jumped-flinging my bowl of fruit salad into the air where it splattered the ceiling and fell pathetically to the floor.

"Can you make some sort of noise!?" I hissed at him "Footsteps, cough... breathe!"  
>"I am breathing" he said stoically.<p>

"It's like you are in stealth mode or something!"  
>"I am tense..." he said matter-of-factly rolling his eyes "Adrenaline and my natural..."<br>"Abnormal" I corrected

"Yeah, well..." he waved the back if his hand impatiently in my face. The veins were raised and much darker on his now tanned skin-almost the same shade as my own now, from walking around the island bored.

"Venom blah, blah and blah" I breathed and then looked at him seriously "Does it hurt?"  
>"No, not really..." he murmured "Just... takes getting used too; too strong so I can't hold anything, constantly hearing..."<p>

"So you were eavesdropping on Leah and I?"  
>"Yes" he said unashamedly. "There shouldn't be anything the two of you need discussing that I can't be a part off"<br>"You aren't a part of our history" I snapped irritated with him and he growled low, taking a step forward, still shorter than me but definitely stronger as present. "You need to get over that, yesterday"  
>"You need to get over my... mum or Bella" he said and I flinched "Yesterday"<br>"I don't remember your mum"

"Then Bella" he snarled "Get over it"  
>"I am over it"<br>"Not from where I am standing" he grinned sadistically "It isn't just a 'switch off' thing. And that's what scared you about Nessie. That it may not be a 'switch off' thing and you'll see her and feel your whole world orbiting that one sun"  
>"The hell you talking about!" I growled and his face slackened, his eyes glassing a little.<p>

"Fuck you" he finished feebly "Keep your damned secrets!"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

The narrow pavement that clung to the crumbling building was cold under her feet even though the air around her was hot and moist. Her toes rubbed curiously on the odd rough texture, scraping the much harder skin underneath her foot in an odd sensation that was both pleasant and terrifying. It alerted her that as much as she liked the feel of the ground-as much as she had gotten accustomed to it-her feet were still susceptible to the hard city concrete.

It reminded her that she wasn't at her long lost home with the soft ground and grass.

It reminded her that she was barefoot, in a wild city and standing on the hard pathway with nothing but a skimpy faded worn cotton dress that clung feebly to her thin shoulders. She was the hanger to this garment, she thought. Car headlights flashed from around the corner and she immediately forgot her idle musings and went to work.

"Hey, step back Rita-Tick! Let the big girls handle this!" Gisele yelled, sauntering into the spotlight of the car's wide blinding lights with more crude grace than Rita could ever hope of managing with her narrow hips and unheeled feet. Rita's step stuttered midway; her large eyes staring in disbelief at Gisele's already leaning form on the shiny car's rolled down driver's window. That should have been her there, she was first up on the block... she should have been talking to the hidden stranger in the car... she would have been the one to steal a fat wallet after she had worked and worked.

She didn't step back; staring just like the other five girls at the silver Mercedes and wishing it was her speaking to whatever fat ugly man sat in there. Gisele spoke for long, and soon Rita was hoping that behind the tinted windows were more men... who wanted more women... and they could all go home with something for Nico afterward. Nico had told Rita countless times-with an array of sign language that involved closed fists, open rigid hands and well aimed kicks-that if she didn't bring back his money (this was subject to whoever wanted to get into the politics of 'street business'), she would end up in a place much worse than the streets of Rio.

And at fifteen, the streets of Rio were her idea of hell as they were in their entire tourist attracting tainted glory and she wasn't about to try and find out what could be worse than hell. She didn't think death was worse than hell right now... death sounded like a never ending vacation were she could catch up with some nightmareless sleep... but again, just like with Gisele taking over her 'client'-it involved courage. She was spineless. A skinny spineless squirrel.

"Her?" Gisele said loudly in English and Rita jumped when she saw Gisele's long much suppler hand pointing insolently back towards her. "Trust me, sirs... I can handle _all of you_ on my own" Gisele crooned, folding her hands on the rim of the window and half pursing-half pouting her lips in a manner that Rita found alluring.

What did she know of crude lust? All she knew of the wonders of sex where taught here on this street and although she possessed skill that surpassed most housewives, she had no understanding of making love with a lover...

"Fine, fine..." Gisele raised her hands to calm the hidden man "But I am telling you, any of the other girls are better. She is underfed and _unhealthy_" she cast Rita a disgusted look that made Rita feel like she was truly contaminating. "Get over here... Rita!"

Rita moved slowly towards the car and then Gisele gave her a pointed look. She paused and then realised she was walking as though she were approaching an electric chair. She quickly pulled up the skirt to a quarter of her thigh, just enough although she wouldn't be able to run without showing her pathetic g-string and with each step she swerved her hips right and left with exaggerated force. Her heart was in her throat, her skin was clamming up everywhere and as she reached the tinted backseat window, a scared young girl with watery mascara and palest skin blinked back at her. She ignored her reflection and stood timidly beside Gisele.

"Her name is Rita and she gives a mean blowjob, don't you Rita?" Gisele looked back at Rita and Rita thought Gisele's cheeks seemed flushed past the blush she had on, past her lovely darker olive skin. "Come over here, Rita. The nice man in here likes you" Gisele crooned and then glanced back into the dark interior of the car "She isn't very good with the English but I can tell her your... wishes"

"H-h-h..."Rita began and then gulped moving closer to Gisele's side and smelling the cheap perfume the much well off 'sister' wore. "Hello"  
>The first thing she saw was what appeared to be a chalk sculpture shaped like a hand propped on the steering wheel. She frowned and then realised the thing extended backwards and connected to a being. A white man with what seemed to be black hairs sprinkled beautifully over the length of the arm... but could that whitest of whites truly be one of the races of the world. It seemed like a new version-concentrated white? He seemed to glow in the shadows of the car, his skin so fragile looking in its paleness it made her think automatically he was a sickly man looking for a little pleasure before death.<p>

Rita's active quiet questioning lasted a second as Gisele moved out of the way so she could peer inside fully and see her 'clients'. The owner of the hand and subsequently the pale arm had the most beautiful face she had ever seen. He was the most beautiful face-for man was too constricted a description. Not even a woman could compare to such beauty...

But maybe there was one, and she hadn't been able to compare really, but she was damn close to it. So close to this mans beauty they could have been brother and sister, him the elder one who had received all the more concentrated genes that rendered him beautiful past description...

"Rita" the man sang-for his voice rang in her ear in such soft whispers that she could feel her heart squeezing and falling in love with him instantly "Would you come with us?"

"Us?" Rita repeated stupidly in English.

"Us, Rita" the man said in Portuguese this time and smiled to her. She could make out bodies in the car now, but she was held hypnotically by his golden eyes and slight smile. "Would you come with us?"

"Yes" she said without thinking, not waiting a second to breathe.

"Both of us?" Gisele pushed Rita violently away from the window "That was the deal!?"

"I had to be sure which one of you I wanted" the man said in flawless Portuguese, his voice intoxicating both the young women.

"Take us both" Gisele pleaded and thought impulsively-the thought almost escaping her lips-that he could take her free of charge. Just take her... anywhere... "I want to... come... too"

"Just Rita" the back passenger door opened and a tall blonde man stepped out and when he turned to face the women their eyes widened. He was almost as beautiful as the driver but where he fell short in the beauty he made up in a sort of dangerous handsomeness. "Right..." this part the blonde man said in English, his voice trailing as though there was more to the sentence but he wasn't about to voice it out.

"Rita, please?" the man said and Rita took two steps towards the door he held open for her, Gisele grabbing her hand violently and yanking her back.

"How much you going to give her?" Gisele demanded to the driver "I should get a cut, compensation!"  
>"Rita, get in the car" the blonde man repeated with such sweetness that Rita felt completely trusting of him-trust she had forgotten since the moment she had been birthed. She tugged her hand free of Gisele and walked silently to the open door, staring at the handsome man for a second before disappearing into the car and from Gisele's disbelieving sight.<p>

"Gisele..." the driver murmured, saying the name as though Gisele was the purest of lovers and caressing her anger quickly away "Tell no one of Rita"  
>"What the fuck..." she hissed, her accent causing the swear word to cut oddly "You think Nico is going to just listen to me when I say I let that cockroach go without receiving a quotation? She is as dumb as bricks... you lot are gong to take advantage of her! You know who Nico is? He will make your little vacation in Rio feel like you just came to hell..."<p>

"Do not threaten me!" the drivers door opened fluidly and with no sign of getting up-the man appeared in the dim street, angry beautiful and terrifying. The street emptied immediately-as much as this was a curious event-no one was brave enough for death tonight.

He was more beautiful than she had thought. He was tall, not as tall as the blonde one still standing amused by the open door Rita had calmly entered through... but something about him suggested a sort of majesty.

Even with the violent bone chilling scowl he was wielding, Gisele had the urge to tell him he could fuck her side ways for free.

"I apologize" her breathe came out textured and cooled.

"Jazz, if you will" the man said in such annoyance Gisele lost all her previous grandiose at being the highest earner and prettiest girl on that street and felt as worthless as what she thought of Rita. She backed away, her eyes staring at the beautiful Angel before snapping to the blonde man who had taken two deliberate steps toward her.

"Gisele, if you would please..." the man drawled in a very Americanised Portuguese "Don't tell anyone about Rita. It would do us much good, thank you"

Although the words came out endearing accented Portuguese, and although he had been more polite than any client... any relative she ever had... a thrill ran down her spine and her breath knocked out of her in terrorized puffs. She stepped back, stumbling as she stared at the bright yellow eyes and friendly smile. And when she was three steps back and a car zoomed past them, its lights flashing the man's face momentarily; his eyes glowed, reflecting the light back into white pearliness around his iris.

"Don't tell Gisele" he whispered to her over the tensed thudding of her heart, stepping into the car agilely "It would be unfair of us to come back and bother you again"  
>"Go!" she yelled, waving her hand in a shooing motion but they had already pulled away "Take that wretch, take it! Demons! I want nothing... I won't speak of evil... I want... I want... oh God, save her. They will kill her!" she finished, her hand going to her mouth and stifling a hysteric wet sob. She looked around her and realised she was alone. The street opposite them had imperceptible life, nothing that would have had enough honour to shout out if she were being murdered right in that moment.<p>

She turned away from the deserted scene of her own street frantically before running easily in her heels. She would go to Nico but she wouldn't tell him about Rita and the gorgeous men. For once in her life, she had encountered something more terrifying than Nico's temper and it didn't have a description outside of politely pleasant with an adorable Texas accent.

Xx~xx~xX

"Huh?" she blinked in the darkness, the car gliding fluidly over the road and entering the pulsing lights of the upper side. She could feel bodies at both her sides-but was bodies really hot to describe them? It was like sitting lodged by stones statues-no heat came from them and they did not sway or accidentally brush against her... no accidents, perfectly still...

"Rita, tell me about the girl who saved you" the driver asked "The one who looks like me"  
>"The one..." Rita blinked stupidly, preferring to fix her eyes on the built tanned much more normal looking man in shotgun. "The girl?"<p>

"Yes, the girl who saved you when Nico was being difficult" the driver said in a soft understanding tone "when you weren't able to bring in any money?"  
>"Her" Rita murmured, smiling a little. "Oh, her..."<br>"She looks like me, doesn't she?" the beautiful driver said "Her name is Renesme"  
>"Nessie" Rita said automatically "She is in charge of the upper east near the club 'Help'. She lets Nico run down here, scouting girls to take up if you pretty enough. That's what Gisele wants..." Rita blabbed, unaware of the lovely atmosphere working around her.<p>

"What did she say?" the man in shotgun asked and Rita tensed slightly; trying to decipher the English.

"She has seen Renesme" the driver murmured and Rita realised he was driving the car fluidly in the bustling city streets-while surveying her in the rear-view mirror and casting the man in shotgun a quick glance.

"And...?" a deep voice rumbled at Rita's side and she jumped into the tall blonde man, staring at a hulking form "My Portuguese is rusty; I usually let Rose do all the talking"  
>"And my daughter is a pimp"<p>

"They call them..." the muscular man murmured and the driver growled, Rita's lulling lazy feel shaken as the sound-less human but not entirely animal-reverberated to through the car.

"She is kind and scary!" Rita said quickly-ignoring the incomprehensible mutterings of the giant man next to her "Why you ask about her; she is dangerous, you know. She only help me once-just to keep me working okay, not because we friends or anything"

"That's not true" the Driver murmured "She... helped you because she is kind. Like you initially said"  
>"She is <em>connected<em>" Rita continued, pulling on a fantasy she had had about being like the bronze haired goddess with an impatience for spineless men. "She scouts the cities with _Adonis..."  
>"<em>Nahuel" the driver murmured and she tensed-and then chose to ignore the odd statement in her feeling of grandiose.

"Yeah, you see them types all the time" Rita finished, wringing her hands "You want to get into the up market; easy as one two three... but maybe, uhm... take me there? As a reference...?"  
>"And here I was thinking you needed saving" the driver chuckled in English and she frowned, wondering if he was making fun of her to his friends.<p>

"That's your biggest problem, man" the Burly man snapped "You want to save everything except yourself"

"Shut up, Em, like hell I was going to let you refer to my daughter as 'Madame'"

"So we going to use her to get into this up market place?" the Tall Blonde asked.

"She isn't connected enough" the Driver breathed and Rita realised they were far from the safety of the tourist spots, somewhere dark and gritty. Her home, her and her sisters-Nico's territory. She thought about panicking, but didn't have enough patheticness in her new grand state to care for it.

"Rita" the Driver said sternly, turning around in his seat to look at her "Go and call Gisele before she gets to Nico. She is in the 'coke room' taking something to cool off"

She blinked stupidly at him-wondering how he knew to park in front of their very building, how he knew of the sifting room but then opted to remain silent. It didn't matter-she was going to be a Goddess, a Madame like the feared and fair 'Nessie'.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Carlisle's here" Seth murmured and Edward smiled. "Oh, you heard him long ago..."

"Yep" Edward tapped the side of his head " Thoughts tend to be louder than even car engines"  
>"Who has the loudest thoughts?" Seth asked.<p>

"Jacob still holds the title" Edward replied sombrely "Not even Emmett when he is with Rose can compete with Jake's obnoxiousness"

"Hey!" Emmett breathed.

They went silent then, the similar black Mercedes pulling in front of them, the lights stinging their too sensitive eyes momentarily before they were turned off. Carlisle walked out; he was in an ivory shirt that clashed with his skin beautifully-the fabric fluttering in the warm breeze in a seductive nature that was unlike the quiet doctor. He stuck out against the backdrop of grit and seediness exquisitely-highlighting the surrounding buildings crumbling faces with his smooth planed face and showing the barely humane nature of the area, with his large pitying eyes scanning everything.

"Just get over here!" Edward hissed and Carlisle's head snapped away from surveying the window on the second floor of a far left building-a cracked window where a baby's cry was emanating from-to stare in surprise at the Mercedes with the not-human men hidden in it.

"What do you want me to do?" Carlisle asked quickly looking back at a particular large group of men nearest to them. Of course they were being watched, their cars brought that out of the people here but the moment he had stepped out-he had drawn in a few more eyes.

"There are two human girls..."  
>"Girls?" Carlisle gasped "I thought you said you found prostitutes?"<p>

"The girls are prostitutes, Carlisle" Jasper drawled impatiently from the back.

"Right" Carlisle took in a hard breath, he had promised he would do and be the necessary when it was called off him-for his granddaughter, for his son.

"I need you to be a high-rolling billionaire" Edward said seriously-ignoring Carlisle's wide eyes. "You see, as present... too many of us may send alerts in the up-market sex tourist destinations. I have a suspicion that that is where the vampire lackeys tend to find their gourmet courses... where..." he paused abruptly and closed his eyes before opening them, his honey eyes turning into an white gold.

"That is where I think... I suspect..." he breathed-a sound riddled in sharp breathes indiscernible to Seth Clearwater (although the younger _living_ immortal was watching Edward and listening with extreme keenness) "She tends to Joham's courses... or whatever 'higher vampires' are there. I am not certain what is going on there-Joham is an oddity in his views when it comes to humans, I suspect... and I he thinks he is a god, he will want to feed from the most divine. Or create from the most divinely beautiful..."  
>"Will they be a problem?" Carlisle asked.<p>

"I think not" Edward murmured. "Your eyes are almost black-I they have been warned of us, the first thing they will look to is our eye colour and well, that is why I asked you not to feed"  
>"Hmm. Yes" Carlisle agreed.<p>

"Go with the two girls, they will lead you to a place where there will be a _pimp_..." Edward murmured, picking from Gisele's thoughts as the two girls made their way back down with Nico. "This man will obviously want money but you tell him you want the best and you have more to spend. Tell him you want drugs and... Uh, a young boy too"

"A young boy for what?" Carlisle hissed.

"To fuck" Edward growled, his eyes flashing "Carlisle, there is no time... do you know how many humans have seen 'pale' and 'beautiful'? A few tens... do you know what that alerts me?" he didn't wait for his father's advice, squashing his own shame at being so formidable to the kind man "That tells me that this place is heavily guarded, especially in the night time... and it is the fucking nighttime and another thing; we are planning on infiltrating a hierarchical system of which we do not know where Nessie stands in that pyramid. I am only assuming she is somewhere at the top with Nahuel being Joham's father..."

"I have never done anything like this before" Carlisle explained softly "I will be capable of course, but let me express my displeasure freely Edward!"  
>"Aro and Jane?" Edward scowled "Aro and Alec?... Alec begging you for me? Don't be so naïve, Carlisle, it all stems right through the humans. It isn't the venom that corrupts the human, the human is corrupt before the venom. It only heightens. Now we have run out of time to prep you through your dismantling of morals, the girls are coming and now give the man with them three thousand dollars!"<p>

Carlisle backed away from the car immediately and sped to the side of the building, in the shadows-a spectre unseen and disorientating two men who had been watching the white pale man from the point in which he had parked the car in their midst, to the point he had walked over to the other Mercedes and stood there. He seemed to have vanished, disintegrated from the driver's window, they thought. And before both men could point this fact out to five of their peers standing loosely by the entrance of the building Rita had rushed through to get her 'sister'-they saw him idle through the shadows into their sights from somewhere from the side.

"The fuck?" the one man nudged the other, who had been watching the scene unravel surreptitiously. Oblivious to the act that the 'men' they had been watching were all too aware of their eyes and didn't care much for their thoughts of presence. "The man... he was there?"  
>"What you on about, Rico?" one at man in a leather jacket growled, watching the dark Mercedes pull away from their curb and eave the navy one alone.<p>

"The... never mind" Rico sighed, shaking his head and watching the white man idle his way towards their porch.

"Hey mister!" Leather Jacket called out to Carlisle, grinning to his peers "You lost?"  
>"I am waiting for someone" Carlisle said clearly, pausing a few feet off the huddled group-watching with visible apprehensiveness on his odd innocent beautiful face, watching the many little groups huddled similarly to the young men on the porch all over the road by the buildings. Gangs, he thought. Young men selling drugs and ruining their souls..<p>

"Well, you waiting in the wrong neighbourhood" Rico laughed in Portuguese.

"No, I have the right neighbourhood" Carlisle muttered automatically in Portuguese, listening to through the many sounds around him and honing his hearing into the building-through the baby crying, the swearing, the sex and cooking meat. Through the tinkering of metal and sifting of some form of grainy fine substance-coke. He heard the tapping of his heals, he heard the rushed whispering and giggling. He prayed it was the women, he wanted to leave. He wanted to be away from the vile smells and the hard stares. His beauty was a sin here-a sin portraying the innocent dirt here.

"This is my brother's neighbourhood!" Rico snarled arrogantly, sauntering only an inch from the safety of the men appointed to watch over him by Nico. "And you, mister... are not a part of this neighbourhood... not with your white shirt and pants..."  
>"Those are chino's boy" snorted the Leather Jacket, nudging another one of the men. He may be Nico's brother, but he was just a kid. A troublesome kid always looking for fights because he knew he had back up... he knew he wouldn't have to swing a fist to even slap a bitch.<p>

"What, you a homo now?" Rico growled back to the man in the leather jacket, swaggering and grinning when he received laughs-but quickly gulped when Leather Jacket's eyes flashed dangerously. "Come on, this guy here is lost. He is too clean cut..."  
>"I know what I came for" Carlisle breathed. "I wish no quarrel..."<br>Rico lunged forward, ignoring Leather Jacket's low oath for him not to do anything rash-anything unnecessary (Leather Jacket knew he would be put in the firing light for Rico's insolent, naturally-and was thus saving his own hide). But it was too late; Rico had the knife out. It glinted momentarily-in Carlisle's exponentially quicker responsiveness; he watched it in wonder rather than the fright it should have brought out in any other man. He let Rico reach him-in equal curiosity, for he had never had a man try and stab him-and the knife hit his rib with an irritating poke (although Rico had cried triumphantly as he pulled all his weight and tensed it in the one thrusting violent motion), the blade bending and then bouncing back to its original rigid form.

"Ngh!" Rico groaned retracting his arm and jabbing violently again "You don't fuck with Rico!"

"Are you crazy, boy!" Carlisle shook his head and Rico's eyes blinked slowly, he was staring at Carlisle's whitish shirt, waiting for crimson to stain it from within.

"Rico you fucker!" Leather Jacket yelled, pulling the young boy from a motionless Carlisle and shaking him hard by the shoulders. "He could be a cop or something! You think because you are in Nico's territory you can just go around jabbing white men? They are white men, not us!"

They all looked back at Carlisle; staring at the torn shirt and waiting for the blood, waiting for him to drop to the ground.

"How do you just stab someone?" Carlisle tutted instead and all their eyes widened. From across the street, the men also waited for Carlisle to drop-planning on stealing the car immediately afterwards.

"You didn't stab him?" Leather Jacket asked Rico, who nodded silently, staring at Carlisle like he was a ghost. "Yes, you didn't stab him or yes you did?"  
>"I did" Rico breathed "Twice..."<p>

"Let me see the knife" Leather Jacket demanded. "How the fuck do you miss stabbing someone standing a half an inch from you!"

Carlisle looked up at the building, trying to pick up which conversations belonged to the two girls-the prostitutes. He was distracted; this had to be done, he knew it had to be done... but he didn't want to do it. And it was unfair, he thought. But he was being careless. He was being careless because he was afraid of the immorality of all of this... of what Renesme (sweet Renesme who had asked him to teach her CPR at one point) was exposed to.

But he only knew the half of it...

"Hey mister..."Leather Jacket called out to Carlisle who gave him a side glance. Leather Jacket was looking at the slightly bent, definitely cracked blade "You lost or something"

"I told you I am waiting for someone" Carlisle breathed.

"Nico?" Leather Jacket asked "You waiting for the boss?" he ignored the other men's snorts of how Rico was in shit if the white man was indeed waiting on his brother... after he had stabbed him, and failed.

Just then, Nico emerged with the desired Gisele and the awkward-now there was sight, an awkward hooker-Rita. "Alfonso" Nico greeted and Leather Jacket-Alfonso-nodded his head and backed out of the way, allowing Nico and the two women to pass.

"Where?" Nico asked in an impatient tone and Gisele looked at Rita irritated.

"The car was..." Rita began, but then she saw Carlisle. "Him" she said breathily, pointing a skinny finger out to him.

"Hmm" Nico breathed surveying the elegance of the man's handsomeness-but then he saw the tear in the shirt and frowned. He looked at the car just off, an almost black shiny beast and saw the keys twinkling in the man's white hands.

"Boss, Nico stabbed him..."Alfonso said in a hurry.

"He came up to me!" Rico said in a pitched voice, his eyes wide. Nico grabbed Rico's face violently, his fingers digging into his brothers already gaunt cheeks and pulling the boys head mercilessly to his-scanning every inch o the sweaty canvas that resembled his own scarred face.

"Are you high, Rico?" Nico asked softly-ignoring the quiet that had formed around him although he was surrounded by bodies.

"No" Rico lies and then blinked once, "Maybe a little..."  
>"Dealers don't get high on their own fucking supply, you idiot" Nico spat, pushing his brothers face away-hating the bulging pupils he had been looking into "Now, if he is stabbed, Alfonso... why is he still standing?"<br>"I... I ... your brother can't do nothing right" Alfonso ended and Nico sighed in agreement. If Carlisle were not a vampire who could lock his muscles and remain as still as a mountain-he might have not seemed as cool and collected as he did in front of the humans. His insides felt on fire, a thousand voices-all his own and some belonging to his love, Esme (a single one belonged to his father, and although the voice was out numbered-it was the loudest)-all these voices yelling and shouting, warring and destroying inside him. He wanted to tap his foot, but he had no need for that. He wanted to fumble his hands, but he had no need for that too. He listened to their rushed whispers with easy clarity and waited.

"Sir" Nico called "Rita says you want a favour?"  
>"Drugs, sex..." Carlisle breathed.<p>

"Straight forward and well taught in my mothers tongue" Nico smiled signalling Alfonso, Rita ad Gisele follow him up to Carlisle "I like that"

"She met with my brother" Carlisle said-his tone detached, cold (it scared him).

"Yes, all of them" Nico said "You want to go to 'Help'?"  
>"I have an appetite" Carlisle breathed "But I have picky tastes"<br>"Can't be too picky if your brother thought you would favour my little tick... Rita" he poked Rita hard in the ribs and she squealed in pain. "You can blow your money here, up market... its just a fad"  
>"I want the best" Carlisle repeated.<p>

"Now why come here for the best" Nico asked suspiciously "Why not just drive up to those bright lights of Up Town?" he paused and tutted "I apologise for your harassment, friend. But I really don't think you have the money. I think you looking to rip me off of my best girl"  
>"You just called her a tick?" Carlisle asked and Nico growled. But then Carlisle took a step forward, scowling violently and Nico and Alonso both backed away-into Gisele and Rita who stumbled back too.<p>

"I want her" Carlisle cocked his head to Rita (who Edward had promised was not very bright but had an almost photographic memory and an obsession with her 'Bronze Haired Goddess' that they needed). "And..." Carlisle couldn't believe he was saying this "A young boy"  
>"Why didn't you just say so, man!" Nico laughed hoarsely-he was shaking, staring into the strange man's dark eyes had seemed like staring at Death. "I get a cut from 'Guido's'; high price venue in prestigious neighbourhood owned by this one guy I know. I get him the boys and he gets me a cut. There is whores there... oh, my..." he kissed the tips of his pressed inner fingers loudly "Exquisite! I don't know if they are as beautiful as you..."<br>"You flatter me" Carlisle murmured "But you also waste my time?"  
>"Yeah, man..." Nico looked back at a sulking Rico then heaved "You see, I need the ages and the prices for the young boys"<p>

"Ages?" Carlisle tilted his head in confusion. This was not to say that he had not heard of 'Sin City' as it were, but he had stayed away from the knowledge-two different things. His nature would have seen him coming to such a desolately immoral place and adopting all its societal rejects. This was his endearing quality and his flaw, and he had to keep it in check.

"If you serious, friend" Nico whispered "Then we can talk about on the way. You are brave... but I never seen a man with money stand alone in these parts and not leave with a scratch"  
>"That is why..." Carlisle sighed, walking painfully human slow to his driver's end of the car, Rita and Gisele following with Nico while Alfonso signalled for the other men to go somewhere-possibly to convoy them. "That is why I am brave" Carlisle finished.<p>

"And the brave deserve all the pleasures from the innocent" Nico grinned, opening the car door and stepping in rudely.

And too low for the corrupt and yet intelligent man to hear, Carlisle murmured "Do the Innocent deserve such bravery in sin?"

Xx~xx~xX

Her fingers ran along the wall in wonder; she liked the feel of things.

The soft velvety feel of the lush wallpaper under her fingertips was lustrous, the very satin colour raised from the black twirling parsley design decadent to her sights. She had never seen 'rich furniture'... but this was _wealth._ The wallpaper ended almost halfway and gave a boarder to an outstretch of wood panelling. The lights were propped on wrought iron along the wall in intervals-antique things that had a warm straw lamp shade over them that gave of a warmth and lushness to the corridor. They had passed easily enough through three points of security to get in here-and she couldn't tell, but maybe the beautiful man (who had chosen to go by the name 'Jonas') seemed edgy. He was watching everything, like he could print the images in his eyes.

Rita had recognised about five people inside-this she knew as a result always being the one to clean up on Nico's organised meetings and 'tributes' to the real bosses of Rio (or rather, the real bosses 'representatives').

One of the 'security men' had been almost as beautiful as 'Jonas' and wore dark shades. He had been speaking rapidly, in a language that sung out like Spanish but was not... he had been communicating through his phone to someone, before addressing and repeating whatever had been told to him in the phone. It took fifteen minutes-it felt like a lifetime-before the man had nodded at Jonas and told him to have his 'fill'.

"Stay here" a big man blocked their entrance and placed a fat hand on Nico's chest. Nico looked to Jonas apprehensively.

"You have your fifteen thousand, Nico" Jonas murmured. "Unless you want to watch me..."  
>"You don't want to watch him, amigo" the big man laughed. "Trust me"<p>

"But I was bringing the boy..."  
>"Leave, Nico" Jonas commanded and Nico scowled violently-even though he was the smaller fish in the up market-he still hated being told anything. He did the telling.<p>

"There will be another access point" the man told Jonas seriously in English "Three vampires..."

"Vampires?" Gisele asked, watching absently as Nico trudged back up the corridor and then she jumped when a door that had not been there shut behind him and forever blocked his view from her sights.

"Vamp..." Rita tried the word out and then gave up. It didn't matter, they were about to make more money than what Nico had been paid for the ten year old boy.

"Of course, the Leader of this territory" the man continued explaining to Jonas "A very secretive being... he doesn't want any slip ups, so as you are allowed as a prestigious member of the Godly race to feed in suitable conditions... no slip ups. No leaving... doggybags"  
>"Understood" Jonas murmured. "Through the three vampires, you say?"<br>"Yes..." the guard murmured and Rita realised, staring at his face-he had red eyes. she gasped and then Gisele struck her in the ribs before whispering furiously to her.

"Contacts"

The giant man smiled "Enjoy Jonas, not many make it into the Sire's personal estates..."  
>"I hope more make it out" Jonas smiled a small oddly hopeful smile.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

Somewhere a few miles away, Carlisle Cullen's first family and closest friend watched the array of patrolling humans and vampires around the immense strip of the block. None of the beings here had the necessary thoughts to suggest Edward Cullen's daughter lay in there... they were not of any value.

But there was something very interesting two of the vampire guards knew off; Joham's little hidden palace of heinous narcissism was about to come under attack by the most random and inexplicable of players in these odd game. A rival territory... the two guards were spies, Edward realised. They remained silent in the car, their scents hidden and only Seth's single heartbeat giving the misinterpretation that there was a human male sitting alone in the car park.

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Cliff hangers suck. I agree. But after penning a multitude of extra characters and an ambitious two part finale-no reviews suck more! Lol. Its not a cliff-hanger for nothing, so don't be too irritated.**

**Be sure to review, seriously... we have reached the near end. Good time to not go to bed, or log off and be heard.  
>And to the constant reader and reviewer, thank you so much. You are legendary and have inspired this beyond what you can possibly imagine with your reflections and thoughts. <strong>

**Xx **

**tj**


	27. Do Not Go Gentle into the Goodnight

**DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THE GOODNIGHT**

**Xx~xx~xX**

_**God punishes us for what we can't imagine.**_

**X**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**Xxxx~xxx~xxxX**

In most parts of the world, Gang Wars would have been considered a fear inducing event... but unfortunately, this wasn't anywhere else in the world...

So when the television blared with the sound of the reporter speaking of the thunder and gunshots working their way towards Joatinga, the household of Sanchez calmly (well, calmer than most would have managed) locked up their doors and shut their windows. Burglar bars had always been in place, Papa had a gun in the drawer of his wardrobe which he took out and kept with him and Mama knew already that they had to move to the back of the house-to huddle in little Maria's bedroom and sleep there till the morning.

Fifteen minutes since they had switched of their television after being warned by the pretty News Reporter, their house shook violently as something collided with it. Maria shut her eyes tightly.

"Was that a roar?" Carolina asked her husband, clutching their daughter between them "I heard a roar?!"  
>"A roar?" he mumbled, frowning "Carolina; those gangs are not monsters. They are lost young men..."<p>

But to Maria they _were_ monsters. She squinted through the shadows of her room from between her parents arms and made out the thin opening of her bedrooms pink curtains (they looked purple in the darkness, she noted). A giant mass moved so fast through the moonlit outside, her eyes opened wide and strained with fear. Their house was double-story...

"Gangs are monsters" Maria Sanchez murmured, shutting her eyes tightly and clinging onto her mother.

This time, Mr Sanchez heard the roar too... only it wasn't really a roar, he thought. Surely that was a howl? Carolina Sanchez found herself comically holding her little girl and grown husband in her arms, all of them huddled on a Barbie themed bed till morning light chased the Gang monsters away.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"It is beautiful" Gisele breathed. She twirled around with large disbelieving eyes, breaking away from Carlisle's left side and giving Rita enough guts to take a tentative step forward.

He remained still in the middle of the room, staring quietly at something-someone-that the girls had been oblivious too. Edward had gotten it all wrong, he thought. But the mistake Edward had made had inadvertently been the right type of misconstrue of information; for if Carlisle had come here with no human's (no meal) he was sure he would have been turned away.

"Your name, good sir?" the hidden woman asked and the two human girls jump in fright, landing right by his sides and clinging to the fabric of his shirt with hot desperate hands. They had not seen her lithe form blending in with the shadows of the deep burgundy drapery from the far off entrance.

He wanted to say his name but instead, Carlisle Cullen said shortly and with little volume (a sound that was almost _irritated _in its infliction), "Jonas Fry"

"Jonas Fry?" she smiled and if Gisele and Rita had found her hidden form in the shadows of the thick fabric odd-they soon gasped terrified as she appeared in front of them, literally materialising out of thin air. They took her in with surprised wide eyes-surprised at the beauty she owned and surprised at the fright she instilled in their half-hidden forms behind a troubled 'Jonas'.

"Jonas Fry, good lady" Carlisle murmured with more conviction, forcing his lips to move into a smile. He ignored the powerless clawing of the human women on his shirt trying to signal something to him, the heat of their bodies stifling him.

"You don't look like a Jonas Fry!" she pursed her lips in an odd pouting-smirk.

He was almost afraid she had seen through his unwanted lies but he pushed on. "Who do I look like?" he asked gingerly.

"You look like..." she pressed a finger to her lips, her eyes flicking momentarily to Gisele-hunger gleaming behind the smoky darkness that hid the crimson of her eyes from the humans but not enough to hide the lingering red from Carlisle. She was not far off from the consuming thirst. "What is that actors name?!" she giggled and Carlisle frowned diminutively, smoothing his expression back into forced patience. He had always been a patient man... but somehow, faced with such uncertainties as these-he wished to hurry along. Let the unknown come, and let it come now for it would cost two lives. He couldn't bear to think three as yet, not out of cowardice-but he was still a father, wasn't he? Certain jobs never desisted and the job satisfaction he had being the Cullen Coven Leader had him standing here...

"You know the one in the new Bond movie?" she smiled at him fluttering her eyelashes "You do watch movies? I mean, you are of this century?"  
>"No, not this century" he said and then smiled again "But I know the movie-" he paused abruptly, shutting his mouth. He wanted to explain how he knew it; it was reflex reaction-the truth. He wanted to tell her of his 'children' and about their admiration for human's technology advancement and such, CGI and all of it. He heard the soft laugh of Rosalie and Jasper scolding him for his adorable love for repetition, routine and fixed preference that resembled human traits.<p>

She waited with mild appraisal for him to continue and when he didn't, she gave him another one of her flirty grins.

Her hair was as black as oil and when she turned abruptly to glance at the archway she had obviously come through-a soft ghosting noise had emanated too silent for human ears from it-her back was exposed, a whitish glow emanating from her olive pale skin. She frowned slightly and then looked back at Carlisle-another half interested flick of the eyes to the nervous girls at his sides. Smoothing her black dress that clung crudely to her form with a plunging neck line that revealed only how meagre her breasts were-she picked up a nail file from a table.

She began filing her nails in a blurring motion, tilting her head to one side and cocking narrow hips in the opposite direction "Just waiting to verify something" she sang, bored. "With your account, most vampires don't really bank-do they?"

"No, they don't" Carlisle murmured.

"But you do?"  
>"I do" he answered.<p>

"Ms, I don't..." Gisele began, voicing a thought that Carlisle knew had been whirling in her mind since the woman had revealed herself but with one flick of the eyes-the female vampire shut the ambitious 'street service provider'.

Her nails gleamed in the light. Titanium file, Carlisle thought. Vampire nails, like their hair-grew exponentially faster than human hair with the abundance of dead cells. It took a few haircuts to make a change in hair length stick for longer than a few hours to a few days. The same went for nails. He mused on this, a safety from thinking on exactly what was about to take place in the lush room filled with satins and velvets.

_If you were Edward or Jasper-_certainly not Emmett, Emmett had no understanding of deductive planning-_you would be thinking on how you could save these two girls somehow, remain untainted of human blood and exit this place! You would be thinking on other things instead of..._

"Mr Jonas?" the woman asked again-pausing her filing. "You didn't answer my question?"

"Daniel Craig" Carlisle said quickly-a useless thought popping in his mind on how he most definitely didn't look like that particular James Bond. Or any other Bond... He looked back at the door he had entered through, a glance at the archway the vampire woman had entered through as well and then he caught his pale reflection in an ornate mirror to his side.

They had thought Renesme would have been here... this was nothing they could have predicted. He didn't want to think about the fact that he was almost locked in this room-no backing out.

"A nervous vampire?" she laughed, turning slowly.

"It's my first time here" Carlisle murmured and the woman fluttered her sparse but still beautiful eyelashes once more. He forced his expression to remain neutral. He was the worst James Bond to exist... a preachers son auditioning to be a ruthless spy...

"A virgin" she crooned, eyeing him with interest. "Don't worry, we can change that; not many vampires are taken with the idea of 'civilised feeding'"  
>Carlisle pursed his lips-his idea of 'civilised feeding' was surely a contradiction to this place.<p>

"Well, my name is Cynthia" the woman said in a bored tone. "We are just waiting for a few verifications before we can grant you access to this here, lovely little boudoir"

"He is clean" rumbled a deep voice from the archway. A burly dark skinned man stood in the entrance, shadows dancing over his face so his features were indiscernible to the two human women. His eyes gleamed red ice momentarily-all three vampires ignored the sharp intake of air from Rita the Tick. "I couldn't get hold of... well, you know were he is. Nahuel gave the go-ahead. Talk him through the offer" and with that the vampire left.

"If you can understand, our territory is doesn't get many outsiders so we tend to be thorough...!" she giggled, waving her hand at the archway and rolling her dark eyes before looking contemplatively at her titanium nail file and placing it down slowly on the table.

"I will be your host..." she murmured smiling a little.

"My host?"

"Your host" she repeated, moving like light-appearing in front of him-and merging her lips with his startled ones briefly. The contact of her lips on his causing him to jerk back. She ignored this.

"Let me talk you through it, Jonas" she smiled re-emerging on a large cushioned chaise-and by this second blurry motion Rita and Gisele's eyes were wide, their whites visible and their hands clutching each other. "Sit down, my morsels" Cynthia cooed to the two women, waving a hand at a pile of scattered cushions just. They moved hypnotised to where she pointed and sat stiffly-still clutching each other.

"As your host..." Cynthia said thoughtfully, reaching over her and picking a plump grape from a bowl of fruit-she brought it to her lips and licked it, frowning slightly before throwing it over to the staring humans and laughing with the glee of a sadistic child. "I am going to take care of you, Jonas...and my, I am looking _forward_ to doing just _that!_" she smiled-Carlisle wasn't sure; the movement of her lips was so subtle.

"Firstly, you tell me what your likes are..." Cynthia breathed "Do you speak English; of course you do" she answered quickly; looking at him with her wide dark eyes.

"I personally prefer English" Cynthia sighed, leaning back into the chaise and bringing a violet coloured cushion to her chest, hiding the skin of her chest-there really was nothing to be considered cleavage there although her eyes suggested she wanted Carlisle-Jonas-to be looking at that.

"English, then" Carlisle smiled-he hadn't moved an inch and as Gisele watched, she noted he didn't seem to need to. Not a shuffle of a foot, or a slight rolling of the shoulders. He wasn't about to behave in any other way than an ancient vampire trying something new and exciting...

"Let us discuss the length of exclusivity this club adheres to" Cynthia breathed, smiling impishly at him and raising a long curved leg, freeing it through the slit of her dress. Carlisle forced his eyes to look at it before smiling at her-nervously again. She found it endearing.

"We have a strict policy" she sighed, running a hand over her front in a manner that Carlisle realised was meant to be seductive. He was unsure on what to do with it and continued to smile politely.

"Firstly, you get what you pay for" she looked at him sternly. "The boy will come..."  
>"I wish to rescind the offer on the boy!" Carlisle said quickly.<p>

"The money has already been paid to the human" she frowned at him-irked that he interrupted her.

"I don't care, I don't want a _young boy_" Carlisle breathed.

"Fine" she said tersely. "It really didn't suit you to begin with, but you would be surprised by some of the fetishes human males carry through to their Immortal Transition-after the thirst of course! But you didn't strike me as a boy-lover, but they seldom look the part!" she laughed as though this was a perfectly inoffensive joke and appeared shocked when Carlisle didn't join in and wore a hard expression instead.

"You get one meal choice" she murmured. "A morsel of divinity"

"Morsel?"  
>"You really don't know what you have entered into?" she smiled. "A morsel... if you wish for the true divinity-which has its own price..., you need to go through a few things. Prove your self"<br>"This isn't a whore house?" Carlisle asked and it was her turn to take offence.

"Not for us Gods, of course not" she said tersely. "Think of it as a reception area to an exclusive club"

"Cult" Carlisle murmured stiffly.

"Whatever! You are either interested in it or you wish to have your fill of pleasures that you paid for"

"If I am interested...?"  
>"Such arrogance" she scoffed "Do you know what is happening here, around you; in Rio? The start of an Immortal Revolution..."<br>"This Cult of yours...?" Carlisle cut her-he knew enough of Joham to not want to have his waning patience tempted by the brain washed young vampire woman. She had to be young, her eyes and hard skin gave her away (and the way she couldn't ignore the two beating hearts in the room).

"Laying down your arrogance?" she teased and Carlisle gave her another one of his weak smiled.

"It's as simple as being a God" she said. "Not a mindless monster"

"And how does one do that?"  
>"Control the thirst" she said in an automated voice "And follow..." at this she pointed above her from the chaise she lay on in an elegant tilting gesture with a long pale hand. She pointed with such mystical grace at the gold framed giant painting that by the time Carlisle gave it more consideration, he was already expecting more from it from what his mind had concluded prior.<p>

A beautiful dark man stood dressed in white, a light exuding from his head that glowed around his features. His hands were spread out, palms open and at either sides of him stood an adoring young girl and an equally enraptured young man. Staring at him with abundant love...

With a casual glance, one would have concluded it was Jesus. And if one were of lessor knowledge and did take a closer look with their human eyes; they would think it was Black Jesus. Or maybe, a mixed race Jesus.

Carlisle Cullen had never set eyes on Joham-the Good Scientists of thwarted Genetics, Joham-but he knew now, that his worries and fleeting thoughts were put aside-that he was staring Joham. And his sides, the young children-he noted were _not _Renesme or Nahuel.

Her eyes flicked momentarily to the shaking girls huddled in the pile of soft cushions "You feed. It helps with the control for your... main course"

"Is that what they meant by entry fee?" Carlisle breathed and the room tinkled with her bell laugh.

"Yes and no, my beautiful" she smiled "Our master is a very meticulous man and if you had appeared to possess the slightest barbaric qualities that most of our kind tend to hold on to..." she paused sadly "Then you wouldn't be admitted. Trust me when I say, we have delicacies you can only dream off but to reach them you have to prove your worth"  
>"My worth?"<p>

She flicked her eyes once more at the girls.

"Jonas..." she whispered, throwing the cushion aside casually and taking a step towards him-a lean creature too straight and demonically beautiful in the tight black dress. She moved slow and human towards him, placing a hand on his chest leisurely and smiling ruefully at him "We offer you pleasures here. The highest, if you want?"  
>"I want" Carlisle murmured. "The highest..."<p>

"All for your allegiance; you either leave with what you paid for-or you take up this offer. I must stress that you will not leave without fulfilling one of those conditions" she smiled and Carlisle's mind felt clouded slightly-he had been right. He was not able to leave without sinning firts. "But first... enjoy them. All this business talk can dampen ones appetite!"

"I..." Carlisle turned to the women who had been staring at the vampires in confusion; Gisele's English had reached its capacity and she relaxed unwittingly at not understanding that her death was lurking in the shadows of Carlisle's disturbed gaze.

He sensed the other vampires around the room. He was outnumbered-he knew that already, but now he was very aware exactly how organised this 'entertainment' centre was. No doggy bags... the words rang in his ears.

Cynthia went back to the chaise, leaned into it with such languidness that the thigh high opening of her dress exposed flesh in a stretch of crude whitish olive. "I will watch, my beautiful..." she stared at Carlisle's face thoughtfully, wondering why there seemed something exotic about his vampirism. His very manner and scent.

"My lovelies..."Cynthia crooned to the two girls who had now calmed down moderately, deciding that the two beautiful beings holding a parley in English were not really interested in them. Rita stared at Cynthia's hand ghosting over her front deliberately, stroking her neck line thoughtfully.

"My beauties" Cynthia sang to the girls in her lilting Portuguese "Won't you take care of your man there. He is so obviously a virgin to our games, I am sure your bodies can rectify that"

They got up hesitantly, releasing each other and pulling the remaining fear away-or trying to redirect it to the parched lust they remembered. With tentative steps they approached the motionless Carlisle-Jonas. He didn't move or acknowledge them; he remained frozen in the middle of the room glaring at the floor with wide terrified eyes. A strange creature, Rita thought. But she had seen stranger as it were...

They reached him and began removing his clothing slowly. The shirt was first to be assaulted by their nervous hands; fumbling over buttons and trying to move his unwilling hands.

"My, you are cold!" Rita giggled.

"Don't worry, my love" Gisele crooned, nudging her nose against his strong frozen neck "I know just how to warm you up..." 

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"He treats his humans better than this! I am not his cow for the milking!" Renesme snarled at Nahuel, who returned her scowl with a humoured grin.

"Then stow away your udders, Renesme..." Nahuel offered, moving through the woods of their home to the giant Jeep parked off the road "And explain it to Joham why you were not present at 'House of Gods'"  
>"It's that..." she wanted to say bitch, but Nahuel seemed conflicted at times on whether he hated his family or wanted to remain with his family-a conflict that could result in being delayed to the House of God's (known as 'Help!' to the humans-a little joke the immortals enjoyed) to attend to a new recruitment. And she very well didn't want to arrive there with a swollen eye and have another problem on her hands.<p>

"My sister?" Nahuel guessed. "Just be thankful she doesn't mess with your mind like she does mine"  
>"I am not a cow. I am not a cow, do you hear me!" Renesme yelled and Nahuel snorted-mumbling how she was a living glorified drug supply. Who else did she think would have filled the position? Nahuel had venom laced in his blood-it made for a sweet-sour taste to vampires. Joham's daughters... like hell that was about to happen.<p>

Glorified drug supply. Walking delicacy... Joham's way of controlling vampires he hadn't sired-hook them line and sinker to something they would only be tasting once.

"_Give him a little sip, Renesme... Nahuel will clean the venom out after so the wound will heal" _she heard him croon to her.

"I hate him" she whispered and Nahuel ignored her. _That's what he wants for my son, she thought. Send us to the edge of his territory and have us locked up and paroled and call for us when he wants a sip of wine..._

They emerged like drunken teenagers, nudging each other as the walked from the forestry and startled their human chauffeur into jumping back into the car. She looked at the man momentarily with mild interest-as one would look on the last cookie on a plate, wondering if they should really eat it although they have had their fill. She huffed and let him open the door for her, entering fluidly.

The car swerved away from the edge of the trees and made its way to town. It would have been faster to go by foot... but we were 'God's', Renesme thought with resentment. Joham's idea of being 'civilised' was frayed, contradictory and hypocritical. But she wouldn't be the one to tell him that...

"He has gone to tend to his territory lines" Nahuel said evenly-trying to keep his own emotions out of the statement.

"Had he invited you?" Renesme asked anxiously. She knew he hadn't-just like all the other major plans that involved life outside of Rio, she and Nahuel were excluded. No one said out loud, but they were locked away in their home..._Glorified Prisoners._ But this one, this particular exclusion spelled trouble. Raul did not think of himself as a refined gentleman... Raul with his seductive smile and black shining hair...

"I have to look after you, so of course I wouldn't have gone" he answered acidly, glaring out the window. "Hey, human... step on it. I want this to be done quickly!"  
>"It is an honour, Nahuel..." Renesme tried to calm him "To be his Ambassador" and added internally 'Even if he is running a shoddy government in the wilderness of South America and about to send his son and lovers daughter to the dogs'.<p>

"The last three vampires to seek out the club ended up leaving us exposed to the human authorities for murder inquests" Nahuel said angrily "They are messy things with little 'civilisation' in them! They leave us at risk of the Volturi!"  
>"Well, don't let daddy hear you say that!" Renesme giggled and Nahuel failed to hide a grin of his own. It was a private joke of theirs, one they didn't really say out loud... as much as Vampires were gods... it really was the half-vampires that handled the vampirism with better precision.<p>

"I got a call from Nathaniel" Nahuel sighed "He says this particular Vamp seems promising. There is a level of control... I am sure you are glad to have some fresh air?"  
>"Whatever" Renesme frowned, rubbing her arm absently-remembering the last vampire Joham had ordered her to allow a sip of her 'divine' blood. "You try being chewed on by some crazed mother-fucker while Flora watches!"<br>"Such language, Renesme" Nahuel grinned looking hungrily at Renesme's pouting mouth.

"Your daddy has red-eyes" Renesme snapped impetuously and Nahuel frowned at her.

"Need I remind you that I am much older than you?" he hissed his obsession with her falling easily into arrogant disdain for her childishness. A childishness that had cost him so much numerous times in the past "Ungrateful bestiality prone whelp!"  
>"Need I remind you that...!" she began in a white flash of anger (forgetting that appearing with swollen eyes and a busted lip would make a bad impression on their 'civilised feeding theme') and Nahuel's phone filled the air with its insistent vibrating. He casually raised his hand to stop her oncoming tirade-her lower lip quivering violently before she glared out the window-at trees that were moving much too slow for her liking.<p>

"Father?" Nahuel breathed. "Yes. I am taking her there...?"

Nahuel paused, listening to Joham growling on the other end how he had better keep Renesme under control. "Yes, of course father..." another pause "Yes... Nathaniel confirmed"

He paused, glaring violently at the back of the shot-gun headdress, oblivious to Renesme's impish grin. "Fine, Banik will lead the security team..." and with that, the phone was cut and they enjoyed the remainder of their journey lost in their own private hells.

Xx~xx~xX

Carlisle had not moved since they had removed his shirt. He had frozen in the middle of the room filled with soft furniture and lazy sultry light and now the two human girls had reached a predicament with his pants. They hung by his ankles and they were unable to lift his legs up to remove them completely.

"Maybe we should take the boxers off?" Rita suggested, her index finger dipping behind the cotton of 'Jonas' boxers.

"Jonas..." Cynthia said-her tone riddled with humour. She had expected him to kill them almost immediately when they penetrated the personal bubble of his being-for him to lose control and indulge, rendering this exercise pointless. 'Sorry, you don't qualify for what we offer' she would have said 'but you can have your meal and we will take your money regardless'. No rare delicacies for you, mister.

Carlisle's head snapped in her direction after a beat, remembering his alias.

"I know you want to prove you can master it" she said, pouting slightly while walking over to him and the girls crouched by his feet. "But proving it by standing still... really isn't proving anything"

She shooed the girls away and kneeled by him, gazing up at him with twinkling dark eyes. He shuddered when her warm hand went around his calf and raised his leg easily. She flung the one leg off of him and then the next-eyeing him with that a determined interest.

"Cooperate with the lovely girls" she murmured, rising "You are fine specimen; a God. Let them have their one pleasure before they sleep forever"

"He is a little shy" she giggled back on the chaise "Continue"

Gisele and Rita looked at each other in confusion then back at Carlisle's now aware face. His eyes still held that disarming fear in them but after being around his form for a good thirty minutes-they were just as infatuated as Cynthia with his reluctance.

"Can't I..." Carlisle began slowly "I can just..."  
>"Love them and feed" Cynthia said with finality, the severance of her gaze coated with annoyance "If you want to be a part of our prestigious club"<p>

And it all made sense to Carlisle then; he would never have the true vampire side of things revealed to him unless he did this. The side that may bring him face to face with Renesme. Joham-as much as he probably sired many of the vampires in Rio-was selling a religion here. He needed vampires who could create half-vampires too. Who could ensure his demi-god's went forth and prospered with other demi-gods...?

"Love them..." Carlisle said slowly-comprehending "And _then_ feed"

And no doggy bags. He had never killed a man-a human. Never... not by accident... the ultimate in control...

Cynthia smiled, nodding. "I my self, wont lie to you" she said. "I am unable too! I have watched plenty and I tell you, as yet our guard is very small"

Their 'Guard'. He was recreating Volterra here. Only Aro wouldn't ask his potentials to have sex with their 'meals'

Sex, blood and death.

"What is the rare delicacy?" he asked softly. "After I go through my initiation and you bring me my order... what is the rare delicacy?"

"Something you have never seen in all your many years, I am sure" she said, her eyes widening. "But hurry, as much as Immortality is yours... Death can be our gift to you"

And what have most vampires' never seen, dear Carlisle? He thought to himself, ignoring her latent threat-no matter how true it was. He was going out either way-the two would die regardless of whether his conscious got the better of him. He couldn't leave here without their deaths and he couldn't proceed forward without them either. But sex...

"I can't" he groaned.

"Oh, but you can... trust me when I tell you it will be worth it" she cooed, eyeing him with exhilaration. If he succeeded it would mean she had succeeded "I have seen many, and they have failed, but in you I see... success. Do it"

A beauty unparalleled with God-like abilities... and a beating heart; how many of those have vampires seen? And how difficult it is to create such, because it cannot be created but made. He was at a crossroad-laid with two options of Death and Death and as he had taken his workload, this was what his job entailed as Father-could he surely quit now?

It wouldn't be quitting on Edward alone, he thought. Esme... returning to her with blood on his hands and telling her how he had bowed out of returning her their granddaughter and son's child? Telling Edward he had been unable when it was him who had talked him through Isabella (such irony and contradiction-fearing crushing their bones when they were to die regardless... but he wouldn't be Carlisle any other way).

Had he not walked this way with a torch shining sin, regardless? What were two more sins if it saved the lives and loves of those most dearest? Murder and adultery... on top of lies.

His chest constricted-heart had long stopped in its tracks, and he imagined dead dust swirling in the void it left. He looked at Rita and she smiled awkwardly at him-he hated that she looked at him with obvious fascination... she kneeled and tugged at his boxers once more and this time he let her.

Eyes shut tight he made a silent prayer which ended with the escape of a feeble plea "Forgive me, my love. Esme"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

There was no entering the hidden barricade of the quaint palace that served as one of Joham's 'bureau', that much Edward and Jasper had concluded, without 'invitation'. The distance they were at rendered hearing Carlisle's thoughts strenuous with the bustling insulation of humans and the invisible vampire guard.

"What do we do?" Seth asked him. Edward looked at his friend-possibly the one friend who wasn't born out of being a 'sibling' and his 'maker'. Just something easy and natural that had developed that he realised he treasured greatly. He met the eyes of the young (younger than he was, for he was counting their ages in on the calendar of immortality) Shapeshifter. Brown and wide and eerily like Leah Clearwater's own eyes in a way that had always fascinated him.

Well, in a way that had _once_ fascinated him. In a time when Seth Clearwater had yet to live, was still carrying a precious sort of innocence in his youth and saw goodness in even the most demonic of creatures. But now, he was staring at eyes that held that shape of infinite good but had flecks of sorrow, heartbreak and something he didn't want to believe to be underlying cynicism in them.

"I say we carry things out on the tide of this _other_ battle" Edward breathed, leaning back into the driver's seat.

"I do agree" Jasper drawled, pursing his lips "Gentleman, I do say that right here... right now... we are entirely outnumbered and don't stand a chance"  
>"Then we have sent Carlisle...!" Seth began and Edward shushed him quickly.<p>

"Do not think like that, Seth!" Edward hissed. "Do not even dare think like that! You know vampires well enough that to entertain an image of a pit of writhing snakes is plain ignorance!"

Seth recoiled with a sharp intake of breath, his eyes wide.

"He is inside" Edward said softly regaining his composure. Didn't his friend know what such an implication would do to his already feeble conscious? That in his selfishness to regain his child, he had sacrificed his father? And he too, couldn't entertain such a vivid imagination as to think that it would all be for nought after throwing Carlisle into this imaginary pit with all the cobra's and boa constrictors...

"They abide by a law, here, Seth" Jasper breathed through the tenseness, he had delayed to use his gift to take it all away-as he too felt the fear of sacrificing a lamb to Demon after confusing it for their God in a moment of desperation.

"How do you know?" Emmett spoke up. His thoughts were a whirl of emotion and fear, staring through darkness and moving shadows, watching passing cars and humans.

"Trust me..." Jasper said absently, losing himself in past memories "There are laws here. And were there are laws, killing is not so simple. Especially if it's going to be vampire killing" he said, drawing out the words to 'vam-pie-uh uh-killen'.

"So Carlisle..." Seth tried again.

"Is inside" Edward repeated "And I..." he left the sentence and dropped his head on the steering wheel despondently, his eyes shut tight. _And I don't know what I have gotten him into,_ he thought hard and bitterly.

He could here the closer thoughts of some other beings-vampires, by the intricate maze of the dull mind-and his fingers ground into a fist. Carlisle couldn't leave without spilling blood and the shame that overtook him stopped him from voicing this out.

The guards littering the front wouldn't know of the other deal that could be struck at this swanky place-if you had the right look, the right kind of walk and a bit of control. And more importantly, if you didn't mind switching Gods. And this bit of information was lost to Edward's telepathy as a result-lost on the 'brothers' in the Mercedes as Carlisle chanted his hail Mary's and thoughts of his Esme through his wading through blood and excruciating foreplay that Carlisle knew was ending in death.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"...no, he is fine" Edward breathed after a minute, his eyes were shut tight. They had just watched the red Jaguar pull into the compound, convoyed by a Ranger Rover the same colour.

"What was he doing?" Emmett asked and Edward flinched, looking out the window.

"I don't know" Edward lied and Jasper paused his breathing, tasting the emotional fluctuations around him-that nauseating feel of dread and fear from a vampire. It was always worse when it came from a vampire...

_Is it bad, Edward?_ Jasper thought deliberately to his brother and all that escaped Edward's mouth after a minute was a feeble whimper.

"There is more" Edward murmured "The daughter-Flora-she is in there. That was her in the red Jag..."

"Is _that _bad?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know" this time Edward spoke the truth. "But Carlisle is unharmed" Physically, at least-he thought in dismay.

"She is here to... do something. Hold fort, I think. This side of their territory is at risk" Edward frowned "Most of them have left with Joham, I think"

"What's to say Renesme hasn't been taken with them?" Seth asked-never mincing like his brothers did, but never meaning to hurt him with his frankness either.

"I..."  
>"You don't know!" Emmett rushed over him as though he too, was a telepath and Edward hung his head heavily.<p>

"I have sent our father to his death" Edward whispered but not one of his brothers answered him for knew their thoughts.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"We find a recruit... a successful one at that, and this bullshit erupts!" Flora growled wheeling around in the foyer. They all pushed back, giving her a wide perimeter to storm around in, her heart a-flutter with anxiousness and excitement. "Nathaniel!" she called and the vampire stiffened, standing like a well trained navy seal.

"Cynthia is his host" he said quickly "He is... I think, successful. She promised him the 'divine' blood"

"Of course" Flora glowered cryptically-looking away from them all. The divine blood-what better way to capture a vampire's loyalty (especially a vampire not sired by Joham himself) than to give them a taste of something so rare and decadent that to return to the taste of human blood would be like switching from heroine to cough syrup. But she wasn't about to stoop low on that ladder, no... not her.

"Were the hell is Nahuel and that bitch?" she asked casually and no one answered. "Nathaniel?"

"I have already called" Nathaniel breathed. In a room full of vampires, Flora's heart beat filled the air with her anger.

"Argh!" her phone rang again and Flora flipped it open impatiently. "Nahuel is not here with that red head..." she paused abruptly, her eyes wide. The other vampires listened intently to the sounds of chaotic growls and roaring at the other end of the line and Joham's shouting for his daughter-the one with the gift to persuade-to leave the building with Nahuel in charge as soon as possible. "Its not worth it!" Joham finished and the line went dead.

"Is it done?" Flora asked after a minute. She smiled at Nathaniel, walking slowly over to him and holding his gaze.

"Yes"

"Nathaniel?" she crooned "When Nahuel arrives, do not mention this phone call"

"Y..." he faltered and she pulled into his red eyes, she pulled into his mind and he frowned-emotions stuttering before he said finally "Yes"

"I will speak with him" Flora said "And you will take him and his whelp to do the necessary with our...?"  
>"Our Mr Jonas Fry" Nathaniel breathed absently and Flora frowned.<p>

"Jonas Fry?"  
>"Yes, Mistress"<br>"Now that isn't a very vampire like name!" she laughed-a care free laugh of one whose life didn't have many problems, of one who knew they would see the night through and had the morning to look forward to. "Well, take him to Mr Fry-such a pity, I would have loved to have a new recruitment"

"He is here" Nathaniel murmured in a daze-she couldn't release him if she wanted it to stick. His hearing was superior, she knew-and that old Jeep they always sent out to retrieve her royal _Bronziness _(Flora wasn't jealous, not she... of what? That Nahuel was genuinely in love with it? Not she...)

And in seconds, the Jeep pulled in with two lovers seated in an icy silence.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"You have done well, even if you didn't manage to..." Cynthia murmurs, her lips are red and she stumbles backward in a daze. "I apologize for intervening and stopping you from completing the other, wel..."  
>"It is fine" Carlisle said softly-his voice detached. He had known if he let the blood out it in to the air she would have interrupted the fornication part of this gruesome exercise "I wish you hadn't broken her so, though"<p>

"Yes, uh..." Cynthia smoothed her gown and looked back to the archway. "I apologize once more"

"Fine" he snapped, picking up his shirt carefully and arranging Rita's limbs so only her naked back was exposed.

"Please don't mention that I interrupted you, I will say you completed everything. The Mistress is very..." she waved her hand at the still bodies lying naked in the scatter cushions, her eyes wide and terrified.

"I said _fine_!" Carlisle roared, rounding on her with wicked violence dancing his eyes. His chest heaved violently up and down-air pushed hard through his lungs-and his unbuttoned pants dangling in oblivious seduction on his hips.

"I have to go!" she squeaked, all her grandiosity and arrogance left in her 'boudoir' of death with a tortured archangel.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"I cannot stay and watch you complete the recruitment, sadly" Flora murmured in disappointment "I do apologise"  
>"You apologise?" Renesme frowned. She ignored Renesme and moved to hug Nahuel ferociously, ignoring how stiff he went in her arms.<p>

"Brother?" she breathed impassioned, never releasing him "Do take care of business?"

"It's only recruitment, Flora?" Nahuel said in confusion-but she looked deep in his eyes, her own eyes doing their pulsing dance of hypnotising.

"Yes, but it maybe you wont have another one like this" she said reverently and kissed him firmly on his mouth-ignoring Renesme's hacking of disgust this time. "Try as hard as you can, brother... to keep things in order. For father"

And with that, the red Jaguar exited the compound.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"Here he is..." Cynthia whispered "Jonas Fry"  
>"Mr Jona-" Nahuel stopped in his tracks-not because of the lingering blood in the air, or that he found the sight of naked women lying in languish sensuality in a nest of soft cushions crude...<p>

Renesme entered after him; she was already pouting and trying to ignore the four vampires that trailed in behind her and Nahuel. It isn't like they are making sure you do things right, she thought to herself. It isn't like they are forcing you, she thought to herself. She bumped into Nahuel's back-he paused unceremoniously just in front of the archway. She scowled at his blue shirt.

"Nahuel?" she asked, poking him forward-the vampire guard behind her huffing and muttering impatiently.

"Renesme" Nahuel breathed, his voice sounded wrong but she was too busy worrying about having to fight some strange vampire for her wrist by the end of the night. He took a step to the side and let her in. "Meet Mr Jonas, for the very first time... if it would do you good. If it would do your _health _good"

She frowned at this too. Why should meeting a man with a cook-a-doodle name be a hazard to her...?

Her eyes widened momentarily as she saw the familiar halo of blonde gold. She felt Nahuel's hand rush in front of her and hadn't realised she had lurched forward, willing to run to her Grandpa instinctively. He stopped her and in the same odd tone, he repeated "Meet Mr Jonas, if it would do your _health _good-for the very first time"  
>"Mr Jonas" she said dryly and the vampires behind her entered. She stared at his shirt, half buttoned up with a single tiny drop of crimson forming a lonely deformed polka-dot on it.<p>

"Nahuel!" a booming cry fleeted through the foyer behind them and every vampire turned towards it. In the second, a thin man entered, his eyes wide. "Banik and Flora have left with the guard!"  
>Nahuel frowned, irritated but thankful for the distraction. He couldn't look into Carlisle Cullen's red eyes, nor could Renesme for that matter. She was frozen, staring at anything that wasn't her Grandpa's red glowing eyes. Wasn't it funny she laughed at Nahuel for having a Papa with red demon eyes?<p>

"So what...?"Nahuel breathed in a scratching ring, his eyes closed and fist clenched. His other hand held Renesme in place lest she blow the whole thing up into the air and have Joham's remaining guard on them like vampires on blood.

"So Raul has the upper hand!" the thinner vampire breathed "So... he has sent werewolves...! I got a call..." the man waved a phone indicatively.  
>"You cannot command werewolves. They are mindless creatures..." Nahuel began but the outside became alive with growls and supernatural shrieks of terror.<p>

"Shit" Nahuel breathed, he gave Renesme's hand one squeeze-looked at Carlisle with despairing regret and signalled for Nathaniel to follow him out with his men. He had to try as hard as he could and keep things in order-for Father.

"Nessie" Carlisle said stiffly before attempting to smile. He grimaced instead, his eyes wide and glowing crimson

"What are you doing here!" Renesme yelled, ignoring Cynthia's inquisitive eyes watching her "Why did you come! Why did you come here, you wont ever leave! He wont ever let you... if he found out..."

"And Joham will" Cynthia murmured viciously "And he..." Cynthia stopped abruptly when her ambitious ranting was stopped as Renesme spun on her heels and let out a feral growl at her.

"We leave together, Nessie" Carlisle promised, his hand out to his granddaughter. She looked at it in fear, back at his face-sure to ignore the eyes and then ran into his arm. He held her, her sobs escaping into the air-droned out by the violent growling and shouting outside. "What is happening?" Carlisle asked Cynthia.

"Raul sent Werewolves to rain destruction" Cynthia said absently "We are about to die. She left with the guard"  
>"<em>She<em> left?" Carlisle asked. "Who is 'She'?"

"Flora... they left us so they could find something to chew on" Cynthia said calmly sitting back down on the chaise. "Renesme, you naughty girl... you know Jonas?"  
>"Why are you here!?" Renesme yelled again, tears in her eyes-she ignored Cynthia fluidly, grabbing Carlisle's hand and pulling him away from the room, through the archway. "What have you done, Carlisle!?"<br>"How else could I have found you?" he asked softly "Tell me there was another way, Nessie..."

"Carlisle..." was all she said, pushing forward through the grand foyer were glass and marble chunks lay strewn on the floor-marble that were twitching "You have followed me to hell... this is hell and when Joham..." she paused, jumping back as a head rolled by their feet. It spun around and let out a pained groan. In the darkness she could see giant beasts weaving through the remainder of the guard, jaws snapping and limbs flailing.  
>"Joham isn't coming back here..." the vampire head murmured-it was the thin vampire and then it cackled sickly "Even I know that, and I don't have a head on my shoulders"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

They watched silently as she stood at the edge of the water, her hair white silk in the moonlight-the only thing that had been moving about her. She stood there, staring at nothingness stretching out to the main lands. The dark waters between all of that moved the image of the moon lazily about them.

Rosalie Cullen had a bad feeling. But she wasn't alone in that emotion.

"I am sure they are alright" Charles murmured from behind her and she nodded her head stiffly in agreement. She wanted to plunge into the waters and go there, rove over the lands of Rio and search him out-her man-her Emmett.

"I mean..." Charles breathed, his fingers tensing and straining as he locked them and clicked them in double-jointed weirdness "If they weren't we would have seen the explosions, knowing Em and Jazz?"  
>"Definitely" she said. And in the next second, just east of the main lands-it was an indiscernible mass of shadow to lessor eyes-a flash of white light erupted and orange filled the far off coast.<p>

"It could be anything" Charles said quickly, looking back at Jacob and Leah (he had previously been watching them with chariness as they spoke in hushed tones). He looked back at Jacob pointedly but the man only blinked at him in confusion. If Leah were hurt or troubled, Charles had no doubt he would have felt it... and right now, he wanted Jacob Black to feel something.

Charles heart beat rose once more-he had never completely calmed and was now walking about without a shirt on, heat coursing through him.

"It's nothing" Charles said again "Just... something that isn't... anything"  
>"Right" Rosalie said with the same concrete tone.<p>

"I..." he hesitated, looking back at the now silent Leah and Jacob (this time with sadness-it really was his own fault for avoiding Leah, really...) "I can do something" he told Rosalie.

"Charles" was all she said and he couldn't be sure if she was reprimanding him or not.

"I did it once..." he said hurriedly-hoping the speed of his words would be lost to Leah and Jacob. "I touched her mind... I know I did"  
>"Charles" this time it was weary sigh "It is like you said, everything is fine"<br>"But it's not!" he hissed, his eyes flashing as he stared at Rosalie's eternally beautiful sad face. "I can feel it; I can feel it hard in my heart..." he hit his chest with too much force at this and winced at the pain.

"Charles..." she tried again but he had closed his eyes and had puckered his mouth in concentration, calling on that last drifting feeling he had felt when he had fallen asleep once and heard Renesme Cullen call his name.

_Renesme..._ he thought with determination but there was nothing.

_Nessie! _He called again but he was greeted with the wind over the seas.

"Mother..." he breathed out, his eyes still closed but a part of him had begun to let go... and it was then that his mind was shocked with the images of black coarse fur and snarling vampires, screeching limbs and roaring. But in real time, in front of the pain (there was pain) was the sound of the sea too. Not from his own ears, either. His eyes snapped open and the breath knocked out of him.

"Charles?" Jacob Black called from up by the house, Leah had risen from the sand with him.

"They are on their way" Charles said in a voice dripping with cold dread. "All of them"  
>"Charles?" Rosalie murmured, but it was Jacob who caught him as he shivered and convulsed.<p>

"Buddy, calm down!" Jacob roared "Leah, get over here!"  
>And in the distance, the speed boat roared over the waves-pushing desperately forward but before it arrived, from the waters-Rosalie's husband and brother emerged.<p>

"Emmett?" she breathed-taking a tentative step forward before breaking into a run-that lasted a second before crashing into his arms. He was scarred on his face and limping but she felt him strong in her arms. He had returned whole. She released him and reached one had to touch Jasper's cheek.

"We need to get off this Island now" Jasper said. "Carlisle has gone ahead to get the yacht..." 

The speedboat arrived then, Jacob pushing away from Leah and Charles to meet it. The first thing he noted was the odd way it tilted to one side and then he saw the sandy wolf raise its giant head, leaping out of the boat while it still moved and paddling the remainder of the way to shore. It limped lightly and came to stand still in front of him.

"Seth?" he whispered and it collapsed in a heap of fur at his feet.

He watched terrified, fighting away the rippling along his spine. A pale girl stood up from the boat, picked a body up and flung it violently into the air were it crashed loudly in the shallow beach front. The body squirmed up right-it was a man-and the smell of blood hit the air. The rust smell sent Jasper and the reunited Rosalie and Emmett further down the beach while the man groaned and twisted in the waters before collapsing once more.

"Seth?" Jacob tried again but the wolf didn't budge. Its heart was steady and at the moment, that was good enough for Jacob Black. He moved two steps back and let the heat carry over his skin and twisted into the air a giant russet wolf. _Seth..._ he murmured, but Seth was unconscious-replaying the three werewolves he found himself fighting with a one-armed Edward

_Edward..._ Jacob moved forward and then paused when he realised who the girl fumbling with something in the boat was-the girl moaning "Papa" and picking up odd pieces. He turned back to Leah who was trying to drag a fighting Charles back from the unwinding grim scene. Charles had stopped his phasing, a thin sheen of sweat all over his skin and finally-impatiently, he pushed Leah's hands off of him.

In one swift motion, Charles clambered over the boat-pausing to place a hand on Renesme's shuddering frame before staring down into the hidden boat floor and letting out a long droning cry.

"No!" Charles cried... and he kneeled down and picked something up. "Edward!"

"We need to leave!" Jasper called. "Charles, gather him up... Carlisle has the boat at the other end of the island. We leave now! Emmett, Rose and I are good enough for swimming... Jacob and Leah get Seth! Move!"

"Nahuel?" Renesme cried and Emmett growled so loud that the sound droned out Seth's unconscious growling.

"Leave the fucker!" Rosalie spat, Emmett hauling her away. "You get your father and son and you leave that..."  
>"He saved me" this was Edward's hoarse voice fleeting from Charles arms; only, Edward wasn't supposed to fit well enough that he was completely hidden in the boy-no, <em>man's<em> cradling arms. "Let him come with us... take him... Jacob? Please?"

Jacob let out a growl of compliance left the waking up of Seth Clearwater to his sister. Leah pelted her brother with large dangerous looking rocks-all the while screaming "Wake up you pansy!"

In fifteen minutes, Seth Clearwater woke up and stumbled upright into his human form and hobbled with his sister around the grand house to the yacht. Jacob Black flung an unconscious Nahuel over his shoulder and broke into an even jog in the same direction and Edward Cullen was carried by both his daughter and grandson... in separate quantities.

They left the war of Raul and Joham behind them, ablaze.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"The gang war that erupted in the late night till the early morning of yesterday ended with no causalities save for damaged properties and cars", the News Reporter read out into the camera -her face showing on Carolina Sanchez kitchen television screen as she wiped her dishes dry.

"And police are investigating the fire that burnt down the glitzy club 'Help!' last night, in the same hours of the gang war" the News Reporter read on "The fire is not yet concluded to be as a result of the war... although the club is situated in the hub of all the chaos that had ensued. The fire left two dead, that of a young girl identified as the missing Marietta 'Rita' Hernandez and an unknown female..."

"And these dumb useless police don't think it's strange that a club only had two people in it on a Friday evening?" Carolina asked herself with a scoff but her daughter answered regardless.

"It was the Gang Monsters" Maria murmured in quiet unwavering terror.

"You bet!" Carolina crooned teasingly at her little girl. "And how do we keep the gang monsters away?"

"Stay away from drugs" Maria finished with the conviction only a child could master "They are bad!"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**I will see you soon.**

**Xx**

**Tj.**


	28. Safe and Sound

**SAFE AND SOUND**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**I wish I wasn't so afraid. I wish so hard that I wasn't such a coward. Could I blame your for these things? Could I blame you for fear and cowardice? If they were not thrown to me by you, I would not have learnt to pick them-fear and cowardice-and hurl them back as Defence and Bravery.**

**For never would I know strength if I had not been weak.**

**x**

I wasn't running away.

"Do it quickly, dammit!" I scolded myself, failing to zip up my toiletry bag, fingers trembling and vision blurring even though my thick lens glasses were propped steadily on my nose.

The bag jumped out of my grasp, performing a single cartwheel in the air as my tooth brush, toothpaste and skin cleanser broke free-before clattering on the bathroom floor, the other escaped contents serenading its landing.

I jumped away from the sound, my heart pushing ferociously against my chest. I had to stay calm; I had to slow my breathing.

I wasn't running away.

So what if I had grown up here? Fallen in love here and had my heart broken here too? Did it matter that this was all I knew and the sunny places after the perpetual cloud cover I lived in could wield demons of a different kind? Could there be demons of a different kind?

"Don't think like that, Angela!" I groaned, dropping to my knees hard, pain flashing from the sudden impact. I squeezed my eyes shut all I saw was Isabella's red eyes. "Just contacts, Angela, not her eyes" I murmured to this weaker side off me that was content to curl in a ball right here in my too pink bathroom and never move again.

One too many times I had a broken heart, too few times I felt love and a migraine too painful ending in black outs of late... I was simply taking an extended possibly never ending vacation. Away from Forks, coincidentally. Away from anything cold. Or pale. And especially beautiful this had nothing to do with the Cullen's.

I wasn't running away.

"Shit" I stopped my folding of clothes and froze over the suitcase. The soft rapping on the front door continued, the sound fleeting up the stairs to my tenses ears.

It carried on without a break and I laughed at how silly I was being. When had Isabella ever knocked? Or called to say she was 'popping by'? She appeared like a spectre. A nightmare. My sanities tormentor with her hard smile and flat red eyes.

_Contacts, Angela!_ I hissed to myself, cantering down the stairs. _They are just bloody red contacts._

I moved slowly through the lounge, glaring briefly at the lumpy plastic covered furniture. I would send that to the twins for their bachelor pad. Although I shouldn't be promoting their single lifestyle in their late twenties. Single was for the lonely. Single was being lonely. And I found out too late how dangerous it could be too.

I didn't even have the excuse of being a divorcee. There had been no wedding; there had been no marriage and certainly no Fiancé. There was the high school sweetheart; there was the one night stand while I was drunk out of my mind and the heartbreaking four year relationship with a married man...

"NO!" I shrieked, the moment I swung the door open and found myself gazing into flat black eyes encased in lavender eyelids and captured perfectly like Michelangelo's marble angels. Only they were not angels no, maybe in disguise... but underneath, none of them were angels.

"Angela" she gripped the door before I had even raised my hand to slam it in her angel-faced underlying demon form.

"No..." I choked, backing away and shaking my head vehemently. She entered calmly-startling me with how very human she kept her grace (I was expecting teleportation-like movements. That I come to expect since Isabella...)  
>She closed the door carefully behind her. She cast her dark eyes at my covered furniture, then at the many cardboard boxes littered on the floor and then finally, with a delicately raised eyebrow-she looked at me.<p>

"Where would you go, Angela?" she asked softly-her voice was the same tinkling bell from high school "Texas?" she answered in the same breath. It didn't surprise me that she knew the answer even though I had not told a soul. I doubt I had really told myself, come to think of it.

"She will find you there" she stated-and this too didn't surprise me "She will kill you, Angela. Or worse" this too wasn't any sudden bit of information I had failed to come up to. I had mulled over this during my escape-no, vacation plans.

"Don't you want to know what is worse?" she asked, her dark eyes still wide "You think death is as bad as it gets" she smiled. She wasn't playing a guessing game with me-she knew through and through.

"Well, it isn't Angela" she said sadly.

"Being a red eyed demon" Alice Cullen finished grimly "That's as bad as it gets"

And finally, surprise and shock took me over and my jaw dropped.

Xx~xx~xX

"Tell me as much as you know and can remember, Angela"  
>"And what?" I kept my expression cold "You will protect me? And only if I give you what you want?"<br>"I will protect you because many years ago..." Alice Cullen smiled "You were a girl with horned rim glasses, atrocious fashion sense but a heart big enough to include my family when you had no need to"

"Family" I scoffed-tried to scoff anyway, the sound came out high pitched.

"You really don't have to tell me anything, Angela" she gave her small smile-but something in her eyes remained positive that her request would fall through eventually.

"And I wont tell you!" I yelled, rising from the kitchen table in fake bravado although my anger was so intermingled with my fear of her small white form sitting calmly in my kitchen.

"You know why I wont tell you?" I demanded, my lips pulled in a cynical sneer-who cared if it was slightly manic, my sanity was something unhinged because of these... these _Cullen's._

"Because we are working with her-after all, we made her pale and beautiful like ourselves. The Bella you knew somehow died when she married Edward?" she quoted my thoughts perfectly before I had a chance to voice them out. I stared at her, my mouth hanging open.

"But you see, Angela" Alice folded her hands delicately over the tabletop, an expression resembling weariness fighting to remain on her gorgeous fairy-like face. She closed her eyes and inhaled a careful breath before opening them with such heart-breaking regret and sadness swimming in their inky depths that when she finally uttered the words:

"She isn't a par of us and we are not a part of her", I was sold.

Hook, line and sinker. And didn't it make crystal sense then?

"Red eyes" I fell back into the chair, muscles releasing in painful relief.

"Our eyes..." Alice said seriously "Are not red, as you well know and drop the self delusions Angela, you know it has nothing to do with contacts"

"But..."  
>"Make no mistake; she will either turn you into what we are or kill you" she answered my unworded question "And no, we are not demons. Not really"<br>"Why does it matter to you if I die or... worse" I asked her softly, it felt like she was lifting up a ton of concrete off my chest "No bull about past friendships that had centred around Isabella"

"Honestly?" Alice asked. I nodded and she took in a breath "If she does manage to turn you, and you become what we are... my family will be doomed"  
>"How could I possibly..."<br>"I don't know how" she cut me "But it will end in violent blackness

Xx~xx~xX

The drive out of town was different to how I had envisioned it for three days since I had sold the Mercedes and purchased the Volkswagen. I had expected deafening silence, I had expected paranoia and more importantly (it was easier to admit this now that I was seated next to Alice in the Lamborghini, cruising to God knows were and assured that I would be arriving there whole), I had expected death.

I had packed everything, arranged for a tenant to take lodge in my house and sold all the unnecessary or given it away. The car was bought that would be economical for fuel and the housing paid for in Texas. All of this had been done, but I hadn't expected to survive the very journey. I had nightmares of her in those three days; she would appear in the middle of the lonely highway, her gown flowing like fire from hell about her and those red eyes staring at me. A cruel smile on her red lips and that Volkswagen I got would turn into my coffin, and Isabella would be my undertaker.

Alice doesn't say much and I suppose it's because I haven't asked her much as yet. Occasionally her eyes glass over and I know she isn't watching the road but her pace remains steady and straight. She hasn't changed, nothing about her has changed-her hair maybe shorter but that could just be the style she has worn it in. I suppose what I am seeing is physical stagnancy... she is the same sure, but after an hour of travelling, I notice other things.

Maybe her skin is much smoother, maybe its whiter and maybe her eyes have a different depth too them. She isn't the bubbly quirky girl from high school who made it a habit to 'dance' from class to class. She is a woman in there, and something more...

"We are going to have to change cars" she sighs. "Maybe something a little less flashy"

"You haven't really told me where we are heading?" I ask her and she smiles slightly. All her smiles are somewhat sad; they fail to reach her dark eyes (I am not sure I want to know why they are black and not the tawny colour I remember).

"You don't need to know" she smiled "Not yet. But I can tell you we are going to where my family is"  
>"But she..."<br>"I just told you she isn't a part of us, Angela" she said quickly, looking at me sternly for a minute-ignoring the road but overtaking a slow truck easily without so much as blinking "It's a case of safety in numbers"  
>"Why are you certain she is coming for me for that particular purpose?" I asked her. Maybe she knew the same way I did; how many times can you stare into the devils eyes before being consumed by hells fires.<p>

"I fell upon your future..." Alice said and it bothered me how apologetic she sounded. She looked away and I did the same. I watched as the world zoomed past us. She was watching my future; now, that was easy to believe considering everything.

"Ever since we found out she had visited you, I have been watching" Alice continued "When you came by our house and Edward..."  
>"I remember the day" I said. "Well, she came again"<p>

"She... came... again?" she asked slowly, watching me from the corner of her eye.

"Yes" I said softly. "This is the first visit from her that I remember completely; without migraines and memory loss"  
>""She came again!" she growled, her tiny white fingers gripping the steering wheel angrily "And I didn't see? And here you are... alive. With a beating heart"<p>

I frowned in confusion but remained silent. She was pissed, angry... maybe it at Isabella but it was still confusing.

"You remember because all of Joham's children were with him" Alice said in a disgusted tone "No Flora or the other one, the one who steals memories"  
>"I don't know what you are talking about"<br>"I know, but it doesn't matter" she said in a softer voice, smoothing her expression "What did she want Angela?"  
>"She wanted to know how long you had gone away for and where to?"<br>"Now why would she think you would know that?!"  
>"I don't know" I mumbled. "But I don't think that she comes to Forks to source information only. She comes to drive me insane. To torment me"<br>"What does she say to you?" Alice asked softly-in a hollow voice.

"This is the only time I remember clearly" I said frowning "And she didn't really talk about anything of importance, she just..." 

Refused to leave my house when I begged her to, watching me eat with glaring anger filled eyes and what had broken my feeble hold on controlling my fear... was when she gave me a haircut. I touched the beanie sitting warm and snug on my head with a shaky hand.

"She terrifies me" I whispered-voice quaking and pitching "She is insane. She is evil... she stayed at my house for a week until those evil eyes had turned to coal. And in those days, I could not leave nor could I allow visitors. She killed my cat"

"How did she kill your cat?" Alice asked in a tiny voice, pulling into a service station. She parked the car in front of the convenience store and continued to stare out the window the way she had been while driving. Like there was something in the distance that frightened her but she was determined to plough through. She wouldn't look at me and wore something similar to guilt on her face.

"I don't know" I said. "It was dead and had a gash by its throat"  
>"You say she stayed for a week?"<br>"A whole week" I murmured. "She... she insisted on bathing me. She insisted on..."

I stopped and let the hot tears fall over my cheeks. The rest of what Isabella 'insisted on' had stripped me of integrity and comfort of my own body. It hadn't been mine, in the end. It had belonged to no one, this body...

"Don't cry Angela!" Alice begged, her hand hovering over my face. A cold finger touched my cheek and I flinched violently away.

"_Do not touch me_!" I hissed, pushing against the closed car door. "Don't you ever fucking touch me you... you...!"

"I apologise" she stated stonily. She gave me a minute to compose myself, watching the outside of the car-the people moving by, the different cars driving in and out. "Would you care for something to eat? I tend to forget about such things; Edward is... well, he is better at it than I am"

"You don't eat" I scoffed "Like her, I know it. I remember it from school"

"Do you want me to eat, Angela?" she asked, that sad smile ghosting over her lips. It almost made me remorseful for my outburst. Almost... but her eyes were still black coal sitting in white desolate planes No matter if I believed her or not. Red eyed or amber. She was an 'it' and I wasn't about to let that go.

That's what had led me to being Isabella's living Barbie Doll, after all. Such naivety born out of having a coddling Priest for a father who overcompensated for my mother's early departure from this 'earthly life'. None of that; and I had made damn sure of it with my brothers.

"I can eat to put you at ease" Alice smiled. I shook my head. "Oh, okay. Do you want to come in the store with me?"

I opened the car door awkwardly without answering her, it made a whoosh sound and propped upwards. It did the same thing when I pushed it downwards. She waited patiently for me to walk around the car to her and we went in together in the store.

Xx~xx~xX

"Oh" she breathed while her eyes did their rapid blinking before glassing over dance. She had been in the middle of asking me what crisps I would like. She had picked the very ones I liked in fact, smiling sheepishly before asking me if I liked them. Like she had forgotten she shouldn't know that and in an effort to make me more comfortable with her (I was still refusing to let that make me feel bad) she had asked.

"We will be driving a Toyota truck" she announced, dropping the crisps in the basket swinging on her small arm "I hope you don't mind; it really isn't as fast and smooth"  
>"No, I don't mind" I said. She smiled again, and remained silent after that-paying for the basket full of junk food, opening the car door for me and driving about thirty minutes out of the little town we had passed through with the stereo on.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

Like she promised, we got the Toyota truck.

Well, she got it. Stole it I suspect and she seemed very proud of how fast she brought it and I didn't bother asking her why the doors where still locked even though she managed to move it from point A to Z. She said in an eerie tone, tugging at my door once, a sick metal squelching erupting from the inside although she appeared to open it freely "I won't be asking Edward to get me this for Christmas like last time..." and then added glumly while wiring the car to a start "I really hope we celebrate Christmas"

It spooked me how absolutely fragile she seemed, pained and troubled. Demons were not like this. Demons had red glow in the dark eyes, they had perfectly charming and inviting smiles... they didn't talk about things with such wilting despair and worry about not being able to see the future clearly.

But it could have all been a trick.

God, had I gotten so used to suspicion and the safety of my paranoia that the thought of it being anything else was inconceivable? Or worse, I wanted it to desperately be a trick, for us to reach our destination and have Isabella waiting for us... because I could understand that. I was so used to fear...

God, let it be a trick. Please.

Xx~xx~xX

We arrived eventually after maybe a day of travelling. Or less. It would have been longer had she not driven endlessly from Forks to the backwater town we arrived in the dead of night. The pit stop she announced around the same time I had a call of nature couldn't even be counted in denting the time.

"Here you go" she murmured, producing a single key from the top pocket of her blouse. It was cold, wherever we where-but it was that kind of windy chill that let me know morning would definitely bring the sun.

She opened the door and swung it open for me, smiling back at me as she stepped into the apartment of the crappy building she had parked the Toyota in front off. I followed her drained, sitting and sleeping for hours on end in a car didn't constitute as any form of rest.

The light flashed on with a click from somewhere beside me but when I turned, expecting to see her standing small and beautiful by the light switches, she wasn't there. "I hope you like navy" she said from the other end of the lounge, drawing the curtains shut.

She turned around smiling. "You will be safe here, Angela"  
>"Are you staying with me?" I asked her and flinched when it came out hopeful. When it came out desperate and needy.<p>

"No" she said and I pursed my lips shut to stop from begging her not to go. Not to leave me in this too quiet building, in this town surrounded by farms and located in the middle of no where.

"But..." she said cheerfully and my eyes went wide as if to snatch in every bit of hopeful light "I am staying here. My family is staying here. And if you need anything... you can just call"  
>"I thought when you said you where all together you meant I would be with you?"<br>"Trust me..." she chuckled morosely "Being with us, at present... would be counter productive to your mental recovery from Isabella"

Of course she was right. I didn't want to be with them because I wanted company so badly... I just hoped their added bodied might slow her down. I couldn't say I recognised this person I was, but she was constantly at war the side of me that wanted to bitch slap Isabella across the face and tell her to go to hell. But that would have been like telling her to go home...

"There is a phone in the drawer of you bedside table" she said moving towards the door, preparing to leave me here alone "I don't need to tell you to only call the numbers on it. That would be mine as for now, the others are... well, if you think you are up to knowing everything... that you can handle it. Maybe you can have lunch at our place someday?"

"You'll let me know soon" she said. It was a statement and not a question. "Try and sleep well, Angela. I promise you, you are safe"

"Why didn't Edward..." I asked in a small voice "I mean, he was... I was a lot more close I guess... I just expected if there would have been anyone to come in and well, intervene with the Isabella. It would have been him"

"It was him" she said, her face a hard mask-as if she thought loosening it would cause it to fall apart and reveal something shameful "In a way. You see Angela, as much as we try and be good... being good is really _trying _to us_._ Because sometimes you get so used to being good that when it calls on you to be bad, you are the _worst_"

"I don't understand?"  
>"I didn't have to be looking out for your future" she said revealing that shamed look"I had a lot on my plate. But he begged me; he didn't want Isabella to hurt you because of him"<br>"It wasn't his fault..." I began and remembered my mantra to not relate to them.

"Masochistic even when he is lying in pieces" she sighed cryptically. "Besides, I sort of broke my promise to him. I was the worst. Selfishly the worst. I should have seen Isabella come to you again"

"Why didn't you?"  
>"Because when my Jasper was away from me, when Edward came back torn up and other things you wouldn't understand..." she said imploring me with her eyes to understand her, to understand <em>something<em> gruesome and true "I couldn't deal with anything else. I shut it all out and looked only to those around my heart. And then this one day, when I was too sad to worry about concentrating on anything... I saw you dead. And I panicked, because _of course_ I remembered what I had promised Edward... so I looked again, and this time, you were staring at me with red demented eyes. And when I looked again, you were dead. And it continued switching between dead and undead till I made sense that it was uncertain..."  
>"Whether I would live or die" I said quietly and she nodded.<p>

"And I told him what I saw, and he begged me to get you. To keep you safe-but of course that's what I wanted too" she finished "And here we are"

"I still don't know why you say he is broken and torn when..." I began and she shushed me gently.

"Sleep, Angela" she murmured. "When you are ready to make that lunch date, when you think you are strong enough to be a part of our world-although, I advice you to keep well away and enjoy the quaintness of our present environment-then you will understand. And then there will be no unlearning what you understand"

She left and I quickly went to the windows in front of the lounge-the ones with the navy curtains-expecting to see her pulling out in the Toyota. It was parked there, beside a sedan, just like we left it. She stood still, just behind it and waved tersely and I thought I saw a smile on her lips. That same sad smile. And then she casually walked towards the trees growing freely at the other side of the road-these were strong and denser trees than the Forks trees-and with one final glance, she was out of my sights.

Even with all her imploring for me to sleep, that I was safe... I dreamt of Isabella Swan (for if she wasn't of the Cullen's, and they weren't for her... then she was really still just a plain old 'Swan'). She was watching me while I trembled in a bath filled with ice cold water; her fingers dipping under the water till they cupped my calf in a slimy cold hold.

She watched with red eyes. Then she smiled with red lips. And when she smiled further, enjoying my fear and taking pleasure from my pain, her lips pulled sensuously away from her teeth. Jagged, yellow shards were what they revealed when they were stretched to capacity in a cruel grin.

"Angela" she crooned. "Such an angel... such a lovely delicious Angel..." and just like that, her mouth widened gruesomely to something deformed, shark-teeth glinting in the light and her black hole swallowing me whole.

Xx~xx~xX

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**And this is how it ends. The first part at least. So there will be no more chapter updates on this story, for the sequel... you will be heading on to "The Corners of Immortality"-that will be the title of the story. So look out for that.**

**If there are some of you who have ever read Shadow Beast, one of my stories that I had later stripped down... pretend you have not. Sometimes, with some of my stories, I bounce ideas off of them. Just like with 'A twisted Love' which I shall take down too, there are major points that I want to implement. As I Am shall remain though, and be continued slowly but it has elements that I will be including in the sequel too.**

**So see you in "The Corners of Immortality", this story is officially continuing from there.**

**Ps. I will post two chapters to begin with in "The Corners of Immortality", so don't be surprised when this one appears there. It has its purpose.**

**And again, as I have a million times in hopes of hearing the silent reader's thoughts on things: Review your suggestions, criticism and such!  
>Thank you to all who have reviewed, constant reader... You Are Legend.<strong>

**Tj **


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